Tina Fey
Relationships can be complex, and sometimes, the small things tell you more than the grand gestures.
Hey there, I’m Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and your go-to gal for relationship advice.
If you’ve been wondering whether she’s really the right person for you, it’s worth paying attention to certain subtle behaviors that might be signaling otherwise. For instance, if she frequently dismisses your opinions, or if she’s emotionally distant when you need support, these could be red flags.
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and relationship expert, has spent decades studying what makes relationships succeed or fail. He emphasizes that ignoring these early warning signs can lead to long-term dissatisfaction.
Gottman’s research shows that the health of a relationship often hinges on the seemingly small interactions that build—or erode—trust and connection over time.
In this article, we’ll explore eight subtle behaviors that might indicate she’s just not the right person for you. Recognizing these signs early can help you make informed decisions about your relationship. Let’s dive in and uncover what these behaviors might be telling you.
1) She’s always right
In the world of romance, it’s all about balance.
And one thing I’ve learned in my journey as a relationship expert is that a relationship without balance is like a boat without an anchor, ready to be swept away by the tiniest storm.
One of the subtle behaviors that can tip you off to an imbalance is if she always has to be right.
Now, we all like to be right, don’t we? But when it becomes a constant need, it can indicate a deeper issue.
If she’s unable to admit when she’s wrong or always dismissing your perspective, it’s time to step back and reassess. This isn’t about winning debates; it’s about respecting each other’s voices.
2) She doesn’t respect your time
As Benjamin Franklin once wisely said, “Lost time is never found again.”
And you know what? Old Ben was right. Your time is valuable, and how someone treats it says a lot about their respect for you.
Personally, I’ve always believed that punctuality is more than just being on time—it’s a sign of respect.
If she’s consistently late, cancels plans at the last minute, or keeps you waiting without a valid reason, it’s a clear indication that she doesn’t value your time.
Everyone can be tardy or need to reschedule occasionally, but when it becomes a pattern, it’s a big red flag.
A good relationship is built on mutual respect, including respect for each other’s time. If she doesn’t respect your time, she may not be the person for you.
3) She’s overly dependent on you
Imagine being the only pillar holding up a building. That’s a lot of pressure, isn’t it?
That’s exactly what it feels like when someone is overly dependent on you in a relationship. It can be emotionally draining and can lead to an unhealthy dynamic.
If she relies on you for her happiness, can’t make decisions without you, or needs constant reassurance, these are signs of an unhealthy dependence.
As I discuss in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, codependency can be a serious issue.
Building a healthy relationship involves two independent individuals coming together, not one person losing themselves in the other.
4) She’s too perfect
Think about this for a minute. Nobody’s perfect – and that’s exactly how it should be. Our imperfections make us human, they make us real.
If she appears flawless, never makes a mistake, or never admits to any faults, it might seem appealing at first. But over time, this can create an unrealistic standard for your relationship.
It’s like being with a porcelain doll rather than a real person. And let’s face it, real relationships are built on authenticity and vulnerability – warts and all.
If she’s too perfect, she might be hiding her true self or struggling with issues of authenticity and self-esteem. And that, my friend, is a sign that she might not be the right person for you.
5) She can’t handle your success
Listen, we all want to shine, and that’s great. But in a relationship, it’s important to be able to celebrate your partner’s light too.
I remember when I received my first award for the Love Connection blog. I was thrilled, but the person I was dating at the time seemed less than enthusiastic. It was a wake-up call for me.
If she belittles your achievements, can’t celebrate your success, or tries to outshine you every time you have a moment, it’s a clear indicator of insecurity and jealousy.
A healthy relationship is about being each other’s cheerleaders, not competitors. If she can’t handle your success, she might just not be the right person for you.
6) She’s emotionally unavailable
This is a tough one, but it needs to be said.
Emotional availability is like oxygen for a relationship. Without it, love can’t breathe, can’t grow.
If she’s constantly guarded, shies away from deep conversations, or seems distant when it comes to emotions, it can feel like you’re trying to connect with a wall rather than a person.
An emotionally unavailable partner can leave you feeling isolated and alone, even when you’re together. And that’s one of the loneliest feelings in the world.
7) She’s constantly critical
As the brilliant Maya Angelou once said, “Words are things, I’m convinced. You must be careful about the words you use.”
And she was right. Words have power— especially in a relationship.
If she’s constantly critical, always pointing out your flaws or never satisfied with what you do, it can be harmful to your self-esteem.
Constructive criticism is essential in any relationship but constant criticism is not about helping you grow; it’s about making her feel superior.
You deserve someone who celebrates your strengths and encourages you, not someone who constantly brings you down. If she’s always critical, she might not be the person for you.
8) She doesn’t share your values
This is the heart of the matter, my friend. And it’s something we often overlook in the glow of new love.
Values are the compass that guides our lives. If she doesn’t share your core values – whether they’re about family, honesty, ambition, kindness, or any other deeply held belief – it can lead to a lot of friction down the road.
It’s like trying to paddle a boat in two different directions. Sooner or later, you’re going to end up capsized.
A successful relationship often hinges on compatibility, shared goals, and shared values, as these elements create a strong foundation for mutual understanding and long-term partnership. If she doesn’t share your values, she just might not be the right person for you.
Final thoughts
Navigating the world of relationships isn’t easy. But being aware of these subtle behaviors can help you make better decisions for your heart and your future.
Finding the right woman means looking for someone who respects you, shares your values, and is committed to working through life’s ups and downs together, rather than seeking perfection.
And if you find yourself in a relationship that feels more like a struggle than a partnership, I encourage you to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It might just be the guide you need to steer clear of unhealthy attachments and find the fulfilling love you deserve.
Here’s to your journey in love, my friends. Remember, you deserve nothing less than a relationship that brings out the best in you.
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