Lucas Graham
I won’t beat around the bush: choosing who you want to be with is one of the most important (if not the most important) decisions you’ll ever make.
So you shouldn’t settle “just because.”
Be with someone who truly makes you happy; and who has the qualities that will make an amazing long-term partner in your eyes.
Think long and hard, and look past superficial things like looks, or age–both of which will inevitably fade anyway.
During this process, there will be certain red flags you should always take seriously.
In this article, I’ll walk you through the behaviors of the women in life you probably shouldn’t pursue.
So if you notice these habits in a potential beau, consider it time to think twice.
Let’s get to it!
1) She disrespects you
This is a big one.
You can be dating the prettiest, most interesting girl in the world, but if she doesn’t truly respect you?
Not good.
How respectful you are to fellow human beings is a reflection of your value as a person, of who you are deep down.
So if a woman constantly disrespects you, this can be incredibly telling.
And if she’s already being like this in the early stages of a relationship, think of her down the line… in ten, fifteen years?
You don’t want to end up miserable.
So if you notice her frequently belittling you or blurting out condescending and rude remarks, you know what to do.
2) She isn’t honest
It’s not rocket science: being honest in a relationship is critical.
When you choose to be with someone, you do so because, theoretically, they will make your life better.
You don’t want to have to constantly surveil your other half for fear of them lying or being deceitful.
You don’t want to have to constantly keep an eye open because she will betray your trust… again.
You want to let your guard down and be at ease with her at all times.
So if you notice she tends to bend the truth or flat-out lie, even casually, this is a big-time red flag… it undermines trust and creates a foundation of mistrust–something you could surely do without.
3) She doesn’t communicate
My ex was a horrible communicator.
Whenever she had an issue with me, she would keep it bottled up instead of talking openly about it, which created heavy feelings of resentment, anger, and disdain over time.
When I’d bring up something I felt was an issue in our relationship, she would almost defensively shut down, angrily storm out of the room “not wanting to talk about it.”
This wasn’t a sustainable way of going about things, and eventually, we had to call it quits… which was a shame since we did indeed love each other.
As you might have heard, open and honest communication is at the foundation of any functioning, successful relationship.
Hence, consistently avoiding it is, simply put, a recipe for disaster.
4) She has manipulative tendencies
Some women (and people in general) feel so entitled to get their way that when they don’t, they’ll resort to some pretty dirty tactics–one of which is emotional manipulation.
I find manipulation to be particularly common in people who weren’t raised with discipline, and who were never told “no” growing up.
So if a woman turns to things like guilt, emotional blackmail, becoming aggressive, and so on when she doesn’t get her way, take that as a cue to start walking in the opposite direction.
Old habits die hard, particularly when they’re deeply ingrained in you–and manipulative tendencies tend to be that way.
Run.
5) She regularly neglects you
Speaking of entitlement, certain women might feel like they can get away with doing the bare minimum to make your relationship “work.”
Sure, in the beginning, she may have been sweet and thoughtful, but once that honeymoon period wears off, she becomes disengaged real fast.
Maybe she’ll stop caring, become far too comfortable, thinking you’ll always just be there.
She won’t show an interest in your life, won’t make you feel special; instead making you feel neglected, leaving your self-worth in shambles.
Don’t allow it.
Let her know you won’t put up with it, and if things don’t change, then move on.
Prioritize consistency. Hold her accountable.
Make sure she’s reliable in her words and actions–and that a kind gesture is more than a one-time thing, just because she’s in a good mood.
You need and deserve more stability in your life.
6) She’s self-centered
Relationships should be about equality; about give and take.
When things get too one-sided, say, by your woman almost always prioritizing her needs and desires over yours, without hesitation or compassion, this ain’t gonna fly.
Without compromise, things won’t genuinely work out; you will never be truly happy.
So don’t enable bad behaviors, don’t enable double standards. Put your foot down.
Refusing to make compromises and constantly having it her way, or making important decisions unilaterally without your feedback, just isn’t cool.
Don’t put up with it.
7) She has minimal ambition or drive
You want to be with someone who inspires you to be better.
You want to be with someone who is independent and has their own life separate from you.
You want to be with someone who has concrete goals and motivation.
You don’t want to be with someone who is drifting through life, fiddling with her phone all day, every day, or binge-watching Netflix on a Tuesday afternoon while chowing down chicken tenders.
I’ve dated a girl like this; a girl who was so spoiled by her parents growing up, she had almost no ambition in life.
When she got excited about the prospect of doing something assertive, say applying for a job or starting a business, that lofty ambition would fade quickly, never to return.
Instead, she’d spend her days on the couch, chatting with friends online or watching YouTube–which was fine for a while, but as I grew, my values changed, while she remained stagnant.
The bottom line? If you prioritize going places in life, setting goals, and achieving them, pick a partner who is on the same page.
Final words
Now, I know that I may have been a bit harsh in this article at certain junctures.
But rest assured, the majority of women out there don’t veer to the aforementioned extremes.
Just be cautious, be sensible, and prioritize yourself and your level of happiness.
When you work on yourself, these things come automatically… and sooner or later, the ideal woman will come around.
You got this.
