Alexandra Plesa
It can be challenging to tell if someone is satisfied with their day-to-day existence.
Many people are good at putting up a front.
They act like everything is fine when, deep down, something feels off.
But they don’t want to bother someone else with their problems, so they keep their mouths shut.
Do you suspect that might be the case with a woman you’re close with?
It may be a partner, relative, colleague, or friend. It doesn’t matter.
If a woman displays these 7 behaviors, she’s probably deeply unhappy in life.
Perhaps you can lend a helping hand?
1) She doesn’t feel like getting out of bed
Whenever I experience a bout of unhappiness, everything becomes a chore.
Work. Social engagements. Mundane admin tasks.
There are days when I dread getting out of bed because there’s nothing I look forward to.
I lounge under the covers for minutes on end, trying to psych myself up to pour coffee down my throat and go through the motions.
While you’ll likely notice this behavior in someone you live with, like a partner, it can be tricky to spot it in a co-worker or friend.
Still, there are warning signs you can look out for:
- She starts to be late for work or brunch
- You text her in the morning, and she doesn’t reply until later in the day
- She looks less put together when you hang out before lunch
- She begins to miss important deadlines or ignore personal responsibilities
Frequent complaints about feeling tired can also signal that something is off, especially if you know the woman you’re concerned about is getting enough sleep.
A gentle inquiry about how many times she hits snooze on her alarm might be in order.
2) She isolates herself
Another common symptom of unhappiness is the tendency to isolate yourself.
When you’ve been down in the dumps for a while, putting on a brave face starts to feel exhausting.
Instead of going out and pretending that everything is fine, you would much rather stay in and revel in your misery without having to open up or explain yourself.
Plus, sometimes you feel like your grumpy mood will infect others and prevent them from having a good time around you, so you prefer to spare them.
If a woman suddenly begins to regularly cancel plans or avoid social interactions altogether, she’s probably deeply unhappy in life.
She’ll make excuses.
She’s having a bad hair day. She’s swamped. She needs to catch up on laundry.
Whatever you do, don’t stop reaching out.
Show her that you care about her enough to want to see her even after she repeatedly bails on your plans.
She may not immediately show it, but she’ll cherish you even more.
3) She craves (too much) social validation
At times, the opposite happens.
Rather than isolating herself, an unhappy woman might become more outgoing than usual.
Unfortunately, it’s for all the wrong reasons.
She’s not doing it because she wants to connect with others but because she craves social validation.
Similarly, she might post excessively on social media, go back on the dating apps she so loathes, or overshare her personal life online to see if others approve of her opinions and choices.
It’s easier to deny that you’re unhappy and convince yourself that everything is going well by basking in the attention of others than to accept reality and take responsibility for your life.
This is especially true if your life looks great from the outside.
On paper, you should be over the moon, but your gut tells you otherwise.
If you’re worried about a woman you care about, notice little changes in how she acts when she’s out and about.
Her behavior speaks volumes.
4) She neglects self-care
Neglecting self-care can be another sign that a woman is experiencing unhappiness or emotional distress.
Changes in physical appearance, for instance, can be reflective of a decline in self-esteem or motivation.
If your friend who always looks fabulous suddenly starts to show up to events disheveled, there’s likely a reason for that.
For me, a big sign I’m struggling is that I stop painting my nails.
They break easily, and I’m self-conscious about them, so I usually take the time to make them look somewhat presentable.
Whenever I’m going through an unhappy period, though, I no longer care that much about my appearance. Or, I simply can’t find the energy to give myself a manicure.
If my nails look bare and bitten, you know that I’m either stressed or dispirited.
That said, self-care doesn’t refer to appearance alone.
When a woman is unhappy, she may stop exercising, eat poorly, dismiss opportunities for personal growth, and develop unhealthy coping mechanisms.
The latter brings me to my next point.
5) She indulges in escapism
We all need a little escapism from time to time.
Getting lost in a good book, a captivating TV show, or an engaging video game is relaxing.
However, when you begin to rely exclusively on these types of activities to numb emotional pain, it’s likely because of an underlying issue you don’t want to confront head-on.
Instead of looking inward and figuring out how to improve your circumstances, you distract yourself in the hopes that the problem will go away on its own.
Spoiler alert: that’s highly unlikely.
Escapism isn’t solely related to consuming content.
An unhappy woman might cope with her misery by shopping excessively or resorting to substance abuse.
Ask your loved one how she has been spending her time lately.
If she admits that the bulk of her spare hours were devoted to binge-watching, drinking, or browsing online stores, there’s a good chance she isn’t satisfied with her current circumstances.
6) She loses interest in her hobbies
People change, so it’s normal to lose interest in certain hobbies as time goes by.
I used to be obsessed with awards shows like the Emmys and Oscars to the point where I always stayed up late to watch them. Now, I’m fine with watching clips the next day.
It’s not a big deal.
A big deal would be for me to stop reading.
Reading is how I relax. I love beautiful words and morally grey characters and fantasy worlds and non-fiction that moves you.
I love physical books and audiobooks and bookmarks and ebooks and book merch and BookTok.
In short, I identify as a reader. It’s part of who I am.
Yet, whenever I’m deeply unhappy with my life, I stop reading. It’s like I don’t want to associate such a pleasant activity with such a dreadful period of time.
Additionally, reading requires focus.
When I’m unhappy, I spend copious amounts of energy processing my negative feelings, brainstorming ways to get out of my slump, and forcing myself to comply with my various adult responsibilities.
There’s little brain power left for hobbies, and it’s easier to put on a sitcom I’ve already seen to unwind than to pick up a book.
On that note, have you noticed any changes in how the woman you’re worried about spends her free time?
Perhaps she loves hiking but hasn’t bugged you to go on a hike in ages.
She enjoys traveling but hasn’t been on any trips in months.
She loves to cook but has been ordering an alarming amount of takeout lately.
You get the idea.
7) She becomes easily irritable
As I mentioned above, processing unhappiness takes a lot of energy.
It leaves you drained, which means you have less patience than usual.
This can cause you to become irritable and snap when experiencing the slightest inconvenience. The inconvenience happens to be the last straw.
The downside is that you often take out your frustration on people who don’t deserve it – something that only makes you more miserable.
If you’re worried about a woman in your life being unhappy, think back on how she’s been handling her emotions.
Signs that she’s more irritable than usual include:
- Expressing impatience with delays or slow-paced activities
- Having a short temper and getting upset over daily annoyances
- Exhibiting restlessness, fidgeting, or pacing
- Becoming passive-aggressive out of the blue
- Being more sensitive to external stimuli like loud noises or interruptions
- Incessantly venting about the many indignities of life
- Complaining about headaches, muscle tension, or digestive issues
She might not be open about her pain, but the evidence is in plain sight.
Bottom line
If the signs above apply to a woman you care about, take action.
Supporting a loved one who is unhappy requires a combination of empathy, active listening, and encouragement.
Do your best to create a safe and non-judgmental space for the struggling woman in your life to share what she’s going through.
Acknowledge her emotions, tell her you’re around if she needs help, and suggest she seek professional assistance if needed.
It’s hard to fight your demons alone.
Simply knowing that someone is thinking about you can be enough to make a difference.
