Tina Fey
It isn’t easy to figure out if a woman has low self-worth or not.
That’s because self-worth is something you have inside you, and it’s not always obvious from external signs.
By this I mean, a woman who seems like she has it all can still have abysmal self-worth, while a seemingly “ordinary” woman might have high self-worth.
That’s why it’s important to pay close attention to the way someone acts (for a long period of time), rather than simply taking note of surface impressions.
If you’re curious to know if the woman in your life has low self-worth, here are the telltale signs you should look out for:
1) She needs a lot to feel loved
If you want to make her feel loved, it’s not enough that you cook her favorite meal on her birthday. You have to go the extra mile and do grand gestures like throwing her a surprise party or writing a poem.
And, of course, she isn’t content with a couple of “I miss you” messages a day. She wants you to shower her with messages every other minute and meet her after work no matter how impossible it is for you.
And It’s not just with you—she always complains about how her friends and family never put in much effort.
She measures her worth based on how others treat her, and because of that, she needs constant and consistent affirmation from the people around her.
If she’s not given the attention and love she feels she deserves, she takes it to mean that she’s not worthy of love.
2) She tries to be the best person you’ve ever met
She’s not content with simply being a nice person.
She wants to be the best person that one could ever be—be it as a partner, a sister, a mother, or a friend.
This again springs from her need to feel seen and loved.
If she’s in a relationship, she’ll learn what his partner’s ideal woman is and transform herself into that person. If she’s your friend, then she’ll go above and beyond to be your BFF.
Hell, she might even loathe fish, but she’ll cook it every day if she learns that the people around her love it.
It’s sad to see how much people-pleasing she’s willing to do. She rarely prioritizes her own happiness because she doesn’t feel like she deserves it.
3) She’s way too curious about the exes
Most of us are going to have exes. And despite the occasional lingering feeling, most of us understand that exes are exes for a good reason and leave it at that.
But a woman who has poor self-worth will get obsessive about exes.
She’ll see herself as being in eternal competition with those other women… and of course, she wants to make sure she measures up!
Are they prettier than her? Are they smarter? Are they more fun to be with? Does her man love any of his exes more than her?
She might even stalk each one of the exes on social media just to know.
Meanwhile, a self-assured woman knows she has nothing to fear.
She knows she’s more than good enough all on her own and, to her, dating is about figuring out if she’s compatible with someone or not. She has no reason to care about exes.
4) She takes everything personally
A woman with poor self-worth will feel like she’s always under attack.
In fact, you could swear that it’s almost like she’s waiting for people to say something offensive so she can finally say “See, they really want to attack me!”
If she burnt an egg and you tried to joke about how she should never be left alone in the kitchen, she’d grumble about it for days to come.
In fact, even if you tell her in the gentlest way possible, she will still get hurt. It doesn’t matter how much she needs that criticism—she’ll shut her ears off the moment someone says anything “negative” towards her.
You might be giving her genuine advice and encouragement, but the only thing she hears is that she’s not good enough.
5) She questions people’s intentions
She doesn’t believe that people can actually be genuinely kind with no strings attached.
So if someone treats her nicely, she’ll believe it’s too good to be true and that they obviously have some kind of ulterior motive.
So if a nice-looking guy shows interest in her she’ll stop and wonder if she’s being set up or pranked.
She can’t even take a compliment, because the moment someone does exactly that, she’ll start wondering what they’re really up to.
She’s like this because she doesn’t think she’s worth any attention or praise at all.
6) She isn’t comfortable around “high value” people
She’s perfectly comfortable—maybe even a little arrogant—when she’s around people who she thinks are “her league” or are below her.
But the moment she’s with someone who she thinks is miles above her, she just can’t stay still. She’ll break into a sweat, fidget, and look like she’s ready to scram at a moment’s notice.
That person might not be judging her at all, but that doesn’t matter—she will feel like she’s being scrutinized from head to toe regardless.
It’s all in her head because she has a problem with her self-worth.
7) She looks down on other women
A woman with low self-worth spends a lot of time comparing herself to other women.
And when she finds someone who’s “below” her, she’ll take great joy in tearing them apart.
She’d judge them on how they keep making poor choices, that they’re too “feminine”, or “too independent”, or that they’re “too boy-crazy” or “too ambitious”.
She enjoys doing it because it makes her feel more confident in herself.
Of course, only women with low self-worth find pleasure in this.
8) She takes the blame
She could catch her boyfriend cheating on her and she’ll still find a way to justify his actions and make it HER FAULT.
She’ll say that it’s maybe because she wasn’t affectionate enough, or maybe she was too independent and busy.
And when her friends stop contacting her, she’ll automatically think she did something bad or she’s not good enough. Why else would they go no contact?
She wouldn’t even pause to think “What’s wrong with them?” because she’s so focused on what’s wrong with her.
It doesn’t matter that she’s not at fault here at all. Women with poor self-worth will automatically assume that they’re at fault.
9) She allows people to disrespect her
When other people don’t treat her right, she won’t budge. She might even keep on being nice and polite for their sake.
She might be hurt, sure, but she’s not going to be “dramatic” or “make a big deal” out of it.
She’s too concerned that confronting people and demanding respect will only make her feel like she’s being entitled—that she’s the kind who thinks of themself as special.
“Who do I think I am, anyway?” she might tell herself. “I don’t want to act like I’m a princess”.
She doesn’t know how to assert herself because she’d rather be liked than push people further away by being “demanding” and “disagreeable”.
10) She’s scared of being alone
She hates being single.
And it’s not because she craves companionship (nothing wrong with that, btw) or that she likes being in love.
It’s more because she doesn’t want to feel like a “low value” woman that men don’t want to pursue.
She feels like she’s ugly and unlovable if she’s not dating anyone and not getting her daily dose of affirmation and praise.
Women with high self-worth won’t ever feel this way. They won’t think they have a flaw if they’re single. They love who they are despite their relationship status.
11) She gets insulted when she’s not acknowledged and praised
A woman with low self-worth is understandably addicted to praise.
And when she doesn’t get the recognition, the attention, and the message that says “thank you so much, you’re the best!”, she’d pout hard.
She’d connect it to her worth and think “How can they treat me this way? Am I really just a NOBODY?!!”
She’d get very hurt without people knowing the exact reasons why.
It’s silly (sad, really) to think that she’d end her relationships just because she didn’t get the praise she thinks she deserves. But that’s just how a person with low self-worth is.
Final thoughts
Having low self-worth isn’t a major flaw. After all, we’re all insecure in some areas and no one has a 100% healthy self-worth.
So if you recognize these traits in a woman you know (or even yourself!), be gentle and compassionate.
Trust me—they don’t like it that they have low self-worth, either.
Instead of dismissing them and shouting “You’re awful because you have low self-worth!”, be patient. And if you can, make them feel more secure of themselves by showing them kind gestures and expressing to them how much you value them.
Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.
