Lucas Graham
Have you ever wondered if someone secretly dislikes you but hides it behind subtle actions?
When it comes to narcissists, their dislike isn’t always obvious—but their behavior often gives them away.
From calculated coldness to subtle manipulations, narcissists have distinct ways of expressing their disapproval.
In this article, I’ll be outlining seven telling behaviors they often display when they don’t like someone.
Before we get started, keep in mind that it’s not you—it’s them—so let’s dive in, shall we?
1) Passive-aggressive behavior
One of the classic signs of a narcissist who doesn’t like you is their tendency to be passive-aggressive.
Narcissists are notoriously bad at handling criticism or perceived slights.
Instead of addressing the issue directly, they may resort to subtle, indirect methods of expressing their discontent.
This could manifest in a variety of ways, such as backhanded compliments, sarcasm, or withholding affection; they may also deliberately make decisions that they know will irritate you, and then act innocent when confronted.
While it’s always important to give people the benefit of the doubt, consistent passive-aggressive behavior is often a sign you’re dealing with a narcissist who doesn’t like you.
It’s their unique way of expressing displeasure without taking responsibility for their actions.
2) Constant criticism
Let me tell you about something I experienced personally: I once had a friend named Alex, who, looking back, was quite the narcissist.
Whenever we were together, he would nitpick everything I did—from the way I dressed to the way I talked, nothing seemed to be good enough for him.
At first, I thought he was just trying to help me improve.
But, as time went on, I realized that his criticisms were less about me and more about making himself feel superior; he always needed to be the smartest person in the room and by putting me down, he could maintain that illusion.
Criticism can be healthy when it’s constructive and meant to help us grow—it’s only wrong when it ranges from petty to belittling.
3) Gaslighting
‘Gaslighting‘ is a term that originates from a 1938 play called “Gas Light”, where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane.
Today, the term is used to describe psychological manipulation where a person seeks to make others doubt their own perceptions and memories.
In the context of narcissism, gaslighting often comes into play when a narcissist doesn’t like you by challenging your memory of events, making you question yourself or even your sanity.
For instance, they might insist an argument never happened, or they could accuse you of being “too sensitive” when you express hurt feelings.
By doing this, they aim to maintain control and keep you off balance.
4) Being the center of attention
As we all know, narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and crave the spotlight.
Let’s say you’re discussing a tough day at work: Instead of offering empathy or advice, the narcissist might redirect the conversation to their own work woes.
You can even expect them to try and one-up your story with a tale of their own hardship.
In essence, they use your struggles as a launchpad for their own self-centered monologue.
This tactic both deflects attention away from you and feeds their need for validation and admiration.
It’s a narcissist’s way of keeping you in a subordinate position while they remain at center stage.
5) Exclusion
Exclusion is a powerful tool in the narcissist’s arsenal, especially when they don’t like you, excluding you from social events, conversations, or decision-making processes.
I remember a time when I was left out of a group trip planned by someone in my social circle.
I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t been invited until I realized that the person organizing the trip had shown several narcissistic traits as it was a clear attempt to isolate me and assert their dominance over the group dynamics.
Exclusion can be hurtful and confusing, especially when you don’t fully understand why it’s happening.
6) Playing the victim
Another behavior to watch for when a narcissist doesn’t like you is their propensity to play the victim.
This is a deflection technique used to maintain control and garner sympathy.
Once you confront a narcissist about their behavior, they might twist the story around so that they appear as the wronged party.
Suddenly, they’re not the ones who did something hurtful—you are!
This tactic serves a dual purpose as it allows the narcissist to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, and it puts you on the defensive.
Playing the victim is an effective way for them to manipulate the narrative and keep you feeling off-balance.
7) Dismissing people’s feelings
Narcissists lack empathy, which means they struggle to understand or share the feelings of others.
They may tell you that you’re overreacting, or they might ignore your feelings altogether—in their eyes, only their feelings, thoughts, and perspectives have value.
Of course, this can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and mental health.
Always remember that your feelings are valid and important, no matter what a narcissist might say.
Wrapping up: It’s about self-awareness
Understanding narcissism requires exploring psychology’s depths.
Narcissists often project insecurities onto others through behaviors like passive aggression, criticism, gaslighting, exclusion, victim-playing, and dismissiveness.
Recognizing these signs helps protect you from manipulation.
Rather than seeking their approval, focus on your worth and emotional well-being.
Prioritize self-awareness and self-care, as understanding others begins with understanding yourself.
