If a man uses these 13 phrases in a conversation, he lacks respect for you

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You’ve been told that you’re “too sensitive” or “too dramatic”.

That’s why you tend to gaslight yourself when you suspect a man is being rude to you.

You tell yourself “Maybe that’s just how he talks” or “Maybe he’s just being playful and funny.”

Sometimes, you even say “Maybe you actually deserve it.”

Well, it’s time to see them for who they truly are so you can stop giving excuses for bad behavior.

If a man uses these 13 phrases in a conversation, he lacks respect for you.

1) “Is that so, Ms. Smarty Pants?”

Even if said as a joke, this is a sign that a man doesn’t respect you enough.

It’s basically him telling you to shut up because you are a “noisy, opinionated woman”.

Men don’t say the same thing to other men even if they sometimes say the stupidest things. 

If a man says this to you, especially in front of others, he lacks respect for you (and it’s probably because he’s intimidated by you).

He’s probably threatened by your intelligence and by saying this line, he wants others to see he’s more superior than you.

2) “Let’s not get so dramatic.”

You expressed your genuine frustration or anger or resentment…

He just shrugged and said “There, there. Let’s not get so dramatic” as if you’re just a kid who’s throwing a tantrum in the playground.

If a man says this phrase to you, it means he doesn’t respect how you feel.

Perhaps he even sees you as just a “hormonal drama queen” everytime you voice out a legit concern.

A man who respects you would never dismiss your feelings—especially if he knows you’re a highly sensitive person

In fact, he’d be very glad to hear them so he would know how to make things better for both of you.

3) “Hey, sexy.”

While this is cute if it’s coming from your boyfriend, it’s infuriating if it’s said by other men.

It’s derogatory and it’s a way of showing dominance.

Men know that if you fight back, they can just say it again and again because you can’t do anything about it anyway.

Well, do something about it!

If this happens in the workplace, report them to HR.

If this happens near where you live, report them to the police.

If they’re someone you know, you definitely should call them. They will tell you “it’s not a big deal”. Well then, show them that it is.

4) “Are you even thinking?”

For some reason, women are seen as the dumber sex. 

We’re called names such as “bimbo” or “Barbie” or “dumb blonde” and many other pejorative terms.

When a man asks you this question, he’s basically asking “are you dumb?” without actually saying the D word.

So if a man says this to you, and he says it often, he definitely lacks respect for you.

A respectful man would simply say “I get your point, but…” or “Are you sure about that?” if he disagrees with your ideas.

Questioning if you’re even thinking is just not the nicest thing to say to anyone. 

So yes, if you get offended when someone says this to you, you’re not being emotional, they’re being disrespectful. 

5) “I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

If you express an idea—whether it’s about a big project or what brand of shampoo to buy—a man who lacks respect for you would say this line.

While this is obvious when said in a harsh tone, it gets confusing if they say it in a very calm or playful or passive-aggressive manner.

It can make you wonder “Wait, did they just disrespect me or am I just too serious?”

Again, it’s another way to shut you up—to “put you in your place”.

And if you keep hanging around with this kind of man, you’ll slowly learn to doubt yourself, too.

6) “I don’t want to body shame you, but…”

They might act nice to you. They might even give you gifts.

But they just can’t help but express their opinions about you…especially about your body.

People like this are disrespectful to who you are as a person.

And by telling you “I don’t want to shame you but…”, they’re basically NOT giving you any reason to complain or get offended. 

After all, they just want to “help” you. It’s “not their intention” to offend.

Well, here’s something you should know: You don’t have to hear their opinions. 

You can just tell them to shut up because they don’t have any right to say anything about your life and your body.

7) “I don’t want to be that guy, but…”

Again, another “I don’t want to be an asshole but I will be an asshole anyway.”

Don’t fall for this.

It’s very disrespectful especially if they throw harsh insults and criticisms your way because they tell you that’s how they “care”.

They’ll say things like:

“I don’t want to be that guy, but I think you’re single because you’re fat.”

“I don’t want to be that guy, but you’re not really that smart, you know? You should not pursue engineering.”

They think by saying “I don’t want to be that guy”, they’re allowed to say anything. But they’re actually using it as an excuse to attack your self-esteem.

8) “Yeah, yeah, feminism. LOL”

Have you ever met these men who think women are just attention-seekers? That women are angry at everything? That feminists are annoying?

They even say things like “Ugh, stop being such a feminazi” when you just try to tell them it’s wrong to ogle at random girls in the street.

Well, if they do that when you start asserting your rights or speaking up, then they clearly have no respect for you (and probably to all other women, too).

A man who knows how to respect people would encourage women to voice out their concerns and not make fun of them for doing so.

9) “Don’t be such a pussy.”

If you’re scared of something, a man who lacks respect for you will NOT comfort you. He won’t try to make sure you’re alright.

Instead, he gets impatient and says “Oh come on. Don’t be such a pussy!”

He would never pause and try to understand your fears.

He might even think your fears are just because you’re a woman—you’re too “girly”, you’re too “soft”, you’re “being such a princess!”

And he wants you to snap out of it and well, “act like a man.”

10) “Blah, blah, blah…”

Again, another statement that aims to make you feel bad just expressing your thoughts.

A colleague once did this to me and it was the most infuriating thing ever!

I was trying my best to express my opinions about our work in the nicest way possible. And when I was so passionate about it, he mumbled “blah blah blah.”

How disrespectful and how immature!

I bet he’d not do that to a man. 

I stopped talking to him after that incident because I can’t respect a man who doesn’t know how to respect women—especially when they’re just trying to express their opinions.

11) “Do I have to repeat everything I say?!”

If you didn’t hear them or if you didn’t understand what they said, of course you’d ask them to repeat what they say.

But they’d get impatient and say  “Do I have to repeat everything I say?”

Again, they’re treating you like you’re some dumb person whose brain works like an old computer.

But aside from that, THEY feel disrespected that someone like YOU is not listening to them! 

You know they won’t say this line to people they respect even if those people would ask them to repeat what they said five times.

12) “I’m not sure I can trust you with that…”

You volunteer to do something, but they’ll say this line.

You didn’t even do anything in the past that could make them doubt your abilities. In fact, you rarely commit major mistakes!

But then, probably because they lack respect for you (and for women in general), they don’t think you’re good enough for the job.

13) “Ahh yes, women.”

You check your Instagram for a second, and he’d get all judgmental and say “Ah yes, women.”

As if you’re just superficial and stupid.

You get emotional, you’re late for five minutes, you complain about something legit…

“Ah yes, women.”

And he’d roll their eyes and scoff if you try to explain yourself.

Men who look down on people because of their gender, color, culture, and social background will always sputter this sort of nonsense.

And while they may seem harmless, it reflects how little respect they have for you.

Final thoughts

If you hear all of these phrases from one man, then it’s clear as day: he’s 100% being disrespectful to you.

If you can’t cut him off from your life completely (yet)—say, he’s your father or your boss– try to limit contact as much as possible.

Then find a way to slowly escape from their claws.

You don’t have to put up with disrespect from anyone—especially from men who look down on women.

Rediscover your worth and promise yourself that from now on, you won’t be around people who don’t know how to treat you right.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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