Paul Brian
An overly nice and polite man tends to be a turn-off for women, but that doesn’t mean that a total jerk is attractive.
True, many women are attracted to a man who speaks his mind and isn’t trying to please her, but a truly rude and disrespectful guy repulses those he crosses paths with.
As Hannah Orenstein and Kathryn Jones note:
“You’ve been there: you’re talking to a guy, everything is normal, and suddenly, boom.
He says something so preposterously rude, creepy, or randomly sexual that your brain actually short-circuits.”
Not cool!
Here are some of the phrases a classless guy uses in conversation. These and similar turns of phrase are the hallmarks of a guy who thinks he’s got game but is totally clueless.
These kinds of rude and low-class comments reveal an insecure, bitter guy that you’re better off staying far away from.
Let’s get started…
1) “What’s your body count?”
The term “body count” has entered the slang dictionary the past few years and it’s disgusting.
It means how many people somebody has had sex with and is sometimes asked by social media influencers and other personalities.
Even as a joke it’s just the most cringeworthy and class-less way to ask about somebody’s intimate history.
If a guy says or asks something involving “body count” he’s either a low class frat bro type or he’s pretending to be because he thinks you’ll find it funny or appealing in some way.
Either way, avoid.
2) “Damn girl, I wanna hit that”
Terms involving “hitting that” and similar phrases don’t exactly scream sophistication.
If a guy uses terms like this around his male buddies or around you, he’s got a lot to learn about basic decency and class.
Men who respect women (and themselves) don’t refer to the sex act as “hitting that” even as a joke. It’s not even about morals or decency.
It just sounds revolting and low-class.
3) “I don’t like women who…”
Who asked him?
Plus, even if you did ask what type of women he’s attracted to, he’s immediately focusing on what he doesn’t like.
Bad sign, to be quite frank.
There are plenty of guys who aren’t bitter, and you’re much better off spending time with one of them.
4) “You were probably super hot when you were younger”
This phrase has all sorts of layers of creepy going on.
First of all, how much younger is he talking about?
Secondly, this is implying that you’re not hot anymore and very appearance-focused.
It’s just not the kind of thing that a sophisticated guy would say, and it indicates he’s a critical and judgmental person who is looking to make you insecure and get a rise out of you by “negging” you.
Hard pass.
5) “You’re pretty fine for a …”`
This statement usually precedes some kind of demographic or ethnic prejudice of some kind.
It’s hard to believe that guys still talk like this in 2023, but some certainly do.
It’s often disguised as a joke, too, something like “you’re pretty hot for a philosophy major.”
OK, and…? Are you supposed to be impressed or interested that he considers you good looking?
This brings me to the next point…
6) “You’re a 7 max”
Men who use numbers to describe the attractiveness of a woman are stuck in a juvenile, high-school mindset of the most toxic type.
If he says it to you he’s a clueless jerk; if he says it to other guys he’s got some serious misogyny issues going on.
This is a deranged frat bro mentality on steroids and there’s no real way to respect a man who talks about a woman being a “9” or a “hard 8” (whatever that means).
The issue isn’t just the objectification, it’s the supposed comical authoritativeness in deciding what somebody rates on a scale of attractiveness.
Have fun rating porn stars, guys.
7) “Why do I always attract girls like you?”
This is a terrible thing to say, but guys will definitely do it, especially when problems crop up in the first few weeks or months of dating.
Everybody has some baggage, and relationships require empathy and some understanding.
But the kind of guy who reacts to hearing about your problems or past by saying this is not ready for an adult relationship and he doesn’t deserve your time.
Simple as that.
8) “You look different than your photos”
This may be true, and nobody likes to go out with somebody who puts intentionally misleading photos of themselves online.
At the same time, it’s just not the right thing to say to a person.
If a guy feels you were deceptive in how you present yourself online it’s the kind of thing to keep to himself when he politely declines to contact you for a second date.
9) “You wouldn’t get it”
Guys who use this phrase are beset by two sub-optimal qualities:
Arrogance and self-pity.
It’s a toxic brew.
When a guy let’s you know that you won’t get it, the only reason to say so is to show off or to invite pity. If you really won’t understand something about a topic or issue he’s discussing then he can avoid mentioning it in the first place.
Just something to keep in mind.
10) “Does that work with most guys?”
This is the kind of pretentious thing a guy learned from some pickup artist or too many Andrew Tate compilations on YouTube.
It makes him sound silly and arrogant, but he’s hoping that some insecurity in you will be triggered by it.
In certain contexts this can be funny if delivered in a semi-sarcastic way, granted, but generally speaking it’s a throwaway comment that’s just a lure to get women to feel insecure.
11) “I shouldn’t have missed UFC for this.”
Bad dates happen and it’s fair enough for a man to get frustrated.
But this double whammy referring to UFC and referring to wasting his time going out is quite weak.
If the date really is so bad, then he’d better leave or just grin and bear it.
Making some lame putdown about how he’d rather be with the bros watching grown men roll around in each other’s sweat is just a low-class thing to say.
12) “Good thing I’m not very into tall women”
So you’re not all that tall?
Worse things have happened.
Guys who try to neg you on your height are insecure creatures without any real charisma or charm.
If all he can say revolves around his opinion of your height then there’s no reason to take an interest in him.
13) “Maybe you should order a smaller meal”
Guys who joke about a woman’s weight are trash.
I’m not saying weight doesn’t matter, because we all know it does matter for both health and – to some degree – for attractiveness.
But you don’t say this kind of thing to a woman no matter how well you know her or how long you’ve been going out.
It’s hurtful, shallow and cruel.
14) “Monogamy is totally oppressive”
This is the kind of thing a man often says in order to get some action on the sides.
Sometimes it is just his honest opinion, in which case fair enough.
But the loaded term “oppressive” is a little suspect here. I’m pretty sure nobody is forcing him to get married, and preempting any hopes you may have of monogamy by saying this can be a bit hurtful.
15) “I changed my mind. Let’s just be friends”
People’s emotions do change, fair enough.
But the kind of guy who whips out this statement is usually a player with the type of mentality you’re best off avoiding.
This is especially the case if he drops this kind of decision after you’ve hooked up and he’s had his fun with you. How convenient.
