Ethan Sterling
My grandfather used to share a nugget of wisdom with me: “Son, the key to winning people over is in the words you choose.”
He was a man who could strike up a conversation with just about anyone and leave them smiling.
Now, why am I telling you this?
You see, not everyone is a natural conversationalist. Some of us struggle to hold engaging, meaningful conversations. If that’s you, don’t fret – it’s not a lack of social skills, per se.
It could simply be that you’re not utilizing certain phrases that can turn your conversations around, making them more engaging and impactful.
Intrigued?
Well, let’s dive right in then. Here are 7 phrases that – if used by a man in a conversation – are indicative of exceptionally good social skills.
Let’s get the ball rolling, shall we?
1) “Tell me more about that”
“Tell me more about that.”
Now, you might be thinking, what’s so special about this phrase? It’s just asking someone to continue talking.
But here’s the thing.
It’s more than just a polite request. By using this phrase, you’re showing genuine interest in what the other person is saying. You’re telling them that their thoughts and experiences matter to you.
And that’s powerful.
People gravitate towards those who make them feel valued and heard. By encouraging them to share more, you’re not only keeping the conversation flowing but also building a stronger connection.
2) “I understand where you’re coming from”
“I understand where you’re coming from.”
This phrase has been a game-changer for me in many conversations.
Here’s why.
A few years ago, I found myself in a heated discussion with a friend about a political issue. We had different opinions, and the conversation was heading down a confrontational path.
Then I remembered this phrase.
I said to my friend, “I understand where you’re coming from.” Even though we didn’t see eye to eye, acknowledging his viewpoint changed the entire tone of our conversation.
It showed him that I respected his perspective, even if I didn’t agree with it. Instead of arguing, we started having a productive discussion about our differing viewpoints.
By saying “I understand where you’re coming from,” you’re validating the other person’s feelings and experiences. It’s a way to show empathy and respect for their viewpoint, which can help diffuse tension and foster open, honest communication.
3) “I appreciate your honesty”
“I appreciate your honesty.”
Now, let’s talk about this phrase.
It’s not always easy to hear the truth, especially when it’s not what we want to hear. But sometimes, people need to share their truth, and it might not be all rainbows and butterflies.
That’s when this phrase comes in.
A couple of years back, a colleague gave me some constructive criticism. To be honest, it stung a bit. My first impulse was to get defensive, maybe even a tad hostile.
But I took a deep breath and said: “I appreciate your honesty.”
This simple acknowledgment did two things. First, it showed him that I valued his opinion. Second, it allowed me to take a step back and reflect on the feedback instead of reacting impulsively.
4) “That’s a good point”
“That’s a good point.”
Such a simple phrase, right? But oh, the impact it can have!
Here’s the thing.
Everyone wants to be acknowledged. We want our ideas to be recognized and appreciated. When someone says, “That’s a good point,” it validates our thoughts, making us feel heard and understood.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a casual chat or a high-stakes business meeting. When you use this phrase, you’re fostering positivity and encouraging further conversation.
Authenticity is key.
5) “I never thought about it that way”
“I never thought about it that way.”
Now, why is this phrase so valuable?
Research has shown that when we admit we hadn’t considered a perspective, it signals intellectual humility. And guess what?
People are generally more drawn to those who display this trait as opposed to those who appear to know it all.
By using this phrase, you’re telling the other person that they’ve given you a new perspective to think about. It shows that you’re open-minded and willing to learn from others.
6) “How can I support you?”
“How can I support you?”
This phrase, my friends, is a big one.
In our busy lives, we often forget that sometimes, all a person needs is a little bit of support. It could be a friend going through a breakup, a colleague struggling with a project, or a family member dealing with health issues.
By asking “How can I support you?” you’re offering more than just help. You’re offering compassion, understanding, and empathy. You’re telling them that they’re not alone and that you’re there for them.
And let me tell you, it makes a difference.
I once asked this question to a friend who was going through a tough time. I could see the relief in his eyes. He knew he had someone to lean on, and that meant the world to him.
7) “Thank you for sharing that with me”
“Thank you for sharing that with me.”
It’s simple yet powerful. When someone opens up to you, whether it’s about their fears, dreams, or experiences, they’re showing you a piece of their world.
By saying “Thank you for sharing that with me,” you’re acknowledging their trust in you. You’re recognizing the courage it took for them to share something personal.
It’s these moments of genuine connection that truly embody exceptional social skills.
So the next time someone shares a piece of their world with you, don’t forget to express your gratitude. It will go a long way in strengthening your bond with them.
Wrapping it up
There you have it. These 7 phrases could be the secret to enhancing your social skills and forming deeper connections.
But it’s not just about the words you use. It’s about sincerity and authenticity. It’s about genuinely wanting to understand and connect with others.
It’s not about perfection or becoming someone else. It’s about being the best version of yourself in your interactions.
Don’t stress if you can’t incorporate all these phrases right away. Start small. Choose one or two phrases and practice using them in your conversations.
Reflect on the changes in your interactions. Do they feel more meaningful? Do people seem more engaged?
And most importantly, do you feel more connected?
Social skills are just that – skills. And like any other skill, they can be honed and improved with practice and patience.
