Lucas Graham
Do you know a man who always seems to twist things their way? The smooth talker who can turn any situation to their advantage?
Well, sometimes these sweet talkers are not as innocent as they seem. They use their words as tools to control and manipulate.
Recognizing such people is crucial. They can sway you into decisions you might regret or make you question your own thoughts.
So, how can you spot them? It all lies in what they say.
Manipulators have a cheat sheet of phrases they use frequently. Today, we’re exposing these phrases.
Here are 10 phrases that if a man uses often, could mean he’s a manipulator and not to be trusted.
1. “You’re just overreacting”
It’s one of the most common phrases you’ll hear from a manipulator. They use this to make you doubt yourself and your feelings.
If you’re upset about something they’ve done, they’ll tell you that you’re overreacting instead of addressing the issue. This way, they shift the blame onto you and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
The effect? You start questioning your reactions and feelings, giving them more control over the situation.
2. “I never said that”
This is a classic move by manipulators, often used to make you doubt your memory or understanding.
You might have a clear recollection of them promising or saying something, but when confronted, they deny it ever happened. This sort of ‘gaslighting’ is a manipulative tactic to destabilize your perception of reality and make you more dependent on their version of events.
By doing this, they maintain control and keep you off-balance.
3. “You’re being too sensitive”
This phrase is another favorite of manipulators. I remember a time when a friend kept canceling plans at the last minute. When I confronted him about how it was affecting me, he said, “You’re being too sensitive.”
His goal? To make me feel like my feelings weren’t valid. To make me believe that I was overreacting over something that shouldn’t bother me. He was trying to deflect the blame and avoid taking responsibility for his actions.
By making me question my feelings, he was attempting to gain the upper hand and control the situation.
4. “Everyone else agrees with me”
Manipulators often use the tactic of ‘groupthink’ to convince you that your opinion or perspective is wrong. They’ll insist that everyone else agrees with them, even if it’s not true. This is a psychological trick designed to pressure you into conforming and doubting your own viewpoint.
Did you know that this tactic is so widely used that it has its own term in psychology? It’s called the ‘bandwagon effect‘, where people tend to align their beliefs and behaviors with those of a group.
It’s a powerful tool in a manipulator’s arsenal, exploiting our natural desire to fit in and be part of the majority.
5. “I did this all for you”
This phrase can sound so sincere, so heartfelt. Manipulators use it to make you feel guilty or indebted to them. They present their actions as sacrifices made out of love or concern for you. But in reality, they’re often manipulating situations to serve their own interests.
It’s a cruel tactic because it plays on your emotions. It can make you feel like you owe them something, creating a sense of obligation. This imbalance is exactly what the manipulator wants – it gives them control and power over you.
Remember, true acts of kindness don’t come with strings attached.
6. “Can’t you take a joke?”
I’ll never forget the time when a colleague of mine made a hurtful comment about my presentation skills in a team meeting. When I expressed my discomfort later, he shrugged it off saying, “Can’t you take a joke?”
This phrase is often used by manipulators to disguise their offensive words as humor. If you get upset, they turn it around on you, making it seem like you’re the one with the problem. It’s a clever way for them to evade responsibility for their actions and to belittle your feelings. It made me question my own reaction, giving him control over the narrative.
Beware of this tactic in disguise!
7. “You always…”/ “You never…”
Here’s the raw truth – no one always or never does anything. These absolute terms are used by manipulators to make you feel like you’re constantly in the wrong.
“You never listen to me.” “You always forget important dates.” Sound familiar?
These phrases are a trap. They’re exaggerated and unfair, designed to put you on the defensive. They make you feel guilty and flawed, pushing you to try harder to please them or to avoid their criticism. It’s a dirty game of control and power that manipulators play.
But don’t let them manipulate your self-perception – nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes.
8. “Trust me, it’s for your own good”
Manipulators often use this phrase to coerce you into doing what they want, under the guise of having your best interests at heart. It’s a cunning way to make you feel like they know better than you do about what’s right for you.
Here’s an interesting fact – this tactic is often used in propaganda and advertising. By convincing you that a certain action or product is ‘for your own good,’ manipulators can persuade you to act in a way that serves their interests, while making you believe it’s beneficial for you.
9. “I’m only trying to help”
I remember a time when an acquaintance constantly offered unsolicited advice about my career choices. Each time I’d resist his suggestions, he’d say, “I’m only trying to help.”
Manipulators often use this phrase as a cover for their controlling behavior. They may make you feel like your decisions are wrong and their advice is the only right way forward. This gives them a sense of control over your actions and decisions. While it’s disguised as concern, it’s really about maintaining power.
Beware of those who ‘help’ you without asking if you want it or need it.
10. “If you really cared about me, you would…”
The raw truth is, manipulators often use emotional blackmail to get their way. This phrase is a prime example of that. They’ll make you feel guilty for not meeting their expectations or demands, implying that your actions determine your feelings for them.
“If you really cared about me, you would quit your job.” “If you loved me, you wouldn’t hang out with them.” These are manipulative statements designed to control your actions by playing on your emotions.
Remember, it’s not fair or healthy for someone to constantly test your feelings or demand proof of your love. Real love and care don’t come with conditions attached.
Conclusion
These are just a handful of the phrases manipulators use to control and exploit others.
If a man regularly uses these phrases, it’s a warning sign that he might be a manipulator.
Remember, it’s always okay to stand up for yourself and challenge these tactics. Trust your instincts, maintain your boundaries, and don’t let anyone belittle or invalidate your feelings.
