If a man truly respects you, he’ll never do these 8 things in public

Thanks to Aretha Franklin, we all know how to spell the word respect, but do we know how to recognize it in our daily lives?

Respect is a pretty clear concept. It’s the recognition that another person exists and has feelings and thoughts that you should pay attention to and take into account.

In relationships, respect should always be a two-way street. 

When one partner feels like they’re not respected, they can feel insecure and end up losing self-esteem. Either that or they can start to feel resentful that their value is not being seen.

Either way, disrespect can spell the end of a relationship in no time flat.

So how can you tell if your man respects you?

In private, he might act with care and consideration, but is it another story when you go out into the wide world?

If a man truly respects you, he’ll never do these eight things in public where your image can be tarnished or permanently damaged.

1) Talk to you disrespectfully

Respectful treatment is more than a bit subjective.

What I find perfectly fine, you might find disrespectful, and vice versa.

But within your relationship, you should be able to figure out really what your partner thinks is respectful and what isn’t.

Once that’s established, but he still talks to you disrespectfully, it doesn’t bode well.

But if a man speaks to you respectfully all the time, at least in a way that you feel is respectful (we all have our own styles), then it’s pretty clear that he respects you.

If he’s only respectful when you’re alone but he talks down to you in public, though, he’s not giving you the respect you deserve.

2) Degrade or insult you

Talking to you respectfully might be as simple as minding his P’s and Q’s.

But another thing a man will never do to you in public, or in private for that matter, is degrade or insult you.

I’m talking about really harsh language here – calling you worthless or stupid or telling you that you can’t do anything right.

This behavior is never acceptable, and it’s something you should never let anyone do to you.

Now, there are exceptions, but they have to be agreed upon. You might have little jokes and games you use to tease each other, and that could include some words that other people might find surprising or even offensive.

But this is only acceptable if it’s part of your couple’s communication style, not just if one person suddenly starts wanting to call the other a degrading name. 

So unless it’s a joke that you guys have together, a guy should never use rude, insulting, or degrading language with you if he truly respects you

3) Ignore you

If a man truly respects you in your relationship, he’s never going to treat you like you don’t exist when other people are around.

This certainly happens, though, and it can be really degrading.

You may have experienced this before with an ex or even with a friend. You go out somewhere together, but as soon as you get there, he takes off and leaves you on your own while he schmoozes it up.

Or else he stays by your side but talks to everyone else but you, never drawing you into the conversation or even giving you an in by introducing you to someone, for example.

I know this can make you feel like less than nothing because I’ve seen it happen.

I’ve gone to parties where I’ve seen what I thought was a couple, but it really turns into the guy being all gregarious and outgoing while his significant other sits there feeling bored and ignored.

It’s not pretty and certainly not respectful – if a guy respects you he’ll never think to ignore you in public for sure.

4) Hang up on you

Hanging up on someone is a power move.

Hey, we’ve all done it – I’m as guilty as the next guy.

But it’s a behavior I’ll try not to repeat because it really doesn’t get me anywhere.

Except for the doghouse.

Imagine, then, how much worse it would be if you’re out and on a video call with your guy, and he has a fit and decides to hang up on you.

Well, what he may not know is that you’re out in public, and there could be people right there watching you get disrespected like that.

Or worse, he does know that you’re with other people, and he does it on purpose to make a statement. Someone who respects you isn’t going to do that.

5) Leave you waiting

I know this has happened to you. 

You arrange to meet your boo, and he’s late. That leaves you standing out in public on the corner of Embarrassed Ave. and Disrespected Rd. waiting for him to show up.

Now, I know you’re probably going to say that he might be late for a good reason, and that’s true sometimes. But when it’s not, the only reason is that he hasn’t made enough of an effort to be on time.

This shows that he doesn’t prioritize you and perhaps that he doesn’t really respect you either.

But if your man does respect you, he won’t choose to keep you waiting.

If he really runs into extenuating circumstances like getting stuck in crazy traffic or being chased by a pack of wolves, he’ll at least have the decency to call and suggest that you wait somewhere that’s more comfortable. 

6) Talk smack about your friends or family

I know you have some less-than-savory friends and family members in your life because we all do.

But that doesn’t mean that your guy has the right to air your dirty laundry out in public by talking smack about the black sheep in your family.

Yes, your uncle drinks too much, and your old friend Angie is a compulsive gambler. These are issues that you have to deal with regularly anyway, so why go out in public and say bad things about them?

At best, it sounds like complaining. At worst, it makes you seem like a bad person by association, and that’s not something that a man who respects you is going to want to do to you.

7) Flirt with other people

I have to confess I did this once without knowing it, and I know I really hurt my girlfriend at the time.

We’d gone to her class reunion, and I’d met a lot of her old friends for the first time.

One of them happened to be unnaturally captivating. She was tall, stunningly, beautiful, smiley, and bright…

I think you can already see the issue, can’t you?

That night, whenever this woman was around, I think I turned into more of a blathering idiot than a smooth flirt, but regardless, I definitely gave her all my attention and didn’t even realize it.

Back at home, my girlfriend was both sad and furious.

“How could you do that to me?!” she quite rightfully demanded, and I hadn’t even realized what I’d done.

Well, she made me realize both my actions and their consequences on her feelings.

It was a really bad scene and one that took me ages to be forgiven for. I fully admit that it was disrespectful and it never happened again. 

We did meet that friend again, but the spell was broken, and I stuck by my girlfriend’s side and extolled her virtues instead of falling all over myself once again – luckily!

8) Dismiss your feelings 

I saw a really strange couple dynamic just the other week that I need to tell you about.

I was at a funeral for a friend who was a singer, and so along with the mourning, there was also a musical tribute where her band played some of her favorite songs with different people singing the lead.

A couple I didn’t know was sitting right in front of me, and while she was crying her eyes out, he was swinging and swaying to the music. Then he actually leaned over to her and said, “Stop crying. No one else is. We’re trying to enjoy the music.”

Oh, man!

If you’re wondering, no, she didn’t stab him. Not with a knife anyway, but for just a split second, her eyes were daggers.

Then she turned away from him and continued crying.

Well, why not?

She was obviously sad and had lost someone she cared about. And what had he done?

Dismissed her feelings as inappropriate.

This showed a real lack of compassion and respect for her feelings, and it shocked me that he thought to do it in public like that.


If a man truly respects you, he’ll never do these eight things in public to make you feel disrespected or looked down on.

Instead, he’ll consider your feelings and your public image and work to make sure both are valued.

And if he does, he’s probably a keeper!

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