Sex is quite a rush, but it shouldn’t be too much of a rush.
When a guy jets out his jamba juice before the show’s even started, his partner is likely to feel some real disappointment.
Really, is that…it?
It’s like picking up a new bestseller you can’t wait to read and realizing it has only the last page and you already know everything that happens.
So why do some guys bust a nut like Usain Bolt?
As a guy, let me break this down for you.
1) He’s just extremely horny
If he’s squirting his squigglies way too fast it can mean various things.
Let’s start with the most common and work our way down.
The first possibility is that he’s just extremely horny.
I mean that in the broadest, most general sense. If he was a dinosaur, his body would be invisible due to the amount of horns and general horniness going on in his environs.
He’s hornier than a horned toad in the springtime. He’s thirsty for sex like Lawrence of Arabia on a two-month desert trek.
He’s ready for a good time like yesterday.
His pants have been on a camping trip for weeks now, pitching tents in the most awkward locations and making him walk like a stooped-over old man with lumbar problems.
All of this leads to him pumping out his pole milk in record time…
He’s so turned on and cranked up that as soon as he gets busy with you he’s already reached the mountain peak, so to speak.
The stereotype jokes that this is a phenomenon of adolescent young men, but it can occur at any age.
Sexual attraction and desire is an incredibly powerful forces, and if it reaches a fever pitch it can finish in a crescendo almost before the orchestra has even started playing the first notes.
Never underestimate horniness.
If you’re a guy who finishes too fast, or you’re dating one who does, then you need to respect the horny.
It’s real and it can sneak up on you when you least expect it.
2) He’s sexually inexperienced
The reason for the joke about younger guys reaching orgasm too fast is so popular is because it has a grain of truth.
When a guy isn’t that sexually experienced, he’s likely to reach the apex of his excitement more quickly.
As soon as his wiener gets within roasting distance of a cozy campfire, he’s hyperventilating and ready to spread his gentleman’s relish on the nearest buns he finds.
So he does…just that.
“I can’t believe I’m around a real live human female with breasts and a beautiful face and now I’m actually insi— oh my gaw…”
*Insert super intense orgasm sound*
You get the idea…
When a guy’s main experience in the bedroom has been learning to flip his pillow to the cool side or how to hide used kleenexes from his mom, sex is quite the novelty.
The pure excitement of bumping body parts with another woman can trigger a psychological response that’s intense, fast, and irreversible.
The good news is that round two is probably not far away and may even last thirty seconds longer.
Bit by bit you will conquer the pink mile…
3) He’s in the middle of an epic drought
One of the funniest lies guys tell to get laid is that “blueballs” can be dangerous or that they “need” to have sex in order to ease the discomfort they’re feeling by not having had sex in a long time.
Really sexy, right?
Imagine getting to be a receptacle for that kind of unbridled passion from a man who’s clearly very interested in you as an individual and not just your body parts…
“Help me, dear lady.
You’re the only one who can ease my immense suffering and the suffering of my persecuted, tragically neglected testicles.
Nobody knows my pain. Let the waters of freedom flow once again and Wakanda can be free and proud once again.
Uh … like, plz … or… maybe?”
In any case, as the Sexual Medicine Society of North America puts it:
“While it can be vexing, epididymal hypertension is not a dangerous condition and any unpleasant symptoms will go away once the genitals return to normal.”
A guy who has blueballs can masturbate or if that’s not something he’s into he can go to sleep, where nighttime ejaculation (also known as a “wet dream”) will ease the issue for him naturally.
The point I’m making, though, is that while blueballs aren’t dangerous they are loaded weapons of a kind:
His slimy white warriors are likely to launch their invasion very rapidly if he has blueballs.
So if this guy hasn’t had sex in quite a long time (“long” being relative here) then it’s understandable he might cross home plate while you’re still warming up your catcher’s mitt.
4) He’s particularly turned on by you, specifically
Next up in the things it means when a man nuts fast is that he’s very, very excited by you specifically.
He’s spreading his pale marmalade before the toast has even popped because there’s just something about the way you look and feel that drives him f*cking wild.
Lucky you, I suppose.
He may last half an hour with another woman or partner, but when he hops in the sack with you, his sack is emptying itself in record time.
This can certainly be seen as a compliment, and being very lustfully attracted to you could definitely be a potential plus.
But if satisfaction is going to go both ways then the premature ejaculation issue is definitely something you’d want to discuss and work on.
After all, as the person sleeping with this guy, you can’t exactly force yourself to be less sexy or tight or alluring now, can you?
You can’t help it if you’re a hot bombshell who makes his motor blow…
It’s up to the two of you to figure out if there’s a problem going on or one or both of you are unsatisfied.
If so, steps need to be taken to help him last longer in bed.
If not, let the rapid copulating commence!
5) He’s a porn addict
Now when it comes to the things it means when a man nuts fast, this is one of the more uncomfy subjects.
I’m talking about porn.
About 30% of all traffic and data online is porn and porn-related, so this is not something that only one guy somewhere watched once a couple of months ago.
I don’t want to scandalize you, but some guy is likely watching porn right now in his den and doing unmentionable things under his pajamas, and another guy is probably choking his purple bishop’s mitre in a hotel bathroom while his wife sleeps in the next room.
Porn can be pretty addictive, although of course, I wouldn’t know since I’ve never watched it (OK, 30% chance I might be lying).
But the point is that in addition to being addictive, porn can also cause serious sexual issues.
Chief among those are erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE).
Basically, too much porn can make your dick stop working right, but it can also make it so any real sex causes you to instantly go off and unleash ropes of high fructose porn syrup.
“There are a few ways that masturbating with porn can indirectly lead to premature ejaculation.
For starters, if a person rushes through the process, they may train their brain and body to ejaculate early, without even realizing that this is happening.”
There’s a reason so much porn is about the ending and the “money shot.” It’s all about the biggest rush and flashy moment of climax and peak desire.
When a guy watches too much of that his brain can begin getting trained to go right for the finish line…
(And that’s without even getting into the misogynistic vibes in a lot of porn where a woman is just a pliant meat treat for a man to use in order to get his rocks off).
Before getting to the next points, I want to make an important point about things it means when a man nuts fast:
Many, many men cum too fast. It’s very common. That doesn’t mean it’s fine for him or whoever he’s with.
But it does mean that this is not a relationship or sex-ending problem.
It can be treated and diagnosed psychologically or medically, and it shouldn’t make anyone feel like they’re a freak of nature.
“Between 30% and 40% of men experience premature ejaculation at some point in their life.
According to the American Urological Association, premature ejaculation is the most common type of sexual dysfunction in men.
About one in five men between the ages of 18 and 59 report incidences of premature ejaculation.”
So it’s common for a guy to blow his stack and leave it dripping with Aunt Jemimah’s syrup…
Why should you care, or give him a pass on that?
Well, I’m not saying you should. But if you’re a guy who cums too fast or is sleeping with one who does, don’t panic or read the worst into it.
Sometimes a few subtle changes can help him last longer.
Plus, it’s always good to understand some of the roots more about why this is going on.
Back to the things it means when a man blows his load faster than Donkey Kong barrels…
6) He finds you’re out of his league
When a guy finds a woman out of his league, it’s like catnip for a cat.
He’s flustered, turned on, wilding out, and unable to hold back.
Once he gets up to bat, he’s ready to start spouting out his willy milk before he even gets situated and gets a lay of the land, so to speak.
When he finds you so hot that he can barely breathe, it’s often the precursor to a very short roll in the hay.
Does this mean the guy hasn’t been with a hot individual before? Maybe.
But then again, maybe he sprayed his satchel syrup in record time with them, too.
7) He feels anxious about cumming too soon
Ironically, one of the biggest reasons why guys nut fast is when they are anxious about nutting fast.
The flip side is a guy who takes a long time to reach his orgasm and becomes worried about it:
“Damnit, is she noticing that this is taking forever? I’m taking a long time aren’t I? Fuck, this is so awkward. She’ll think I don’t like it…I should really try to just cum…”
On the flip side, the premature cummer is having an inner monologue that goes something like this:
8) He’s a selfish lover
In my experience, all sex is far from equal. Some are amazing. Some are… not very amazing.
It depends who you’re with and how you feel about them physically and emotionally.
If a man is having moderately enjoyable sex, he may often be able to somewhat control when he orgasms and spills his penis colada all over the place.
To this end, him nutting very fast can also be a sign that he’s a selfish lover.
To put it another way:
He’s using his partner as a flesh sleeve to get off and just wants the pleasure of orgasm. He barely even wants sex, he just wants to cum.
If this sounds weird, it is, but it’s also very common.
Orgasms release lots of pleasant chemicals and obviously pleasurable sensations in the genitals and body. They can be addictive.
Some men who sleep with partners they aren’t even very attracted to may use them as masturbation aids.
In other words: he’ll try to pump away like a jackrabbit and shoot his shot ASAP because he just wants to get off and doesn’t give a hoot whether you enjoy it or whether there’s any kind of deeper bonding going on.
He’s just here to deliver a quick shipment of clam sauce, no cap.
9) He has serious psychological issues around sex
Next up, let’s get into the darker stuff.
Some guys bust their bonk juice rapidly because they have serious issues around sex.
Basically, they want to control and manage everything and when sex comes along they cum quickly in order to avoid getting lost in the moment.
They basically feel uncomfortable being in a situation where they’re not in control, so they try to cum fast and end it.
These are often the kind of guys who are addicted to porn and masturbation or have had trauma and even abuse in the past that made them uncomfortable with sex.
They don’t really enjoy sex on a certain deep level and they just want it to be over.
Orgasming rapidly becomes an “aw shucks” excuse they can use in that regard to avoid the physical intimacy that makes them feel a lack of control, vulnerable and exposed.
I’m not saying this guy is Jeffrey Dahmer.
But he’s likely got some issues going on for sure.
10) He’s medically unwell
PE isn’t always a light subject. It can cause serious self-esteem issues in men (or be linked to them) and it can also really upset unsatisfied lovers.
“Yeah, I went out with that guy last year but …”
A female friend of mine briefly dated a guy with a similar problem. When I say briefly, it’s partly because the sexual aspects could be counted on the milliseconds of a chronometer.
Does that guy have a medical issue or is it psychological? Is my friend just too smoking hot?
Maybe we’ll never know.
But PE can be a real medical issue and require treatment in some cases.
Like the Cleveland Clinic writes, potential medical causes of PE include:
“An underlying erectile dysfunction diagnosis, a hormonal problem with oxytocin levels, which has a role in sexual function in men.
Other hormone levels that play a role in sexual function include luteinizing hormone (LH), prolactin and thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH).”
It also is directly linked to:
“Low serotonin or dopamine levels, chemicals in the brain that are involved in sexual desire and excitement or a penis that is extra sensitive to stimulation.”
Regarding that last point, I guess you’d best take the advice of the Georgia Satellites.
How fast is too fast, anyway?
The basic thing about PE and a guy who nuts fast is that it’s not always necessarily a bad thing.
The question about how fast is too fast is at least somewhat subjective.
The only really hard limit would be that a guy who’s seeing stars before he even enters the stargate is probably in need of some improvement.
You don’t always need to get in touch with Dr. Dongwater to find out why you’re cumming faster than the next Fast and Furious sequel announcement.
(Sidenote: are there even mathematically enough numbers to count the number of Fast and Furious sequels? By 2035 we’re going to be on Fast and Furious 58: How I Traveled to Mars in My Magno-Car While Shooting Bad Guys in Slow-Mo).
It can be hot for a partner if a guy is that turned on and it can also be hot for the guy who’s too excited to keep his orgasm at bay.
However, from an objective definition, the Cleveland Clinic says cumming in under a minute is generally seen as problematic or PE.
This is what’s considered “mild” PE. A guy who unleashes his squirmy wormies before even having any kind of sex would be considered to have severe PE.
However, if a guy lasts for three minutes or five minutes, who’s to say that’s “too fast” necessarily? (I say this as a completely neutral and objective party to the topic).
But who likes sex becoming an inconclusive wriggling mess for hours and hours? Nobody I’ve heard of, although I think there are some porn categories that seem to be into it…
The point is that men who take too long to ejaculate can also be a wear and drain on their partner, so there isn’t necessarily any “perfect” time for every couple.
What can be said is that if your guy is blowing his load fast it could be a sign of some sizzling hot attraction and sex that both of you are loving or it could be a sign that he’s got issues he needs to resolve.
Remember not to worry too much and to keep the pressure to a minimum.
Slowing things down
Most men who nut fast do so because they are too excited, sexually inexperienced or going through a drought.
The solutions to this would then be obvious: for them to be less excited, get more experience sexually and have more sex generally.
The best solution for this would be a long-term committed relationship which involves a lot of sex.
Other potential approaches include them learning to become more comfortable around partners who are very attractive to them, having more sex, and learning what triggers them to cum rapidly.
For example, maybe a certain position has them ready to launch Ejaculation Proclamation in mere seconds.
Solution? Avoid that position, at least until you’re ready for the finale!
If it’s a bit more complex than that, then look at what’s going on.
And if he just can’t keep it in, then consider visiting a therapist and/or doctor. Premature ejaculation is really common and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Getting advice and help is just a way to move forward in your intimate life and do something that will lead to happiness for couples.
If a guy nuts fast it can be flattering and hot. But it can also be anti-climatic.
Be honest, communicate, and don’t be afraid to seek help.
Sex isn’t just about reaching the finish line, it’s also about all the mile markers and exciting curves in between.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.