Marcel Deer
Sometimes a man can look in every way like a grownup but still be a boy in men’s clothing.
When a guy has a stubbly beard, big manly muscles, or even a distinguished potbelly, you’d be forgiven for thinking that he’s a real, mature man.
Well, in most cases, you’re probably right.
But once in a while, an alarm will ring because of the things that he says or does that make you realize he’s really an immature man-child.
If a man mentions these 8 phrases in conversation, he’s not as mature as he tries to come across.
If you catch one or two of them, you might not have to be too concerned.
He might just be playing around or trying to fit in with his boys.
But if more and more of these phrases, it’s going to let you know that he simply isn’t on your level.
So buckle up and get ready for these immature comments. It’s not going to be pretty!
1) “It’s not my fault!”
One of the hallmarks of immaturity is not taking responsibility.
When things go wrong, responsible, mature men can step up and take the blame for the things they’ve done wrong.
But immature guys will do whatever they can to avoid blame. This is partly a lack of confidence and partly a denial of the roles and responsibilities that a grown man needs to take on.
My friend Rob is a perfect example.
Just last week, he got kicked out of a bar at two in the morning for being too loud and raucous.
“It’s not my fault they fed me so much alcohol and played songs I like!” was his reasoning.
The following day, he went to his friend’s place and then got home way later than he was supposed to. He told his wife, “Andy wanted to play another round of World of Warcraft.
What was I supposed to do?”
Exporting and avoiding blame like this is a sure sign of an immature guy.
2) “You’re too emotional”
Let’s face the facts, guys have been pegged as being less empathetic than women on average.
I know there are lots of male empaths out there and females who totally lack empathy.
But in general, men tend to put less importance on emotions, and this is even truer for younger, immature men.
Part of this is the way we men are raised.
We’re taught to focus on things like physicality and logic, but emotional intelligence is rarely thrown into the mix.
This means that young men often have little experience dealing with and talking about emotions, whether their own or those of others.
So when they encounter issues or conflicts in which the other person has an emotional reaction, they might not understand it or be able to relate.
This leads them to use expressions like this one.
But be careful.
This phrase is also something you’ll hear from controlling narcissists who might use it in an attempt to gaslight or otherwise manipulate you.
So it may take some investigation to figure out if a man is saying this because he’s really oblivious or if it’s a clever act.
3) “I got so wasted last night!”
Wow, did you?
Look, I know a lot of wild and fun things can happen when you get some substances into your body and let yourself loosen up and do things you wouldn’t do otherwise.
But maybe this is another sign of poor emotional intelligence and control.
If you need to get wasted to have fun and do the things that you truly want to do, it means you’re not in touch with your own desires, or perhaps you’re not good at controlling yourself.
Either way, this isn’t something a mature person needs to gloat about.
For younger guys, drinking to excess and really going crazy is seen as a badge of honor.
Just look at frat houses and bar culture in general.
But when guys get a bit older and more mature, they should realize there’s more to life than the number of beers you can drink without it killing you.
Sure, mature guys still use substances, but you’ll see a lot more moderation and responsibility with their behavior.
4) “I’ve got no plans”
There’s nothing wrong with this phrase on the surface.
If you ask someone if they’re busy this evening and this is the answer, they’re just expressing their availability. It only starts to be a problem if you’re asking a guy about the future, and this is the answer he comes up with.
See, adults have ambitions, goals, and future desires that they work toward.
They create their life goals and tie all of their actions into them.
But when a guy is immature, he probably doesn’t think much about the future at all.
Instead, he’s just happy in the here and now.
But this can cause him to blow money frivolously, get into financial trouble, feel directionless, and generally lack the wisdom that planning for the future requires.
5) “Pull my finger”
This grandpa joke has got to be one of the oldest and lamest going.
But for some strange reason, some people still seem to get a kick out of it.
And those people are immature men.
Sniggering at rude words or toilet humor is usually a sign of an immature mind.
The jokes only work on people who are embarrassed by bodily functions and actions that older people are used to and have grown out of.
Sure, a cleverly constructed fart joke can still be hilarious, and when a fart slips out that sounds like a trumpet solo, no one’s expected to keep a straight face.
But if this is a major part of a man’s comic style, it’s a good sign that he could do with growing up just a tad.
6) “I can’t believe they’d do this to me!”
You’re probably going to hear a guy say this in one of two contexts.
First, he might be completely dumbfounded that someone treated him badly or did something that injured him.
In this case, he can’t believe it because he didn’t see it coming.
He may feel that he got fired right out of the blue or had his electricity turned off without warning.
Yes, that’s all possible, but even more likely is that there were plenty of reasons and signs to be seen in advance if only he’d paid attention.
But since he wasn’t taking responsibility for the quality of his work or paying his bills on time, these consequences come as a complete shock.
The second context you might hear him say this is if he’s indignant about how he’s being treated. This is a sign that he’s self-centered and thinks he deserves special treatment.
If he takes things like receiving slow service or having business deals fall through personally, he’s letting you know that he has an immature concept of the world and perhaps narcissistic tendencies, too.
7) “Ha, look at that guy!”
We all notice when unusual things are going on especially when people are different.
But we tend to have varying responses to these situations.
Imagine you say someone wearing really old, outdated clothes (and not doing it ironically or giving a retro nod).
You might think that the person has a poor sense of style.
You may even guess that they don’t have the money to stay on top of fashion.
Either way, a mature person is normally going to act with compassion and understanding.
But an immature person is more likely to point, laugh, and even bully that person.
This is actually a sign of poor emotional intelligence and a lack of compassion.
It may even show low self-confidence, with the guy putting others down to try to big himself up.
8) “Huh? What?”
If the music’s loud or you’re confronted with a low talker, it can often be hard to hear what a person is saying.
If not, you’re going to hear these words because the person you’re talking to isn’t really paying attention.
And what does it mean if a guy is a poor listener?
It could mean that he’s stressed, and that’s causing him to be distracted.
But it’s just as likely that it’s because he’s self-centered and is paying more attention to what he’s thinking than being an active part of your conversation.
This kind of poor listening generally feels disrespectful and unsavory.
It’s really not something anyone wants to put up with and really reflects badly on the guy who’s doing it.
Final thoughts
If a man mentions these eight phrases in conversation, he’s not as mature as he tries to come across.
He might be wearing a man’s suit, cologne, and five o’clock shadow, but inside, he’s still a man-child with emphasis on the child.
If you find yourself mixed up with a guy like this, you’ll probably realize very quickly that he’s not on your level, and it might be time to say buh-bye.
