If a man has these 10 qualities, never let him go

Ladies, let’s be real—a lot of the men we date don’t deserve our time (and love, and money, and attention).

But once in a blue moon, we find one who stands out from the crowd— someone who you’d want to keep forever.

Curious if you’re dating a keeper right now?

Check out if he has these 10 traits.

1) He’s not concerned about looking “manly”

He doesn’t hold back his emotions just to appear tough. He’d cry when he’s sad and he’d gush when he’s excited.

He also has no problem wearing pink or anything “unmanly” because he doesn’t give a damn if others would think he’s gay.

He’s not afraid that doing these “girly” things would make him look less “manly” because he doesn’t subscribe to such BS.

Men like these are rare. They’re the ones who make for the best partners you can ever have because you won’t always be walking on eggshells worrying you’ll emasculate them or make them feel “less of a man.”

2) He lets you be

He doesn’t make any snide comments about the way you dress or do your make-up. No “Are you dressing up for other men?”, or “Erase your make-up. It’s too slutty!”.

He also doesn’t try to pressure you into sharing his opinions or restrict you from doing the things you want to do.

In other words, he respects your freedom and individuality.

There are many girls who hate this laissez-faire approach because they think that if their partner is relaxed, it means they don’t care enough.

But that’s just silly.

The thing is that if your man lets you be, it means he trusts you and respects you as a person

Trust me—you’d want to be with someone with this trait than with someone who wants to control everything.

3) He’s a good friend

There’s this sentiment that romance and friendship have nothing to do with one another…that they just don’t mix.

That sentiment is, well, wrong. 

In fact, the best relationships you’ll ever have are going to be with guys who are also good friends.

It doesn’t matter whether the two of you were friends before you started dating, or if you became friends after you started dating.

You’ll know when you’ve reached “real friendship territory” if you can say you actually like them as a person, and not just because they play a role in your life. 

Another sign is that you can be totally honest with them. And last but not the least, that you’ve got each other’s backs (even if your romance keeps fluctuating).

If he’s the kind of person you’ll happily keep calling your bestie, definitely keep him for life!

4) He’s a good communicator

He’s the kind of person who takes the initiative to ask “What’s up?” or “Are we okay?” if he can sense that you’re upset or uncomfortable. 

He doesn’t make you feel like you’re “bratty” or “whiny” or “Ms. I’m-not-happy-about-everything.”

And if you did something to upset him, he would try to find a time and place to talk about it with you.

Hell, you can even tell him that he’s being a bad boyfriend and instead of lashing out he’ll sit down, listen to your concerns, and try to ask you how he can do better.

In a world where a lot of men would rather dismiss their partners for being “emotional” or give them the silent treatment for daring to make them look like the “bad guy”, men who value proper communication are a rare treasure.

Don’t ever let him go.

5) He’s supportive of your hobbies

We all have our hobbies. 

Many men, unfortunately, have a dim view on women getting too involved in hobbies—like, in one way or another, it can affect how they “function” as a partner or wife.

And that’s precisely why if you find a man who doesn’t just “tolerate” your hobbies but actively supports them, you should never let him go.

Instead of telling you that you’re wasting your time and money by collecting figurines, for example, he’ll randomly buy you figurines without being asked.

He might end up buying the wrong kinds of figurines, but it’s the thought that matters.

If your guy has this trait, you’d regret letting him go.

6) He doesn’t badmouth his exes

This one is a bit harder for most of us to swallow.

On some level, we want our partners to denounce their exes to really drive home the idea that we’re better than them.

Let’s be real here—we want to hear our partners say things like “My ex was crazy!” or “My ex was not the smartest” or “Ugh, my ex was a scheming b*tch”.

Flattering and comforting, maybe. But this shows your man’s (not-so-nice) character.

Men who are like this are, more often than not, men who don’t know how to take responsibility for their relationships failing.

That’s why you want men who are fair with their exes. 

It might make you feel jealous, but you will want a guy who can admit that his ex has GOOD qualities…and that he has BAD qualities, too. And that they were both in love but it just didn’t work out.

7) He doesn’t need much to be happy

Give him a cup of coffee and his face would light up.

Suggest that you go to a fancy restaurant and he’d just say “Well, I’m happier to have dinner at our usual place. It costs $300 less!”

And when you give him a letter for his birthday, he’d tear up and give you the tightest hug ever.

When it comes to long-term relationships, it’s important to choose someone who’s joyful and easy to please.

Imagine if you’re with a guy who doesn’t appreciate the small things—who’d only be happy if he’s driving an expensive car or going on a grand vacation. 

Making him happy would require a lot from you and that would deplete you over the years.

8) He’s kind towards everyone

He treats the janitor and the garbage man with respect, never once alluding that they’re somehow “lesser” than the average person.

When faced with the poor and unhoused, he doesn’t talk about how dirty and disgusting they are, but instead empathizes with them and talks about how they deserve better.

And whenever he can, he’d help—whether by giving donations or marching on the streets.

This is how you can tell that he’s genuinely kind-hearted and a rare treasure you must hold on to.

In fact, even if your relationship doesn’t work out somehow, you will nonetheless want to remain friends with men like these. 

That’s how much of a “never let him go” trait this is.

9) He can admit fault without making you feel guilty

It’s hard enough getting men to admit fault. What’s even harder is getting them to admit fault without going all “woe is me!” or “Yeah I get it, I’m awful.”

Someone might admit that they were wrong for raising their voice at you but then immediately go and say something like “but you really gave me no time to explain myself” or “I’m stressed. I was bound to get off eventually but okay, I’m sorry.”

Both of which might sound reasonable (and some men definitely are more unreasonable), but they’re nonetheless meant to make you feel bad.

So if your man can ever admit that he’s wrong without immediately trying to make you feel guilty, hold on to him.

10) He appreciates and reciprocates the little things you do

If he notices that you’re always well-dressed when he’s around, he acknowledges and compliments you for it.

If you ever tell him that you miss him, he tells you right back “I miss you more”, instead of saying something like “Cute!” or “You sure you miss me?”

And of course, if you cuddle him and kiss him and give him gifts and love letters, he’d make sure to give you those things, too—even more!

By returning the attention you give him, he’s showing you that you’re precious to him and that HE never wants to let you go.

Last words

If you really think about it, all of this boils down to these three things—kindness, humility, and maturity. 

It should be easy enough to find people with these qualities, right? They’re so basic, after all?


While a lot of men end up developing these traits as they grow older—which is why dating in your 30s is generally more stable— many unfortunately don’t. 

In fact, many people actually become worse as they age!

That’s why if you ever find a man that ticks all of these boxes, you should try your best to keep him in your life.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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