Tina Fey
Respect has nothing to do with how accomplished you are…or how smart you are, or what type of car you’re driving.
It all comes down to how you think and act.
If you’re a man and you want to gain respect from people, this article is for you.
Here are 14 traits of a highly respectable man.
1) He’s independent
A man who can pay his bills and cook his own food is admirable. But I’m not just talking about that kind of independence.
I’m talking about something more important—independence from the influence and opinions of others.
He thinks for himself because he’s always striving to live an authentic life.
So if his mom encourages him to pursue a degree in IT and he hates computers, he’d say “No” even if it means he’d be disappointing her.
A respectable man is free and it also shows in how he respects other people’s autonomy.
2) He’s not full of himself
Many men have huge egos. And that’s why it’s so refreshing when a man isn’t full of himself.
He doesn’t try hard to show how good he is.
He’s not all “me, me, me”.
He doesn’t get offended when he’s not seen as the best and the brightest.
And of course, if he’s not full of himself, it follows that he has no issues praising others and admitting his flaws, too.
All of these things make him more respectable than the rich CEO who has nothing else to talk about but himself.
3) He’s gentle even towards his enemies
Most men are conditioned to be rough and aggressive— especially towards their enemies.
Like young boys in the playground, it’s as if their “manliness” is measured by how hard they can crush other men.
They forget it’s not the middle ages anymore and being barbaric is not at all sexy (or respectable).
Men today gain respect from others by being relaxed and gentle.
A man who has mastered the art of being gentle—towards others, towards animals, especially towards his enemies—is what real strength is all about.
4) He respects boundaries
If a woman says “No” to his advances, he’d gracefully step back.
If his friend says “No” when he asks for favors, he’d say “It’s okay”, and really mean it.
In fact, he won’t even wait for a “No”. If he senses that they’re not comfortable, he won’t even try!
And if he gets a “No”, he won’t sulk and plot revenge because he doesn’t think that their “Nos” are personal attacks in the first place.
It’s hard to respect a man (or any person, really) who’s entitled—who thinks they should get a “yes” every damn time.
This just shows that in order for you to become respectable, you should first respect others, especially their boundaries.
5) He knows how to commit
Whether it’s a project or a relationship, he knows how to commit.
If he says he’ll do it, he won’t change his mind later on. And he’d make sure he gives his 100%. For him, that’s what commitment is all about!
He won’t go hot or cold.
He won’t give excuses for not doing his part of the job.
Instead, he makes sure he delivers what’s expected from him. After all, no one forced him to commit. It was his decision.
And this is also the reason why he won’t commit unless he’s really sure that he can follow through.
6) He knows when to say “No”
Another round of beer when it’s already 2am?
A kiss from a stranger when he’s already married?
A bribe from corrupt officials?
No, no, and hell no!
A respectable man isn’t just someone who does good things, he’s someone who says “No” to things that are not good for him and for everyone around him.
In other words, he always tries to do the right thing.
7) He’s honest no matter what
A respectable man doesn’t steal, cheat, or lie.
And he doesn’t just tell the truth when cornered, he tells the truth even if he won’t ever be found out.
What also sets him apart from others is that he won’t flatter you just to win your heart. He’d rather say an uncomfortable truth than tell a comfortable lie.
He’s as honest as he can be, and while some people don’t like him for it, he has gained the trust of many.
In a world where you need to kiss ass, deceive, lie, and become a snake to get ahead, he’d rather remain honest.
8) He doesn’t think he’s superior simply because he’s a man
Some men think people SHOULD respect (read: follow their orders and not question them) them simply because they’re a man.
They always take on the role of the leader, they always call the shots. And when you question their authority, they get insulted!
They’re actually the ones who don’t get any respect—not just from women but from everyone!
Why? It just shows their ignorant and outdated views on masculinity.
Personally, I respect men who don’t subscribe to “male is the superior sex” ideology. And I know I’m not the only one.
9) He keeps his word
People naturally respect people who keep their word.
If he says he’ll arrive at 7pm, he’ll be there at 7pm, even earlier!
If he says he’ll help you move your stuff to your new apartment, he won’t cancel even if his girlfriend wants to go to a concert on the day of your move.
He doesn’t give excuses to not keep his promises because he’s a man with integrity. And it’s natural for people to respect a man like this.
10) He’s responsible and reliable
You can relax when you’re working with this guy because you know he’ll deliver. And if he can’t, he’ll surely warn you days in advance.
He knows about his responsibilities and he takes them seriously.
He doesn’t want to burden others by not doing what’s expected of him.
A man who has this kind of self-discipline and integrity might not be the richest, but he’s gained respect from every person he’s worked with.
11) He knows how to manage his temper
Some men growl and throw a fit when they’re angry.
They say it’s just “who they are” and they just can’t help it. After all, they’re a man with manly hormones!
I personally can’t respect any man who can’t manage their emotions well.
I don’t care if they’re good at managing their business or they’re good at managing their household.
If they scream and kick when things don’t go well, they’re not someone I could admire!
A respectable man is someone who doesn’t let his emotions get the best of him.
He has the skills to de-escalate a heated argument. He has learned coping skills to manage his moods and tempers.
He knows how to shut up when he has nothing good to say.
12) He’s totally fine doing “girly” things
He doesn’t believe in BS such as “Divine Feminine” and “Divine Masculine”.
He believes each one of us has feminine and masculine traits—and he doesn’t find one weaker than the other!
He enjoys baking, designing his home, and he even has a skincare routine.
And if he likes doing “girly” stuff, he won’t be embarrassed about it…because why should he? In fact, he questions why we ever have “girly” stuff and “manly” stuff. For him, they’re all just stuff!
A respectable man doesn’t give a damn about “masculine” or “feminine”. All he cares about is being a good person.
If people judge him for doing “un-manly” things, THEY have a problem.
13) He genuinely cares for others
When someone’s in trouble, he’d rush to help.
When someone’s feeling blue, he’d notice it and offer them a cup of coffee…or a shoulder to lean on.
He’s the kind of person who doesn’t just think of himself.
While he doesn’t give a f*ck about a lot of things, he does have a lot of f*cks to give on the things that truly matter.
A man like this would make us realize the importance of kindness and love and the value of being a good human being…and we can’t help but respect him.
14) He has no problem admitting mistakes
For some men, admitting their mistakes means they’re admitting weakness. And they never ever want to appear weak in any way to anyone!
A respectable man, on the other hand, would readily admit their mistakes.
After all, they see no problem with people committing mistakes. It’s not like we’re all perfect.
He’s self-aware and he knows he’s a work in progress—that he has flaws and that he has to be guided to become better.
Because of his self-awareness and humility, he wins the hearts and respect of many.
Final thoughts
It’s actually quite easy to become more respectable—just respect others!
Men can do this by, first and foremost, by getting rid of the idea that they’re born superior simply because they’re male.
And then once that’s out of the way, they can do what other respectable people do—build integrity, live an authentic life, and learn emotional regulation and interpersonal skills.
If you do all of these, I guarantee you, people will naturally respect you.
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