Some men believe that women are attracted to an immense display of strength and confidence.
And they aren’t too far off the mark – but the kind of strength and confidence we like can drastically differ from what they imagine.
An amazing woman isn’t one to fall for physical strength or economic power. She values integrity of character and healthy masculine energy first and foremost.
Therefore, if a man displays these 9 traits, he’s unlikely to attract a high-value woman.
1) He shows a lack of initiative
I’m currently actively dating, and if there’s one thing I find most attractive about the men I talk to, it’s their initiative.
If we decide to get off the dating app and meet in the real world, they’re more than happy to choose a place, book a table, and show up on time.
This might seem like a small thing, but it’s an incredibly attractive first impression – it shows you’re not afraid to take the lead and make the necessary arrangements.
As someone who used to date a few men with no initiative in the past, I can honestly say that a lack of assertiveness and effort is a huge let-down. It forces women to step into their masculine energy and get behind the wheel of the relationship dynamic, which gets very old very quickly.
Am I saying the man should always be in charge of everything? Not at all. No one can just get a free pass in a relationship – both parties have to put in the work.
But I am saying that a complete lack of initiative from the get-go won’t exactly lead to a high-value woman landing in your lap.
2) He plays hard to get
Here’s a question for you: What’s even worse than a lack of initiative?
Pretending you’re an incredibly rare piece of gold that women have to dig through the mud to find.
You may think that playing hard to get signals confidence – after all, you can just lie back, relax, and contemplate whether someone’s worth your effort based on how much they try to catch your attention – but in reality, it’s the complete opposite.
Confidence equals putting yourself out there. It equals showing genuine interest.
And while men don’t necessarily have to chase women – oftentimes, the interest is reciprocated – they should definitely not force women to chase them.
Women want to feel desired. Don’t come off too strong, sure, but don’t make yourself too unavailable, either.
3) He’s dishonest about his true values and beliefs
I once dated a guy who, upon hearing that I was a vegetarian, decided to stop eating meat overnight.
There was no lengthy discussion on the merits of vegetarianism; no recommended documentaries; no obvious reason for this change of heart apart from the fact that he fancied me.
To be quite honest, this showcase of a complete lack of integrity was a big turn-off for me. It’s safe to say the situation didn’t lead anywhere, and we went our separate ways.
Another man I dated had many in-depth conversations with me about the issue, and while he decided to continue eating meat, I actually respected his choice a great deal.
Thanks to our discussions, I understood where he was coming from, and I appreciated that he didn’t change his whole life philosophy just to please me.
Respect is the core foundation of a romantic relationship. If you’re dishonest about your true values and opinions, it signals a lack of confidence in who you are.
4) He boasts and brags
Ugh. Bragging just isn’t it.
While it’s understandable that you want your date to know about your life accomplishments – you should be proud of yourself, after all – it’s better to let it all naturally come to the surface as the conversation progresses rather than to boast about this and that.
Truth be told, a high-value woman will recognize that you’re bragging because you’re looking to receive external validation and to impress her, and while your achievements may be impressive, you shouldn’t have to excessively point them out to get her attention.
As mentioned before, high-value women cherish strength of character above all. And someone with a strong personality doesn’t need to brag because they don’t need to have their achievements validated.
Their confidence comes from within.
5) His body language screams withdrawal
Your body language says a lot about how you feel on the inside – even if you don’t realize it.
For example, hunched shoulders and crossed limbs immediately signal that you feel uncomfortable and would like to minimize your presence in the situation at hand.
This in turn forces the woman to take the lead and “bring you out of your shell” as it were, which puts a lot of pressure on her from the get-go.
To attract a high-value woman, try to:
- Keep your head held high
- Keep your back straight and your shoulders drawn back
- Walk with a purpose
- Lean slightly toward her to show interest
- Smile and laugh
6) He doesn’t put effort into his appearance
It goes without saying that appearance does matter. For one, it’s a big part of sexual attraction, which is something you can only influence to a small degree.
Secondly, though, your appearance shows how much you look after yourself, which in turn says something about your own relationship with yourself and how you want to be perceived.
And this second part is all up to you.
Always aim to:
- Look after your beard and skin
- Shower regularly
- Wear flattering clothes that suit your chosen style
- Have some bubble gum in your pocket
- Trim your nails
You don’t have to be a model or work out six days a week to end up with the woman of your dreams. You should, however, make yourself look presentable – if only because it shows that you care.
7) He’s afraid of commitment
We all have issues. That’s just an inherent part of the human condition.
However, high-value women aren’t looking for men they need to “fix” in order to make it work. They want someone who actively works on themselves, who knows how to communicate, and who is ready for a serious relationship.
Women want to be chosen when it matters. They want to know they’re high on your priority list. They want to see consistent evidence of your love and devotion.
A fear of commitment doesn’t really fit that bill. Again, it makes it so that the woman has to chase you in order to receive your love, which is a recipe for a disaster in the long run.
If you struggle with commitment, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
However, do try to take an active approach to sorting through the issue, be it by journaling, discussing it with your friends, or giving therapy a try.
8) He lacks real-life hobbies and friends
A romantic relationship is a big deal. That’s just a fact.
However, it shouldn’t be the only major thing happening in your life. It’s important for both partners to have hobbies and friends that constitute their sense of self outside of the relationship.
Plus, women love it when you have stuff to do.
Be it crafting something in your back garden, playing sports with friends, learning how to play a musical instrument, or attending a chess club, having something you’re passionate about is incredibly attractive.
And while video games and the online world in general are valid hobbies, too, don’t forget that the real world ought to always take priority – it’s where your true life takes place, after all.
9) He’s possessive and jealous
There’s a difference between a man who’s protective and a man who’s obsessively jealous.
The first can be attractive. The latter not so much.
Remember that women value their independence.
They want a partner who will be their number one fan and who will provide emotional support while they go after their goals, whatever they may be, and lead a healthy social life alongside investing time and effort into the romantic relationship itself.
If their partner constricts their sense of freedom, makes overbearing demands, and displays way too much jealousy, they will recognize there is a lack of trust and confidence from your side, which could easily lead to a deterioration of the relationship.
The good news is that most issues couples face can be worked on and fixed.
And at the end of the day, that’s the most important thing in any relationship – an active decision to choose each other and make it work.