Marcel Deer
There are lots of great guys out there, but let’s face it.
Not every man who rings your bell is partner material, right?
There are guys you wouldn’t mind hooking up with for a while, guys you’d spend time with, and guys who are definitely destined for the friend zone.
Then there’s the type of man you’d bring home to meet your mama.
All of these types of guys can be attractive in their own ways, so that leaves you with a big question.
How do you know which guy really has potential as a partner?
And even if he has potential, how do you know if he’s ready to actually get serious?
Luckily, there are a bunch of clues you can use to tell if a man is just going to be there for fun and thrills or if he’s actually the kind of person you can have a lasting relationship with.
So if a man displays these ten traits, he’ll be a great partner for life, and you might want to hurry and bag him up. No diggity!
1) He treats you with respect
A great partner is someone who respects you, himself, and everyone else.
What does that mean, exactly?
In your relationship, he doesn’t feel like the boss who can tell you what to do. He sees the two of you as equals whose opinions both need to be taken into account.
He looks for consensus with you rather than making one-sided decisions.
He also respects the fact that you’re different. While it’s great to share a lot in a relationship, he also sees the value of each of you being your own person.
So he’s not trying to change you or force you to do things you’re not into.
Essentially, he already treats you like a real partner.
2) He’s supportive
A good man will certainly respect you and your abilities, but he’ll also be there to support you whenever you need it.
Other types of guys out there may avoid taking a supporting role out of pride – they can’t let you have the spotlight while they’re helping behind the scenes.
Still, others will avoid the responsibilities involved in supporting you out of fear. They’re worried about having to step up because they’re just not ready.
But if you’ve got a man who is happy to support you when you need help, who you can rely on, and who is actually proud to be able to support you, he’ll make a great life partner.
3) He opens himself up
I’m not talking about opening his mouth to let out a loud belch, although, in some cultures, I understand that that’s a sign of respect and admiration.
I mean, he opens himself emotionally.
He lets you know how he feels, even if it means he has to admit that he’s feeling sad, scared, nervous, or insecure.
He’s also confident enough to tell you about his past in spite of the skeletons in his closet. He’ll also talk about the future, and that will hopefully include plans with you in them.
He lets himself be vulnerable because he trusts you, and that’s a great trait to have in a life partner.
4) He’s trustworthy
Just as he trusts you, he shows you that you can trust him.
If a man displays the trait of trustworthiness, you’ll notice a bunch of behaviors that he’ll readily show.
He won’t be secretive or quiet about the things he’s doing or who he’s meeting.
He’ll say he’ll do things, and then he’ll do them.
On top of that, he won’t act defensive if you ask about anything, and he won’t hide what he’s doing on his phone when you walk into the room.
If a man is doing these things, he’s probably ready to partner up and commit himself to you, so he has nothing to hide.
5) He’s ready to level up
When I say that he’s ready to level up, I mean that this guy has the maturity and motivation to change his role in life.
So many guys are happy to just float through life for a good period of time. They might make money, socialize, and generally have fun, but they don’t see their own roles changing.
This can include the stereotypical man-child who just wants to play and let his mommy pick up after him. But it doesn’t stop there.
There are so many men out there who simply aren’t ready until they’re ready, and I know because I was one of them.
I didn’t really get serious about much in my life until I was in my mid-30s. Before that, I had a great time exploring the world, working hard, and playing hard, too.
While I had relationships, I wasn’t thinking seriously about serious commitments like becoming a partner or a provider.
Then, all of a sudden, something changed.
I felt ready to assume these kinds of roles, and I really quickly made a solid, life-long commitment to my partner.
Very often, it’s not just about the person, but also it’s about time.
6) He takes responsibility
A guy who lives like a slob as though he’s waiting for his mom – or you! – to come by and clean up after him any time now is not taking responsibility for his own life.
Nor is a guy who always makes excuses for his mistakes or shortcomings.
But if a guy is able to stand up and say, “That was me. I did that,” then he’s probably ready for other responsibilities as well, like cohabitation, family, and (gasp!) commitment.
7) He communicates well
One thing that makes or breaks most relationships is communication.
So often, couples have small issues, but they don’t talk about them, at least not effectively. Then they grow into big problems.
Good communication means doing two things.
First, a person talks about things, both positive and negative, rather than keeping them inside.
Second, they listen when the other person is talking about their side of things. And here, I mean really, actively listen, not “yeah, yeah, uh-huh, just let me finish this level” half-assed listening.
If your guy can talk to you about things respectfully and put his phone down to look you in the eye when you’re talking, you probably have a strong communicator on your hands.
8) He’s positive
I don’t mean he’s sure, or he has a bun in the oven.
I mean that he has a positive attitude.
If you’re with a guy who’s not, who’s generally negative, grumpy, or a habitual complainer, don’t think you can change him.
He might change on his own, but don’t bother holding your breath.
But if you have a positive guy who’s bright, cheerful, fun, and happy to be alive, that’s the kind of energy that makes a really great partner for life.
9) He shares your core values
You and your guy don’t have to be into all the same things.
You might have interests and activities that you’re way into, and he could have very different ones. That should allow you to take some personal time away from each other and thereby actually strengthen your relationship by helping you maintain your individuality within it.
But something that’s very important to share is your core values.
These are the things you hold to be most important in life, whether that be honesty, kindness, loyalty, family, integrity, or anything else.
If your values aren’t well aligned, you’re guaranteed to run into conflicts down the road, and because they’ll go to your core, they may not be resolvable.
10) He has strengths that complement your weaknesses
Last year, a friend of mine announced that he got engaged.
It was a surprise – no one even knew he was seriously dating anyone.
So when we asked who the lucky guy was, his response was also really surprising.
“He’s basically just like me. We’re almost like twins!”
At the time, I thought that sounded pretty great. I mean, he’d found a guy who he felt super comfortable and familiar with.
But a few months later, there wasn’t a whole lot of harmony left in the relationship.
“He’s worse at communicating than I am!” my friend exclaimed, among other complaints.
What I realized is that, by choosing to partner up with someone who was just like himself, he’d actually shot himself in the foot.
They shared many of the same weaknesses, like difficulty communicating and getting really jealous. It made me realize that it’s better to find someone who can complement you, not mirror you if you want to forge a lasting relationship.
Final thoughts
If a man displays these ten traits, he’ll be a great partner for life.
They show that he’s no longer a boy or a man-child but an actual grown-ass man who can take care of yourself and take on the role of your partner.
If you’ve got one like this, count yourself lucky – they’re not always easy to find!
