Pearl Nash
Relationships today are so different from what it was like decades ago.
We’re a generation of commitment-phobes!
Thanks to dating apps, people just easily come and go.
After all, we can just easily discard someone the moment we see “red flags”.
And even if we’re in a long-term relationship, knowing that there are plenty of choices out there makes men hesitant to take things to the next level.
Wondering if your man is serious about his intentions for you?
Here are 10 subtle behaviors you should look for.
1) He has your best interests at heart
So let’s say you’re planning to go to the cinema that afternoon…and then have drinks with your friends right after.
But then, all of a sudden, you don’t feel well.
Does he get pissed?
Not at all. His instant reaction is worry.
He’d ask if you need something (a glass of water, some medicine perhaps), and then he’d ask if you prefer to stay in and rest instead.
If this describes your man, then he truly cares for your happiness and wellbeing.
A man who is serious about his intentions for you will always think of what’s good for you.
And he’d never force you to do anything that could be detrimental to your wellbeing and overall happiness.
2) He invests in your relationship
When a guy is serious about his intentions for you, he would be willing to give your relationship all he’s got.
Okay, not ALL, but you know what I mean.
He’d spend a lot of time with you. And if he has money to spare, he’d not mind spending it on you, too.
My partner and I have been in a long-distance relationship for four years now and I have no question about his intentions for me.
Why?
Because he actually spends his hard-earned money to buy plane tickets to see me.
A man who’s not serious with his intentions would not even bother. He’d just move on to the next the moment he sees that the relationship takes a lot from him.
But if he invests in your relationship in whatever way, he must be serious about his love for you.
He doesn’t see these things as a waste of time and money because he knows it’s worth it.
He can see you in his future and so he doesn’t feel like he’s being careless by investing in your relationship.
3) He welcomes you to his world
If a man is not serious with you, he will remain mysterious and hard to access.
He won’t share much about his life—especially not his deepest, darkest secrets because…because he thinks it’s unnecessary.
After all, he doesn’t see his future.
And he will delay introducing you to his people as much as possible. Why should he?
But when a man lets you in his life fully—and he even makes you feel extra comfortable staying in it—you can be sure he’s serious about his intentions for you.
Does your man tell you about his childhood? His dream, his frustrations, his secrets?
Did he already introduce you to his friends and family?
Do you feel like you’re truly part of his life?
Then he’s definitely serious about his intentions for you.
4) He says “us”, “we” and “ours” a lot
It just happened naturally.
At the beginning, you’re of course two separate people with totally separate finances, schedules, and life plans.
You also make decisions separately.
But now, it’s like you’re family. You hear him say “us”, “we”, and “ours” a lot.
He doesn’t say “I like to buy a plant for my balcony.” Instead, he says “I want US to buy a plant for OUR balcony.”
And what makes it a sure sign that he is serious about his intentions for you is when he shares your burden.
When you have a problem, you hear him say “How should WE do this?” or “Do you think OUR plan will work?”
As far as he’s concerned, you’re a team.
5) He values your opinion
Some men can easily say “I love you.”
But when it comes to making decisions, they won’t even think about you for one second.
A man who’s serious about his intentions for you considers you as his life partner.
He won’t make decisions that you absolutely don’t want. Or if it really means so much for him, he’d negotiate so you both arrive at a compromise.
All he wants is that his decisions are based on what can make both of you happy in the end.
And so if he plans to buy a couch, he won’t click “Buy” without consulting you. He’d ask if you like it, too.
And if his friends invite him for a weekend getaway, he’d ask for your “permission” just to know if you’d still be happy even if he’d be away.
6) He doesn’t run away the moment you have problems
A guy who’s not serious about you would do a slow fade the moment you have problems in your relationship.
They’d call everything a “red flag” then they’d set “boundaries” until…poof! They’ve disappeared off the face of the earth.
A guy who’s serious about his intentions for you would stick around.
Even if you become grumpy and “toxic” and annoying.
Even if you become a burden.
Even if you turn into the worst version of yourself for a bit.
It’s really simple. For him, he has no choice because he loves you.
Besides, he’s seen the best of you and he knows that this phase will just eventually pass. For him, you are worth it even if you have flaws.
7) He shows up on the important occasions
It’s your birthday? Of course he’ll be there with you, making sure you feel like a princess.
But he shows up at your cousin’s party too if he knows your cousin means so much to you.
And your sister’s graduation.
And your dental appointment because he knows you’re scared of the dentist.
And of course, if you’re in need of help, he’d drop everything and rush to your side.
A man who’s not serious about his intentions for you won’t go out of his way to show you how much he cares for you. He’d just focus on himself and give you the bare minimum.
8) He remembers the things you tell him
A guy who’s not so into you has a short-term memory. The moment you’re out of his sight, you’re out of his mind. And he’ll be thinking about something else.
A man is serious about his intentions for you, trust me—he will remember almost everything you tell him.
He’ll remember your favorite movie, your favorite drink, and your favorite color.
He’ll remember the things you hate and make sure you won’t experience any of them.
But he’ll also remember the very detailed story you told him about your childhood…as well as your elaborate dreams.
And what’s cute is that he’s forgetful about other things.
9) He slowly becomes the best version of himself
And it’s all because of you!
How can you tell?
Well, not only does he make changes that he likes for himself, he makes the changes that he knows can make YOU happy, too.
If you don’t like that he’s smoking 20 cigarettes a day, he’d cut it down to five…or even quit altogether!
And if you’ve encouraged him to quit his toxic job and find one that truly makes him happy, he does just that.
An inspired man has the power to turn himself around—and he’s doing it because he is serious about his intentions for you.
10) He talks about his future (with you)
Unless a man is an assh*le, he would refrain from talking about marriage, mortgage, and bank accounts with a girl if he’s still not sure about his feelings.
They know that simply mentioning these things (even as a joke) could make the girl have an impression that they’re serious.
But of course!
Those are serious things, and they don’t want the girl they’re dating to expect anything when they’re not really ready.
So if your man openly talks to you about the future—where you’ll live, how many kids you’ll have, what kind of house you’ll buy— then he’s definitely serious about his intentions for you!
Final thoughts:
So…how many of these behaviors did you see in your man?
If he scored 10/10, then you’re definitely one lucky girl. Don’t doubt his love for you.
But even if he didn’t get a perfect score, don’t panic.
Men fall in love fast, but it takes them a while to truly commit. So just be patient. As long as he’s treating you well and as long as you’re happy, you have nothing to worry about.
But when enough time has passed and you still feel insecure of his intentions for you, then there’s nothing wrong with asking him about it.
It’s your right to know if you’re both on the same page. After all, you’re 50% of the relationship.
