If a man displays these 8 behaviors, he sees you as a life partner

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You’re dating someone you really like.

You’ve been seeing each other for weeks, months, or even years, but there’s still one question at the back of your mind that doesn’t go away no matter how hard you try…

Is he truly committed to you? Does he take what you have seriously?

If he displays these 8 behaviors, it’s a huge sign he does, indeed, see you as his life partner.

1) He openly discusses your future together

The most obvious behavior to watch out for is his readiness to spin dreams of a future life together as well as his use of language.

Does he often talk about his plans as if they automatically included you? Does he plan future holidays? Is he open to having conversations about your goals when it comes to building a family and buying a place to live?

A man who views you as his life partner won’t shy away from such topics because he’ll be so excited to share his future with you that he’ll jump on every chance to discuss your plans together.

He’ll often speak in “we” rather than “I” terms (“Where would you like us to go on a holiday?” instead of “I’ve been thinking about going to Greece”) and make sure to inform you about any individual plans that don’t necessarily include you (such as a trip with his friends).

Of course, the fact that he talks about your future doesn’t necessarily mean that he plans to execute those dreams in reality.

In fact, some men often “talk the talk” but never actually do the deed, which is why the following signs truly seal the deal…

2) He considers you to be his best friend

The sad truth is that many romantic relationships are based on a lot of sexual chemistry and very little friendship.

While this isn’t all that obvious in the first few months, it becomes very clear once the honeymoon phase is over and you’ve settled into a comfortable rhythm.

Suddenly, spending time together consists of nothing but watching TV, making out, and chatting about inconsequential things that aren’t very intellectually stimulating or entertaining.

Whilst it’s possible that you simply don’t have that much in common, another possibility is that your partner doesn’t actually view you as his best friend.

He doesn’t put effort into getting to know you better, having banter with you, or learning more about your hobbies because he just isn’t all that interested in you on an intellectual level.

It’s super painful when this happens – trust me, I’ve been there – but it’s also a very clear sign that the man in front of you may not be the one.

And that’s because a man who sees you as his life partner will also cherish your friendship above all else.

Sexual chemistry decreases in intensity as time goes on, but friendship? That’s the complete opposite. Your friendship can only grow as the decades pass you by.

But in order for that to happen, you need to have that kind of connection in the first place.

3) He puts active effort into the relationship’s well-being

If there’s one thing that will inevitably happen in your relationship, it’s trouble.

I’m sorry, that’s just a fact. All relationships go through ups and downs, especially if we’re talking decades upon decades of companionship.

The important part isn’t how many issues you encounter. It’s how you deal with them.

Someone who doesn’t take the relationship seriously won’t bother to learn how to communicate, take the time to sort through conflicts together, and implement changes that will make you happy.

If you have to keep bringing up the same issue over and over again because he always repeats the same patterns, he isn’t fully committed.

If he doesn’t keep his word, he isn’t fully committed.

If he dismisses your feelings or invalidates your perception of the relationship…

Yes, that’s right.

People often don’t realize this, but someone’s ability to hear you out and make the effort to ensure your relationship thrives – be it by planning more dates, changing their behavior so as not to hurt you, or making certain compromises or sacrifices – really determines how successful your relationship is going to be.

So, if you can see that the man you love always tries his best to make sure you’re both happy…

It’s very likely he sees you as a life partner.

4) He truly opens up to you

The society we live in still makes it very difficult for men to open up about their feelings. It’s therefore completely understandable that some men struggle to display real vulnerability.

However, there inevitably comes a time – after an argument, during a rough period of your lives, you name it – when vulnerability is needed so that you can both understand each other better, stick by one another, and get through it together.

And if he still doesn’t open up at that point (and doesn’t do anything to change it), it might mean he doesn’t consider you to be “the one” – even if he can’t admit it to himself.

Vulnerability is required for a lifelong relationship to work.

As the research professor and motivational speaker Brené Brown says:

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

5) He loves you for who you are

A man who sees you as a life partner won’t try to change you every chance he gets.

He won’t comment on your hair, weight, or values; won’t constantly try to get you to like his hobbies and abandon yours; won’t criticize you or put you down all the time.

Of course, this doesn’t mean he will never give you negative feedback – some of your actions may hurt him, you might accidentally overstep his boundaries, or some of your behavior may frustrate him – but his criticism will:

  • Never be about who you are as a person
  • Always be delivered in a gentle, kind way that allows space for conversation

This is because if he genuinely wants to spend his life with you, he loves you for you. He won’t try to turn you into some made-up ideal.

6) He asks you for advice and genuinely listens

Every healthy relationship is built upon a foundation of respect.

And that manifests in multiple ways, including the way you speak to each other, the manner in which you react to one another’s concerns, and whether you turn to each other for advice.

If he’s going through a rough time at work, he’ll confide in you.

If he’s struggling to choose between two suits, he’ll ask you for your opinion.

If he’s doubting all his life decisions, he’ll tell you and keenly listen to what you have to say.

To him, you aren’t just someone he’s in love with; you’re a person who inspires him, grounds him, and gives valuable counsel when needed.

7) He supports your dreams and goals

Someone who wants to spend their whole life with you isn’t going to criticize or dismiss your career goals and dreams.

On the contrary, your goals ought to be in alignment with theirs – that’s one of the reasons you decided to date in the first place, I hope – which means that they will be nothing but supportive when it comes to reaching your dreams.

He won’t stunt your growth. He won’t drag you down.

He will inspire you and feel inspired by you, and together, you will thrive in every way that matters.

8) He welcomes you into his social and family life

Finally, a man who invites you to be part of his inner social circle and introduces you to his family is a man who plans for you to stick around.

It’s not an easy decision to introduce one’s new partner to their family and friends, so when it does happen, it means the man in question takes his relationship pretty seriously.

Of course, all the signs above don’t mean much when they manifest independently – your partner may talk about your future and root for you but still struggle to commit and show up for you when it truly matters – but if you’ve found yourself nodding to the majority of these…

Bingo.

The man you’re dating may see you as a life partner. He is genuinely committed to your relationship and he strives to make it work – no matter what.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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