Amy Reed
Dating in the modern world can be tough. Guys aren’t always upfront about their intentions.
Sometimes, men do this on purpose to get what they want. Other times, they’re just scared of getting hurt.
To spot the difference, you have to take a close look at their behaviors.
People can easily say things they don’t mean. But faking a behavior isn’t quite so easy…
When a guy is actually falling in love with you, you’ll feel it by the things he does, rather than the things he says.
If your man does more than one of these 9 things, he’s almost certainly falling in love!
Up first:
1) He talks to you every day
You’d think this wouldn’t need to be said, but in the modern world, it really does!
When a guy is falling in love with you, he’ll want to talk to you every day – no matter how busy he is.
If you don’t hear from him for days on end, or even an entire day, he isn’t just a “bad texter” or “super busy”.
No one is that busy or that bad at texting! Unfortunately, he just isn’t that into you.
But if he texts you consistently and replies to you no matter what, he might be falling in love. As long as…
2) He wants to see you all the time
A man won’t just text you all the time when he’s falling in love. He’ll want to see you, too!
Leaving it any longer than a week will be way too difficult for him, even if he’s the biggest introvert ever!
When I first started dating my boyfriend, he couldn’t wait to see me again. Waiting a week for our next date was just way too long for him. It’s why we even met up for an hour on a couple of weeknights sometimes.
Which just proves this point even more: When a guy is falling in love with you, he’s never too busy. He’ll make time to see you no matter what.
He’ll never cancel dates, take a raincheck, or go weeks without making plans to meet up with you. He just won’t!
3) He asks about you and your life
Have you ever been on a date with a guy who doesn’t ask you a single thing about yourself? Yeah, me too.
Those guys definitely weren’t falling in love with me. In fact, the only person they loved was themselves (bit harsh, I know!).
When a guy actually cares about you, he’ll want to know everything. He’ll ask questions about you, your life, your family, your interests, and even your day!
He won’t just do it because he feels like he has to, either. Asking questions won’t just be a tick-box exercise for him.
Instead, he’ll do it because he’s genuinely interested in learning everything there is to know about you!
4) He wants to meet your friends and family
A friend of mine dated a guy for six months and he never met a single person in her life. And believe me, she tried!
All he gave her was excuse after excuse after excuse for why he couldn’t make that event. Or kept feeding her the good old fashioned, “I’m not ready yet” line.
When a guy is that serious about you, so serious that he’s falling in love, he’ll want to meet the people who are important to you.
Why? Because they are a part of you, and he’ll want to be a part of that.
5) He stares at you for longer than he should
Now that we’ve got the bare minimum behaviors out of the way, it’s time to get into the more serious things. I.e., the more obvious signs that he’s falling in love with you!
Like the fact that he’ll stare at you for way longer than he should.
If you’re talking, he’ll hold your gaze the entire time. Even when you’ve finished talking, he might still be staring!
He might just watch you randomly, too. My boyfriend did this early on (to be honest, he still does). Purely for research purposes, I just asked him why he did it back then.
He said it was because he loved every minute with me, so when we were together, he wanted to take it all in. And that he just couldn’t get enough of me (cute).
So if your guy does this, he’s probably thinking the same things about you. And he’s definitely falling in love!
6) He makes sure you get home safe
Actions speak louder than words, am I right? It’s all well and good having a guy text you or say flippantly after the date, “Get home safe”. But that, truly, is just the bare minimum.
When a guy is actually falling head over heels in love with you, he won’t be able to bear the idea of anything bad happening to you.
So you best believe he’ll walk you to your bus stop, call the Uber himself (so he can track it), or physically give you a ride!
“Aw, how sweet!” I used to think when I got a text the next day asking if I got home safe. And, sure, it was nice of them. But it wasn’t a sign that they were falling in love!
When I met my current partner, we’d only been dating a few weeks before he drove two hours at midnight to pick me up from a party. He also used to call me if I didn’t text saying I’d gotten home safe. And pick me up from the station if it was dark out.
It’s all about the actions when a guy is truly in love…
7) He tells the truth
Few people say what they mean and mean what they say.
In my experience, people are more likely to hide the truth from people they aren’t that serious about. Or people they outright don’t care about…
Like a coworker, for example. Telling them a little lie about your past probably isn’t going to keep you up at night!
But lying to the person you’re dating is a completely different story. It isn’t the best way to start a relationship. And when someone continuously lies or doesn’t fess up to things, I’m sorry to tell you but they probably aren’t in love!
My friend dated a guy for six months who lied about his age. She found out when she saw his driver’s license. He begged for her forgiveness and told her he lied when “things weren’t serious”.
She felt that he would’ve told her way sooner if he actually cared about her – or loved her like he claimed to! Plus, the trust was gone.
But if your guy tells you the truth and doesn’t lie about things, this is a pretty good sign that he feels serious about you. And that he’s got integrity (shade: thrown).
8) He keeps his word
When you start caring about someone, having their trust feels important to you. And you want them to rely on you. Which is why you keep your promises.
If a man says he’s going to message you tonight or call you tomorrow and doesn’t, he isn’t keeping his word.
The same rules apply if he says he’ll take you out somewhere and doesn’t show up, text about it, or organize anything!
In my experience, guys only do this kind of thing when they aren’t in love. And when they aren’t that serious about you. But when they’re falling for you, they’d never!
Unless, of course, they’re just an unintegral person and majorly flaky…
9) He talks about your future
When a guy starts making plans for your future super early on, this can be a major red flag. It can signal that he’s romanticizing you and the relationship.
Which sounds nice, but it isn’t.
If he doesn’t know you that well, he could be dreaming about the idea of you, rather than actually you. And when you don’t fit into his “vision”, things can come crumbling down fast!
But provided you don’t suspect this is the case, it could be a total green flag! It could signal that he’s actually falling in love with you.
So him telling you he wants you to meet his friends, come to his birthday party in spring, or vacation together next year is good news – not bad!
Final thoughts
Every relationship is different, I know. But don’t let that saying fool you into believing a man is in love with you when he isn’t!
In my experience, guys only do these things listed above when he’s falling in love with you. When he doesn’t, he isn’t.
So if your guy is doing all the things on this list, quit panicking already! He likes you – and maybe even loves you.
So have a chat with him if you want to or just keep enjoying the ride, because things are looking A-OK for the two of you!
