If a man displays these 14 behaviors, he has very high self-esteem

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

It’s not always easy to pinpoint but there’s an undeniable quality to a man with high self-esteem.

You see it in the way he talks, the way he carries himself, and in his daily actions.

If a guy displays the following behaviors, no doubt about it, he has it in spades!

1) He goes with his gut

That’s just another way to say that he trusts his instincts — because he ultimately trusts himself.

He won’t agonize over a decision or endlessly second-guess himself once he’s made a choice.

He knows that whatever the fallout, he can handle it.

He understands that either way, good or bad, it’s a learning opportunity.

His quiet confidence in himself allows him to tap into his intuition and listen to what it tells him.

Because our intuition is actually our experience speaking to us.

It’s the wealth of information we have stored in our subconscious mind that is coming through.

2) He feels comfortable in his own skin

The way you can tell whether he does or not is through his body language.

Awkward men tend to give away how they’re feeling by slouching, looking at the floor or around the room, and fidgeting.

But a guy with high levels of self-esteem presents himself in a self-assured way.

Don’t confuse that with arrogance. That’s not to say he is conceited or image-obsessed.

But he is relaxed and confident:

  • He looks you in the eye
  • He’s got a firm handshake
  • He has upright posture
  • He has an effortless smile
  • He has a relaxed and open energy

3) He isn’t afraid of a difference of opinion

When someone has a different take on things, it won’t phase him.

He certainly won’t get defensive or take it personally.

His ego is not so fragile that it relies on everyone agreeing with him.

In fact, only those with a secure sense of self are able to feel completely unthreatened when they face disagreement.

The key is that he doesn’t confuse who he is, with his opinions. He knows he is much more than his point of view on certain matters.

So, if anything, he embraces other outlooks, as they help him to learn and grow.

4) He can handle rejection with grace

Nobody particularly enjoys rejection, no matter how high their self-esteem.

Who doesn’t want to always win and never fail?!

But the big difference is that he can take a knockback on the chin.

If the answer is “no” he can honor and respect that, no matter how disappointed he may feel.

He is sure to act like a gentleman about it, rather than become petty (which only reveals someone’s insecurities).

He’ll pick himself up again and get on with his life.

It’s this resilience to fall back on that helps him to live life to the full.

5) He’s willing to take a risk and go for what he wants

Our success, and often even our very happiness, relies on our ability to take a chance.

That certainly doesn’t mean taking a reckless approach, but it does mean some calculated risks.

And that’s something a man with self-esteem is willing to do. He is prepared for the trade-off.

He knows that we cannot always protect ourselves from life. And when we try too hard to stay safe in our little bubble, we miss out.

But not him, he is grabbing opportunities and putting himself out there.

6) He is comfortable in acknowledging his strengths and weaknesses

He isn’t shy or modest to a fault. He has the self-awareness to identify his strengths without overly playing them down.

So he is confident in putting himself forward for things.

But importantly, he also knows the things he’s not so great at.

Admitting that doesn’t make him feel less.

It doesn’t threaten him to accept there are some things that are simply not his skill set.

It takes a strong man to know not only what he’s good at, but what he still needs to work on.

7) He focuses on himself, not on what everyone else is doing

We’d make life a whole lot easier for ourselves if we could get better at staying in our own lane.

And a man with incredibly high self-esteem does just that!

Rather than get distracted by enviously looking around at what everyone else is doing, he pays full attention to his own life.

He doesn’t get lost in comparisons, which usually only ever leads to negativity.

He knows that the only person he is in competition with is himself.

Besides, you can never truly know what someone else’s life is like looking in from the outside. So it’s pointless to try.

8) He can easily adapt to new situations

The more we back ourselves, the better we are at dealing with change.

In fact, flexibility and self-esteem can be intertwined.

Research has even shown a link between the two. People with higher self-esteem were found to have much greater career adaptability.

And it’s safe to assume that goes for general adaptability in life too.

You can go with the flow more when you trust yourself to tackle whatever ups and downs may come your way.

You can put yourself in unfamiliar situations and not feel out of your depths, instead taking it all in your stride.

9) He’s straightforward and honest

It might sound simple enough, but honesty takes courage.

So many people pleasers, for example, end up lying to themselves and others for that reason.

They may not want to rock the boat or fear being unpopular.

There’s an undeniable vulnerability to be upfront about how you feel, what you need, and what you want.

Only a man who has the deep roots of self-esteem to anchor him can reveal his truth.

Of course, that’s not to say he doesn’t still show tact. But as we’ll see next, staying true to himself matters more than winning popularity contests.

10) He stays true to himself

A guy with very high self-esteem sets his own standards to live by.

He won’t bow to pressure or be so easily swayed. His values and beliefs are a compass that guides him.

Integrity is a whole lot easier when you’ve got faith in yourself.

He won’t feed you total BS just to manipulate you. You won’t find him insincerely sucking up or blindly following the crowd.

He isn’t afraid of navigating conflict to stand up for what he believes in.

11) He’s proactive and takes charge of his own life

You won’t find a man with high self-esteem playing the victim.

He much prefers to take full responsibility for himself and his own life.

And that means taking initiative.

If he is unhappy in his work, he goes looking for a new job. If his relationship has problems, he wants to work on them and not brush them under the rug.

He is proactive because he fundamentally believes in himself.

There is a certain amount of independence that comes from self-esteem because you no longer need to look to others to get the job done.

He knows he can rely on himself.

12) He looks for solutions, not excuses

In many ways, this is an extension of taking initiative.

When faced with a problem, a guy with really high self-esteem feels confident that there is an answer.

He’d rather get busy looking for a way to improve things than waste time on negativity and defeatism.

That’s not to say that everything can be “fixed” in life, sometimes all we can do is find acceptance for what we cannot change.

But rather than make excuses he’ll get to it and try to figure out more positive solutions.

13) He admits when he is wrong

He not only admits it, but he can apologize and make amends.

It is only the most insecure men who have to always be right. Because deep down, their ego is fragile. It cannot suffer the blow of admitting it was wrong.

So instead, it turns to denial and stubbornness to defend itself.

Guys with the highest self-esteem simply don’t feel the need to do this. They know that nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes.

Your character is not defined by never putting a foot wrong, but by how you handle it when you do.

A high self-esteem allows you to hold your hands up and accept fault.

14) He takes a non-judgemental approach to others

Being quick to judge the perceived flaws and failings of others is another little trick that the ego likes to use to make itself feel better.

The thinking goes something like this:

“If I can point out what’s bad about them, I can feel better about myself”.

Essentially, judgment is a way of creating a hierarchy, where we are more superior to those we look down on.

Secure people don’t feel the need to do this.

They have their own self-approval to rest on. They don’t rely on stripping away at someone else to get a little lift.

That’s why the most compassionate and understanding of men usually have the strongest of self-esteem.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

9 behaviors that show you’re growing up as a person

7 things naturally kind-hearted people do for others