If a man displays these 10 behaviors, he has very low self-esteem

Ever noticed how some guys always seem a bit down on themselves? It’s not always easy to spot, but if you know what to look for, the signs are there.

The thing is, low self-esteem is a tricky beast. It’s not just about being shy or feeling awkward. It can affect anyone and show up in all sorts of ways.

So, let’s get into it. Here are 10 behaviors that might suggest a man has low self-esteem.

1. He constantly compares himself to others

We all compare ourselves to others every now and then. It’s a human thing to do. But if a guy is constantly sizing himself up against others, it might be a sign of low self-esteem.

Think about it. When you’re happy with who you are, you don’t need to measure yourself against someone else’s yardstick.

But if a man is always comparing himself – whether it’s about his looks, his job, or his lifestyle – it could mean that he’s not feeling great about himself.

Remember though, we all have our off days. But if this is something he does all the time, it might be more than just a bad day.

2. He’s overly critical of himself

Ever noticed a guy who seems to be his own worst critic? That could be a red flag for low self-esteem.

It’s one thing to recognize your mistakes and want to improve. That’s healthy. But if a man is always coming down hard on himself, even for small slip-ups, it might be that he’s struggling with his self-worth.

Here’s the thing: we all mess up sometimes. It’s part of being human. But if a guy can’t cut himself some slack, it could be because he’s not feeling good about who he is.

3. He struggles with decision-making

Decisions, decisions, decisions – we all have to make them. But for some guys, even the smallest choices can feel like a mountain to climb. And guess what? This could be a sign of low self-esteem.

Here’s an example from my own life. I used to have a friend who would struggle with the simplest decisions.

Choosing a place to eat, picking a movie to watch, deciding whether to go out or stay in – these things would stress him out big time.

At first, I thought he was just indecisive. But as I got to know him better, I realized that his struggle with decision-making was rooted in deeper issues with self-esteem.

You see, when you believe in yourself and trust your judgment, making decisions becomes easier. You’re not afraid to make a wrong move because you know that you can handle it.

But if a man doesn’t feel good about himself, he may doubt his ability to make good choices, which can make every decision feel like a potential disaster.

4. He constantly seeks approval from others

It can be observed that a person who constantly seeks approval from others might be grappling with low self-esteem.

This habit of constantly seeking reassurance from others to feel better about oneself might ironically lead to feeling less confident over time.

So if you notice a guy always looking for validation from others – whether it’s about his appearance, his work, or his decisions – he may be wrestling with low self-esteem.

It’s nice to hear compliments and positive feedback, but when someone relies on this for their self-worth, it could indicate a deeper issue.

5. He avoids confronting issues

Have you ever met someone who seems to avoid problems or tough conversations like the plague?

This could be more than just a dislike for confrontation; it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

When a man feels insecure about himself, he might avoid facing issues head-on. This could be because he fears rejection, criticism, or conflict. Instead, he might choose to sweep things under the rug and pretend everything’s fine.

This is heartbreaking because everyone deserves to have their feelings heard and their problems addressed.

But if a man doesn’t believe he’s worth that, he might let things slide, even when they’re hurting him.

If you notice this behavior in someone you know, it might be a sign that they’re dealing with low self-esteem.

6. He downplays his achievements

You know, I once had a coworker who was exceptionally good at what he did. He’d finish tasks ahead of time, come up with innovative ideas, and was often the go-to guy for solving tricky problems.

But whenever anyone complimented him or acknowledged his achievements, he’d always brush it off or even attribute his success to luck.

For the longest time, I couldn’t understand why someone so talented would downplay his achievements.

It was only later that I realized it was because of his low self-esteem. He genuinely believed he didn’t deserve the praise or that he wasn’t as good as others thought he was.

So if you notice a man consistently dismissing or minimizing his successes, it’s possible he’s dealing with low self-esteem.

Rather than acknowledge his accomplishments, he might chalk them up to luck or think they’re not enough.

It’s a sad reality for many, but recognizing this behavior is the first step towards addressing it.

7. He’s overly defensive

Let’s be real here. Nobody likes criticism. It stings. But let’s face it, it’s a part of life. We all screw up, make mistakes, and have to face the music sometimes. But for some guys, any form of criticism or negative feedback can feel like a personal attack.

If a man is quick to get defensive or feels threatened by even the smallest critique, it could be a sign that he’s wrestling with low self-esteem.

Instead of seeing criticism as a chance to learn and grow, he might see it as proof that he’s not good enough.

The hard truth is, it’s tough to improve and get better if we can’t take constructive criticism on the chin.

But when a guy is already down on himself, any form of critique can just add fuel to that fire of self-doubt.

8. He’s a perfectionist

Did you know that perfectionism can be a sign of low self-esteem?

Individuals who feel insecure or unworthy might strive for perfection as a way to compensate for their perceived flaws.

So if you see a man who’s always pushing himself to be perfect, it might mean he’s dealing with low self-esteem.

He might think that by being flawless, he can avoid criticism and win approval from others.

However, the reality is that nobody’s perfect. This unrealistic standard can lead to stress, burnout, and potentially even lower self-esteem over time.

Remember, striving for excellence is great, but chasing after perfection? That’s a whole different ball game.

9. He has a negative outlook

This one hits close to home. I used to have a friend who always saw the glass as half empty. No matter what was happening in his life, he’d find a way to view it negatively.

Even when things were going well, he’d be on the lookout for what could possibly go wrong.

It took me a while to realize that his negative outlook was tied to his self-esteem. He believed that he didn’t deserve happiness or good things, so he’d always anticipate the worst.

If you know a man who seems to always expect the worst or focuses more on the negatives, it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

He might think that he’s not worthy of good things, so he braces himself for disappointment instead.

It’s a tough way to live, but understanding this can help us be more empathetic and supportive.

10. He struggles with self-care

When a guy is battling low self-esteem, taking care of himself can often fall by the wayside. I’m talking basic stuff here – eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, and so on.

It’s not that he doesn’t know these things are important. It’s just that when you’re stuck in a rut of self-doubt and negativity, making an effort to look after yourself can feel like an uphill battle.

If you see a guy neglecting his own needs or treating himself poorly, it could be a sign that his self-esteem is in the gutter.

Remember, we all deserve to be treated with kindness and respect – and that includes how we treat ourselves.

Final Thoughts

Look, spotting these signs in someone doesn’t mean we should start diagnosing or labeling them. It’s about understanding. It’s about seeing beyond the surface and realizing that there might be more going on underneath.

If we can do that, we can start to show more kindness, more empathy, and more support for the men in our lives who might be quietly struggling with their self-esteem.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all human. We all have our ups and downs. And we could all do with a little more understanding and compassion.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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