If a guy you’re dating starts talking about these 10 things, run!

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Dating is exciting but sometimes, it can be tricky. We meet someone new and spend time getting to know them.

But not everything we learn about them is good. There are signs that tell us if a relationship is unhealthy.

In this article, we will talk about 10 things that are warning signs. If a guy you’re dating says these things, it might be a sign to step back. These aren’t just small worries – they’re big alarms.

We all deserve to be in happy and healthy relationships. So, it’s important to know when to say goodbye.

1. He Talks About Controlling You

When the sweet talk turns into a script of rules and regulations, it’s a glaring red flag.

If he starts discussing how you should dress, who you should hang out with, or even tries to dictate your daily routine, it’s a sign of controlling behavior.

Relationships are built on mutual respect and freedom, and no one deserves to be with someone who tries to micromanage their life.

If boundaries are being crossed and your autonomy is under threat, it might be time to run.

2. He Constantly Demeans Others

I remember dating someone who had a habit of putting others down. It was subtle at first, but then I started noticing it more.

Every conversation was laced with criticism or disdain for friends, family, or even strangers. It was as if lifting himself up at the expense of others was a sport.

If the guy you’re seeing has a similar pattern, where he constantly belittles or criticizes others, consider it a warning.

It’s not just about manners or etiquette; it’s a reflection of his character. Today it’s others, tomorrow it could be you.

Respect and kindness are foundational in any relationship, and the absence of these is a clear signal to reconsider.

3. He’s Open About His Disregard for Commitment

If he’s candid about his disdain for commitment or makes it clear that he’s not looking for anything “serious,” believe him.

It’s not a challenge to change his mind, nor is it a phase that’ll pass. It’s a revelation of his intentions, loud and clear.

We often hear stories of people who stick around, hoping they’ll be the one to change this perspective.

But let’s be brutally honest – it’s a gamble that rarely pays off.

If you’re looking for something real, something substantial, don’t ignore this. It’s not just a red flag; it’s a stop sign.

4. He Always Talks About His Achievements and Successes

If every conversation circles back to his victories, accomplishments, and moments of glory, be cautious.

It’s great to be proud of one’s achievements, but a constant monologue of self-praise can indicate a lack of humility or an inability to focus on others.

In a balanced relationship, both partners celebrate each other’s successes.

If his stories are always about him, it might reveal a self-centeredness that leaves little room for you and your experiences in the relationship.

5. He Avoids Talking About Feelings

I once knew a guy who was a master at dodging emotional conversations. If the talk started to veer towards feelings or anything deep, he’d skillfully steer it away.

It was like a dance, and emotions were the steps he was determined not to take.

If you’re with someone who avoids discussing feelings, emotions, or anything that requires opening up, take note.

Relationships thrive on emotional intimacy. It’s the glue that binds two people, making them partners in the truest sense.

If he’s building walls instead of bridges, it’s a journey to reconsider. Emotional availability is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

6. He Talks Openly About His Infidelity

If he casually mentions or even brags about being unfaithful in past relationships, that’s a red flag waving in the wind.

It’s not a casual piece of information or a small mistake; it’s a significant breach of trust.

If he talks about cheating without remorse or understanding of its impact, it’s indicative of his attitude towards relationships and commitment.

It’s a glimpse into his values and character, and a clear warning to tread carefully.

7. He Talks About Your Boundaries as if They’re Obstacles

Imagine this: you’ve laid out your boundaries clearly, expressing the spaces and limits that make you feel safe and respected.

But instead of acknowledging and respecting them, he talks about them as if they’re barriers preventing him from getting what he wants.

Every conversation about your limits turns into a negotiation, an attempt to push a little further, to erode those boundaries piece by piece.

It’s not just unsettling; it’s a blatant disregard for your comfort and security. In a healthy relationship, boundaries are respected and cherished.

They are seen as integral parts of individual identity, not obstacles to be overcome or ignored.

If he speaks of your personal limits with a tone of inconvenience or views them as challenges to be conquered, it’s a clear indication of disrespect.

8. He Talks About His Dislike for Independence in a Partner

If he often speaks about how he prefers women who are dependent on their partners, or makes comments that undermine your ambitions and independence, it’s a red flag.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should uplift each other, celebrating each other’s successes and independence.

If his conversations reveal a preference for power imbalance or a desire for a partner who is subservient, it’s a clear indication of his perspective on relationships and women.

Every individual has the right to their aspirations, and a supportive partner is foundational to achieving them.

9. He Often Talks About His Exes Negatively

I recall a past relationship where every other conversation somehow circled back to his exes, and never in a good light.

It was an endless narrative of blame and resentment. If the guy you’re dating often speaks ill of his previous partners, painting himself as the perpetual victim, it’s a cause for concern.

Relationships are a two-way street, involving two people, each with their share of responsibilities.

A constant blame game is not just a refusal to acknowledge one’s part but also a glimpse into a lack of maturity and emotional intelligence.

10. He Talks About the Future Without Considering Your Plans and Aspirations

If his conversations about the future are soliloquies, where your dreams, plans, and aspirations are mere footnotes, take heed.

A partnership means two people building a future together, where both sets of dreams and goals are valued and nurtured.

If he’s laying out a roadmap that caters solely to his ambitions, with little regard for yours, it’s not just inconsiderate—it’s a red flag.

A relationship is a shared journey, and both partners should have an equal say in charting the course.


Dating can be a mix of fun and challenges. It’s a journey where we learn about our partner, but also about ourselves.

The way a guy talks, what he focuses on, can tell us a lot. It can be a big sign of whether this relationship will be healthy or not.

We talked about some red flags – topics that if a guy keeps bringing up, should make us stop and think.

It’s not about judging quickly, but about listening and paying attention.

If he doesn’t respect your boundaries, talks down on others, or isn’t serious about commitment, it’s okay to step back.

Every woman deserves respect and love. If the conversations make you uncomfortable, trust your feelings.

It’s okay to walk away. In the world of dating, knowing what you don’t want is as important as knowing what you do want.

So, let’s step into dating with open eyes and ears, ready to meet people but also ready to walk away if needed.

Because every woman deserves a love that makes her feel valued and respected.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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