I always felt alone and isolated in life until I realized these 9 key truths about human connection

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I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling alone. Like I was on an island, isolated from everyone else. But then something changed. I stumbled upon several truths about human connection that turned my world around.

Suddenly, I didn’t feel so alone. I realized that connection is not just about being physically present with others, but about sharing experiences, understanding, and empathy.

In this article, I’ll share the 9 key truths about human connection that transformed my life. These aren’t just theories or nice ideas; they’re practical insights that you can start using immediately to form deeper connections with those around you.

1) Connection is more than just physical presence

I used to think that being around people was enough to feel connected. But I soon discovered that it’s not about being physically close with others, it’s about sharing experiences and emotions.

Human connection doesn’t mean you’re always surrounded by people. It’s about the quality of your interactions, not the quantity.

Think about the relationships in your life. You might have hundreds of friends on social media, but how many of them do you feel truly connected to? How many can you share your deepest fears and highest joys with?

Realizing this truth was a game-changer for me. I began focusing more on deepening my existing relationships and less on expanding my social circle.

Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean you have to share every little detail of your life with everyone you know. But it does mean that connection comes from being vulnerable, open, and authentic with others.

2) Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness

This was a hard truth for me to accept. I spent a large part of my life believing that showing vulnerability was a sign of weakness. I thought it would make people think less of me, or worse, take advantage of me.

I remember a particular time when I was going through a tough break up. I was devastated, but I wore a mask of ‘I’m fine’ because I didn’t want people to see me in pain.

But then one day, a friend asked me how I was really doing. And instead of my usual ‘I’m okay’, I broke down and shared what I was going through. To my surprise, instead of judgement or pity, what I got was empathy and support.

This experience opened my eyes to the power of vulnerability in fostering deeper connections. Showing our true selves, with all our strengths and weaknesses, allows others to do the same. It creates a space where genuine human connection can thrive.

3) We are wired for connection

It’s not just a feel-good sentiment; it’s a biological fact. Our brains are designed to connect with others. This can be traced back to our ancestors, who relied on social bonds for survival. Those who were better at forming connections had better access to resources, protection, and mating opportunities.

This need for connection is so ingrained in us that our brains have evolved to release oxytocin – often referred to as the ‘bonding hormone’ – when we form social connections. Oxytocin promotes feelings of trust, empathy, and bonding in relationships.

Understanding this biological aspect helped me realize that my feelings of isolation weren’t a personal failing, but a signal from my brain that I needed more meaningful connections in my life.

So if you’re feeling alone, remember that your brain is simply doing what it’s designed to do – seeking connection. And by understanding this, we can take steps to build more meaningful relationships and satisfy our inherent need for connection.

4) It’s okay to need others

In our society, there’s a lot of emphasis on being independent. We’re often told that we should be able to stand on our own two feet and not rely on others. While self-reliance is indeed a valuable trait, it’s equally important to acknowledge our innate need for others.

I used to feel guilty about needing people. I felt like I was being needy or weak. But then I realized that needing others is part of being human.

We’re social creatures by nature. We thrive on companionship, empathy, and mutual support. Needing others doesn’t make us weak; it makes us human.

Acknowledging this truth allowed me to reach out to others when I needed help or companionship without feeling guilty or ashamed. It helped me build stronger relationships and made me feel less alone in my struggles.

5) Quality over quantity

In the age of social media, it’s easy to get caught up in the numbers game. The number of friends you have, the likes on your posts, the comments on your photos. But when it comes to human connection, it’s not about the numbers, it’s about the quality of relationships.

Having a large number of acquaintances might give you a feeling of popularity, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you have genuine connections. On the other hand, having a few close friends with whom you share a deep bond can make you feel truly connected.

This was a major shift in my perspective. Instead of trying to befriend everyone, I started focusing on nurturing my existing relationships. I invested time and energy in the people who mattered the most to me.

And guess what? I found that these deeper connections brought me more happiness and satisfaction than any number of casual acquaintances ever could.

6) Connection heals

When we’re going through a tough time, our first instinct is often to isolate ourselves. We retreat into our shell, convinced that nobody could possibly understand what we’re going through. But I’ve learned that it’s in these difficult moments that connection becomes even more important.

Connection has the power to heal. When we share our struggles with someone else, it lessens the burden. It reminds us that we’re not alone in our pain. It gives us the strength to keep going.

I’ve experienced this healing power of connection many times in my life. Each time I opened up about my feelings of loneliness and isolation, I felt a little less alone. Each shared experience, each word of understanding, each moment of empathy helped heal a piece of my broken spirit.

7) Connection starts with self-understanding

For the longest time, I found it hard to connect with people. I would put up walls, hide my true feelings, and put on a facade. What I didn’t realize then was that my difficulty in connecting with others was rooted in my lack of connection with myself.

I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, or what I felt. This lack of self-understanding made it difficult for me to be open and authentic with others, which in turn hindered my ability to form deep connections.

It was only when I started on a journey of self-discovery that things started to change. As I got to know myself better, I became more comfortable with being vulnerable. I began to express my thoughts and feelings more openly, which allowed others to see and connect with the real me.

Connecting with others starts with connecting with yourself. When you understand and accept yourself, you create a space for others to do the same. It’s like building a bridge; you need a solid foundation on both sides for the bridge to hold.

8) Genuine connections require effort

For a long time, I expected relationships to just happen. I thought that if I was nice to people and showed interest in them, we would automatically become close. But I soon realized that forming deep connections requires more than just being nice.

It involves understanding the other person’s perspective, showing empathy, and being there for them in good times and bad. It means making the effort to keep in touch, to make plans, and to show up when it counts.

Building genuine connections also means being willing to work through conflicts instead of running away from them. It’s about making the effort to understand and respect each other’s differences, not just enjoying each other’s similarities.

9) You are not alone in feeling alone

Perhaps the most important truth I’ve learned about human connection is this: feeling alone is a universal human experience. At some point or another, we all feel isolated and disconnected. And knowing this can be incredibly comforting.

It’s easy to look around and think that everyone else has it all figured out, that they’re all surrounded by close-knit groups of friends or loving families. But the reality is, we all struggle with feelings of loneliness and disconnection from time to time.

 And it’s only by acknowledging our shared human experience that we can start to bridge the gap of disconnection and build meaningful, fulfilling connections.

At the heart of it all: Compassion

Exploring the depths of human connection brings us face to face with one undeniable truth – at the heart of all our relationships, lies compassion.

Compassion is the thread that weaves together our shared experiences, the glue that holds our relationships together. It’s the ability to empathize with others, to put ourselves in their shoes, and to acknowledge our shared human experience.

It’s through compassion that we’re able to connect on a deeper level, to understand and be understood. It’s what allows us to form bonds that go beyond surface-level interactions—bonds that are meaningful and fulfilling.

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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