The questions you ask yourself after letting someone go are tough.
Will they come back if you give them space?
How to make them come back after you’ve let them go?
Whether or not you’re actively working to get your ex back, looking for signs that they might return is only natural.
This article will dive deep into the signs that they want to come back to you and your relationship.
Let’s start digging, shall we?
10 signs they’ll be back in your arms after you’ve let them go
1) You broke up amicably
Time to go down remembrance lane.
What was the entire experience while dating your now ex? Get to the beginning, and think about the end too. When you’ve done this, think some more.
Are these words resonating with the relationship as a whole?
- Adventurous and Daring
If you’ve resonated with two or more of these, your ex will probably still be thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about them.
Be patient, we all need a moment of hindsight from time to time.
When you’ve not broken up over cheating, mind games, or something super important like, let’s say, life plans, well…
Your ex has to realize that you’re perfect for them at one point or another.
As we’ve said before, give it time.
They’ll come back!
2) This has happened before
If your relationship has had an on/off dynamic for some time, it’s logical to think they’ll come back eventually.
It’s actually one of the biggest signs to look for because it’s a pattern of behavior.
Is it healthy?
We can’t really judge you, so you know the answer to that.
It does mean that your ex will probably be knocking on your door soon, though.
Especially if this has happened more than one time before.
There’s nothing you should be doing except waiting, in this situation at least.
Live your life, and they’ll text eventually.
However, we can say that if this is a pattern, then they’ll break up with you to start it all over again.
Do you really want that in your life?
3) They made an impulsive decision
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, people say things they regret.
They can break up because they’re upset and fighting with you over something.
It’s a rash decision, we know.
It can mean that they’ll think things through and come back when they realize they were wrong.
If your relationship had deeper issues, it might not apply to you.
We mean stuff like jealousy, insecurity, and miscommunication.
If these issues have been eating away at the relationship for a while, we’re sorry to say you’re better off without them.
If it was just a one-time thing over something silly and they were triggered or simply overreacted, then you still have the chance to hear about them soon.
4) Your relationship was special
If you had talks with your ex about the relationship and you both felt it was something special, they might still come back.
What do we mean?
A special relationship is that where the people involved have great chemistry with each other and are super compatible.
There’s trust and love and lots of quality time together.
Also, lots of fun.
If your relationship wasn’t like this with anyone else, then you’ll probably get a call or a visit soon.
5) The problem can be fixed
If there was a big enough problem that you broke up, then something was wrong in the relationship.
This doesn’t mean the end, though.
In many cases, it just means having one – or several– difficult conversations.
You can fix things if you work through the issues.
Remember that you’re a team and you can grow together.
For example, if you couldn’t communicate your love to your partner in a way that mattered to them, then that’s probably what made them feel they had to end things with you.
But if either of you know what the issue was, then you’ll learn from the situation and you’ll hear about them soon enough.
6) They haven’t given your things back
This isn’t rocket science.
It is, in fact, one of the biggest signs you could see.
There are only two reasons why your ex kept your things and hasn’t given them back… and they’re connected.
First: they want you to communicate with them. Either through text, call, or even knocking on their door, they want to see you.
They don’t hate your guts.
They might even be crying over the memories associated with your things.
Second: they don’t want you gone from their life. They want to fix the problem.
They can think time will smooth things over, and give you both a clearer head when it’s time to talk.
These are good signs.
7) They justify their reasons to see you
Picture this: Sunday, six o’clock.
Your phone makes a sound.
It’s them! … contacting you about the shirt they left at your house.
They need to see you about their sore shoulders and you were their physiotherapist.
They have a legal issue with their landlord and you… you were their lawyer!
If their excuses to contact you are as lousy as these, they just want to see you.
Take these signs as an affirmative answer to your questions.
Yeah, they’ll come back.
8) They have not changed
We all make sure to be liked by our partners, whether or not we do it consciously.
It’s also pretty normal to change something after we break up. Hairstyle, clothing, a general “vibe”…
We all want to forget about our exes right after the crying stage.
If your ex hasn’t done any of these things, they probably don’t want to risk you not liking their changes.
If they haven’t changed, they can still pick up things where they left off.
They know what you like, after all.
Risking change means putting even more distance between you.
In a way, this is a sign that they’re making an effort to come back to you or talk about things at least.
If your ex hasn’t changed even a little bit, it’s a pretty telltale sign that they want to see you again.
9) They approach your family
If there are people that can help you change your mind, that’s your family.
If your ex is getting close to them again, it might be a way to test the waters and see if you’re approachable.
Especially if they know you love your family and their importance in your life.
It’s also an effort to patch things up indirectly, and find out more about your mindset at the moment.
They might even be trying to see how to win you over!
10) They’ve not bounced back after the breakup
If your ex is a man, they won’t admit how badly they’re going through the breakup.
It’s not the best thing to do for either party, honestly.
So, when they confess to you how much of a bad time they’re having after you’ve left their lives… it’s a good sign.
They want to make sure you know how important you are in their life.
They can try and get the message across through friends or family, even.
Exes that pretend they’ve never been happier do so mostly to fool themselves and ignore their pain anyway.
It’s normal to feel horrible after a breakup, and they might try to tell you how much they want to be back with you after that time.
What to do after they’re gone?
We’re sorry to say this, but…
You don’t really have a lot of control over these situations.
The things that determine whether your ex will come back or not are things that have already happened inside the relationship.
How well you got along, what the fight was about, their maturity and willingness to work through issues…
So, given that you can’t control their actions, let’s see what you can do while they’re gone.
Improve your looks
Feeling better about yourself sometimes starts by looking your best.
It’s an “outside in” kind of dynamic.
A “fake it till you make it,” if you will.
It also gives you the perfect excuse to focus on something other than your heartbreak and your actions.
It can even mess with their head: how are you this beautiful? Did he miss something while you were together? Are you with someone else?
The worst thing you can do is wallow in your pain and your broken heart. Sweat your feelings out, shop for nice things, go out with your friends or change your hairstyle.
Rub it in their face!
We support a bit of pettiness here.
Be your own best friend
Our ego shatters after a breakup, it’s the most natural thing in the world.
When you want them back, prioritize feeling good in your skin.
Be active in your recovery!
We don’t mean only the superficial stuff, like hitting the gym, no. We mean making an actual effort to live your life in a better way.
Change the things you’ve let go of for a long time, like bad habits or self-betrayal.
Sometimes, when people see how good you are now, they want to come back.
After the breakup, you need to re-balance the scales and remember yourself, especially if you tend to lose yourself in a relationship.
Think about your goals and see if you can still achieve them in the context of a relationship.
This is a great way to spend your time after a breakup, and if they come back, they’ll see you in a new light.
Step into your personal power!
Show them how true to yourself you are.
People that live their life to the fullest are the sexiest.
So, what would you say if I asked you what your purpose is?
It’s a hard question!
And there are far too many people trying to tell you it will just “come to you” and to focus on “raising your vibrations” or finding some vague kind of inner peace.
Self-help gurus are out there preying on people’s insecurities to make money and selling them on techniques which really don’t work for achieving your dreams.
Sage burning ceremonies with some vaguely indigenous chanting music in the background.
The truth is that visualization and positive vibes won’t bring you closer to your dreams, and they can actually drag you backwards into wasting your life on a fantasy.
But it’s hard to find your life balance when you’re being hit with so many different claims.
You can end up trying so hard and not finding the answers you need that your life and dreams begin to feel hopeless.
You want solutions, but all you’re being told is to create a perfect utopia inside your own mind. It doesn’t work.
So let’s go back to basics:
Before you can experience a real change, you need to really know your purpose.
I learned about the power of finding your purpose from watching Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown’s video on the hidden trap of improving yourself.
Justin used to be addicted to the self-help industry and New Age gurus just like me. They sold him on ineffective visualization and positive thinking techniques.
Four years ago, he traveled to Brazil to meet the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, for a different perspective.
Rudá taught him a life-changing new way to find your purpose and use it to transform your life.
After watching the video, I also discovered and understood my purpose in life and it’s no exaggeration to say it was a turning point in my life.
I can honestly say that this new way of finding success by finding your purpose actually helped me to understand who I really am and what I want in life besides having a relationship with a guy.
Don’t vent on social media
Social media is the worst after a breakup.
Your emotions are running high, and they are not the most positive either.
It’s so tempting to go on Facebook and post about how much of a bad person they were, or how heartbroken you are, or those selfies with a passive-aggressive caption…
Don’t do it!
Step away from that keyboard right now
We encourage you to take a nice, long break from social media. Or at least block them or hide their statuses.
You don’t have to fall into their mind games nor start some of your own right now.
Let the past go
The wound is fresh, the pain is real and you can’t help but think about all the things you miss right now.
Wouldn’t it be better to focus on happier stuff?
Lots of people lose their identities while in a relationship, and they need to recover them. You need to recover it!
Try all the things you used to enjoy when you were single and see how many of them still “spark joy”, as Marie Kondo would put it.
Even better, try all the things you couldn’t try because you were in a relationship and your partner didn’t like them!
Eat that food they didn’t enjoy, spend your evenings watching rom-coms and eating ice cream, do that facial treatment whenever you want, grow your body hair… whatever helps.
Space is a great way to get clarity on a situation. It’s your time to shine now!
Judge the relationship with a bit more objectivity and see if you really want your ex back.
Whether you do or not, you have the power to decide what you want to do with your life and your relationships.
Keep yourself busy
Obsessing over someone is very easy, especially when you’ve shared a relationship with them.
The best way to get over that someone is to keep your calendar filled and your mind busy.
It will help your mental health as well, and as a side effect, they might wonder why you’re not at their beck and call like you used to.
It can even send them spiraling into jealousy.
If they know what you do, your schedule, and the kind of life you like to live and you’re suddenly doing different things, it will make them feel insecure. Like they don’t know you.
So, learn new skills, make new friends, and practice that sport you never could get into while you were with them.
They might ask themselves if you’re slipping through their fingers like in that Abba song.
What if you found a nice, better life without them?
That will show them!
You won’t have a lot of free time to think about them, and that will prove to be great for you and really eye-opening for them.
Your thoughts affect your reality, so keep that mental health as good as you can.
Take all the effort you put into that relationship and apply it to your own life.
Believe us, it’s worth it!
To sum up
Judging whether or not someone will come back into your life after you’ve let them go isn’t easy.
What we can do is reassure you of the following: they won’t come back if you are still holding on to them and texting all the time.
Don’t be afraid to let people go, because you might find something infinitely better soon.
You might even find yourself!
Besides, your ex-partner might feel suffocated if you’re still contacting them at all hours of the day and letting them know how bad you feel.
This will reduce your chances to get them back to nothing.
Besides, how do you know if you really want to come back with them?
What if you find out you don’t want to be in a relationship with them anymore?
It is a possibility, especially if some time has gone by and you’ve found yourself to be great company.
What if you do want them back?
If you really want to get your ex back, you’re going to need a bit of help.
And the best person to turn to is Brad Browning.
No matter how ugly the breakup was, how hurtful the arguments were, he’s developed a couple of unique techniques to not only get your ex back but to keep them for good.
So, if you’re tired of missing your ex and want to start afresh with them, I’d highly recommend checking out his incredible advice.
If you let them go and focus on yourself, there is a great chance that they’ll see you’re good on your own and you’re not broken by other people’s actions.
We believe that, with the right mindset, a breakup can bring on a lot of positive change in someone’s life. You get the chance to improve yourself, work on your issues and get rid of the red flags– if you had them!
Are you really gonna miss your chance to shine?
Your light might attract them back after all.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.