We all want to win in life.
At least I do.
The question is: what does winning mean for you, and how do you achieve it?
Here’s a no-nonsense guide that’s a roadmap for living your best life.
18 no bullsh* ways to win at life and get ahead
1) Set clear goals
You can’t win if you don’t have a goal.
Whether it’s finances, relationships, health or career, you need to have an objective that defines winning for you.
Make your goal specific, measurable and possible. Write it down and work toward it relentlessly, while still leaving time for breaks and relaxation.
Work on yourself and meet people.
2) Power up
If you’re looking for no bullsh* ways to win and life and get ahead, look in the mirror.
The secret lies within.
That’s because the personal power you have inside yourself is far greater than you can imagine.
The problem is that so often self-doubt, the opinions of others and our negative inner monolog tells us we’re not worth squat and we’ll never make it.
So how can you overcome this insecurity that’s been nagging you?
The most effective way is to tap into your personal power.
You see, we all have an incredible amount of power and potential within us, but most of us never tap into it. We become bogged down in self-doubt and limiting beliefs. We stop doing what brings us true happiness.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people align work, family, spirituality, and love so they can unlock the door to their personal power.
He has a unique approach that combines traditional ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. It’s an approach that uses nothing but your own inner strength – no gimmicks or fake claims of empowerment.
Because true empowerment needs to come from within.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of and increase attraction in your partners, and it’s easier than you might think.
So if you’re tired of living in frustration, dreaming but never achieving, and of living in self-doubt, you need to check out his life-changing advice.
3) Treat others with respect and listen
You’re never going to like everyone you meet, nor should you try.
But I strongly encourage you to respect others as much as possible and listen to what they say.
You may learn more than you expect, and even your enemies and shitty people will say things that can be useful to you at times.
As for respect:
You’re best off respecting everyone you meet until and unless they give you a reason not to do so.
Start with an openness, but be smart.
Accept friendship warmly, but give out trust sparingly.
Listen to what others are saying, from a professor to a grocery store clerk. Never judge on outer labels.
4) Follow through
There’s one thing that almost every loser has in common:
Not following through.
They may have talent, energy, creativity and luck, but losers lack consistency.
They begin a project and then stop after a week because it’s becoming a drag.
They start a relationship and then hop out after three weeks because it’s becoming mildly stressful and boring them.
They save for the future but then make an impulse buy of the newest iPhone because the colors looked so sexy on the latest ad they just saw.
Winners do the opposite.
They plan long-term. They follow through and they get the job done.
If they fail, they start over.
If you want to win, start following through on everything you do.
5) Find your soulmate
None of us “need” someone, nor is being single a crime.
But finding your soulmate is definitely a big bonus.
The issue is that in life we meet and date so many people who just aren’t right for us, and it can lead to feelings of hopelessness and futility.
Why even bother, and how would you know for sure whether what you’re feeling is real love or just temporary lust or infatuation?
It’s a question that each of us struggles with, sometimes even after we’ve already met our soulmate.
But I have another suggestion on this as well.
Think of it as a shortcut…
Want an easy way to tell if someone really is ‘the one’?
Let’s face it:
We can waste a lot of time and energy with people who ultimately we’re not meant to be with. True love is hard to find and finding your soulmate is even harder.
However, I’ve recently stumbled upon a new way to figure it out which removes all the doubt.
I got a sketch drawn for me of my soulmate from a professional psychic artist.
Sure, I was a little skeptical going in. But the craziest thing happened – the drawing looks exactly like a girl I had recently met (and I know she likes me).
If you want to find out whether you’ve already met the one, get your own sketch drawn here.
I know it sounds far out, but like I said it was surprisingly accurate for me!
6) Learn to network
One person has far more power than he or she realizes as the personal power masterclass explains…
On the other hand, the power of networking should never be doubted.
Networking is all about building bridges and forming alliances.
It’s not codependency, it’s interdependency.
You hold up the slack where someone else falls short, and they do the same for you in return.
Together you take on the world in a stronger and unified way.
Plus, networking in terms of job seeking and your social life is epic. You meet so many people you never would have by random chance.
So what is it?
Simple: networking at its most basic level is just talking to other people and introducing yourself. Try to find something in common and stay in touch.
You never know when that insurance salesman you talked to in Kansas City is going to have the one idea that skyrockets your life into massive success.
7) Become a leader others look up to
Speaking of massive success, one of the best ways to win at life is to become someone who helps others win.
Strive to be a leader who others look up to, instead of a leader who looks down on others.
The difference is enormous.
When you set others up for success, you set yourself up for success.
“People want to play on a winning team and will see the manager that sets them up for success as a true leader.
“They will also recognize managers who do not set them up for this type of success.”
The key is to drop a zero-sum mindset.
You can win while helping others win. In fact, it’s much more likely than succeeding by pushing others down.
8) Pay attention to fitness
A big part of success is physical.
That may sound shallow, but it’s not.
If your body and health goes to waste, then everything else you do will fade in comparison.
It’s crucial to pay attention to fitness, diet and your physical health.
Without these building blocks in place, you can’t really do anything else, including more intellectual and scholastic pursuits.
While I would recommend against obsessively focusing on your health, nutrition and fitness, it should certainly play an important role in your life.
Eat well, exercise and get regular and restful sleep. It will do you well in all other areas of your life.
9) Drop the need for instant gratification
As I mentioned earlier, a common denominator of losers is inconsistency. A second and related characteristic of losers is the need for instant gratification.
Resist this at all costs.
We all want to reach out for the junk food of life. But the more we do it, the more we get hooked on quick fixes and false solutions to life’s challenges.
We also miss out on a huge amount of opportunities.
To truly succeed in life and be a positive factor in the life of others, you need to put in time, hard work and long-term strategic planning.
Ranged against us, is the constant impulse to take the easy way out:
The impulsive hook up, the drugs or booze, the us vs. them mentality, lashing out when we’re in a bad mood, eating what we want to save time, and so on.
“We want what we want without paying the price.
“We want what we want instantly, otherwise called instant gratification.
“We want to be the amazing programmer, the celebrated musician, the famed writer, the world-renowned artist, etc, without the effort. Without the price,” notes Jude King.
It’s not going to happen!
Commit to the long haul if you really want to win at life.
10) Get your money right
What do you think about money and earning money?
If you have enormous creativity, consistency, long-term thinking and talent, you have great tools for success!
But it won’t get you very far if you’re constantly broke.
Many of life’s biggest success stories took huge risks and loans to try projects and get their ideas off the ground, but even in those cases, financial liquidity was an important factor.
Like it or not, money is crucial in the world we live in.
And if you want to be a success, including in love, you need to get your money right.
I’m not saying that you should want to be with someone who likes you for your money.
What I am saying, rather, is that a lack of money and ongoing financial stress is enough to bust down many potentially great relationships and break up many loving marriages.
11) Stop believing in miracle spiritual cures
If you want to succeed and win at life, stop asking other people to do it for you.
There are all sorts of charlatans out there who will come running at your request.
They’ll take your money and leave you high and dry:
Worse off than when you started.
The truth is that spiritual addiction is a serious problem.
It’s great to be on a quest for the truth and finding your path, but never doubt the wisdom inside yourself.
This is the core of the shaman Rudá Iandê’s masterclass Free your Mind.
In this class he talks about suffering from spiritual addiction himself and gives you clear steps on how to break through it to find a healthy and empowering relationship with your spirituality.
The masterclass will help you to break through the toxic spirituality and connect with your innermost creativity and power.
12) Know when to tap out
A big part of winning and getting ahead in life is knowing when to drop an issue, a job, a relationship or an issue.
If you are fighting an uphill battle to achieve your dream, never give up!
But if you are wasting your time doing the same thing over and over – and failing each time – then you need to know when to cease and desist.
One of the common factors of winners and those who are satisfied with their lives is that they are willing to let some things go.
They take their failures head-on and sometimes have to fully accept that something is just not going to work out.
If you refuse to ever accept disappointment, rejection, betrayal or failure, you’ll end up wasting time and energy that doesn’t accomplish anything.
“You can’t win them all, and you shouldn’t expect to.
“You can learn a lot from missing the mark, but the important skill here is knowing when to throw in the towel.
“You can exert a lot of time and energy that would be better spent doing something else.”
13) Focus on reality, not fantasy
Many New Age and spiritual teachers lead people astray with their advice about how to succeed and find happiness.
They do it for various reasons, including raw profit.
But the fact is:
In fact, running from or compartmentalizing “negative” emotions like anger, fear and sadness will turn you into a tortured clown who runs in circles.
Stop denying who you are and shutting down half of your power.
Stop thinking that life is about always getting what you want or that believing is the same as achieving. This is childish.
Valuing a proactive mindset is wonderful, but never confuse reality for fantasy. Focus on what’s in front of you and do your best with that instead of swimming in fantasies and ideas of wish fulfillment.
It’s ironic, but the best way to get what you want is to understand and fully accept that you won’t always get what you want.
14) Collaborate wisely
In business, a big part of success is collaboration. Earlier I mentioned the crucial importance of networking, and that’s absolutely true.
On a related note, collaboration is the next level up.
Who you work together with and partner up with will have a big influence on your success.
You can never guarantee that you won’t be betrayed or disappointed, but you can choose who to work with when possible.
In many cases you may not have a choice and may be partnered with coworkers or people in various life situations who were not up to you.
But when you do have the choice, make sure to trust your gut and really pay attention to who you’re letting into your inner circle.
You deserve the best. Remember that.
15) Know your audience
A big part of success and getting ahead in life is knowing your audience.
I don’t just mean this in a business context, but in every sense including social aspects.
Many of us waste time pitching and interacting with – quite simply – the wrong audience.
Don’t get me wrong:
This is not about ignoring those who don’t agree with you or dividing people into superior or inferior.
It’s about paying attention to who’s around you in a proactive way.
If you’re a passionate beekeeper who wants to ensure the future of our biome and you dedicate years to trying to get a university to invest in your findings but the university is funded by a large synthetic honey corporation: you’re on the wrong track.
If you really want a traditional spouse and family but you keep going out to MDMA-fueled raves with people in their early 20s who just want to have fun and try to meet a “serious” partner, you’re wasting your time.
Pay attention to where you put your time and your energy. Respecting yourself is a big part of being respected by others.
Don’t waste your time!
16) Treat yourself well, but not too well
In line with finding and embracing your discomfort zone, it’s important not to pamper yourself.
Take challenges as an opportunity, not a roadblock.
At the same time, look after yourself in the basic ways.
Many of those who have the hardest experiences in life fall right into it by expecting others to look after them and becoming despondent when it doesn’t happen.
A common example is a man or woman in a marriage who expects their partner to care for their every need and lashes out in anger when that doesn’t happen.
But we all need to look after ourselves and tend to our needs.
Don’t expect anyone else to feed and clothe you: look after yourself!
17) Get inspired
A key part of greatness happens in our mind and heart.
As I said, the idea that positive thinking creates success is overly simplistic and childish.
But there is zero doubt that being on fire and inspired greatly increases what you can get done and the scope of your creativity and reach.
Watch the speech by motivational speaker Les Brown. He was once labeled as retarded and destined to amount to nothing. He went on to become a worldwide leader in motivating and inspiring others.
As Brown says, when you face and survive the setbacks and let-downs along the path of chasing your dreams, it will make you “realize that you have greatness within you.”
18) Play to your strengths
Many people are almost winners at life, but they fail for a simple reason:
They try to force themselves to win at someone else’s game.
Don’t be these people.
Find your strengths and then double down on them.
If you’re an incredible mathematician, don’t try to force yourself to become a lawyer just because your family wants you to.
If you’re highly attracted to a job that uses your skills in communication, don’t force yourself to become an engineer where you’d be focused on spatial calculations and design.
Win by doing what you’re good at!
Are you winning yet?
What is winning for you?
Maybe it’s a spouse and a happy family. Maybe it’s your physical health and an inner sense of integrity and energy.
Maybe it’s giving back to your community and improving society with the use of your personal wealth.
Maybe it’s just getting filthy rich and having a swimming pool the size of the Australian Outback.
I’m not here to tell you what winning is – or should be – for you.
What I am here to tell you is that if you’re reading this, you’re already on the right path.
You’re facing your insecurities and doubts and moving forward anyway.
You’re also embracing reality.
And the reality is:
Winning is not about “universal love” or becoming a perfect human specimen.
Quite the opposite.
It’s about embracing who you are as a complete, flawed and temperamental human being.
It’s about embracing the constant change and ups and downs of life and keeping your inner spark alive through it all.
You’ve got this.
Don’t stop believing, and keep winning!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.