Regardless of how long you’ve been with your man, it’s always a good idea to keep things passionate and steamy.
High levels of intimacy and sex can work wonders for your relationship. Not only does it mean you get to spend more time together, sex and being affectionate both release happy hormones (oxytocin and dopamine) which, let’s face, no one can have enough of.
Maybe you’ve fallen into your routines and habits, or you’re both tired from work every evening. Either way, one of you has to make the first move to inject some passion into your relationship.
Seducing your man can come in many different ways, some of which don’t even require physical contact. Read on for 30 fail-proof ways to turn your man on, and you’ll be surprised at just how easy it is to get him in the mood.
15 ways to turn him on without touch
These tips below are easy to do and can be done with little or no preparation. As small as they might be, they’ll have a big impact on your partner and are certain to arouse him, regardless of where you are or what you’re doing:
1. Go commando
Letting your man know that you’re going commando can be a massive turn on. Casually let it slip at the start of your next date and it’ll be all he can think about. The build-up and anticipation will be immense, and you can play on this until you finally get some privacy together.
2. Use confidence to turn him on
There’s nothing sexier than a confident woman. But being confident doesn’t mean you have to come across as stuck up or a know-it-all. Be confident about who you are, your likes and dislikes, and about your career or hobbies.
Let him know that you’re in control of your life, and you are secure with who you are. A woman who has her mind made up and is at peace with who she is can be very attractive, and the chances are he will find you irresistible.
For tips on how to build your confidence and be a strong, independent woman, check out this ebook, ‘Why Men Love Strong Women’.
3. Make eye contact
Eye contact is one of the most important signals in letting someone know your intentions. As the old saying goes, ‘the eyes are the gateway to the soul’. You can turn your man on just by giving him a lingering look across the table, or by making bedroom eyes at him when you’re in a room full of people.
Your shared, stolen glances will definitely leave him lusting for more.
4. Wear something slightly revealing …
If wearing revealing clothing isn’t really your style, fear not. You can still easily turn a man on just by making small changes to your style.
For example, let your top slip off the shoulder so he can see your bra strap. Or, pull your skirt down ever so slightly so that he gets a glimpse of your midriff and tummy. It’ll look like it happened by accident, but he’ll definitely take notice.
5. But leave some things for his imagination
Following on from the previous point, you want to show him a glimpse of the goodies but you don’t want to give it all away upfront.
Men enjoy using their imagination, it’s all part of the hunting process. By revealing too much, you take away that element of surprise. Find ways to show off your sexiness without actually revealing it.
This can be by wearing clothes that fit you perfectly, tops with a V cut to show a bit of cleavage and shorts/skirts/trousers which accentuate your hips and bum.
6. Treat him like a hero
Treating your man like a real hero will not only turn him on, it’ll make you irresistible to him. In his bestselling book ‘His Secret Obsession’, psychologist James Bauer explains his new concept of the ‘hero instinct’ which all men possess, and how women can easily activate it.
By making your man feel wanted, appreciated, and valued in his relationship, you’ll trigger a biological urge in him which will make your man crave you in ways he never has before.
To learn more about the hero instinct and how you can trigger it in your man, check out James Bauer’s free video on the hero instinct here.
7. Tease him
Teasing your partner keeps the conversation and atmosphere light-hearted and fun. You can have a laugh with your partner, gently poke and make fun of him but make sure not to bring up sensitive areas that might offend him.
Not only will gently teasing him better the bond between you, but it’ll also make him feel relaxed and turned on, especially if you include a little bit of flirting in the teases.
8. Have a sense of humor
Having a sense of humor is extremely attractive, and any guy will appreciate a woman who can take a joke (and dish them out). If you want to turn on your man, make him laugh.
Laughing releases feel-good endorphins, and when you’re both feeling good, you’ll automatically increase the chances of him feeling more intimate with you.
Ladies, don’t underestimate the power of a smile. Timed right, a sexy, lingering smile whilst making eye contact can drive your man crazy. Not only is it attractive, but it also sends him positive energy signals, which will make him feel more connected to you.
So much can be communicated without words or touch, and depending on the type of smile you give your man, he’ll be left to imagine and fantasize over these subtle facial expressions until you get home.
Roleplay can be as big or as small as you want it to be. Maybe you decide to go all out and get into character with a costume and props, or you quietly introduce role play over dinner, adding some spontaneity into your evening.
For example, pretending that you are strangers who are meeting for the first time can add a buzz of excitement into an otherwise normal conversation. It’ll take him by surprise and the tension and excitement that you’ll build in your roleplay will certainly get him in the mood.
11. Flirt with him
This might seem like an obvious answer but many of us forget to flirt after those first few dates. As we become more comfortable and secure with him, conversations start turning back to reality, they become more serious and less exciting.
If you want to turn your man on without even touching him, transport yourself back to when you first met, when any little thing could be turned into a flirtatious joke or comment. He’ll soon get the message.
12. Wear red
Red is bold, bright, and eye-catching. It stands out and it’s certainly one of the sexiest colors to use when trying to turn a man on.
PsychologyToday explored and confirmed the idea that red is seen as sexy. Interestingly, they also found that ‘color influences our judgments in an automatic and primarily unconscious manner.’
So men are not necessarily aware that it’s a turn on, but through society and what we are used to seeing in films, red is naturally associated with sexiness.
And it makes sense; red lingerie, red lipstick, red roses, and red wine are symbols of romance and sex, so it’s natural that he’ll get turned on if you add a little red into your style.
13. Create a sexy atmosphere
Your atmosphere can either make or break your chances of turning on your man. No matter how great you look, if you’re somewhere distracting, loud, and busy, the chances are your man (and you) will find it hard to concentrate on each other.
Instead, create a calm, soothing atmosphere. If you’re indoors, close the curtains, light some candles to add a sexy glow to the room and play some sensual music in the background.
If you’re outside, perhaps on a date, find a cozy corner in the bar, sit close together and make sure your focus is solely on him.
14. Talk about your fantasies and turn-ons
Turning on a man doesn’t have to all be about him, just hearing your fantasies will be enough to get him aroused and interested.
Regardless of how long you’ve been with your man if you feel comfortable enough try sharing some of your darkest, wildest dreams and let him in on what really turns you on. Not only will this make it easy for him to visualize you in a sexual way, but he may also even take it on board and make some of your fantasies come true. It’s a win for both.
15. Write him a naughty note
For convenience’s sake, you can also send a naughty text, but there’s something sexy about finding a hidden note tucked away in your coat pocket with an alluring message handwritten on it.
Maybe the note is a promise of a good night to look forward to when he finishes work, or something more direct and to the point to get him turned on. Either way, he’ll spend all day becoming more and more excited to see you.
15 ways to physically turn him on
So now that you’ve got the lowdown on how to turn him on without even touching him, here are some tips on how to physically turn him on and make him crave you.
16. Stroke him…pretty much anywhere
Aside from the most obvious place which you’re probably thinking of, stroking your man’s chest, face, tummy, and elsewhere can be a huge turn on.
The next time you’re out at dinner, a subtle stroke of his inner thigh is sure to send him into an excited frenzy, and dessert will definitely be the last thing on his mind.
17. Let him touch you
When it comes to turning him on, you are your most powerful tool. So, do what you have to do to have nice, smooth skin. Exfoliate and moisturize your skin after showering, and use a light (not overpowering) perfume to gently scent yourself.
Playing with different textures can be sexy and arousing, and a man can easily get turned on just by stroking your arm or legs.
18. Kiss him passionately
Kisses are a sure way to let your man know you mean business, but it depends on how you kiss him.
A small, quick peck often symbolizes comfort as well as love. A lingering kiss or even a passionate makeout session will arouse him far more. And don’t stop there, kiss him all over. As you move around his body, you’ll learn where his sensitive parts are and where he can’t help but shiver in excitement.
19. Gentle biting
Biting softly (or even a little harder if your partner likes and consents to it), can be a great way to get them in the mood. Areas like the neck are full of nerve endings, so a few nibbles as you kiss will definitely send tingles down his spine.
Marriage and sex therapist Jane Greer explains the effects of biting your partner, “It’s a way of saying how much you desire your partner—you’re literally eating him up.”
So whilst biting his body can be a great way to turn him on, be careful not to get too caught up in the moment and bite too hard, and definitely ease up as you work your way down south.
20. Add some excitement to your intimacy
When it comes to sex and intimacy, don’t be afraid to experiment. Using toys or trying new positions can spicy things up in the bedroom, and do the work of turning your partner on for you.
There’s also the use of heat and ice which can really arouse the neuroreceptors in your partner’s skin. Cosmopolitan looked into how different temperatures can be used to make sex more fun, and they found that, ‘stimulation through heat or cold gives the body a rush of sensations that, during foreplay, is translated into arousal.’
Everyday household items can be used, from ice cubes, melted chocolate to heated edible oils (specifically designed for sex and foreplay).
21. Run your hands through his hair
Running your hands through his hair can be both sensual and affectionate. The scalp is a sensitive place, and running your hands over it and gently tugging at the hair from time to time can be very arousing for both men and women.
The next time you want to get your man in the mood, start by slowly stroking his hair and intensifying it as he gets turned on.
22. Massage him
Everyone enjoys a relaxing massage, and for men, setting the right environment can definitely turn a massage into something more. A sensual, therapeutic massage can increase the intimacy and affection between you and your partner, and it’s also a great way to build up anticipation and excitement.
Set the mood by making sure he’s comfortable, dim the lights, and create a dark and cozy atmosphere. Use massage oils so that you can glide over his skin smoothly, and once you hit the right spots, he won’t be able to stop himself from being turned on.
23. Play fight
This is the physical version of teasing each other. Play fighting is fun, lighthearted, and flirtatious, all in one go. It’s an excuse to touch each other, explore each other’s bodies, and work yourselves into new, funky positions.
Not only can you wrestle him into intimate positions, the chances are you’ll both be laughing and having a good time, all the ingredients needed to excite and arouse him.
24. Hold or hug him tightly
A hug can be a powerful action. It’s a great way to communicate without words, and depending on how you hug him, you turn him on by making him feel supported and desired.
To let him know that you’re looking for more, hug him tightly, and press your body against his. You can use your hands to rub his back or grip his arms and breathe gently into his neck.
25. Play footsie under the table
Playing footsie is a classic move that still works without fail. There’s nothing more exhilarating for him than you subtly rubbing your foot against and up his inner leg, especially if you’re out in public.
The fact that you can’t touch each other except with your feet makes it more of a challenge, and being surrounded by other people means you have to maintain self-control – all adding to the excitement of what’s to come later.
26. Find his sensitive spots
As with women, men have different erogenous zones and each man differs in where their hot spots are. These are the parts of your body that make you aroused when they’re touched, and many people underestimate how many different points there are on the body.
For example, the most commonly known areas are the neck, ears, or (for men) his sensitive parts. But, the wrists, inner thighs, and bottom of the feet are also turn on points in both men and women.
Find out what works for your man by gently exploring his body with your hands or mouth, and let his body movements guide you to where he’s the most sensitive.
27. Touch yourself
If you want to turn your man on without working for it, try by simply pleasuring yourself. Make sure he can see what you’re doing, and go about your business. Chances are he’ll find you much more fascinating than whatever he’s watching on TV.
To take things a step further, invite him to join in. Before you know it, he’ll be completely engrossed in what you’re both doing that nothing else will be able to distract him.
28. Make the first move
There’s a common misconception that men should always make the first move. From films to books, we see guys start kissing or initiating foreplay, but that does not say that men don’t want to feel pursued or wanted.
Instead of waiting for him to turn you on, try surprising him by making the first move. The next time you kiss, don’t wait for him to start to undress you and touch you. Do it first, and he’ll enjoy following your lead.
29. Perform a striptease
If the idea of performing a striptease sounds too cringy for you – don’t worry. It doesn’t have to be serious or well acted out, but the point is you’ll turn him on and you’ll both have fun in the process.
Even if you can’t or don’t feel comfortable dancing, whack on some sexy music and undress in front of him slowly. He won’t be able to take his eyes off the show and he’ll appreciate you for trying something new.
30. Whisper in his ear
Whispering automatically pulls you closer to your partner and forces them to concentrate on you and your voice. Couple that with whispering your naughty intentions into his ear and he’ll have a tough time thinking of anything else.
It’s also a great gateway to some of the previous points mentioned, like kissing erogenous zones such as his neck or ear lobes.
When it comes to intimacy and pleasing our partners, it can be tough trying to build healthy relationships. I highly recommend this free masterclass, ‘Love and Intimacy’ by world-renowned Shaman, Rudá Iandê, which teaches you how to find your inner peace so that you can create better relationships.
As you can see from the points above, there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t turn an otherwise mundane Tuesday evening into a night of passion and pleasure. Intimacy, as well as being fun for both of you, also greatly improves the bond you share and can pave the way to a solid, long-lasting relationship.
So take control, find out what works best for turning your man on, and enjoy the benefits of making him want you whenever you feel like it.