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38 things to do with your boyfriend to test whether he is the one

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Have you ever wondered if your boyfriend is really ‘the one’?

The good news is you can test if he’s your soulmate (or not.) All you need to do is one (or several) of the 38 tests below.

Let’s get started!

1) Converse about the future.

Do your boyfriend’s eyes light up whenever you talk about the future?

Or does he shy away from it – and steer the conversation towards something else?

If your beau is the former, then it’s a sign that he’s the one.

Remember: this test should be just as reciprocal. If you’re just as willing to discuss the future, then it’s essentially telling him that you’re ‘the one’ too.

2) Talk ‘intimate’ things with your boyfriend.

When I say intimate things, it’s not just about sex and the likes.

If your boyfriend is indeed the one, he shouldn’t hold back when it comes to deep (even embarrassing topics.)

He should be able to talk to you about the ‘darkest’ parts of his life, be it about his childhood, his past relationships, and whatnot.

The same test applies to you, of course. If he’s your soulmate, then you should be able to discuss the most intimate parts of your life with him.

3) Introduce your boyfriend to all of your friends.

Maybe you’re in that part of the relationship where everything has gotten deeper. Needless to say, this is the best time for you to introduce your boyfriend to your friends.

Observe how they interact.

It may be awkward at first, but are they faring better as time progresses?

It’s good if they do.

Remember: if you and your boyfriend are in it for the long haul, he’s going to have to deal with your pals too!

4) Observe how he spends money.

While you may love each other like crazy, it’s not the only thing that runs the relationship.

Money is a significant deciding factor too.

In fact, ⅓ of couples report money as a great source of conflict in their relationships.

If you want to know for sure that he’s the one, then observe how he spends money.

It’s best if you can balance your expenditures out, especially if you’re one big shopaholic. You don’t want to come across money problems in the future, after all.

5) Miss his calls ‘accidentally.’

Relationships are not always smooth-sailing. There are bound to be annoyances along the way, so it’s good to test for them right now.

One of the best ways to gauge how he responds to minor annoyances is to miss his calls accidentally.

Will he take this in stride, or will he throw a hissy fit?

Missing his calls is also a way to test his concern for you.

If he doesn’t stop calling – or if he keeps on sending texts for you to call him back right away – then it’s a sign that he cares deeply for you.

6) Intentionally run late to a date.

Patience is a virtue, especially when it comes to relationships. Well, you can test it – just like the way he might test yours – by running late to a date.

Does he stay patient – or does he get up and leave right away?

You’d want a soulmate who’s the former, of course. For one, patient people are “more cooperative, more empathic, more equitable, and more forgiving.”

A study also goes on to add:

“Patience may enable individuals to tolerate flaws in others, therefore displaying more generosity, compassion, mercy, and forgiveness.”

Don’t we want these all in a soulmate?

7) Observe him while you’re both stuck in traffic.

Another way to test his patience – and overall demeanor – is to see how he acts whenever he’s stuck in traffic.

Granted that people are predestined to be angry in heavy traffic, this will help observe crucial cues in your partner.

How does he deal with the hold-up?

Does he go crazy – or does he remain zen, as if nothing affects him?

If you get married in the future – you’re bound to meet similar (if not more challenging) obstacles.

You’d want to be with a person who keeps calm and composed – even if things have gone down the drain.

8) Take him on a whole-day shopping spree.

As mentioned, relationships require a lot of patience.

In fact, it’s a crucial ingredient for a long-lasting marriage.

One of the best ways to test your boyfriend’s patience is to take him on a whole-day shopping spree.

There’s going to be a lot of this in the future, after all.

This will give you a bird’s eye view of how he deals with waiting – and boredom, too.

As a bonus, he may be the ‘voice’ that will tell you when to stop!

9) Take away his phone for a few hours (or a day, even.)

Another way to test his patience is to keep him phone-free for a few hours (a day, even.)

This will help you see how he reacts during extreme boredom.

Will he find a way to amuse himself, or will he go crazy and ‘force’ you to return his phone?

Needless to say, this will help you gauge how he might deal with similar circumstances in the future.

10) Work out with your boyfriend.

Maybe you’re both too busy with work that you’ve let yourselves go.

Apart from regaining your sexy bodies back, working out with him can help you test whether or not he’s the one.

For one, it can give you an insight into his determination – which is undoubtedly a crucial element for any relationship.

Does he stick through the exercise plan, despite having to wake up early for it?

The best thing about working out with your beau is more than the testing that comes with it.

It also offers a bevy of things that will benefit your relationship, such as:

  • Increased emotional bond
  • Enhanced mutual commitment
  • More happiness!

11) Go on a diet with him.

Just like working out with your boyfriend, going on a diet with him will help you test if he’s really the one.

Again, this will help test their determination. You’d want a boyfriend who pushes through adversities, after all.

Another good thing about dieting with him?

According to dietitian Anna Kippen, it gives you “the opportunity to ask him for support.”

You’d want someone whom you can rely on, and this is one good (and healthy) way to determine so.

“They may appreciate the request and be happy to help,” she adds.

12) Go clubbing with your boyfriend.

If you love dancing the night away, taking your boyfriend to the club is an excellent way to test him.

In fact, it can help you determine a variety of things, such as:

  • How he handles alcohol
  • The way he looks at other girls
  • His reaction when other guys look at you
  • His ‘gentlemanliness’
  • His ability to befriend others

Better yet, it can give the reprieve that you both need! Who doesn’t want to let loose after a terrible week at the office?

13) Ask your boyfriend to cook food for you.

Unless your boyfriend is a chef (or a great cook), you can test him by asking him to cook for you.

Not only will this show his willingness to help (in the kitchen or otherwise,) this will help you check his independence too.

Just don’t expect too much from his dish, though, especially if he’s new to this!

Remember: you won’t always be able to cook food for him in the future. It’s nice to know if he can serve himself when the time comes.

14) Ask your boyfriend to buy you an outfit.

If your boyfriend is indeed the one, he should know your taste, especially in fashion.

A fun way to test this is to ask him to buy you an outfit.

If he nails everything – from the style to the sizes – then it’s a sign that he’s the one for you.

If he fails, you shouldn’t necessarily kick him to the curb, though. It may be a sign that you need to communicate more.

In fact, here’s a link on how to get your man to answer your questions (and ask some, too.)

15) Tell your boyfriend to ‘surprise’ you.

While you needn’t ask him to surprise you (he should do this independently), it’s an excellent way to test him.

Again, it’s a way for you to check if he knows what you really like.

According to author Erin Leyba, Ph.D.:

“One way to make kindness “come alive” in your relationship is by surprising your partner for no reason at all.”

Just like asking him to buy an outfit, you know you’ve got a keeper if he has indeed managed to surprise you.

16) Ask your boyfriend to take you out on a ‘wine and dine’ experience.

Every lady wants to be spoiled – even the independent ones!

Asking him to treat you to a wine and dine experience is a great way to check his hero instinct.

It’s his drive to “provide for those he cares about, including his family, friends and especially his romantic partner.”

As relationship coach Amie Leadingham puts it:

“A lot of men still subscribe to that goal of wanting to nurture a woman, to protect and provide.”

17) Ask for an expensive (but not so expensive) gift.

Another way to trigger his hero instinct is to ask for an expensive gift.

Will he step up and give you the ring you’ve always wanted?

A word of caution, though: if your boyfriend is in an unpleasant financial situation, ask for a reasonably-priced gift as well. You don’t want your beau to end up in debt just to prove his love for you.

Remember, it’s the thought that counts!

18) Disagree with your boyfriend – in a public place.

Disagreements are common in relationships, whether he’s your soulmate or not.

So if you want to spend the rest of your life with him, you need to see how he addresses problems and issues.

Say you get in a disagreement with him in a public place – maybe in front of your family and friends.

How does he go about with this?

Does he do so respectfully? Or does he just explode and walk out?

Remember: you’d want a partner who can solve problems on his feet. As a bonus, this could help uncover his witty or funny side as well!

19) Ask him to accompany you to an event that you like.

Relationships are all about respecting each other’s differences. You might like something that he doesn’t – and you want him to be OK with this.

You can test the waters by inviting him to an event you like.

Sure, he might roll his eyes throughout the presentation.

What’s important, however, is that he stays put.

He knows you love this specific thing. If he is indeed the one, he should be more than willing to endure it for you.

He’ll be dealing with a lot of these events in the future, after all!

20) Ask your boyfriend to do something ‘girly’ with you.

Apart from taking him to an event you like (and he despises), you can test your boyfriend by taking him to a girly activity.

For example, you may ask him to do nails with you.

Sure, he may mess up your nails – but you should definitely give him an A+ for effort!

Doing these things with you means he isn’t set back by toxic masculinity.

He’s comfortable enough in his shell – and willing to participate in the girly things you love doing.

21) Ask your boyfriend to run some errands.

Let’s face it – we girls often have the task of doing the groceries, cooking food, and what have you.

You know for yourself that you’re a good woman to marry – but is he a good man to be with, too?

Well, one of the ways to test this is to ask him to do some errands.

For example, you may ask him to do the groceries if you’re running late.

Is he willing to do it – even if he can’t physically tell lettuce from cabbage?

Even if he messes things up, it’s good to know that he’s willing to do something – even if he’s no expert in it. It’s a sign that he’s ready to make the necessary sacrifices for your relationship.

22) See how your boyfriend reacts when you’re sick.

You’d want your soulmate to be able to take care of you, especially when push comes to shove.

The good news is you can test this early on in the relationship.

How does he deal with you being sick?

Does he pull out all the stops for you, even though it means getting sick as well?

If you’re in an LDR, does he make sure that you’re well taken care of – even if he’s far away?

If he makes you feel looked after – and pampered even – then it’s a sign that he’s indeed the one for you.

23) Volunteer for an organization.

It goes without saying that volunteering comes with a lot of benefits. It can help improve your physical and mental health, among many other things.

But did you know that it’s a good way to test your boyfriend too?

For one, this will help you see how he’ll respond to you spending your time on other causes. Relationships are all about give and take. In essence, you’d want a beau who appreciates your benevolent efforts – even if it takes some time away from him.

24) Donate to charity.

What does your boyfriend say whenever you donate to charity?

If he’s proud of you for doing this – and even volunteers to give money as well – then it’s a sign that he’s the one.

If he believes it to be a waste of time and money, then you may want to consider ending the relationship. You don’t want to be with a guy who makes you feel bad and puts down your beliefs.

25) Go on a vacation with him.

Traveling is more than just discovering new sights with your boyfriend. It’s a way to test if he is indeed the one for you.

According to author Sonal Kwatra Paladini – who met her husband while backpacking – travel can strengthen (or weaken) your relationship because:

  • You both see the worst in each other.
  • You get to gauge each other’s reactions when things go wrong.
  • It puts issues regarding space and trust out in the open.
  • It helps you converse – even confront things, as needed.
  • It helps you both compromise.
  • Traveling with each other requires a lot of teamwork!

26) Celebrate the holidays with him and his family (and vice-versa.)

Just like travel, spending the holidays with your SO should help you test whether he’s the one for you.

It gives you a bird’s eye view of how he deals with relatives, especially those he doesn’t particularly like.

As matchmaker Ashley Campana puts it:

“The holidays are stressful for everyone. Multiply that by two people together for the holidays, a dash of family, and a sprinkle of expectations, and it’s a likely scenario that the stress level will be higher than it would be alone.”

To make things better, spending the holidays with each other’s families will give an idea of how the holidays will go with your future kids.

27) Ask your boyfriend to do something for your family.

If he is indeed the one, he’ll love your family as much as he loves you.

You can test this by asking him to do something for your family.

Does he pull out all the stops – the way he’ll do for you? Or does he grumpily, half-heartedly do the favor – simply because you asked him?

You’d want a soulmate who’ll do as much for your family as you would. They’re the most important thing in your life, after all.

Just remember: your boyfriend may leave – your family won’t.

28) Ask your boyfriend to get a gift for someone else.

Apart from doing things for your family, you’d want your boyfriend to do the same for the ‘other’ important people in your life.

An easy way to test this is to ask him to get a gift for your best friend.

Will he be more than happy to take on this task, even if he’s busy with work?

This test will help you determine his consideration for the people who’re close to your heart.

29) Ask your boyfriend to attend a family occasion that you can’t participate in personally.

Attending family functions is stressful enough, but can he do this – even if you’re not around?

Needless to say, you know you’ve found your soulmate if he puts your happiness above all else.

Sure, he may not be totally at ease with your strict father around. But he knows how much it means to you – and he’ll do it for you, no questions asked.

30) Ask him to pick up a friend who’s in trouble.

You may have a friend who needs your help. Unfortunately, you may be stuck at work or someplace else.

That said, you know your boyfriend is the one if he’s willing to take on the task.

He’s more than ready to pick up your friend, for he knows it’ll make you happy.

And, as your soulmate, he knows how crucial it is to put your happiness above all else.

31) Ask family or friends if he ‘gossips’ about you.

If he’s the one, he should be loyal to you 100%.

Even if he’s close to your family and friends, he should be able to keep his mouth zip about your issues.

You can test this loyalty simply by asking around. In some cases, you might not even have to wait for a family or friend to speak up.

32) Take your boyfriend to a work event.

Your boyfriend has to deal with more than just your family or friends. They need to put up with your workmates as well.

If you want to know how they’ll go about this, you should take them to a work event.

How does he interact with your colleagues – and your bosses?

Does he put in a good word about you – or does he end up blabbering about your daily work complaints?

At the end of the day, you’d want a partner who can tolerate all the intricacies of your job – and the people that come with them.

33) Bring him to events with different dress codes.

You’d want a boyfriend who can follow directions (or requests) no matter how rebellious he might be.

A subtle way of testing this is to take him to parties that require different dress codes.

Can he clean himself up – and put on a tux – when need be?

If he does, then it’s a sign that he can make sacrifices for you – even if it means abandoning his personality (or fashion style) for a brief moment.

34) Invite your boyfriend to a dress-up party.

It’s no secret that most women like funny guys. But if your boyfriend can’t throw a joke to save his life, it doesn’t mean you should kick him to the curb right away.

He may have a different definition of fun, which you can quickly test by taking him to a dress-up party.

Is he literally down to clown, especially when it comes to dressing up?

If he is, then it’s a great sign. You don’t want to be trapped in a humorless relationship, after all.

35) Attend a party that will go past midnight.

You’d want to be with someone who’s 100% serious about the relationship.

But as mentioned, you’d want a partner who can get loose from time to time.

You can check this out by taking your boyfriend to an all-night party.

Is he willing to get down and have a good time?

This is especially crucial for long-term relationships, which could get pretty boring as time progresses.

36) Host an event with him.

If you’re thinking of getting married to your boyfriend, you need to gauge his entertainment skills.

One good way to do this is to host an event with him.

Just think of this: both of you will be hosting parties in the future, whether it’s for friends and family.

You’d want someone who has your back during these times.

Hosting a party with him will give you a good idea of his entertainment skills – something that’ll definitely come in handy for the future.

37) Ask him to babysit with you.

He may have hinted that he wants to have a baby with you.

But how will he actually deal with your kids in the future?

Well, you can take on a practice run by asking him to babysit with you.

It goes without saying that you’ve got a keeper on your hands if he makes an effort – even if he’s having a hard time getting the baby in a onesie.

It’s also a bonus if he doesn’t mind the incessant crying!

38) Your psychic has told you so!

Psychics are intuitive and gifted individuals who can help guide you through the relationship process.

So if they tell you that he’s the one, you best believe them!

Remember: they have abilities such as precognition and clairvoyance – where they can see things and events happening in the near future.

If the tests mentioned above have left you second-guessing, you can get the confirmation you need from a trusted psychic.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

Written by Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

You can reach me at [email protected]

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