It’s no secret that telling someone you like them is a complicated process.
I’m a guy, and I’ve found it virtually impossible my whole life.
But the truth is, once you learn a few techniques, it becomes WAY easier.
The best bit?
You’ll feel way better after you’re able to express how you feel.
So if you want to tell someone you like them, look no further than these tips:
1) Wait for the right moment
Let’s be honest: You can’t tell someone you like them when you’re walking past them on the street.
They might be in a rush, they might have somewhere to go, and the whole thing could end up being awkward.
So, keep this in mind:
You need to pick a moment where you’re both relaxed and in private.
It’s also helpful if you’re engaged in an activity, like going for a walk, having a coffee or eating an ice-cream.
2) However, there will never be a perfect moment
You’ll never stumble upon the “perfect moment.” It just won’t happen.
In the end, you’re going to have to rip the band-aid off and ask them out.
So if you’ve decided to do it, do it, and don’t wait for a time that’s “perfect.”
One of the most important things you can do when you decide you want to tell him how you feel is to tell him as soon as possible.
This isn’t for their benefit, obviously, because they have no idea how you feel.
This is for your benefit. The sooner you tell them how you feel, the sooner you can find out how they feel, and the sooner you can get back into your regular life or begin a new chapter with them.
The longer you put off telling them how you feel, the worse it is going to feel and the harder it is going to be to do because you’ll build it up in your mind as something it’s simply not.
Of course, you might also allow yourself to back out if you wait too long and then who can know what might have been?
3) Don’t tell others
Confessing your love for someone is a tricky thing and despite your best intentions to get advice from your friends or even your family, don’t do it.
It’s best to wait until after you talked to your crush so that you aren’t influenced by what anyone else might have provided to you in the way of advice.
Plus, people who don’t want to see you get hurt might try to convince you that this is a bad idea, but it’s not.
Go with your gut. Do what feels right and then let the rest of the world in on your choices so that they can’t judge you ahead of time.
4) You’re going to feel nervous and anxious – but that’s normal
Your heart will race. Your stomach will churn. Adrenalin will run through your body. Don’t worry, it’s normal.
After all, telling someone you like them isn’t an easy process. It makes EVERYONE nervous.
So lighten up and don’t get worried when you’re feeling nervous. Enjoy it. It’s actually quite exciting.
5) Stop thinking about the future of what COULD happen
I know how this goes. You can’t stop thinking about the future. You’re going to grow old together, have babies and live happily ever after.
While it’s fun to think of, it’s only going to make it a huge deal when you tell them you like them.
In the end, that story in your head doesn’t matter. It isn’t real, and it may or may not happen.
The number one thing you need to do is tell yourself the outcome is irrelevant and that you are doing this to fulfill your desire.
It’s not about showboating or showing off to get their attention and you don’t need to try really hard to get them to want to be with you.
Whatever you do, decide ahead of time that it is okay if your crush isn’t interested and have a game plan for moving on quickly if things don’t go your way.
What’s more, you want to make sure that you are okay with that and that you can move on quickly by playing it cool.
Even if you break down into a thousand pieces behind close doors when you finally get home, you need to keep it together in front of them.
What matters is living in the moment and getting through the first stage of telling them how you feel.
6) Why do you want to tell them you like them?
This is important to consider. You need to work out if you genuinely like them for who they are, or if they’re more sinister reasons that won’t help you or them.
For example, if you like them because you want to be seen with them to make you look cool, then your intentions aren’t very meaningful.
The connection will be superficial, which will end up hurting you and them.
But if you like them because they give you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside and you appreciate them for who they are, then it’s a great sign that you genuinely like them.
If that’s the case, you should continue with your plans of telling them you like them.
7) You are going out of your comfort zone
As we’ve said, none of this will be easy. This is something you probably haven’t done before, so of course, you’re not going to feel comfortable.
You can’t control their reactions, either. What happens will happen, and it might not be you’ve envisioned.
When you express yourself, you’re also showing your vulnerability.
It takes an enormous amount of courage to do what you’re about to do, so be proud of yourself for having the bravery to tell someone you like them.
8) Don’t do over text
It can be tempting to do it over text or messenger, but this will reduce your chances of success.
You’ll come across as lacking courage, and you won’t be able to communicate everything you’re feeling.
The chances of autocorrect or misunderstanding are so high, it can make you dizzy.
Don’t leave an important moment at the beginning of a potential relationship up to your nervous fingers. Don’t text.
Ask them to meet you for coffee or talk quietly the next time you are all out together for a friendly gathering.
Don’t put yourself in any position to make this more awkward than it might already feel.
Texting just sets you up for all kinds of issues and unwanted problems and potential misunderstanding. It would be horrible if they thought you were joking, right?
I know it’s difficult to do it in person but you’ll feel so much better about yourself if you do.
You’ll also see how they honestly feel about you. Their facial reactions will tell a story that you’ll never be able to get from technology.
9) Feel it out
Rather than just jump into screaming, “I love you!” at the top of your lungs the next time you see him, feel out the situation and see where they stand if you can.
Drop hints about how you feel without being a tease by asking him what they like about you and why they like hanging out with you. You might start by telling him the same things about why you like to hang out with them and then go from there.
Some people are a lot more skittish than they let on and if you launched into confession mode, you might scare them away.
And the same is true for if the mood isn’t right – meaning, it doesn’t have to be a romantic mood, but if they are in a bad mood or having a bad day – it’s probably not a good idea to tell them how you feel.
10) Express yourself fully, but be casual about it
Yes, you’ll want to express yourself fully. You need to tell them how you really feel. But don’t put too much pressure on them. It might scare them off.
Instead, be casual about it. Don’t be too serious.
This is an experience that you’re not going to go through too often, so enjoy it!
It will make the whole interaction more comfortable for you and them.
11) Be careful about memorizing a script
You need to have a good idea of what you’re going to say. Perhaps it will help you if you write down some dot points. But if you memorize your script fully, it may sound robotic and without feeling.
Remember, showing your nerves is okay. If you go in with just a general idea of what you’re going to say, you’ll appear much more authentic and honest than if you go in with a memorized script.
12) Feeling nervous doesn’t mean you’re not confident
When you start feeling nervous, it’s easy to start thinking that you shouldn’t be doing this. You feel that it’s going to end badly because you’re not up to the task.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking like this.
You’re nervous because you’re expressing your vulnerability to someone else. It’s normal.
If you weren’t feeling nervous, then there would be something wrong. Being nervous means you care, which is all the more reason to tell them that you like them.
13) Be real with what you speak
Be honest. Tell your crush why you like them. Tell them how you make them feel. Explain that you really do want to be in a relationship with them.
Now, you don’t have to get all emotional and make them feel awkward, but you do have to express how you feel.
You only get one shot at this so you may as well make the most of it. And the more honest you are, the better it will be if they like you and say yes. It means you both want the same thing.
14) If you weren’t so nervous, what would you be doing?
When you feel uncomfortable, your confidence may disappear from you. You’ll question yourself and what you’re saying.
If this is the case, simply ask yourself: What would the “confident you” do?
The bottom line is this:
If you were feeling confident, there’s no way you’d be questioning yourself. You’d back yourself and continue with your actions.
This version of you is always with you. You need to remind yourself of it.
15) Rejection is a possibility – and that’s okay
As much as you want to avoid it, there is a possibility of rejection.
Perhaps they don’t feel the same way about you. Maybe they’re at a different stage of their lives, and they’re not looking for a relationship.
Whatever it is, you need to open up to the possibility that rejection is on the cards.
Because if you don’t, it’s going to shock your system and damage you emotionally.
And in the end, rejection doesn’t matter at all.
Without failure, how would we ever learn? Rejection and failure are stepping stones to success.
Keep this in mind:
Whenever you get rejected, you’re one step closer to meeting the man or woman of your dreams.
16) Don’t get angry at them if they say no
It’s not their fault if they say no. They don’t have to like you because you like them.
Everyone has different tastes and circumstances. You don’t know what they’re going through.
Perhaps it’s the wrong time for them to be considering a relationship. Maybe they’ve decided that they just want to be alone for a few months.
Whatever it is, accept it and move on with your life.
17) You’re not going to say the “perfect words” to woo them
Whenever we’re desperate to say the “perfect words” at the perfect time, we never do.
Perfection doesn’t exist. You don’t need to pull out some Hollywood speech that will win you an Oscar. Trying to do so will only make things worse.
You need to be honest and authentic.
18) Keep it simple and get it done
Want to know if they like you as much as you like them? Just ask them out already and find out.
You don’t need to blow things out of proportion and you don’t need to make the night memorable.
You just need to ask. If you are feeling gutsy and think it’s going to work out, ring them up and invite them out for a coffee right now.
If you can wait, don’t wait too long. Sometimes, it’s best to do these things as they arise and don’t fight what feels right. You might find that they’re thinking the same thing, wishing you would just ask already!
You don’t need to get complicated about it. And you don’t need to overthink about it, either.
Putting expectations on yourself will only make it more difficult.
Keep it simple. Find a private, relaxed place, say what you feel and see how they react.
Simplicity always works over complexity.
If you are scanning the internet looking for creative ways to tell your crush that you are into them, stop. Stop it right now.
There’s no need to add anymore unnecessary pressure to an already pressure-filled situation by looking for some romantic way to proclaim your love for your crush.
Sure, it might be spectacular and go viral on Instagram. But it might also be a spectacular fail, they might say, “no thanks” and then you are left hanging on the internet, right back where you started.
Rather than put yourself through that, you are better off shooting from the hip, being clear and concise, and doing it as fast as possible so you don’t have to worry about whether or not they are into you, too.
In the end, do you want to have regrets? Or do you want to make the most of your life and tell them how you really feel?
There’s no need to overthink anything. Be honest with yourself, be honest with them, and let’s see what happens.
Are you mentally tough?
Resilience and mental toughness are key attributes to living your best life. They determine how high we rise above what threatens to wear us down, from battling an illness, to dealing with challenging emotions, to carrying on after a relationship has ended.
In The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness, we outline exactly what it means to be mentally tough and equip you with 10 resilience-building tools that you can start using today.
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