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How to tell someone you love them (without being awkward)

Do you love someone?

Is the person you love aware of your feelings toward them?

Because if they do, then great! And if they don’t, that’s fine.

But remember this:

In love, you have to be brave.

Eventually, you have to be honest with yourself and that special person.

You cannot always get “the one” just because you want them — it simply doesn’t work like that. And even if you do end up with this person, you won’t know for sure if they’ll stay.

Thus, it’s important to know how to tell someone you love them.

This is how you get that special person.

Similarly, it’s what you need to keep the fire burning in a serious, long-term relationship.

So how exactly do you do this?

After all:

You don’t always have to say the words “I love you” to let someone know how you feel.

There are many, many ways to say it.

With that in mind, here are the 5 things you need to keep in mind:

1) Be Sure of Your Feelings

Here’s the thing:

You shouldn’t express your love if you don’t love them in the first place.

Does this seem odd?

Yes, but it does happen. Whether it’s out of boredom or a desire to get laid, there are people who toy with other people’s feelings.

Do not be that kind of person.

It’s not worth learning how to tell someone you love them if you don’t have any good intentions.

But what if you do feel something?

Well, you must answer these first:

— Are you sure it’s genuine love and not a case infatuation or non-romantic admiration?
— Are you ready for how they will respond?
— If your feelings are not reciprocated, how will this affect your current relationship with them?
— If you get a positive reaction, are you prepared to take things to the next level?

Once you’re sure, it becomes so much easier to let someone know how much you love them.

2) Don’t Wait Too Long — Just Do It

It’s not just a matter of how but also of when.

Even if you’re so sure of your feelings toward someone, you can’t just take your time. This is what many people get wrong.

Stop waiting for the right moment.

It’s up to you to make it so.

Otherwise, you’re only going to ruin your chances.

Why?

Because you’ll only stress yourself out if you keep delaying it. You’ll turn it into a big, overwhelming issue when you had all the confidence before.

And here’s the thing:

The other person is not going to wait for as long as you want.

If weeks, months, or even years go by without you showing how you really feel, they may feel tired of the relationship.

Worse, they may even feel used — especially if they’ve already made their feelings known first.

Remember:

It’s all up to you to make the move and make things happen.

Stop overthinking.

Don’t be afraid to express your love for them.

3) Find a Private Space

A private space isn’t necessarily a bedroom.

However, it may prove advantageous if you say the words during a romantic, sexual act.

Why?

Because words are more potent when two people are in an act of passion. It’s a mixture of emotional and physical pleasure.

For example:

There is a certain intensity when lovers look into each other’s eyes in the heat of the moment.

Likewise, the cuddle after the act is very, very comforting.

So if you time it just right, your “I love you” may become one of their most unforgettable moments.

Of course, you have other options.

If going for the physically intimate route isn’t your thing, you can say it somewhere the two of you can be alone.

You see:

Learning how to tell someone you love them involves respect and freedom.

You do not force someone to love you back just because you confessed your feelings.

They’re free to say whatever they want.

So what does this have to do with location?

Well, it’s because you want them to give you an honest answer.

Think about it:

If you say where she’s with a group of friends or relatives, they too will hear all about your feelings when there should only be one recipient.

This is bad for many reasons:

— Other people may give their own reactions and ruin the moment.
— Your special someone might feel embarrassed — or think you’re joking around.
— You might not get an honest response; they’ll be pressured to act nice in public.
— They’ll get upset and not want to talk with you.

Whatever happens, don’t do it in public.

And also:

Consider whether they’re busy or not.

You don’t want to become an additional source of stress for them.

Wait for them to be free and ask them if the two of you could go somewhere private.

4) Say It Directly if It’s the First Time

Here’s one truth:

It’s always going to be more romantic if it’s face to face.

Yes, we have digital technology.

But let’s be honest:

Who wants to receive a confession on Snapchat, Messenger, or Twitter?

It simply doesn’t match the allure of hearing someone say it to you directly.

There’s something charming about an old school confession:

— You can sense how nervous they are, so much so they stutter
— You see the honesty in their eyes
— You notice the effort in their outfit and overall appearance

And more importantly:

It’s a better memory than merely reading an email — it has a sense of place and time. Of you being there with that special someone at that specific point in your life.

Moreover, you get to see how they react as it happens.

Why is this a big deal?

Because this allows you to adapt to the situation.

If you see the smiling and looking teary-eyed, you know you’re doing a great job.

But if they’re starting to look irritated?

Perhaps you need to change your wording or try a different approach.

To be fair:

It’s okay to use digital methods if you’re in a long-distance relationship.

But even then, try to make it a voice or video call; sending a text just makes you look like you’re not willing to put in the effort at all.
5) Get Creative Whenever Possible
Here’s the thing with love:

It’s simple yet it’s also complex.

The same thing goes for when you’re learning how to tell someone you love them.

Saying “I love you” in a sincere manner is more than enough to make your partner love you, even more, each day.

However:

Just because love doesn’t require you to try new things all the time doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

If you love your SO, spice things up a bit.

As we’ve said before, there are many, many ways to say it:

— “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”
— “You make my heart flutter.”
— “I want to spend all my remaining years with you.”

See?

It still captures the feeling of love without mentioning it all.

So try to mix it up every now and then.

You should still say “I love you” but you should also think of new phrases every once in a while.

But it doesn’t end there:

Why not express love in non-verbal means?

We’re not only referring to hugs, kisses, and sex.

Here are a few suggestions:

— Cook their favorite breakfast and serve it on the bed.
— Give them a cute gift on a seemingly random day.
— Take them to a park to have a picnic.
— Write them a poem.

Use whatever skills and resources you have to make your partner feel loved.
How to Tell Someone You Love Them and Prepare for the Outcome
Yes, it’s true:

Rejection is part of life, especially in one’s love life.

But here’s what some people miss:

It’s not always the end if you don’t get an “I love you” back from that special someone.

If they don’t have anything to say after you confessed, then take that as it is.

A non-response, which is not a rejection.

So what is it?

Well, it just means that they need more time before they give you a concrete answer.

You may eventually get rejected — but you may also get a sweet yes.

And if you do get rejected, don’t take it as a complete waste of time.

You know why?

Because you already did well the moment you told them how you feel.

After all:

Learning how to tell someone you love them is about getting your feelings across, that you want them to know that someone cherishes them a whole lot.

If you do get a yes, cultivate the new relationship.

Just because you’ve already told someone you love them doesn’t mean you can stop expressing your feelings altogether.

On the contrary:

Love always has room to grow.

So whether you express it through words or through actions, you can always keep sharing the love.

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Lachlan Brown

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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