Finding it hard to figure out if someone likes you?
Romantic love is often difficult to find and even more difficult to keep.
But when you are sweating in your boots wondering if someone likes you or not, the last thing you are thinking of is five years down the road and your 2.5 kids.
The tension and stress of trying to figure out if someone is into you are almost enough to make you run in the other direction.
But it’s always worth it, isn’t it?
If you are wondering what might come of all this flirting and constant contact, here’s how you can tell if someone likes you so you can start making moves on that knowledge:
1) Exchange eye contact
If your glances are met with their glances and your eyes lock on a regular basis, two things could be true: you’ve got something on your face and they don’t know how to tell you or, and this is probably more likely, they like you.
If you’ve got low self-esteem or you’ve been burned before, it might be hard to imagine that someone is interested in you.
But if you find yourself making eye contact on the regular, smiling, exchanging glances, and even getting a little embarrassed by how many times you’ve looked at one another, they are probably into you as much as you are into them.
Of course, you don’t want to stare at them to see if they look back.
According to behavior analyst Jack Schafer, there’s a technique you can use to see if they are really looking at you because they like you:
“You can increase mutual gaze by maintaining eye contact as you turn your head to break the gaze; the other person does not perceive your extended gaze as staring because your head is turning. If the person you are with maintains eye contact, they like you.”
2) Casual touches
Sitting near one another or passing in the hallway, you’ll experience casual touches. You might find that they place their hand on your shoulder or gently touch your hand.
People don’t do that for just any reason, they do that so they don’t have to say that they like you.
If they are making an effort to come into contact with you, chances are that they are excited to be around you and want to be closer to you.
Here’s a great example of touching that someone might do if they if someone likes you:
“If you walk near each other, he’ll place his hand near the small of your back to guide you through a noisy party or bar. Plus, he wants to show all the other men that he’s got this. Plus, it’s a reason to touch you and seem like a gentleman all at the same time.”
3) They are using the same body language and words as you
If it suddenly feels like you are looking in a mirror when you are talking to someone, there’s a good chance they are not doing that on purpose.
When people like and connect with one another, they subconsciously start to act like them. Sitting in the same position, taking on the same posture, and even quickly adopting the same language and word usage.
All of these mirroring acts mean that the person you are talking to likes you – it doesn’t always mean they like you romantically of course, but it could be.
If they “see themselves” in your actions, it could be for real.
This is actually rooted in the brain’s Mirror Neuron System.
This network of the brain is the social glue that binds people together.
A greater level of activation of the Mirror Neuron System is associated with liking and cooperation.
4) Leaning in
When someone is interested in what you have to say, they’ll move closer and lean in. This is another subconscious action that tells the onlooker (you) that the person likes you.
They may lower their head, lean in while you talk, and even move their body closer to yours – all without even realizing they are doing it.
People are funny like that.
It’s interesting to watch people who aren’t together, but whom like one another, interact: they do a lot of the same things and are leaning in so much it looks like they might fall over.
5) Remove things that get in the way
When we feel stand-offish and don’t want to be around someone, we’ll put up physical barriers in their way.
For example, you may cross your arms when talking to your cranky boss. It’s a subconscious way of telling your boss to back off and stay out of your space.
But when you like someone, you are more likely to spread your body wide and make sure that they feel welcome in your space.
If someone is uncrossing their arms around you, it’s almost like you’ve disarmed them and they are welcoming you into the conversation.
It also means they like you. When they don’t feel like they have to protect themselves around you, that’s a good thing.
So when evaluating body language, here’s what to look for:
- Crossed arms might indicate that a person feels closed off or defensive. Open body language indicates the opposite.
- Hands behind their back may indicate that they are feeling bored, or angry.
- Fidgeting can also indicate that they are bored.
- Open posture involves keeping the trunk of the body open and exposed. This can indicate opennesses and friendliness.
6) They point their feet toward yours
One of the strangest ways to tell someone likes you is if you look at their feet and they are pointed in your direction.
Even if they are turned to talk to someone else and their attention is occupied, if their feet are in your direction, you might have a crush on your hands.
Again, our bodies like to give us subtle ways of letting us know that we like someone.
You might feel anxious or uptight about something and later realize that it’s because you find yourself attracted to someone and didn’t know what to do with that information in your body.
7) They laugh at everything you say
Someone who likes you is going to think you are the funniest person on the planet…even if you are not.
So if you are wondering if your crush likes you back, just tell a lame joke and see how they react.
Our sense of trying to make people feel important and acknowledged when we like them is so high that we will go out of our way to make ourselves look silly (aka laughing when we shouldn’t be) so that the other person is raised up. Love is a tricky thing, isn’t it?
8) They are obviously trying to stand next to you
Whether the room is crowded or you are the only two at the bar, they make a point of standing next to you or sitting next to you.
It might be obvious that they want to be near you, especially if they actually push someone or try to move someone quickly so they can snag the seat next to yours.
We see this in romantic comedy movies when the man is enamoured with a woman and can’t seem to find his footing as he tries to squeeze into the last seat on that side of the table.
9) They remember the weirdest things
If they show up with a present or a token of appreciation to commemorate a particular time or date or event, you better believe you are important to this person.
When someone likes you, they can’t help but absorb all of the things that might seem unimportant to you.
If you mentioned your dog’s birthday is next week, your crush might show up with a treat for your dog.
Or at least, text you to say happy birthday to your dog.
Weird, no? Perhaps. But it’s a surefire way to tell if someone is into you.
10) They blush
If you enter a room and find your crush blushing or trying to turn away so that you can’t see them blushing, you can go ahead and count your chickens on that one.
They are into you for sure if their body is having a physiological reaction to your entrance. You might even find that you are having the same reaction.
Men and women blush and it’s something we can’t really control.
When we receive an unexpected compliment, we can’t help but get a pink tinge on our face from embarrassment.
So if you find that they blush around you, it’s a great sign that they like you.
However, it’s important to figure out if they blush easily around other people as well.
Isn’t love grand?
11) They’re chatting to you constantly on social media
When we’re on social media, it’s our free time, so we can literally do whatever we want.
So if they’re using that time to respond to you and properly chat with you, it’s a sign that they want to spend that time with you.
However, what you need to keep in mind is whether they are just giving you one word answers, or they’re taking they’re time to respond to you.
Perhaps they’re just being polite by responding.
But if their responses are thoughtful, that’s a good sign that they like you.
12) They stand taller, pull their shoulders back and suck their stomach in
This is a great sign that someone likes you.
Because subconsciously they want to impress you and that means that their body will react accordingly.
A great way to check out their posture is when they walk past you. If they like you, they’ll be very conscious that you’re looking, which means they’ll push their shoulders back, puff their chest out and suck their stomach in.
13) They’re drunk dialing you
You’ve probably heard the saying: “A drunk person’s words are a sober person’s thoughts.”
Alcohol makes you honest with your emotions.
So if they’re calling you or texting you when they’re drunk, it’s a great sign that they like you. If it becomes common, then they are definitely into you and you might want to ask them out.
14) Friends make an effort to leave you two alone
This is a big one and a fairly obvious one at that.
If their friends leave when you come around or make it obvious that they want to leave you two alone, there’s a fair chance that they know how their friend feels about you.
Leaving you two alone is a way to help out their friend.
15) They’re asking personal questions
These aren’t the normal “getting to know you” questions.
These are questions that really try to get to know you for who you are. The questions might even have an emotional bent to them.
For example, instead of asking what your job is, they’ll ask you what motivates you to do what you do. It will be questions that you’re not really used to.
After all, they want to get to know deeply becMuse they’re intrigued about you and they like you.
Human beings are amazing. Our bodies often tell the world how we are feeling before we know it ourselves.
We do things to send signals to one another and we don’t even realize it’s happening.
It’s why your friends know you like that girl before you know you like that girl.
It’s why your mom can tell when are crushing on someone before you even mention that you met someone. We act differently when we are around people we like.
So if you are wondering how you can tell if someone likes you, keep in mind the above list of 15 things they might do and you’ll know for sure.
A quick message from Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit
In 2018, the third year of Hack Spirit, I poured thousands of hours and considerable resources into creating these articles. It's a labor of love and remains free thanks to your patronage. If you found any value in these articles, please consider supporting what I do with a donation. Your support is what helps me to continue creating more Hack Spirit articles. To make a donation, select the amount and click the "donate" button below.