Texting is one of the easiest and most popular ways to stay in touch.
We send a whopping 18.7 billion texts worldwide every day, and that’s not even including app messaging.
Whether it’s your friends or your crush, for many of us texting is the main way we communicate.
The problem is that it does have its downsides. It’s much harder to read people over text messages than it is in real life.
How can you tell if someone is bored of texting you? Here are 14 obvious signs.
1) They only use emojis
They say a picture is worth a thousand words and when it comes to emoji’s that might be the case.
They may seem like just a bit of fun, but emojis serve a really important function.
All those winky faces, smiley faces, and hearts that we add to our messages act as a substitution for the non-verbal cues we normally give off in face-to-face conversations.
Without body language that shows how we feel or tone of voice, it can be difficult to interpret the context of what someone is saying.
Pretty much all of us have taken something the wrong way over text message before, or read too much into something. Emojis help to clarify our feelings.
When words fail us, we might just send an emoji in response to a message. But if someone constantly replies to you by only sending an emoji, it’s a sign they could be bored of texting you.
That’s because emojis are also the lazy way to respond (the same goes for GIFs and stickers too).
Emojis should be used to support what you’re saying, not as a total replacement for writing.
2) They never text you first
Many of the same rules apply to having a conversation over text as they do in real life.
We engage in a chat to show interest in the other person.
But if you were always the one to approach someone in real life and start talking, and they never approached you — you might start to suspect they don’t really want to chat with you.
The same can be said for the technology world too.
It can be a bit tricky as some people are shy, or a girl might be trying to play it cool by not messaging you first.
But generally speaking, if you are always the one to text first, it’s not a good sign and suggests they might be bored of you.
3) They don’t ask you questions
Questions are a clear signal to someone that we are participating in a conversation and the other person’s green light to carry on talking.
Asking questions is such a strong social cue that research has found we tend to like people more who ask them.
In a study, participants’ ratings of each other showed people who were told to ask a lot of questions came across as more responsive, and therefore more likable, compared with those who were told to ask few questions.
Sometimes the conversation flows effortlessly back and forth without much need for questions. If so, great.
But if they want to keep the conversation going and are interested in you, they will show it by asking questions, and follow-up questions. It proves that you are listening to what someone is saying.
If they aren’t particularly interested in asking you about anything you are saying, they could be bored. The same goes for if they ask only very simple questions.
According to Psychology Today, interested people tend to ask more complicated questions that show curiosity, not mere politeness.
4) They’ve stopped replying to every message
They may not have resorted to full-on ghosting, but they have stopped replying to every message you send.
It’s almost like they are ignoring you.
Maybe if you just send a simple text like an emoji or a “hey”, they don’t bother to respond. Ignoring or glossing over photos, links, or memes that you send could suggest something is up.
They will still chat if you ask a question or after you send a couple of messages in a row, but they aren’t responsive to everything you send.
Responsiveness is a big indicator of someone’s interest. So if they’re not replying to you, they are likely bored.
5) They send short responses
We all know a dry texter. They are the ones who respond with “ok” or “cool”.
Basically, dry texting is what happens when someone gives you a short and not particularly engaging reply in a texting conversation.
It can make you paranoid and quickly leave you wondering if something is up. Are they annoyed at you? Are they bored of you?
Sometimes it’s just part of someone’s personality and we shouldn’t take it personally. For example, you might be dealing with an introvert or just a boring texter.
This type of messaging can not only be exhausting because the other person isn’t adding anything to the conversation, but it is also a sign they are bored texting you.
Repeatedly sending one-word answers isn’t good. If they were engaged in the conversation, you’d expect them to say more.
6) Their messages aren’t enthusiastic
Rather than just one thing alone, enthusiasm is a vibe we give off.
We show our enthusiasm (or lack of it) in texting through the way in which we respond.
Examples of unenthusiastic texting habits are:
- Random, low-effort messages that aren’t going anywhere.
- Shorter replies that don’t offer explanation or details.
- Constant excuses for why they can’t chat.
- Promises to check in later, but they never do.
- Always saying they were too busy to reply any sooner.
The reality is that when we are interested in someone, or we value them, we prioritize them. The less of a priority you are, the less significant you are to someone.
7) They take a long time to reply
Sure, we can all accidentally forget the odd message and it’s not necessarily a big deal.
Similarly, if you’re at work, out with friends, at the cinema, etc. it’s a pretty legitimate reason for not replying to someone as promptly.
We can be a bit too sensitive when we’re waiting for a response from someone. Minutes may feel like hours when your crush hasn’t texted you back yet.
What is a long time to wait for a text reply? That’s a pretty subjective question. This is why it’s better to look at past behavior as well as any particular time limits.
- They used to reply straight away, but now it takes hours before they respond.
- They don’t offer any excuse or reason for the slow reply.
- They frequently go the whole day or over 24 hours before responding.
How do you know if someone is bored of you? These are clear signs that they aren’t particularly bothered about talking to you anymore.
8) They leave you on read (or unread)
Read receipts can feel like torture.
It used to be that your heart would only sink if you saw the message had been read days ago, and they still hadn’t replied.
But intentionally not opening a message has become a popular way to get around message notifications, so it’s not particularly comforting even if your message goes unread for a long time.
It’s slightly worse to leave someone on read, as they will see we have seen the message. So the assumption is they don’t care if you know they’re ignoring you.
If they come back with a genuine excuse, they’ll likely have a more specific reason — like I was at work, in a meeting, with my mom, etc.
But leaving someone on read and “forgetting” to reply one too many times is a sign they are bored with texting you.
9) They’re always the one to exit the conversation first
All text conversations are going to come to an end at some point.
That means one person is either going to say something along the lines of “I’ve gotta go” or will not reply to the last message sent.
Often texting comes to a natural conclusion, where you both just know that you’re done. But pay attention to whether it is always them that leaves the chat, or stops replying first.
It could be a clue that they’re not interested in chatting with you.
10) You send way more messages than them
It doesn’t have to be straight down the line 50/50, but it should be pretty close.
Take a look at your phone and the message exchange between you. Does one color stand out way more than the other?
Perhaps there are lines and lines of text you send in comparison to a few scattered lines in between highlighting the messages they’ve sent you.
If you’re making up most of the conversation (around 80% or more), experts say this is a sign the other person is bored.
11) They don’t contribute anything meaningful to the conversation
It’s not just how much someone messages you that helps you figure out if they’re bored, it’s also how they show up.
Conversations have to be a two-way street in order to flow properly (otherwise it becomes more like a monolog).
New York Times bestseller author Gretchin Rubin says unbalanced conversations are a big giveaway that someone isn’t interested in talking to you.
“In general, people who are interested in a subject have things to say themselves; they want to add their own opinions, information, and experiences. If they aren’t doing that, they’re probably keeping quiet in the hopes that the conversation will end faster.”
12) They mirror your message instead of saying something new
We can all find ourselves stumped every now and then for something to say. A conversation does require effort.
If they can’t think of anything to say and don’t really want to put in that effort then you may notice they start to mirror back what you’ve said instead.
For example, maybe you send a message saying “Wow, it’s so cold today, I thought I was going to freeze on my way home.” And they just reply “yeah, it’s freezing”.
That is mirroring. Rather than add anything new, they piggyback off what you say, and add nothing else. It’s essentially the lazy way to text.
People who are bored are more likely to repeat statements instead of creating an original message.
13) They randomly change the subject
If you’re chatting away about something, but rather than participate, the other person totally changes the subject, then you can assume they were bored.
When we are totally tactless or insensitive in changing the subject, it highlights that we weren’t paying attention.
In engaged conversations, topics tend to change more gradually as new themes are introduced.
So if they go totally off-topic all of a sudden, it suggests they weren’t so interested in your original conversation.
14) You never talk for very long
As a general rule, the longer we talk to someone, the more interested we are in the conversation.
If you only ever talk briefly and infrequently, then they could be bored of you texting them.
All relationships, whether friendship or romantic, take an investment of time. How much time is different for everyone.
Some people genuinely aren’t big on texting and would rather connect face to face. But if they are interested in building and maintaining a relationship with you, they will make time to talk to you.
If they can’t find that time for you, it tells you how they feel.
Is it normal for texting to get boring?
According to the Pew Research Center, 72% of teenagers text regularly, and one in three sends more than 100 texts per day. Even adult text message users apparently send or receive an average of 41.5 messages a day.
That’s a lot of messages. Let’s face it, life isn’t always quite so eventful, so is it any wonder that we run out of things to talk about.
It’s made more challenging when we’re still getting to know someone. When it’s your bestie who you’ve known forever, it’s easier to know what to say.
When it’s a crush or new love interest, it’s common to wonder what to say when a conversation gets boring with a guy, or worry if a girl is getting bored of texting you.
But here’s the good news — it’s totally normal for texting to get boring sometimes. Even when you are really interested in someone, conversation lulls are usual.
The other person might be tired, stressed out, or feeling unwell. We also all have different texting habits, so there’s not a standard one-size-fits-all “normal” way to text.
As Pricilla Martinez, relationship coach told Cosmopolitan it’s important to remember that we all use text messages differently, so it’s best not to jump to quick conclusions. They may even be sick of texting and want you to make a move.
“For some, texting is just a tool to make plans to meet up. Don’t assume the conversation is drying up because they’re not interested.”
But if you notice a lot of the red flags on the list, then sadly someone could be bored of texting you.
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