So you’re trying to figure out if a guy likes you through text.
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.
While you might think it’s easy, it’s actually harder than you might think.
Because you can’t rely on body language or social interactions. It’s just his texts, his replies, and how long it takes him to respond.
But fear not, there are certain tricks of the trade that will enable you to get a better idea if he likes you or not.
You just need to know what questions to ask, what to look for, and what you can do.
So in this article, I’m going through all of the different signs that he likes you through text.
We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.
1. He talks about what you’d be doing if he was there
Let’s be honest: This is a pretty obvious sign that he likes you.
If he is saying things like, “If I was with you right now, we’d be doing this
or “I wish I was there with you right now, we’d be having so much fun!” then there’s a big chance he likes you.
Because it’s clear that he is thinking about being with you.
Not only that, but he WANTS to be with you.
We can all agree that feeling the desire to spend time with someone else is a clear sign that you like them.
QUIZ: “Does he like me?” Every woman has asked this question at least once about a guy. I’ve put together a fun quiz to help you figure out whether he likes you. Take my quiz here.
2. He is using A LOT of flirty Emojis
Now, this is a generalizing a little.
Clearly some people are just liberal with emojis no matter what.
But if you’ve seen him text other people, or you’ve witnessed how he communicates on platforms such as Instagram and Facebook, and he appears to be using a lot of flirty emojis specifically with you, then that’s a fair sign that he’s into you.
So, what kind of flirty emojis will he use if he likes you?
The common ones: the emoji with the heart eyes, smiley face with the tongue sticking out or the playful lips that signify a kiss.
If it seems like he doesn’t use them regularly, and he is clearly making an exception for you, then that’s a great sign.
He’s trying to let you know that he’s interested in more than just a conversation.
Of course, you’ll laugh it off and try not to read too much into it, but that’s the whole point – read into it!
Watch out for the slippery and slidey players who flirt with every single girl they can talk to
One way to find out if your guy does this is to get one of your friends to chat with him as well.
Then you can analyze how many flirty emojis he uses with them.
3. What would Sigmund Freud say?
To decide whether a guy likes you through text or is just playing games, you need real and honest advice.
Having studied relationships and psychology most of my adult life, I know a thing or two about it.
But why not turn to the most famous psychologist of all?
Yes, Vienna psychoanalyst Dr. Sigmund Freud can tell you whether he likes you through his text messages.
Simply take this brilliant quiz from my friends at Ideapod. Answer a few personal questions and Freud himself will dredge through all the subconscious issues motivating your man to give you the most accurate (and downright fun) answer of all.
Sigmund Freud was the grand master at understanding sex and attraction. This quiz is the next best thing to setting down one-on-one with the famous psychoanalyst.
I took it myself a few weeks ago and was amazed at the unique insights I received.
4. He lets you know he’s going out
He doesn’t want to miss your messages or make you worry so he goes out of his way to let you know he won’t be available for whatever reason.
But really, he’s probably just trying to make you jealous or use it as an excuse to invite you out so you can hang out together.
Going out with his friends?
It’s too easy to just ask you to come along so if you play into it, you’ll be invited along in no time.
“That sounds fun, I’d love to hang out with you guys sometime.” – casual, but inviting. And then he’ll be inviting you before you know it.
5. Is he showing interest (and concern) for you?
A surefire way to tell whether a guy likes you over text is that he shows genuine interest and concern for you.
Although it may only be early days, a guy should still ask you how you are (and mean it) and show concern for your happiness and general wellbeing.
Feeling protective over a woman is a great sign that a guy likes you. Because he wants to be there for you and to be the person you turn to when you need help.
Don’t get me wrong, no doubt your guy loves your strength and abilities to be independent. But he still wants to feel wanted and useful — not dispensable!
This is because men have a built-in desire for something “greater” that goes beyond love or sex. It’s why men who seemingly have the “perfect girlfriend” are still unhappy and find themselves constantly searching for something else. Or worst of all, someone else.
Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel important, and to provide for the woman he cares about. Even when you guys are texting, this drive will be apparent.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. He’s created an excellent free video explaining his concept.
As James argues, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.
So, when the hero instinct isn’t triggered, men are unlikely to enter into a relationship. He holds back because being in a relationship is a serious investment for him. And he won’t fully “invest” in you unless you give him a sense of meaning and purpose and make him feel essential.
How do you trigger this instinct in him? How do you give him a sense of meaning and purpose?
You don’t need to pretend to be anyone you’re not or play the “damsel in distress”. You don’t have to dilute your strength or independence in any way, shape, or form.
In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step up to fulfill it.
In his new video, James Bauer outlines several things you can do. He reveals the texts you can send him right now to make him feel more essential to you.
By triggering this very natural male instinct, you’ll not only supercharge his confidence as a man but it will also help to rocket your relationship to the next level.
6. He takes time with his texts
Many people don’t get this, but stay away from the guys who offer you one-word answers!
Trust me, it’s just not worth it.
But when a guy gives you thoughtful responses and that show they actually want to engage, then he probably likes you.
After all, when you’re on your phone, you’ve got unlimited opportunities of what you could do and whom you could talk to.
You could be watching Netflix, he could spending time chatting with any other girl, he could be catching up with the news.
But no, he’s decided to spend time crafting a response for you.
If that doesn’t indicate that he likes you, then I don’t know what does.
7. He initiates conversation
Is your man the first to text you?
Then give me a high five because that’s a great sign.
You don’t have to go looking for him – he’ll text you every morning like clockwork.
He wants you to know that you’re the first thing he thinks about and to set the tone for the day.
When you’re the one who has to always start the conversation that’s usually a bad sign that you like him more than he likes you.
See wait a bit and practice a little patience. If he texts you first, you can bet your bottom dollar he’s into you.
8. He responds back quickly
Don’t ya just hate the guys who take AGES to respond?
Well, that’s a good thing, because they probably don’t like you.
Unless they’re super desperate and they’re trying to act cool by not texting you for days.
That’s more common than you might think.
But for now, assume that if he texts you back right away he definitely likes you.
He’s engaged in the conversation and he wants to spend his free time on the phone on you.
9. You spend your entire day texting each other
From breakfast to bedtime, you update each other on lunch, meetings, phone calls, sad Deborah from accounting’s outburst at the end of the day.
You tell each other everything as if you want to be sharing your days together in real life.
10. If a guy is into you, he is going to start to texting you a little differently than normal
This kind of weirdness will usually come out in terms of weird jokes when he is texting.
Perhaps he’ll try a little hard with his texts and try to impress you by making you laugh.
It can also play out in terms of banter and jokes. If he is constantly telling jokes or playfully teasing you, then they’re probably interested in you.
Don’t let it weird you out – just keep playing it cool and he’ll come around.
Once he settles down and realizes that you are into him too, he’ll relax.
“DOES HE LIKE ME” QUIZ: If you don’t know whether a guy likes you, you need real and honest advice. My new quiz will help you figure it out. Take the quiz here.
11. Is he complimenting you?
Compliments are a great way to gauge a guy’s interest. Of course, many guys can give compliments when they don’t really mean it if they want to get you in the sack.
But if they truly like you, they’ll probably start complimenting you on subtle things that you may not be aware of.
It could some rare photos on your Facebook and observations about your behavior.
It could be unique tidbits about your personality, or they could notice subtle changes in your hairstyle in your latest Instagram photo.
In fact, sometimes it may not even be a compliment, but the fact that they’ve noticed that you’ve changed your hairstyle or used different make-up.
If they notice, it means they’re paying attention to you, and they probably like you.
Also, not many guys are great at giving compliments, so keep your wits about you and notice when he says something that could even be remotely viewed as a compliment.
If you’ve noticed that he doesn’t really compliment others when he texts you, then he probably likes you.
12. He’s trying to work out if you have a boyfriend
Now it’s fairly obvious that if he asks you, ‘Do you have a boyfriend?” then he’s clearly interested.
But not many guys are going to be that direct. Instead, they’ll ask indirect questions to figure it out.
Perhaps they’ll mention that they’re single in the hope that it forces you to say “me too.”
Or they’ll ask things like, “Oh, so you went alone to the party?”
If you’re looking out for it, it will be pretty easy to notice.
You could mention that you are indeed single and watch for their reaction. If it produces a smile from the guy, then he’s definitely into you.
13. He remembers little things
Guys aren’t the best when it comes to remembering the little things.
So if he remembers that you had your brother’s birthday party the night before and he’s asking you how it went, then he probably likes you.
He’s thinking about you. He wants to stay connected and develop rapport.
Most people, let alone guys, wouldn’t do this, so see it as a sign that he has genuine feelings for you.
14. He wants to help you with your problems
Guys are problem solvers. And when it comes to a person they like, they want to find a solution to every problem they hear about.
Furthermore, they want to impress you with their solutions.
So if you mention a problem you have, and he likes you, he’ll likely scan his brain searching for solutions.
A guy that likes you will go the extra mile. They’ll want to be your hero that saves the day.
15. He’s teasing you
We’ve all heard this one before. A guy who likes you teases you. Sound familiar?
No matter what age they are, guys have a habit of teasing a female they’re interested in.
Remember in Kindergarten when a boy would pull a girl’s hair? Yep, he liked her.
Guys do this because they want attention and they want to be funny. Teasing is basically a way of telling you they like you.
Remember, some guys will do this a little awkwardly, and they might not be very good at it. They might even insult you.
But there’s no need to get insulted. After all, they’re just trying to let you know that they like you!
16. He laughs at everything you say
There’s no denying it.
He likes you when he thinks you’re the funniest person on the planet…especially when you’re clearly not.
If he is saying “haha” or “lol” to everything you say then that’s clearly a good sign.
So if you’re wondering if he likes you, there’s an easy way to find out:
Tell a lame joke and see how he reacts. If he laughs, he likes you (or ultra polite). And if he doesn’t laugh, or at least make you feel good about your attempted joke, then he might not like you.
Just keep in mind that our sense of trying to make people feel important and acknowledged when he like them is so high that we will go out of our way to make ourselves look silly (aka laughing when we shouldn’t be) so that the other person is raised up.
Love is a tricky thing, isn’t it?
17. He is drunk texting you
Well, you can’t get much more obvious than this, can you?
Have you heard the saying: “A drunk’s person’s words are a sober person’s thoughts?”
Alcohol has a way of making you honest with your emotions. So if they’re calling you or texting you when they’re drunk, it’s a great sign that they like you.
It might not be the love letter you were hoping for, but rest assured, if he’s thinking about you when his guard is down, it’s because he really cares about you.
Try to see past the spelling mistakes and potential crude language.
If it becomes common, then you might want to ask him out.
However, watch out for the men that drunk call or text you only at 2 am on a Saturday night. They might just be looking for a booty call.
The fact of the matter is, they’ve been out since at least 9 pm and they’ve only contacted you at 2 am. Stay away from those guys!
18. He says he wishes you weren’t “just” texting.
He eludes to wanting more than just a word-based relationship every now and then and says things such as “we should hang out sometime” in a casual, no-big-deal-kind-of-way.
19. The messages just keep on coming…
One after another, you just keep getting more and more messages. The object of your affection is obviously interested in talking to you.
20. There’s a lot of back and forth…
Quick, funny, and on point, your messages just seem to gel together. It’s exciting and fast-paced and it makes you a little nervous of what might be said next.
No waiting here…
You don’t need to wait for them to respond; those messages drop faster than you can respond. They aren’t playing any games. Getting and keeping your attention is the number one priority here.
21. Hello, Sweetie…
Pet names, anyone? If you’re getting into the pet name territory, it’s surely sexual tension you’re dealing with here. Don’t let it freak you out. It’s easier to write things than it is to say them out loud.
22. They check in on you…
Random days and times mean you’ll get a text asking about your day and wondering how things are going. If you’ve had a bad day, you might even get a video message or two.
23. They apologize…
If they’ve messed up, pride doesn’t get in the way of the all-important apology. They know it’s more important to keep the lines of communication open than to let pride get in the way.
24. They compliment you…
Beautiful, funny, charming, smart – you’ll get it all.
You might be wondering what’s going on with all the text compliments, but take them at face value: if someone is saying these things to you, it’s because they believe it and want you to believe it too.
25. You have inside jokes with one another…
You’ve been doing this so long you’ve developed a whole routine around jokes and inside stories. You share things others don’t and it’s not funny to anyone but the two of you. That kind of chemistry doesn’t just happen.
26. They just keep telling you more and more about them…
They feel comfortable enough to share a lot of information with you. That transcends the friend zone.
27. There are messages waiting for you when you wake up…
They are thinking about you as soon as they wake up and want to make sure you think about them as soon as you wake up.
What’s the best way to do that? Send you a text message that you can’t miss when you pick up your phone in the morning.
28. How to Tell For Sure if a Guy Likes You
Want to know the best way to tell if a guy likes you? Ask him through text. Or let him know you like him. This isn’t high school, and there’s no need for games.
Cut the chase and let him know you think he’s cool and he’ll either say the same or tell you he’s not interested.
If that’s not your style, and granted, it’s not a lot of people’s style, keep paying attention to how he acts texts, if he flirts with you, how he takes in what you have to say, and if he makes an effort by constantly chatting to you.
29. He wants to ramp things up and face time with you
This is an obvious sign that he likes you because he wants to have an actual conversation with you. He is trying to build rapport and make sure you get along.
This is a great sign that he likes you and wants to move things along!
30. He’s copying your writing slang and style
This is a big sign that a guy likes you. It’s something we all do subconsciously when we’re talking with someone we like. It’s called “mirroring”.
When you’re texting this guy, here’s what to watch out for:
– Is he copying the same slang you’re using? Is he replying back in a similar amount of sentences to what you’re writing?
– Is he always trying to agree with you and act like you?
If he likes you, he’ll subconsciously try to text more like you. If you use a lot of emojis, then what ya know! He is also using a lot of emojis. This is something all humans do naturally when they like someone.
31. It’s important to remember that people express interest in different ways
– If he’s an alpha male and confident, then he’ll be pretty forward that he likes you.
He’s not going to come out and say it, but texts will be pretty direct to present you with clues.
If he’s the shy or anxious type, then it’s going to be a little more difficult.
The anxious/avoidant types will generally appear aloof, so it might take more time to develop rapport so they get more comfortable.
Once they’re comfortable, it should be the same as an alpha male though.
Most guys realize that they have to make the first move if anything is going to happen.
– Also, keep in mind that most girls will wait for the guy to make the first move.
32. Send him these texts and see how he responds
One of the best ways to figure out if a guy likes you is to send him some of the below texts and see how he responds.
Some of the texts might be a little bit forward but his response will tell you all you need to know.
And anyway, time is valuable, so it’s efficient to text him and see how he feels rather than ging through all of the signs below.
1. Send a morning text
Texting her first thing in the morning is an excellent way to show him that he’s on your mind at the start of the day.
And how he responds will tell you if you’re on his mind or not.
– “Morning, dork”. If you get along well and you’ve built rapport, he’ll smile at this cute message. If he responds by asking you a question like what you’re up to today, then you know he likes you.
– “I hope you have a fantastic day”. You’re just looking for a response here. if he says you too 🙂 then that’s a good sign.
– “Am I the only one who had a dream about us last night?” This is a great, flirty text you can send. If he likes you, he’ll play along and be very curious about what the dream involved.
2. Send love messages
Sometimes pushing the envelope can be a good thing. You’ll know where you stand immediately if you send her one of the below love messages.
– “I only saw you for 15 minutes, but it absolutely made my day” If you haven’t gone on a date with him yet, then use the length of time you were talking with him when you got his number. What he responds to this text message will tell you a lot about whether he likes you or not.
– “And I thought you couldn’t be any more attractive…” Say this when he says something about himself to you. It’ll make her feel good.
– “I’m thinking about you. That is all :)” Definitely shows you’re interested. How he responds will indicate what he is feeling about you.
3. Send a good night text for him
Sending him a good night message is cute. He’ll see that you care about her.
Try some of these:
“Good night! I can’t wait to see you in….” (You can use this when you’ve made an arrangement to meet.”)
-“Well, it’s about time for me to start dreaming about you…Good night!” (He’ll respond very positively to this message if he likes you.”
In the end, if you take action to show him how you feel, not only will you let him know that you like him, but his reaction will reveal how he feels.
As a woman, sometimes you need to throw some bait out there and see if he catches it.
After all, time is a sparse resource and the quicker you make a move, the quicker you’ll find out if anything can happen between the two of you.
If you’re looking to learn how to make a move, then you might also be interested in these articles:
- How to flirt like a pro: 27 incredible tips
- How to get a guy to ask you out: 16 ways to get him to make a move
- How to ask a guy out over text in a cute way (A step-by-step guide)
Summing it up
How good is YOUR texting game?
If you want a guy to like you over text, then you first need to capture his attention.
But with so many distractions in the modern world, and other women around, how do you really grab a man’s attention? So that he’s thinking about you and only you?
I’ve recently come across a unique set of psychological triggers that are guaranteed to get your man’s attention. Relationship expert Amy North calls them “attention hooks”.
These attention hooks are the same triggers that Hollywood screenwriters use to draw audiences into their movies and keep them watching the entire show.
Have you ever been so hooked on a TV show you couldn’t stop watching?
Something at the end of each episode made you click “Watch Next Episode” again and again. Almost as if you couldn’t help yourself.
Amy North has taken these exact Hollywood techniques and adapted them for texting men.
Text messages with attention hooks are so powerful because they tap directly into the focus system of a man’s brain. Without even realizing it, he’ll start thinking about you and paying attention to you.
Even if he’s miles away or you haven’t spoken in a while.
If you want to learn more about attention hooks and how to use them in your text messages, check out this great free video by Amy North.
I think learning how to properly capture people’s attention is important in many areas of life. But especially when it comes to relationships.
Because when a man’s attention is elsewhere, it’s impossible for him to develop deep feelings of attraction towards you. Only when you fully have his attention will he start to wonder what you’re doing, what you think of him, and when he’ll get to see you next.
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