in

How to tell if a shy guy likes you: 20 surprising signs

In this day and age, guys don’t need to make the first move. Still, a good majority of them do. But, if you’re dealing with a guy who’s shy, you can expect to have to make the first move. 

Most of the time, you can tell if a shy guy likes you based on his physical appearance and signs, whether he makes an effort to talk to you, and if he gets happily flustered along the way.

I’ll expand more on that later, so keep reading for the top 20 signs that you have a shy guy in your grasp.

How do you attract a shy guy?

Have your sights set on the shy guy? Whether it’s at work or school, shy guys are mysterious and adorable, so they may grab your attention.

But when it comes to him liking you, how do you attract a guy that’s shy? It’ll obviously be a bit tougher to get the shy guy’s attention than the loud or boisterous type of guy. It’s not because the shy guy isn’t interested, but he’s not going to say it to you.

When it comes to shy guys, you’ll need to do most of the work. You can do this by:

  • Make the first move
  • Show him that you like him
  • Give him your attention and eye contact
  • Don’t make fun of him
  • Keep hang outs between the two of you or with people he’s comfortable with

The top 20 signs a shy guy likes you

Shy guys are going to be a bit more subtle than others, so don’t expect bells, whistles, and a loud parade showing that you’re the one. Instead, look for the small things. These are subtle signs that a shy guy likes you.

1. He’s always smiling around you

Take it from a shy girl, shyness is hard. And because of that, you don’t get real smiles from us very often. Sure, the polite smiles that don’t reach the eyes are our go-to. But, that’s not real.

If you catch the shy guy you like always smiling ear from ear around you, there’s a good chance that he likes you. He thinks you’re fun and entertaining, and that’s one of the best reasons to like someone.

2. He’s always wanting to help

No one wants to help you move, clean your apartment, or pick up your dry cleaning. But shy guys who like you want to help. They will go out of their way to help you so that they can spend time with you.

They may not outrightly say that they like you, but this is a big sign. He doesn’t care what it is that he has to do, he’ll do it for you. The best part about it is he won’t judge you for it.

3. You catch his gaze

Do you look behind your shoulder at him and find that he was already looking at you? If so, get used to the lingering gazes. Because they aren’t forward with their feelings, they will look and glance at you.

They’re probably thinking about how much they like you, so it’s pretty cute. And when you catch him, he might turn red and move his gaze back to his computer or notebook. You can turn back around knowing that he has feelings for you.

4. He’s a good listener

Shy guys are great at listening, but they only spend time with people that they actually want to listen to. If you’re sitting down and he’s listening intently to what you’re saying, that means he likes you.

Whether you’re already friends or have just met, this listener is doing it because he enjoys your company and likes spending time with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about a big game or a work assignment, he’ll hang onto your every word.

5. He tries to be in your world

Even though he’s shy, he tries to hang out with you and your friends. Chances are, he doesn’t love being around your BFF. But if that means he gets to spend more time with you, he’ll do it. Honestly, he’ll even risk being friend zoned because he wants to be around you more.

Though it may seem totally different than other guys you’ve liked in the past, this is just his way to show that he’s interested in what you’re interested in—even if he seems like the awkward third wheel.

6. He fidgets and blushes

Most of the time, he’ll probably sit and listen to you. But when he does talk, it may come out funny. Shy guys are known for stammering and stuttering. Plus, he may fidget his fingers or blush. This just means he’s nervous.

And the reason for his nervousness? You. It’s a good thing. He wants to impress you, and as embarrassing as it may be for him, he’s doing it in the best way that he can.

7. He shares things about himself

Once he starts getting to know you more, he’ll let yourself into his world. The thing with shy people is that they often feel awkward or embarrassed about who they are. And chances are, they’re pretty introverted.

As you get to know him, his personality will come out more. Then, he’ll share some of his secrets with you. Don’t take this lightly—shy guys don’t share secrets about themselves very often.

8. He only has eyes for you

Do you ever go out with him to another scene and there are plenty of hot girls around? Well, most guys would have some wandering eyes. But a shy guy? He only has eyes for you. He  may not be admitting his feelings, but he definitely isn’t looking for anyone else.

Even if there are other women trying to get to know him, he’ll probably be awkward around them and look to you for some assurance. Trust me, it’s not because he thinks you’re his BFF. He wants to spend time with you.

9. He stops responding when you talk about another guy

Nothing is worse than hearing the person you like talking about another guy. So, if you bring up a guy and your shy guy seems to shut down or get a little bit annoyed, that means he likes you. He may roll his eyes, subtly say something, or flat out get annoyed.

If this happens, pat yourself on the back. This is definitely a sign that he has feelings for you.

10. He loves what you’re doing

We don’t usually love what someone’s doing unless we care about them. Shy guys are the same. Because they may be scared to tell you how they really feel, he’ll talk about how much he loves the things that you do.

Plus, he may even tag along for some of the things that you do just to show how much he cares about you.

11. He’s following you on social media

Possibly the best place to be friends, the shy guy will definitely start by following you on social media. He wants to see what you’re up to, and without making himself known, he can gather this info on social media.

If he gets enough courage, he might even like or comment on your photo. But, don’t expect the shy guys to be sliding into your DMs. 

12. His friends tease him

When you walk by him, do you see his friends whispering about you? This could be while you’re at the bar, at work, or if you’re younger, at school. When his friends are teasing him about you, that means he’s been talking about you.

They’re probably pressuring him to make a move—but we know that’s not going to happen. Their teasing is in hopes that you’ll find out he likes you and make a move yourself.

13. He knows the small details of your life

Shy guys are good listeners, especially when it comes to those tiny details. Maybe you mention one time that you like jolly ranchers. Then, he’ll remember that and always make sure he gives you jolly ranchers.

Even though you won’t remember mentioning jolly ranchers, he does. He remembers it, and he uses it as a way to show that he cares about you. It’s super cute, and it will take you by surprise a lot too.

14. He’ll try something new

He might be used to sticking to a routine, but when he meets you, he’ll try something new if you want him too. Though shy people often have a hard time trying new things, he’ll get uncomfortable if that means he gets to spend more time with you while doing it.

Just don’t expect him to be super happy about it. Though he may put up a little bit of a fight, pretty soon, he’ll do it for you.

15. He’s polite

Get used to having a true gentleman around. When he’s shy, he’ll open up your doors and do things for you that you may not usually get from the man that is constantly getting girls. Shy guys have studied up on their etiquette, and they want to impress.

In fact, he may be so polite at times that you’ll wonder if you’ve been friend zoned. It can be hard to decipher every once in a while, hence the next sign…

16. You get mixed signals

Are you sure that he likes you one day and then hopelessly confused the next day? Unfortunately, this can be normal with shy guys. They have a hard time talking about it all, and so some days they may show that they care and other days they may disappear.

It’s not that they’ve changed their minds. It’s the fact that they aren’t sure how you feel, so they don’t know whether or not their investment is worth the time.

17. He’s given you a nickname

Don’t count the shy guys out—they know how to come up with the sweetest nicknames. If he’s given you a pet name, even if it’s adorable or dorky, that means he likes you. Sure, it may be something you’d rather never hear him call you again, but that’s just his way to tease you and flirt with you.

Plus, he wants to see how you react to the nickname. Make sure you let him know that you like it because he’s using it for you.

18. He touches you

Words can be hard for shy guys, so he’ll try to communicate with you through touch. It may not seem like much, but a gentle touch on your shoulder or arm can speak volumes to them. So, if you notice that he’s been touching you, whether it’s on your arm, leg, or maybe even putting his arm around you or holding hands, that’s a good sign he’s crushing on you hard.

It doesn’t have to be a monumental touch. He doesn’t need to kiss you to show you that he cares. You’ll probably have to do that.

19. He cares

Do you find him asking how your day is going or what’s happening in your life? If so, he cares about you. This is always a good thing. Shy guys don’t give up their hearts easily, so when they care about someone, they do so deeply. 

He’s showing you in a small way that he hopes your day is going well, and if it’s not, he’s there for you.

20. He finally tells you

Eventually, even shy guys will tell you that they like you. It may take them longer, and you probably will make the first move, but don’t worry. Once they tell you that they like you, they’re yours. Make sure to give them lots of signals that you feel the same way. It’ll make it easier for him to open up.

In Conclusion: How to tell a shy guy likes you

Shy guys may not be as open and forthcoming as the other men in your life. But make no mistake, they like you just the same. Though it can be hard to tell whether or not a shy guy likes you, if they have any of the above 20 signs, there’s a good chance he does.

You may also like reading:

Sign up to Hack Spirit's daily emails

Learn how to reduce stress, cultivate healthy relationships, handle people you don't like and find your place in the world.

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit
Lachlan Brown

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

signs he wants you back

How to tell a guy you like him (5 ways to do it!)

How do you know you love someone? Everything you need to know