I don’t need to tell you that’s incredibly difficult to figure out whether a girl likes you or not.
I’m a guy, and I’ve found it virtually impossible my whole life.
But the truth is, when you do some research and understand women psychology, the task becomes a lot easier. Women aren’t as complex as you might think.
So today, I’m going to explain every telltale sign I’ve found in my research that a girl likes you.
First off, we’ll start with 15 physical signs she likes you. After that, we’ll discuss 20 social/personality cues that she’s into you.
- How to tell if a girl likes you: 15 physical signs
- 1) She stands taller, pulls her shoulders back and sucks her stomach in.
- 2) Her feet are pointing towards you
- 3) Her body is turned towards you
- 4) She notices and reacts when you touch her
- 5) She’s getting touchy-feely with you
- 6) She blushes when she’s around you
- 7) Her pupils dilate
- 8) She’s copying your gestures and movements
- 9) She looks at you
- 10) She’s preening herself
- 11) She leans in and tilts her head
- 12) She’s using “open” body language
- 13) She’s visibly nervous or shy
- 14) She caresses an object in her hands
- 15) Remember, it’s in the small details
- How to tell if a girl likes you: 20 social and personality cues
- 1) Her personality changes when she’s around you
- 2) If you do something out of the ordinary, she blushes or seems flustered
- 3) Her friends make an effort to leave you two alone
- 4) She pays attention to you
- 5) She gets flustered when you say hello as she is talking to another guy
- 6) When she does or says something, she looks at you to see what your reaction is
- 7) Different personalities will show they like you in different ways
- 8) She’s asking personal questions
- 9) She’s chatting to you constantly on social media
- 10) She’s drunk dialing you
- 11) She’s trying to let you know she’s single – and she wants to know if you have a girlfriend
- 12) She laughs at your stupid jokes – and smiles a lot when you talk to her
- 13) Conversations between you two seem effortless
- 14) She’ll start to reveal her quirky side
- 15) She’s telling you personal things about your life
- 16) She posts on her social media accounts letting people know she’s with you
- 17) She’s posting on your Facebook wall or tagging you in things
- 18) She immediately says yes when you ask to hang out
- 19) Keep in that mind that some girls will be indecisive about whether they like you
- 20) There’s plenty of fish in the sea, so choose wisely
- 7 things to do if you’re confident she likes you
- 1. Express interest back and get to know her.
- 2. Compliment her from time to time
- 3. Get her number or contact on messaging apps
- 4. When you meet up with her, be yourself
- 5) Most importantly, just keep the conversation going
- 6) Don’t be afraid to tease her
- 7) Organize a second date
- 10 Tips On Becoming A Well-Rounded, Attractive Guy
- 1) Be A Fun Conversationalist
- 2) Practice Good Hygiene
- 3) Wear Clothes That Fit
- 4) Mind Your Body Language
- On Positive Psychological Tricks
- 5) Be A Familiar Figure
- 6) Keep Things New And Exciting
- 7) Highlight Similarities, Or Challenge Differences
- On Behavior and Approach
- 8) Be Nice To Other Women
- 9) Make Your Intentions Clear
- 10) Complement Her Pace
- Being the Right Guy: No One Size Fits All
- FAQ on how to tell if a girl likes you
- How do you know if a girl likes you but is hiding it?
- How do you know if a girl likes you at work?
- How do you know if a girl is playing hard to get?
- How do you tell if a woman is attracted to you by her eyes?
How to tell if a girl likes you: 15 physical signs
1) She stands taller, pulls her shoulders back and sucks her stomach in.
If she stands taller, pulls her stomach in and her shoulders back, then that’s a great sign that she’s into you.
After all, subconsciously she wants to impress you.
You can easily check out her posture when she walks past you or away from you. If she knows you’re looking, she’ll automatically change her posture like above.
Also, she might wiggle her hips like she is on the catwalk.
Other subconscious physical signs include licking her lips, pushing her neck out or touching her neck.
Because she wants to accentuate her body or face.
Other physical signs of interest can be running her hand through her hair or tilting her head.
In case you’re wondering, here’s an accentuated version of the posture they would use to walk when they know you’re looking (known as the catwalk):
2) Her feet are pointing towards you
This is because humans aren’t really conscious of what our feet are doing.
Watch out for:
– If her feet are pointing towards you, that’s a really good sign.
– If they are pointing completely away from you, or to the door, then she may not be interested.
– If she has her feet under her when she is sitting or her legs tightly crossed, she may be nervous or uncomfortable around you.
– Girls who sit with their feet away from their body may be relaxed when they’re around you. This is a great sign that she’s comfortable spending time with you.
3) Her body is turned towards you
In the same vein, body orientation is an important indicator that she likes you.
Turning her body towards you and giving you her full presence is a great sign.
Just like her feet, the body subconsciously turns towards the person they’re interested in.
It’s something that most people don’t consciously think about.
So keep an eye out for where her feet and her body are positioned in relation to you.
If she talks to you without moving her body towards yours, that might not be a good sign.
(In my new article, I explain why women don’t choose the guy who makes the most “sense” to be with – they look for these 3 ‘body language cues’ instead. Check it out here).
4) She notices and reacts when you touch her
How a woman responds to physical touch is an excellent indicator of whether she likes you.
If she likes you, she’ll definitely notice when you touch her, even if it’s a very platonic touch. She might blush, smile or even get closer to you.
If she doesn’t like you, she’ll likely pull away when you touch her.
Of course, be careful where you touch her and don’t do it inappropriately. If you’re in a conversation, a slight touch on the shoulder is enough to see how she reacts.
5) She’s getting touchy-feely with you
It’s commonly known that people often touch the person they like.
According to behavior analyst Jack Schafer, “women may lightly touch the arm of the person they are talking to. This light touch is not an invitation to a sexual encounter; it merely indicates she likes you.”
Another indicator that she likes you is if just starts preening you. This means picking lint off your clothes or fixing a piece of your clothing that’s crooked.
Also, as we mentioned above, if you want to test out whether she likes you, you can always lightly touch her.
If she quickly pulls away, then she’s not comfortable. This doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like you as it depends how naturally touchy-feely she is.
If she seems like a touchy-feely person with other people, then the fact she pulled away obviously isn’t a good sign.
But if she’s a nervous kind of person, then it may take her time to get comfortable with you touching her, even if she is interested in you.
(Discover 3 practical, easy-to-use body language techniques that tap into the primal desires of women here).
6) She blushes when she’s around you
Blushing is when they develop a pink tinge in the face from embarrassment or shame.
It’s common to blush when you get an unexpected compliment, or you like someone.
So if you find that she blushes when she’s around you, then it’s a good sign that she likes you.
However, make sure she doesn’t easily blush around other people as well.
7) Her pupils dilate
This one is harder to figure out, but dilated pupils are a sign of attraction.
Try to look into her eyes without creeping her out and see if you notice dilated pupils.
Keep in mind that if the lights suddenly dim, her pupils will naturally dilate.
8) She’s copying your gestures and movements
This is a huge sign that someone likes you. It’s something we all do subconsciously.
Watch out for:
– Is she copying your hand gestures when she speaks? Is she mirroring your energy level? If you talk slow, is she suddenly talking slower than usual? If she does any of these, then she might be interested.
– If she likes you, she’ll also copy some words you use, especially slang.
9) She looks at you
If she’s interested and forward, she’ll be looking at you and will maintain eye contact when you lock eyes.
She may smile or she may scan your face and give you a double-take. This is a pretty obvious sign that she likes you and she isn’t afraid to show it, either.
However, if she’s nervous and shy, she may look down when you lock eyes.
If she looks away when you notice her looking at you, that’s also a good sign. It could mean that she’s interested in you, but doesn’t want you to know she’s interested in you.
10) She’s preening herself
What is preening? This is basically the act of “fixing herself” in different ways.
It could be adjusting her clothes, running her fingers through her hair, or putting lip gloss on her lips.
After all, she wants to look better when she’s around you. It can also be put down to nerves. People are naturally fidgety when they’re anxious and nervous.
And let’s be honest, it’s kind of hot when a woman puts herself together, and women subconsciously know this.
And it’s just not small levels of attraction, either. They pull these moves when they’re highly attracted to a man and they want them to know about it.
Here’s a 20-second example of preening – though it’s slightly exaggerated – women will usually be a little more subtle unless they’re incredibly direct.
11) She leans in and tilts her head
If she’s leaning in when she talks to you, she’s trying to tell you she’s engaged. This is especially the case if you’re with a group of people. She’s obviously most engaged with what you’re saying.
It’s also a way to subconsciously pull you in her direction so that you can get a bit of a two-on-two time.
In the same vein, head tilting shows interest and engagement. She’s letting you know she’s present and in the conversation.
Make sure you respect this sign and engage yourself in the conversation. Don’t lean in. You don’t want to appear needy as you already have her attention.
But maintain solid eye contact and be interested in the conversation.
12) She’s using “open” body language
Is she comfortable around you?
You can tell by noticing if she’s loose with her body language. Is she spreading her arms and legs? This is a great sign that she’s comfortable.
However, it doesn’t specifically suggest attraction as she’ll also be comfortable around friends as well.
It’s really going to depend on context. If you haven’t known her for very long, and she’s using loose body language, then that’s an excellent sign that there’s a strong connection between the two of you.
Comfort is important for women when it comes to selecting a boyfriend.
Also, this will depend on her personality. If she’s the shy type, then it’s unlikely she’ll use loose body language even if she does like you.
But if she’s direct and confident, this type of body language is an excellent indicator that she likes you.
13) She’s visibly nervous or shy
If she likes you, and she doesn’t know you that well, then she’s more likely to get nervous and shy around you.
After all, she wants to make a good impression.
According to Business Insider, there are seven signs to look for to tell if someone is nervous:
1) They touch their face. This can include squeezing their face, pushing their cheek or rubbing their forehead.
2) They blink more frequently. Researchers have found that eye-blink rate increases when someone is nervous.
3) They compress their lips. This is an instinctual response to protect ourselves from danger.
4) They play with their hair. Hair twirling is a way to alleviate anxiety. It’s stress reducing.
5) They contort their hands. This can either be interlaced squeezed fingers, rotating hands back and forth awkwardly or cracking knuckles.
6) They rub their hands together.
7) They yawn excessively. This is a strange one, but research has found that yawning helps regulate our body temperature, bringing cool air into the nose and mouth. (Stress and anxiety cause the brain to get hotter).
So if she’s presenting these signs around you, then she could be nervous which is a great sign that she likes you (assuming you don’t know her very well yet).
As she gets to know you more, the nerves should go away, and you’ll be able to build a connection.
14) She caresses an object in her hands
This one is interesting, and sometimes it can be difficult to differentiate from normal holding.
So, here’s what to look out for:
The most important factor with this sign is how she holds an object. Is she caressing it gently? Stroking it while looking at you directly? If so, that’s a tremendous subconscious sign that she’s picking up what you’re putting down.
If she just holds an object tightly and gives you fleeting eye contact, then that’s not really a sign of anything.
But holding eye contact while caressing an object in her hands is an excellent indicator that she likes you.
If she likes you, she may also hold the object in your direction, just like how she would point her feet or body in your direction.
If she’s shielding the object from you, holding it tightly and moving her body away from you, then that’s not a good indicator that she likes you.
15) Remember, it’s in the small details
The most important consideration you need to understand when it comes to body language is that women are much more subtle than men when it comes to conveying interest.
In fact, researchers have found that women are usually the ones who make the first move; albeit in a subtle way.
For example, researchers in the 80s and 90s documented early courtship behavior in a series of creative observational studies in bars, dance clubs and other places where people meet.
What did they notice?
They found that women were the ones who signaled to men who interested them, helping the man to approach.
They found that women signaled their interest by:
– A long, steady scan around the room, ultimately fixing her gaze on a man she finds attractive.
– Once eye contact is reciprocated, she will smile and then break the gaze.
– She will preen herself (as we spoke about above).
– She will adopt an open body posture.
– She will orient her body to face him.
Now we’ve spoken about all of these signs, but I’m bringing it up again because it’s important to remember that they’re subtle signs. Women won’t be explicit about it.
So don’t get bummed when you think a girl doesn’t like you. It’s more likely that you’re not noticing the subtle signs.
1) Her personality changes when she’s around you
Subtle changes in personality will indicate that she likes you. However, they may also indicate that she doesn’t like you.
Before you make assumptions based on these clues, you’ll need to get a baseline with how she acts around her friends.
Once you have that, watch out for:
– Is she more bubbly and enthusiastic when she’s around you? This could be a sign that she is trying to impress you.
Some girls, however, will get more shy, awkward and quiet when they are around you. If she goes red in the face or she looks down, then she may be shy and nervous because she likes you.
– If she’s not interested, then she may turn her body away from you, and give you short, nothing answers.
She may act annoyed when you disrupt her or take her time away. Or she may direct her attention towards others she’s more romantically interested in.
– Is she treating you differently to others? This can include things like a playful tap on the arm, or a friendly arm around you. If she doesn’t do this to others, then it may indicate that she likes you.
2) If you do something out of the ordinary, she blushes or seems flustered
When you’re around her, do something that totally surprises her. This could be an unexpected compliment, or you could playfully touch her on the arm.
She doesn’t have time to prepare her response, so this will be an excellent indicator as to whether she likes you.
– If she blushes and seems flustered, then that’s an excellent sign that she wants to impress you. She may also run her hand through her hair or adjust her clothing.
– If she seems annoyed that you’ve distracted her or done something out of the ordinary, then she may not be interested.
How are her friends acting towards you? If when you come over to them, they make an effort to leave you two alone, then it’s pretty obvious that they know that she likes you.
They may also giggle, whisper or enthusiastically smile at you when you’re around.
– If she has spoken to her friends about you, they may also try to get know to you to make sure you’re a good guy and suitable for her.
4) She pays attention to you
– If she likes you, she’ll relish the time you two have together. She’ll give you undivided attention and will be enthusiastic about the exchange.
– If she’s shy, she’ll want to stay in the conversation and prolong the time you have together, but she may not seem that enthusiastic.
– If you’re in a group and she watches you more than she watches others, then that’s an excellent sign that she likes you.
– On the other hand, if she is looking at her phone when you’re talking one-on-one or she seems distracted, then she may not be that into you.
5) She gets flustered when you say hello as she is talking to another guy
The reaction she has when you say hello and she’s talking with another guy will tell you whether she likes you or not.
– If she is flustered, blushing or shy, then this could be a sign that she’s worried that you think she like this guy and not you.
She even might try to pull you in the conversation to show she likes you or she’ll take a step back from the guy she’s talking to show you it’s nothing romantic.
These are great signs that she cares about what you think and doesn’t want you to get the wrong impression.
– If she doesn’t really notice you, or just views your “hello” as a distraction, then she might not be into you and is more into the guy she’s talking to.
– If there are a group of people, check to see if she’s looking at you and monitoring your reactions.
This is a great sign that she cares about how you’re reacting to the people around her.
– Remember, don’t read too much into her behavior if she is talking to “guy friends”. It’s likely that she’s comfortable around them, which may cause you to wrongly think that she romantically likes them.
6) When she does or says something, she looks at you to see what your reaction is
This is a huge indicator that’s fairly easy to notice. This is particularly the case when you’re in a group of people.
If she’s looking at you after she’s said something, then it’s a great indicator she’s seeking your approval or trying to impress you.
Watch out for when she tells a joke to a group of people. She’ll look at your reaction first to see if you find it funny. That is of course if she likes you.
7) Different personalities will show they like you in different ways
It’s important to remember that people express interest in different ways.
– If she’s an alpha female and confident, then she’ll be pretty forward that she likes you.
She’s not going to come out and say it, but her physical postures will present you with clues.
As we mentioned before, she’ll likely pull her shoulders back, suck her stomach in and wiggle her hips when she walks. She’ll also give you strong eye contact.
If she’s the shy or anxious type, then it’s going to be a little more difficult.
Signs of blushing or looking down at the ground are generally good signs if they’re the shy type.
The anxious/avoidant types will generally appear aloof, so watch out for the subconscious physical signs.
– Also, keep in mind that most girls will wait for the guy to make the first move.
So, if you’re fairly confident that she likes you, then you might want to cut to the chase and ask her out. At least you’ll know for sure.
8) She’s asking personal questions
Many men don’t pick up on this sign.
Personal questions don’t mean the normal “getting to know you” questions. It’s questions that go beyond that.
She’s trying to get to know you for who you are. Perhaps the questions might have an emotional bent.
For example, instead of “what do you do,” it might be, “what motivates you to do what you do?”
Watch out for questions that you’re not really used to. She’ll take more time with her questions, and she’ll tailor them towards you.
They’ll be more considered and it’s an excellent sign of interest and attraction.
Social media time is time where we can literally do whatever we like. There’s a world to explore on the Internet, and she’s choosing to explore you.
However, what’s more, important here is to keep an eye on how engaged she actually is. Is she giving you one-word responses? That’s not a good sign.
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But if her responses are thoughtful, that’s a good sign.
How quickly is she responding? The quicker, the better.
But it’s also likely that she won’t to appear too desperate by replying immediately. If she really likes you, she might take 15 planned minutes to respond.
If she’s not responding for days, then it’s probably not a good sign.
Another strong indicator that she likes you is “liking” and interacting with your posts on social media. Facebook/Instagram/Twitter etc. are all run on algorithms. So if she’s clicked on your photos before and stalked your profile, your posts are going to appear at the top of her newsfeed.
If she hasn’t interacted with social media account before, then she might not even see your update.
10) She’s drunk dialing you
You’ve probably heard the saying:
“A drunk person’s words are a sober person’s thoughts.”
Alcohol has a way of making you more honest with your emotions. So if she’s messaging and calling you when she’s drunk, she probably wants to be with you.
She’s obviously got you on your mind and alcohol is forcing her to take action.
If this becomes a common occurrence, then you might want to bite the bullet and organize a drinking date with her. It will be a great way to express your feelings to each other.
11) She’s trying to let you know she’s single – and she wants to know if you have a girlfriend
This can slide past a lot of guy’s heads. I’m not necessarily talking about the question:
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
That’s an extremely obvious sign that she likes you. Most girls won’t be that direct.
Instead, she’ll be subtle about getting you to reveal yourself. Perhaps she’ll mention that she’s single in the hope that you react saying you’re single. Maybe she’ll mention that she went by herself to a wedding the other weekend.
Keep on the lookout for little things like this. If she’s trying to let you know she’s single and she wants to know your status, she probably likes you and wants to know that there could be a future between the two of you.
12) She laughs at your stupid jokes – and smiles a lot when you talk to her
You know they’re stupid jokes. Everyone around you knows they’re stupid jokes. She knows they’re stupid jokes.
Yet, here she is, laughing her heart out at your stupid jokes.
So if she’s laughing at your jokes that make other people cringe, she likes you.
Another good sign is that she’ll also smile a lot when you’re speaking. You make her feel good, and she wants to impress you with her glowing smile.
13) Conversations between you two seem effortless
This is a great sign that there’s chemistry and rapport between the two of you. And when there’s chemistry and rapport, the more likely it will be that she likes you.
Also, if she likes you, she’s probably making more of an effort in the conversation. She’s asking questions and being talkative because she wants to avoid any awkward silences.
If you like her, you’re probably doing the same which is making the conversation flow nicely.
14) She’ll start to reveal her quirky side
When a girl starts to become comfortable being around you, she’ll reveal more of who truly is.
Where she may have hidden her geeky or quirky traits in the beginning, she’s now become more open and comfortable with being herself.
As a result, she’ll naturally start to reveal her quirky or geeky side. She knows that you’ll accept her for who she is.
This by itself doesn’t mean she’s like you. After all, she can feel comfortable with a friend.
But if you’re not in the friend zone yet, then this is a good sign that she’s comfortable with you and likes you.
15) She’s telling you personal things about your life
In the same vein, when she becomes comfortable with you, she’ll reveal more about her personal life.
This is a great sign that she sees you as someone she can trust.
But in the same token, it doesn’t necessarily mean she likes you, though it a good sign.
If you’ve been friends with her for a while, then she’ll undoubtedly reveal more about herself because she feels comfortable with you, not because she likes you romantically.
But if you haven’t known her that long and she’s revealing personal things about her life that most people don’t talk about, then she clearly likes you.
If she does this, then it shows that she wants other people to know that you two are hanging out.
Perhaps she’s trying to claim her territory, or she’s just excited to be with you.
Whatever it is, it’s clearly a very good sign that she likes you.
This signal could be portrayed in many different ways, such as a check-in on Facebook with you, an Instagram story or a status update.
17) She’s posting on your Facebook wall or tagging you in things
This is the same as above. She could be doing this because she’s looking to claim her territory. She wants other people to know that you’re close with her.
This can only be a good sign that she likes you.
18) She immediately says yes when you ask to hang out
If she likes you, then it’s no secret that she’ll want to hang out with you.
So when you ask her out on a date, she’ll likely jump at the chance and say yes.
If she has plans or is busy, she’ll probably try to reschedule with you to another time.
Though keep in mind that if you’ve only met once, or it’s an early stage of your relationship, then she won’t want to appear needy. Females are socially intelligent so appearing as non-needy is important to them.
Therefore, she won’t immediately say yes. She may take her time before she says yes, or she might even try to change what you suggested to do.
But in the end, if she likes you, she’ll want to spend more time with you, and she’ll say yes when you ask her out.
19) Keep in that mind that some girls will be indecisive about whether they like you
Some girls will be absolutely interested in you, while others will still be deciding for themselves.
These girls are the type that will treat you like a king one day and then the next day like you mean nothing to them.
I can’t stress this enough: Watch out for these girls, because it could be mean one of two things:
– She’s trying to manipulate and take advantage of you. It’s important to know your worth and avoid being “used” to make herself feel better or to make someone else jealous.
If you think this might be the case, it’s crucial for your emotional health to stay away.
– Or she could simply be indecisive and unsure of what she wants. Again, staying with a girl like this could be bad for your emotional health. She’ll play you around.
It’s best to give someone like this their space and move on.
20) There’s plenty of fish in the sea, so choose wisely
If she does like you, then great, you can ask her out and see where it takes you.
If she doesn’t like you, then that’s also great. You can move on and find someone that is better suited to you.
It’s important to remember that there’s plenty of fish in the sea and you’re kidding yourself if you think that this one girl is the “best” girl for you.
There are all different types of girls in this world, and there are plenty of girls that will make you happy.
Now if you’ve been through these signs and you’re confident she does indeed like you, it’s time to take it further (if that’s what you want to do).
So if she likes you and you think that you might like her, here are some tips on how you can act to get to know her and possibly take the relationship further.
7 things to do if you’re confident she likes you
1. Express interest back and get to know her.
Strike up conversations so you can get to know her better. If you’re not particularly close, but it’s clear (from the signs above) that she does like you, it’s time to initiate conversations with her so you can build some rapport.
Rapport is key to build some connection and figure out if you two are right together.
You don’t have to do anything fancy to initiate a conversation with her. After all, you already know she likes you.
So be casual and start small. Ask her how she’s going, what she does for work and what her hobbies are.
It may sound boring, but because you both like each other you’ll both make an effort to answer each other’s questions which will keep the conversation flowing.
If you can find a common interest, such as sports teams you barrack for or TV shows you both like, it will make the conversation follow a lot easier.
You may also want to ask about travel if you want to make a good impression.
Richard Wiseman ran a study that looked into what topics work best on a first date. He found that the most successful topic leading to the best impression was travel.
The study also found that asking for advice proves to be a winner as well.
This is a great way to get her talking and if she’s giving advice, she’ll feel like she’s being helpful and you might pump up her ego, too.
“When you ask for advice, people do not think less of you, they actually think you’re smarter. By asking someone to share his or her personal wisdom, advice seekers stroke the advisor’s ego and can gain valuable insights.”
So, when you think of something to talk about, ask for some advice on something you know they’ll be able to answer.
2. Compliment her from time to time
This is a great way to show your interest and keep it classy. You can reference a physical characteristic or personality trait that you like about her.
This is a great way to express your affection. Make sure not to be too sexual as you may turn her off a bit.
It’s better to reference her eyes or her smile rather than her butt or breasts. For example, if she has attractive, blue eyes, you can say, “I love your eyes. They’re extremely pretty and blue”.
If you love the fact that she is positive and bubbly, you can say “I love how you’re always so upbeat. It makes me feel great.”
3. Get her number or contact on messaging apps
Once you’ve spoken to her for a while and you’ve built some rapport, you can get her number. If you know she likes you, you’ll probably only need to chat with her for 5 minutes before you ask.
Once you get her on a messaging device, it’s going to be a lot easier. You begin texting later that night or even the next day.
Remember, because she likes you, there’s no need to do anything fancy. Simply begin the text asking how her day has been and what she is up to this week.
After you’ve been through a few texts, you can ask her out. Keep it casual and ask to go for a drink or coffee.
Your main priority is just to get a meeting in so you can build a connection with her.
Once you’ve gone through the first date and you’ve had a nice, friendly conversation for 30 minutes or an hour, it’s all going to become a lot easier.
4. When you meet up with her, be yourself
Jamie Long’s Psy.D. advice in Psychology Today advises to “talk about yourself as who you are today in the present and the values and goals you have for yourself in the future.”
Too many people worry about whether they’re interesting, smart, or attractive enough for a person they’re seeing for the first time.
Out of anxiety, some of us end up fabricating lies about our jobs and our personal lives just to make ourselves look a little bit more interesting.
Not that it helps in the long-run. A relationship founded on lies is never going to work out.
Before going on that first date, remember first and foremost that you’re awesome just the way you are. Even if you think you’re behaving awkwardly, it’s much better to be yourself than someone else. Remember, she likes you anyway! There’s no need to make up stories or use pick up lines.
Take a shot (or two or three) or call a friend to settle the nerves. Stop worrying so much because, after all, this is just your first date. Your primary goal should be to enjoy the day.
5) Most importantly, just keep the conversation going
A surefire way to not get a second date is to be a boring conversationalist. That’s not just science talking, that’s every person on the planet.
Studies show that if you’re going on a date, with a woman particularly, it’s better to let go of the cheesy pick-up lines and focus on an engaging conversation starter instead.
As we mentioned above, Richard Wiseman ran a study that looked into what topics work best on a first date. He suggested that the best topic to talk about was travel.
But perhaps the most consistent suggestions that comes from research on conversations is to ask for someone’s advice on something.
This is a great way to get someone talking and if they’re giving advice, they’ll feel like they’re being helpful and you might pump up their ego, too.
Also, some people aren’t great at expressing themselves, so if you struggle in the conversation department, have a list of questions that you can ask to keep the conversation going.
If you’re looking for some questions, here is a list of 36 questions from a psychologist to spark a deep connection.
Here are 5 to get you started:
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
- What would constitute a perfect day for you?
- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
Thankfully, we live in an age where it would be totally cool to pull out your phone with questions on it and declare, “I thought it would be fun to each answer these questions to get to know each other a bit better!”
6) Don’t be afraid to tease her
Who doesn’t love witty banter?
Don’t be afraid to poke fun at them and joke around with them a little bit.
Studies have shown using humor in conversations makes a person appear as more likable, and telling jokes can bring a sense of calm to the conversation during the flirting process.
Tease them just enough that they laugh but not so much that they think you’re an inconsiderate jerk by the end of the day.
It’s only natural for people to enjoy the company of those who they think can pick their brains.
So don’t hesitate to throw in a sassy line or two; chances are they’re going to think you’re confident, witty, and undeniably attractive.
So much so that they could already be planning date number two!
7) Organize a second date
The key now is to keep the rapport and connection going. So you’ll want to continue getting meetings with her. The more dates you have with her, the easier it’s going to be for the relationship to grow.
So continue being a nice guy, building the rapport and having fun with her. After 2 or 3 dates you can try to kiss her and hold her hand. If that works out, then a few days later you can start taking things more seriously.
On the other hand, if you think she doesn’t like you, you may need to work on yourself to improve your attractiveness.
10 Tips On Becoming A Well-Rounded, Attractive Guy
1) Be A Fun Conversationalist
Women are interested in guys who can actually talk about something in-depth.
It doesn’t matter if you’re into movies, video games, sports, politics, or food – the point is to have topics in your arsenal that you feel comfortable with.
You don’t have to be the smartest guy in the room to be a great conversationalist.
If you have something passionate about (bonus points if she has no idea what it is), share it with her and use it as a conversation point.
It lets her know that you have your own set of interests and hobbies, making you look more interesting.
2) Practice Good Hygiene
Having good hygiene doesn’t mean you have to spend 30 minutes every day blow drying your hair.
Good hygiene can be as simple as brushing your hair, keeping yourself cleanly shaven or trimmed, and styling your hair with wax.
A guy who puts thought into his grooming looks put together and in control of himself. You don’t have to bathe in cologne to be properly groomed.
It’s really all about tidying yourself up and making sure you look presentable.
A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself whether or not you would go into a job interview looking like you do now.
If the answer is no, chances are she won’t be very impressed with your effortless scruffy look either.
3) Wear Clothes That Fit
Looking dapper doesn’t have to be expensive. Forget the advice telling you to shop for new clothes you won’t feel comfortable in.
In fact, you don’t even have to change your current style to look great in clothes.
The most fundamental, and often overlooked thing, about looking sharp is simply getting clothes that fit.
When shopping for shirts, don’t over or underestimate your body size and get ones that fit just right.
How do you know if it’s the right fit? Make sure the shoulder cut on the shirt matches where your actual shoulders are.
When it comes to pants, get something that flatters your body type. If all else fails, you can slip into your comfiest pair of trousers and get it tailored for a better fit.
4) Mind Your Body Language
The first thing anyone will notice about you is your body language: the way you walk into a room or how you interact with the world around you.
Relationship experts even suggest observing a person’s body language to get a pure understanding of someone, because unlike speech, these are supposedly subconscious cues of the body that reveal much about ourselves.
Be aware of your body language and what it communicates.
You can practice with friends and family members and ask how your gestures, posture, stance, and general demeanor reflect who you are.
This will prepare you when you’re finally around the girl that you like.
The secret to sexy body language is to never overcompensate. You can start with practicing better posture and maintaining eye contact when talking to people.
Don’t try to project a “confident stance” – this will only leave you feeling uncomfortable and looking awkward.
On Positive Psychological Tricks
5) Be A Familiar Figure
Human beings like things that are familiar, and that includes the woman you’re interested in.
Be familiar enough that she actually recognizes your presence and notices it when you’re gone.
Proximity creates attraction; just by simply being around someone, you get to spend more time together and learn more about them.
However, don’t be so familiar that she considers you her new best friend. Avoid falling into the friend zone by striking a balance between familiarity and individuality.
6) Keep Things New And Exciting
The one thing that is guaranteed to set you apart from all the other guys is introducing something new to her life.
Maybe there’s a dish in your hometown you can share with her or a great underrated movie she’s never seen.
It doesn’t have to be a romantic adventure – it can be as simple as making an exclusive handshake or telling some inside jokes.
The point is to introduce novelties in your life that will keep you new and exciting.
This will allow you to create little moments together that are just “yours”, and she’ll always have new, fun memories that she will associate with you.
7) Highlight Similarities, Or Challenge Differences
If you like the same things, use that to your advantage, but don’t hide your differences either. Having an opinion is an attractive trait and makes her know you’re not a boring yes man.
If you can tease her about your different tastes and be playful about it, then all the better. This affirms that you are a confident, well-rounded person who isn’t afraid to challenge or be challenged.
No matter how it plays out, you can use both similarities and differences as great conversation points, and even use those as excuses to hang out.
You can see a band you both like or you can either convince her to watch your favorite one. It’s a win-win situation!
On Behavior and Approach
8) Be Nice To Other Women
Women are attracted to men who have respectable, functional relationships with other women.
Guys who have hateful relationships towards their mothers or who always complain about exes are a universal red flag for women.
If you want her to feel safe around you, show her that you’re a nice person to other women, not just with her.
When you’re hanging out around her friends, don’t hesitate to talk about their interests and engage them in friendly conversation.
Hanging out with her older sister or a senior colleague from work? Treat them with the same respect you would treat older women in your life.
When you treat everyone around you nicely, the girl you like will pick up on that (especially if you’re not trying) and see you as a genuinely kind person.
9) Make Your Intentions Clear
PUAs like to talk about the push and pull method, where you rope in a girl with a conversation but push her enough with a backhanded comment or playful joke to make her wonder if you are really attracted to her or not.
Women see through these “techniques” and will often shut you down if you’re trying to overcompensate for your insecurity.
Again, the girl you like is just like any other person you want to be close with – to make it happen, you need to show sincerity.
10) Complement Her Pace
Complementing her pace is all about understanding how she wants to proceed with the courtship, flirtation, or relationship, while introducing your own pace.
If the woman you are interested in likes to take things slow, you don’t necessarily have to move at a glacial pace just to have a chance at one date.
You can ask her out but assure her that you don’t expect anything from the date to keep her at ease.
If you’re interested in a girl who’s into casual flings but you’re the type of guy who is into more serious relationships, you can manage this by hanging out with her sporadically and planning activities you know she would like, without ever making her feel like you’re in a serious, committed relationship.
It’s all about knowing what she likes and meeting halfway without compromising things that are non-negotiable to either of you.
Being the Right Guy: No One Size Fits All
Just because these tips worked on some guys doesn’t mean they’ll work for everyone.
Just as guys are different, women will like different things, and there’s no guarantee that the tips here will work on the girl you like every single time.
The good news is that these tips are geared towards making you a better, more confident gentleman.
So even if you get shot down a couple times, remember that you are creating a better version of yourself that’s a lot more pleasant to be around.
Continue working on yourself and your relationship with others and a lucky girl is bound to pick up on your positive energy and get magnetized by your charm.
FAQ on how to tell if a girl likes you
How do you know if a girl likes you but is hiding it?
You need to look to body language cues as she is not going to admit it. So here’s what to look for: If her feet and body are pointing towards you, she likes you. If she blushes when you give her a compliment, she likes you. Is she copying your gestures and movements? That’s a good sign. If she’s “preening” herself – adjusting her clothes, or lips or hair when she is around you, then she most likely likes you. And finally, if she is visibly nervous or shy around you, then she might like you.
How do you know if a girl likes you at work?
By analyzing her eye contact with you. If you look at her and she maintains eye contact with you, she likes you. If her eyes wander to your mouth, she likes you. If she looks away quickly when you catch her looking, she’s probably interested and shy. If she says something to a group or tells a story, she will look straight to you first to see your reaction.
How do you know if a girl is playing hard to get?
If she's a naturally shy person, she might appear like she's playing hard to get. However, she is just trying to protect herself from putting her feelings out there. She may be waiting for you to make the first move so she can be sure you actually like her. If she doesn't give you much in conversations but continues to hang around you and chat with you on messaging apps, then she's likely shy or playing hard to get.
How do you tell if a woman is attracted to you by her eyes?
If she’s interested and forward, she’ll be looking at you and will maintain eye contact when you lock eyes. She may smile or she may scan your face and give you a double-take. This is a pretty obvious sign that she likes you and she isn’t afraid to show it, either. However, if she’s nervous and shy, she may look down when you lock eyes. If she looks away when you notice her looking at you, that’s also a good sign.
(Discover the science-backed reasons why women think of guys as either “hot” or “not” based on the signals he’s giving off. Check out my new article here)
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