Can’t stop thinking about them even though they don’t seem to be thinking about you anymore?
Break ups can be painful; knowing that they don’t seem to care about you as much just rubs salt on the wound.
While this moment stage in your life may be difficult, it doesn’t mean it’s the end.
There are things that you can do to help you overcome this emotional slump.
While it may be much easier said than done, it’s important that you take small steps to process your feelings.
Once you develop the habit of dealing with your feelings, you might even find yourself living a better life.
Don’t waste another second on a person who couldn’t care less about you with these 11 tips and tricks to finally rid your mind of them.
1. Put Yourself First
Putting yourself first isn’t selfish — it’s necessary.
This doesn’t give you the right, however, to start cutting lines and demanding that the waiter serve your food first.
This just means that you should attend to your feelings, your pains, your experiences first.
After a break up is the most common time for people to begin reflecting on themselves.
Now that you’re back being single, you’ll need to learn to adjust to the life that comes with it.
That starts with accepting the reality of what happened; your, now, past relationship, and who you are right now.
2. Focus On Your Friends And Family
The thing about our ability to focus is that we can actively choose what to focus on.
Just because your mind wanders to that person doesn’t mean that you aren’t still in control.
You can either feel down because the rose bush has thorns, or you could rejoice because the thorn bush has roses.
Instead of thinking about someone that doesn’t care about you, you can always shift your focus on the people that do.
You can remember your friends and family that stuck by you through your mourning period.
You can go back to the times when they heard you out while you told them of your problems.
There are always going to be people in this world that care about you.
3. Accept What You Feel
If you’re feeling angry, don’t avoid it. If you’re feeling sad, don’t fake your happiness. What you avoid is going to persist and stick with you.
They are feelings left unattended, causing them to linger until you acknowledge them.
If you’re trying to deny that you still love that person, the more that you need to attend to it.
Once you accept your feelings and allow yourself to feel them, you’re more able to process them.
Keeping a journal and writing in it every day has been found to help reduce feelings of depression and anxiety in individuals.
The best part of the journal is that you don’t have to show it to anyone — it’s just you in conversation with yourself. You might find that to be a helpful and healing experience.
4. Return To The Present
When you get broken up with, it can be easy to keep replaying the moment in your head.
It’s playing on a loop in your mind and, as painful as it is, you can’t help but leave it on.
You begin asking yourself “What could I have done better?” or “Where did I go wrong?”.
As meaningful as you may be while asking those questions, nothing is going to come from this.
No amount of replaying and regret is going to change the fact that that person no longer cares about you.
When you accept reality and that what is done is done, you avoid going down that swirling dangerous cycle.
You can’t change what happened before. Return to the present. This is where you can actually do something to change your future.
5. Give Yourself The Respect That You Deserve
It took courage to put yourself out there and be vulnerable. You were merely being true to your feelings.
Who could fault you for being who you were?
For opening yourself up to the person because you believed that they would care for you?
No one could’ve known that you would eventually split up, but you acted despite that.
You had the courage to take the leap.
Not many people are so brave.
Because of that, you need to remember to show yourself the respect that you deserve.
6. Find A Healthy Outlet To Express Yourself
Returning to single life doesn’t always have to be a depressing experience.
This is the time to explore; a time for you to step out of your comfort zone and try something new.
Always wanted to try rock climbing but you’re afraid of heights?
Maybe the jolt of adrenaline is just what you need to pick yourself up from the post-break-up slump.
This is why it’s common for men to hit the gym or women to get drastically different hairstyles.
You can redirect your focus towards rebuilding and remodeling yourself.
This is your chance to start fresh in your life.
You might also find it beneficial to keep your schedule filled with activities to help you get your mind off of your ex.
7. Learn From Your Experience
This phase of your life is exactly what it is — a phase.
Your life will keep going. Your story keeps going.
In the grand scheme of your life, you can view your previous relationship as a valuable lesson that you learned.
You can see it as a lesson in love and commitment; a story that you can tell others to teach them how to love honestly.
You can also view your heartbreak as a chance to learn what kind of person is right for you, and what you’re willing to do in a relationship.
Maybe you never realized that you had the capacity to love that much.
Or that you didn’t know how supportive your friends and family can be of you.
It’s in our most difficult and painful moments that shape and strengthen our character.
You have survived this experience and now you’ve grown because of it.
8. Cut Your Ties With Them
Now that they’re gone, they’re off living their own life, and you’re now living yours.
What you can do to guarantee that they won’t distract you and occupy your thoughts anymore is by cutting your ties with them.
Unfollow and unfriend them on social media.
Remove their name from your favorite contacts.
The less that you encounter them in your daily life, the easier it is for you to move on.
You can gather the help of your friends if you don’t feel you’re ready enough to let them go like this.
9. Release Them From Your Mind
When you care about someone, that means they occupy space in your mind.
That’s why people say that they’ll keep you in their thoughts when they want to express their sympathies.
When you stop caring for someone, that doesn’t mean that you have to instantly have to hold a grudge against them.
When you stop caring, it means that you release them. You vacate the spot in your mind that they once occupied.
You accept that they were once a part of your life and now they are not.
You have the choice to stop thinking about them and focus your mind elsewhere.
Now is your chance to fill your mind with new memories and experiences — and they don’t even have to be with other people.
They can be experiences of you treating yourself to a nice dinner or building a new workout routine.
10. Practice Self-Love Everyday
While work and catching up with friends can be a nice distraction, you shouldn’t forget about managing your personal, inner life.
Give yourself the chance to sleep in and binge the show that you’ve always been meaning to binge every once in a while.
Or pop on your favorite music and let your emotions guide your dance. Go crazy, dance wonky — it’s just you.
You don’t have to impress anyone.
You can also set daily affirmations to yourself when you wake up.
Tell yourself that you’re going to be productive today; or remind yourself of how strong you are to keep going.
You should always have a space to take care of not only your physical, but mental well-being too.
11. Take Your Time
Getting over a break up doesn’t happen in a single flash moment. It’s something that you work towards slowly.
One day you’ll wake up and realize that what you once stressed about no longer bothers you as much anymore.
That moment will be worth all your efforts.
While we may seek some belonging; someone to tell us that we’re doing a good job or that we’ll overcome our struggles; at the end of the day, the most important person that you should be caring about is yourself.
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