There are as many ways to seduce a married woman as there are married women.
Chances are, if you Googled “how to seduce a married woman” or something along those lines, then you probably have a specific married woman in mind.
If that’s the case, it could be that you think you could offer her more than her husband does, more passion, more security, more orgasms, more bonbons, whatever.
It could be that this person is on the periphery of your daily life, like a coworker, or someone who works at a shop that you frequent. Maybe you’re just into married women and want to break up some homes.
If that’s the case, there’s not much to say. After all, how do you know if someone’s married unless you know a little bit about them first? Don’t answer that.
Any way you slice it, if you’re going to try to seduce a married woman, you’ve got competition.
What do you mean “Who?” Her husband, you putz. That means you’ve got to have game on a level that is sufficient for her to risk losing her marriage, breaking up a family, and enduring the financial trouble, shame, and personal hardship that can come with infidelity.
That being said, seducing a married woman is not something for the faint of heart. You’re going to need more confidence than Duke Nuke ‘Em, and plenty of charm.
But if you’re really committed to the idea, I hope she’s worth it, because the fact is that you may be causing an enormous amount of damage to both of your lives and the lives of everyone in her family — at least.
So you’re willing to take all that on board and still want to move forward with your nefarious plan, here you are:
20 essential tips for seducing a married woman
Alright, you rapscallion. Since we don’t know whether or not you know the married woman you’re planning to seduce, we’re going to take this task on from several angles.
There’s the words-only angle, in case brief conversations are all you have with this person.
There’s the text-only angle, in case you happen to be on texting terms — in which case you should just deliver a pizza to her house and take your chances.
And finally, there’s the physical contact angle — because that’s kind of what we’re going for, aren’t we?
So buckle up, brush your teeth, and breathe through your nose, champ.
How to seduce a married woman with words
The brain is the most significant sexual organ and women have more developed speech centers than men — usually. So, you’re going to have to learn to string a few words into a sentence, sparky.
1) Praise her for unique traits
Every woman wants to feel special and any opportunity to do so could be your essential first step. It’s likely that she does not get compliments on the traits she values most as often as she would like.
Your task is to find out what it is she values most about herself and compliment her on it.
Maybe it’s her style, her wit, her taste in music…
Keep in mind that some people value freedom over security and the converse. Some people want to be seen as intelligent while some want to be seen as kind.
Whatever it is that she values, you need to discover it and compliment her credibly at the earliest believable opportunity.
2) Praise her in unique ways
Not only does a woman want to feel special but she wants to feel that she has an allure that is attractive to a special kind of man.
If you’re hard up to get this woman into bed, chances are she’s at least a 7 out of 10. If we’re talking about an Oklahoma 6, I don’t want to have this conversation.
At any rate, don’t do the obvious compliment, and don’t go for the safe compliment if it’s obviously wrong.
For example, if she’s a 10 and has gorgeous hair — that’s a bit too on the nose. If she’s a rabid coffee drinker and you tell her she has beautiful white teeth, well, for your sake I hope she’s dim-witted.
Be original and be correct in your compliments.
3) Tell her you like the way she thinks
If you did a good job on the first two tips and have got her attention, then you’re likely to get yourself into a bit of chit-chat with her.
Keep the conversation going. Be glad that she’s still talking to you and show it. Use open posture. Stand up straight and smile. Also, have good teeth.
Once the conversation has gone beyond a standard greeting and your cute, quirky, and on-the-money compliment — she should move into talking about the trait you’re just complimented.
If you have a chance with this woman, she will say something like, “Oh, thank you, I use a special conditioner…” She will try to briefly explain why her excellence makes sense. Most people do this. It’s a sign she wants you to think well of her.
Now that she has given you an insight into how she manages to be so great at whatever you complimented her about and has shown that she values your opinion of her — tell her that it’s genius.
Reinforce her confidence and say, “I like the way you think.”
That’s a good note to excuse yourself if the chat needs to end. You can reengage her at another time.
4) Compliment her style of dress and her hair
At a later encounter, or if the chit chat continues — tell her that you like the way she does her hair and/or the way she dresses. Try to segue this comment on the previous one.
You’re not just praising her on her looks. You are praising her for her unique looks.
She has chosen the style you see before you. She went through the trouble to put together a specific look. Even if she’s not pulling it off with the greatest of ease on that particular occasion, still notice it.
If you have much in the way of fashion knowledge, you might use it here, but that’s not necessary.
You don’t want to come off as a cast member of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. But it’s okay to know a bit about fabric and style. If you play your cards right, it could make it seem that you’re a suit guy and that you know a bit about high-quality tailoring. If she’s a society chick, that’s good. If not, it isn’t.
Remember, you’re in a minefield here — a sexy, sexy minefield.
5) Be funny
Most women like a guy that can make them laugh. If you’re able to be funny, do it. But don’t be a clown.
A woman who likes a funny guy feels that wit equals brains which equals potential income. None of that has to be true for it to work in your favor.
If you can’t be funny, be cute, be charming. If you have a nice smile, use it. If you don’t have a nice smile, smile with your mouth closed, but do it warmly.
It’s possible to not be funny and to mention things that are funny and be perceived as funny.
Remember, it’s never so much what you say as to how you make her feel.
If you can make her feel special, show a sense of humor, and show an interest, you’re in like Flynn. Maybe not exactly like Flynn. But close.
6) Say “Thank You”
Most women who are feeling open to an extramarital affair are likely to feel underappreciated. That means you can earn a lot of points by simply saying “thank you.”
It could be for the smallest thing, for anything. If she returns the compliments you should have given her by now in any degree or form — even if she got it all wrong — say “thank you.”
Even if it’s something totally inconsequential like giving you an inch of elbow room on the subway, say “thank you.”
You want to come off as someone who is likely to be appreciative, someone who notices when something has been done for them which did not have to be done.
It is possible to use a thank you in a way that is unexpected. This kind of positive jarring feeling can be very attractive to some women. Sometimes, it will weird them out.
If you feel like it, say “thank you” for no reason at all.
7) Notice her achievements
“You must be very good at your job.”
“That’s a beautiful handbag, I bet it’s expensive.”
“You must have extraordinarily good taste in music.”
These are the kinds of things you want to look for an opportunity to compliment.
Maybe you’ve noticed that she puts some effort into her appearance. That would be one of the easiest ways to praise her for her accomplishments.
Think of this part of the exchange as an extension of the first part, where you are looking for something unique to notice and a unique way in which to notice it.
If she’s a career woman, that’s your cue. If she’s an artist, notice and praise her accomplishments.
Remember, what you’re going for is a chance to show her that you would be supportive of whatever it is that she has committed a vast proportion of her time to — even if it’s only for the next six to eight hours.
How to seduce a married woman with texts
If you have a relationship where you can send unsolicited texts to her, you’re halfway there. This may be a long walk, but it’s an easy one — if you know what you’re doing.
8) The accidental text
I don’t know how you got her phone number and I don’t want to know. But if you’ve got it and you have a good excuse to have it then you can use it.
Everybody butt dials and you’re no different — not anymore.
The idea here is to send her a blank or garbled text message. You’re going to pretend that you sent it by mistake. Alternatively to the blank or garbled text, you could send a text that you will claim was meant for someone else. That’s risky though unless you know it will work and if you’re very clever… so let’s go with blank or garbled text.
The idea is you wait for a response, then you wait some more.
Then, when she responds, just sit on it for at least half an hour. What you’re doing here is sparking up a conversation that you would ordinarily have to reasonable right to be having.
9) Finger off the trigger, sparky
After her initial response, don’t leap into action like some kind of drunk dialing freak.
Remember, you didn’t mean to send the text, so you’re not expecting the response. Let the anticipation simmer. Keep in mind that if you did something like this in person, you’d be a total jackass. Just don’t seem eager.
If the text conversation picks up steam, you can shorten the time between responses generally.
Hopefully, the nature of your dummy text translates into a conversation that is funny, fun, and that involves a wee bit of your personal life — real or imaginary.
10) Chicks like emojis. Guess what, so do you
Women are wired to be attracted to the types of conversation that texting is great for.
You can portray emotion, approachability, humor, and get a lot of information across with the use of the almighty emoji. It’s important that she be the type of lady who isn’t too good for emojis and for “LOL”s and “BRB”s.
Some people think those kinds of things are childish and insufferable.
I wish someone would write 20 tips for seducing a woman who thinks emojis are childish and insufferable. I’d buy whatever they were selling.
Anyway, if the lady doesn’t like texting banter and emojis, don’t use them.
In that case, keep it more formal. Don’t misspell anything. You might tell her she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen and that you’re glad you accidentally texted her.
It might work. This is an art, not a science.
11) Tease her
Alright, now we’re going to cross a line a little bit.
Work in a bit of teasing. Show her that you can be punchy (not literally) and sharp. Show her that you’re not just trying to simp (look it up on Urban Dictionary) your way into her pants.
Women don’t like simps and the ones that do will accuse you of sexual assault if you disagree with them about politics.
So steer clear. Just elbow her a little.
12) Have good timing, FFS
Not to beleaguer the point, but with texting, you’ve got to have good timing.
If you’re too slow on the comeback when you should be fast, it’s a problem. If you’re too fast on the comeback when you should be slow, equally a problem. If you have no idea what we’re talking about, take your chances.
Just try not to seem too eager, unless it’s time to seem eager.
You’ll figure it out, or you’ll die alone. Either way, the gene pool wins.
13) Text before bedtime (her bedtime)
If at all possible, try to send her one last text before she goes to bed.
The idea here is for you to be the last thing on her mind before she nods off to sleep.
Even if she sends you one more text, ignore it. Let her grind into her pillow wondering why you don’t respond. All the better.
After all, you just might have gone to bed yourself, mightn’t you have? You slick son of a gun.
14) Use implanted commands
During your little texting foray, try sprinkling in some command terms.
If something startling or extraordinary comes up in the conversation, you can use a phrase like “fuck me!” in your texting.
If you’re planning to meet her somewhere, you might get the chance to say “go down the stairs or elevator.”
You can be suggestive if it’s in the right context. This does work on some women. We’d explain why, but it would probably be illegal in some countries.
How to seduce any woman with your touch
Assuming something up until this point has gotten you within arms reach of the woman you fancy a romp with, you’re going to have to make her want something more physical than texts and friend-zonish compliments.
15) Touch early, touch often
If your complimenting, texting, subliminal commands, and other bits of subterfuge have worked, you should be meeting somewhere, somehow — in person.
If you’re going to be successful, touching should be acceptable.
A gentle touch on the shoulder, an open hand on the back, the subtle stroke of a finger as you hand something off casually. All these things can be as suggestive as they can be innocent.
If she’s open to something more intimate, she’ll be open to this. If she’s not, she’ll let you know.
16) Your starter moves
The accidental touch of the hands when passing something off is a great way to start. It’s sexy, and it’s almost always okay.
Invite her to drinks. This is a great way to get plenty of chances to touch hands.
Ideally, you should be making the drinks. Also, tables can get in the way. You want her to have to support the weight of the drink when you hand it to her. That gives you the excuse not to have to set the drink down.
If you’ve gone someplace where there’s anything worth looking at, you can use a bit of gentle pressure on the back to encourage her to turn around to see the fireworks, the moon, or wherever it is.
The idea is to introduce the very real idea of physical closeness with you. As always, you have to know your limits, otherwise, you’re going to come off like a creep.
17) The long hug
At some point, a hug is going to be in order.
If you want to end up in the friendzone, be sure to hold your hips out far away from hers.
Do not, I repeat, do not hold your hips out far away from hers during a hug. That is a sign of weakness or physical rejection from you. She’s going to think you’re a closet homosexual if you do that.
Hug her firmly and warmly for at least ten seconds, or for however long feels right. Don’t make her squirm to get away but don’t let go until you really should.
Women like hugs and they really like hugs from someone they want to cheat on their husbands with. So, if you can pull off a long yet comfortable hug, you’re doing well, my wayward son.
Long-game ways to seduce a married woman
If you’ve gotten this far (in reality, not just in reading this article, you meathead), chances are you’re at least within some approximation to your goal.
By now, she may be considering you for a one-night stand, or whatever. The bottom line is, you’re going to have to seal the deal.
Here are three important things to keep in mind so that you can keep circling the rim and not get spiked to center court.
18) Have confidence
Women who like real men like men with confidence. So have some. Know what you want, and go after it openly and unashamedly.
19) Be yourself… hard
Do not try to be someone you are not. That never works, and it reeks of weakness.
Ideally, you want to be yourself while being the best version of yourself. Of course, since you’re trying to seduce a married woman, you’re clearly not looking for much in the way of a meaningful relationship. So, maybe being a phony will work for you.
20) Rejection is only a setback
Remember, just because she tells you “no” once doesn’t mean she might not say “yes” in the future.
Showing her what you want places you into a special category of men she could cheat on her husband with if she ever decides to do that.
Also, there’s nothing wrong with having the hots for someone who has turned you down. Just don’t cross any hard lines, FFS.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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