How to seduce a married man over text (epic guide)

There’s someone you fancy, but unfortunately for you, he’s married.

That’s not the end of the world, of course. Seduce him well enough and you might get what you want. But it won’t be easy.

You need to be more than just the average flirt in order to truly seduce a married man.

In this article, I will guide you how to do it right and give you some things to avoid.

1) Stroke his ego

Men like compliments more than anything. If you are being genuine about it, a compliment well-said can even be better than sex!

Try to figure out what he might want reassurance of and strike him where it matters.

If you know that he plays the guitar, you can say something like “That sounded great! Can you play more?”

The point is, make him feel good about himself. Men tend to be deprived of genuine appreciation, and being given genuine compliments can make them putty in your hands.

2) Give him the chance to show off

If he’s good at math, text him “Hey, can you help me solve something? I’m really having a tough time solving an equation.”

If he says that he’s a good cook, then you can try asking him for recipes or tips.

A man feels good when you make him feel like his skills are valued. And on the plus side, it’s much more subtle than telling him straight away that he’s sexy.

3) Make him feel that he can rely on you

The married man you’re probably into isn’t in a great marriage.

If he opens up about his marriage problems, listen. Make him feel that he can talk to you about anything—even the bad stuff in his relationship.

When you notice him not being himself, message him “Hey, you seem a bit blue. Are you okay? Coffee on me.”

If he mentions he’s having migraines, text him ways to cure his migraine naturally.

You get the drift. Pamper him like a baby, and he’ll get closer and closer to you. That’s a guarantee.

4) Send him sweet nothings

Here’s a secret: most men want sweet girls.

I don’t mean that you have to be sappy and that you should send him quotes and poems. You just have to shower him with affection.

Send him cute memes from time to time, give him a pet name, send him loving texts like “I wish you’re feeling better” or “I saw a poster of your favorite band today and I thought of you.”

They’re sweet but not overly sweet that would make him want to gag. And this is the kind of text you should be aiming for. Cute, but not desperate. He’ll reply in a heartbeat.

5) Be playful

Keep things light.

Coming on too hard can overwhelm or pressure a man. By keeping things light by being playful, you can keep him at ease then you can flirt with him effortlessly.

You can say something like “You’re hot” and put fire emojis, and it would still be “harmless” if you deliver it well.

Heck, you can even say something like “I want to feel your lips” and then put a silly gif of a girl kissing a frog.

This works because even if you do it in a playful, “harmless” way, you’ve already planted in his head that you think he’s hot, or the image of the two of you kissing.

What you shouldn’t do when seducing a married man over text

1) Don’t be demanding

Married men don’t like it when they feel pressured. And that’s because they’re probably already struggling with their own marriage.

When he feels like you want something from him fast—whether it be sex, commitment—he might find it all too overwhelming and begin dropping things so that he could manage his life better.

If you can’t be patient and understanding, don’t pursue a married man.

2) Don’t do something blatant over text (keep that in real life)

We all know there’s a chance that his wife will read your messages. Protect yourself from this kind of mess!

Be playful through text alright, but stay away from leaving obvious proof that you’re seducing him. Keep your “I miss you” for later, when you can whisper them in his ear.

Most of all, don’t send personal info, and don’t send photos that you don’t want the world to see.

3) Don’t give it your all

When you’re dealing with a married man, there’s already that big chance he’s just toying with you. Make sure you’re playing the same game.

Don’t fall in love too fast and give him all you’ve got. Put your feet firmly on the ground even while you’re playing along with him.

Prioritize yourself while you play with fire.


Trying to hit on or date a married man comes with its issues, but you have your reasons.

Maybe you really think he’s the one.

If you really want to go after him, it would help for you to play it safe and try engaging with him through text first.

People often think of seduction as being done in person, so seduction over text is often overlooked. But it only becomes more effective because people don’t expect it.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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