There’s lots of advice out there about how to become the best version of yourself.
But I’ll be honest:
A lot of it is just feel-good bullsh*t.
Here’s a no-nonsense guide about practical and effective ways to push yourself to the limit and beyond.
10 no bullsh*t ways to push yourself to the limit
1) Stop expecting things from other people
Many of us go through life expecting other people to live up to our ideals.
When it doesn’t happen we feel deflated and lost.
You will meet all kinds of people in life, but expecting them to all be honest, kind and compatible with us is totally off base.
It won’t happen, and every time you get let down you will feel more victimized, more disempowered and more frustrated.
So let it go.
Stop expecting things from other people.
Push yourself to the limit with your own motivation, values, goals and energy. If other folks want to join in, great.
If they leave or let you down? Great: more chance for you to find and hone your own inner strength and conviction.
2) Leave nothing on the table
If you want to push yourself to the limit, stop thinking about your limit.
Start focusing proactively on your potential.
- Run longer and faster.
- Learn new things that challenge and fascinate you.
- Take a risk on relationships that you want to be in but were always to scared to try.
- Remove all the labels you have on yourself and throw them in the trash. That’s where they belong.
- Start sticking on new labels about your abilities and your potential instead of your problems.
Imagine you’re inside a control room with a lever. It has two settings:
THINKING and ACTION.
I want you to take it from where it is now on THINKING and push it up to ACTION. A bunch of lights and loud horns will go off when you do this.
You’re now focused on action instead of analysis. You can think when needed. Your job now is to get off your a** and take action.
As ultra-marathon runner, Navy SEAL and bestselling author David Goggins puts it:
“Life is one big tug of war between mediocrity and trying to find your best self.”
3) Set specific, measurable goals
If you want to push yourself to the limit, you need to have specific and measurable goals.
Here’s an example: in the next month I will lose 2 kilograms.
Here’s an example of an unclear and unmeasurable goal: in the future I want to lose weight.
The problem with goals that can’t be measured is that they’re very easy to put off. They give you a lot of room to lie to yourself.
And when the going gets tough, lying to ourselves is very common.
That’s why you want to get rid of all the avenues for self-deception.
Set specific, measurable goals and then do your best to achieve them. Make them realistic and write them down in a notebook or spreadsheet as you do so.
4) Claim your personal power
Focusing on action, specific goals and what’s in your control is great. But it won’t do anything if you still feel weak and helpless.
Looking around, it’s easy to feel like “other people” have some secret ingredient to success and personal development that we’re just missing.
Maybe you’re just naturally “beta” and they’re “alpha?”
I want to discourage you from this line of thinking and self-victimization.
But I also want to assure you that I know how the negative inner monolog goes and how convincing it can be.
So how can you overcome this insecurity that’s been nagging you?
The most effective way is to tap into your personal power.
You see, we all have an incredible amount of power and potential within us, but most of us never tap into it. We become bogged down in self-doubt and limiting beliefs. We stop doing what brings us true happiness.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people align work, family, spirituality, and love so they can unlock the door to their personal power.
He has a unique approach that combines traditional ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. It’s an approach that uses nothing but your own inner strength – no gimmicks or fake claims of empowerment.
Because true empowerment needs to come from within.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of and increase attraction in your partners, and it’s easier than you might think.
So if you’re tired of living in frustration, dreaming but never achieving, and of living in self-doubt, you need to check out his life-changing advice.
5) Get out of your head
Many of us create insurmountable problems that trap us for life.
Inside our own heads.
The fact is:
Thinking and analysis has its place, and being in touch with your emotions is also great.
But if you spend life gazing at your navel and responding to every up and down you’re never going to get anything done.
Stop being so focused on the thoughts that pass through your head and the feelings that come and go.
Be clear on your core values, interests and plan and then take action.
Let me give a simple example that illustrates this:
I can sit here writing about how great it feels to be out in the sun and feeling its warm rays on my shoulder. I can make you almost have that sensation as you sit imagining it.
Or I can step outside and feel it.
I’ll take option two!
Whatever it is that we’re talking about: love, life, career, athletics, nothing will ever replace actual experience.
6) Find your discomfort zone
Many of us are conditioned to feel comfortable and seek comfort.
We chase pleasure and avoid pain, spinning out in futile exhaustion on a Pavlovian hamster wheel.
It achieves nothing and leaves us deflated and lost, sitting on a couch in a room somewhere and wondering where we went wrong.
We went wrong by seeking pleasure and comfort and avoiding pain.
You won’t ever grow or push yourself to the limit until you truly realize the potential and incredible power of discomfort.
Discomfort and struggle are the zone of growth.
A runner has the biggest rush just after feeling like they will physically collapse but not doing so.
Stop avoiding suffering: we’re all going to suffer anyway, and the most powerful thing you can do is go out and intentionally suffer in order to hone yourself into the person you want to become.
No pain, no gain.
“A lot of us don’t know about another world that exists for us because it’s on the other side of suffering.
“That’s the real growth in life.”
7) Use rock bottom as your motivation
Part of finding your discomfort zone is knowing what rock bottom is and learning to have a deep respect for it.
When everything you’ve done has failed, you are just beginning your journey.
The most successful people on earth didn’t see any failure as final, and even dreams which died out only led them to diversify and go for new goals.
Instead of seeing failure and struggle as the end…
Recognize that they are a foundation.
The times you were desperate, crying and lost but still survived have made you into who you are today. They have molded every strand of your winner’s DNA.
Even the setbacks, humiliations, racism, misunderstanding and bullying you never chose and that was imposed on you from an unjust and ignorant world, can be a source of power and fuel if you let it.
Listen to Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson talk about exactly this philosophy and how it turned his entire life around and keeps him going still today.
8) Work your ass off
I’d love to write a list that tells people everything they want to hear and makes them feel that “good vibes” or inner peace are the path to success.
And I mean sure, those have their place. Absolutely.
But if you want to actually push yourself to the limit and surprise even yourself, you have to work your ass off.
I don’t mean this in a way of drudgery and letting some guy in a cheap tie tell you what to do.
I mean that you need to find your priorities and then work as hard as you can to make them a reality.
Then you need to take each failure and setback and just let it motivate you even more.
Behind every true success story are hours of work and intense energy that you never saw.
Behind every shining smile is a mountain of pain that was transformed into gain.
Make it so.
9) Bust through your limiting beliefs
There’s another big part of our psyche and modern society that tends to trap us in mediocrity.
It’s our own limiting beliefs that society and conditioning has placed inside us.
If you have a car with an amazing motor but the driver’s manual is upside down, that motor won’t be worth shit to you.
In fact, you have a good chance of breaking it and flooding the engine or breaking it beyond repair.
It’s the same with the values many of us have been conditioned with.
They seem logical on the surface but if you look deeper you may find that a lot of what’s driving you is, well…
The truth is that if you want to push yourself to the limit you are going to have to clear some cobwebs.
Far too often, our mental limits and inner beliefs end up restricting us and preventing growth and authenticity.
That’s why you need to take bold steps to break out of the social conditioning that has you in its grasp.
Telling you who you are…
Telling you what you’re capable of…
Telling you what to value and believe.
When we let lies and half-truths trap our spiritual evolution and mental development, our potential remains reduced and crippled.
I highly recommend the Free your mind masterclass, a free lesson about how to escape the scams that surround us and keep us down.
10) Find allies who share your goals
Last and far from least, if you want to push yourself to the limit you are well-advised to find others who want the same!
Whether it’s a gym buddy, a fellow person studying philosophy or somebody who shares your desire to build a new technology that will change the world, having a partner in crime should never be underrated.
Having a dedicated partner is a force multiplier that can amplify all your dreams.
You should never expect things from others, but if they are open and onboard, there is no reason you shouldn’t be willing to work with them and accomplish great things!
Accountability partners are also an excellent idea. Whether you’re battling to overcome an addiction or striving for a difficult goal, having someone who keeps you in line and accountable is extremely valuable!
Testing your limit
In order to push yourself to the limit, you need to find your limit.
The way to find your limit is through action.
It’s not about “universal love” or getting rid of your anxiety, anger and frustration.
Far from it.
Those emotions are just as much a part of you as feeling love and compassion.
The truth about reaching your full potential is that it all starts with radical honesty. Embrace who you are and own it.
It’s really all about personal power and being true to yourself.
As I mentioned earlier, learning to develop and claim your own personal power is key to pushing yourself to the limit and loving how it feels.
Not only can you push yourself to your limit and beyond, but you will grow to relish the feeling of struggle each time you do.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.