I’m a professional woman who’s very focused on her career. Fully own that and make no excuses for it. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made and the steps I’ve taken to become a self-made woman.
The issue is that somewhere along the way I sort of forgot to pay enough attention to my boyfriend and his needs. I don’t want to lose him, and all I know is I love him and want to do what’s right.
So I’m now in the stages of turning that around and making sure he knows that he’s my number one.
I consider myself a feminist, but I also think that our society has unfairly stigmatized men to a certain extent. By typecasting masculinity as toxic, we haven’t left much room for men to shine in a positive way.
My main philosophy of making my man feel like a king revolves around this: letting him know that I value and need him and that I truly appreciate his help and love.
1) Listen to him
The term mansplaining has really made the rounds the past few years. I think there’s something to it.
Especially in my work life, I’ve had male colleagues and bosses who were just completely intolerable.
It relates to gender because their attitudes, words, and behavior around me and one other female coworker made it clear that it was a man against women issue.
“Is that what you think too then, Diana?” one boss asked my female coworker with a smirk, before launching into a detailed explanation of why she was an idiot.
This is all to say that I get the problem with mansplaining and men thinking only they have a right to talk over women and educate them.
But I also think that strong women can intimidate men, especially in romantic partnerships, which is why I’ve made an effort of listening when my boyfriend talks.
I chip in, but I also give him the time and openness to speak his mind and open up to me.
2) Show him you care
Along with lending my man my listening ear, I also show him that I care through my actions.
Being a good listener is one thing, but being a supportive and actively engaged partner is another even more valuable attribute.
I show him I care in 100 small ways every day and sometimes in big ways. This isn’t about earning his love or something of that sort.
It is simply about going that extra mile to be there for my man and let him know that I value our partnership immeasurably.
Arranging his shaving stuff by the sink…
Brewing him a cup of tea…
Rubbing his neck after a long day…
These are just the small things.
If you want to know how to make your man feel like a king, start there and work your way up.
3) Get an expert’s take
When figuring out how to make your man feel like a king, there are many effective paths you can pursue.
There are also some amazing experts out there who can sometimes help you break through a lot of confusion and find real answers.
Let’s face it:
Relationships can be confusing and frustrating. Sometimes you’ve hit a wall and you really don’t know what to do next.
I know that I was always skeptical about getting outside help until I actually tried it out.
Relationship Hero is the best site I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talking.
They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult situations like making your man feel appreciated and wanted without becoming a doormat.
Personally, I tried Relationship Hero last year when I was really struggling in my relationship and felt like my guy was pulling away from me.
My Relationship Hero coach was kind, they took the time to really understand my unique situation, and gave genuinely helpful advice.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
4) Pay him thoughtful compliments, but keep it chill
There’s no arrow in a woman’s quiver quite as powerful as a well-timed and well-chosen compliment for her man.
What makes it even better is when it’s completely genuine, which all compliments should be of course.
This means that your compliments for your guy shouldn’t be constant or random. They should be selective, well-earned, and a bit out of the blue but at just the right time to make him blush and feel a rush of passion for you.
Here are some examples of the type of compliments I’m talking about here.
- Compliment the shirt he’s wearing or his style lately with a classy whistle or suggestive glance.
- Let him know that his advice to you earlier in the week was really appreciated.
- Compliment his skill at his job or projects he is working on.
- Give him a compliment about how he helps out around the home, fixes things, or his understanding of “man type” stuff. He’ll love that.
Try some of these. They really work.
5) Leave him his space when he wants it
All of us need our time and space alone at times. It’s just a part of being human.
I know that my guy really appreciates it when I let him have a few days to himself a bit more. I can sense when he needs it and I try to chill out on talking and making demands of him during these times.
Men feel like a king when pampered with attention, love, intimacy, and appreciation.
However, they also feel just splendid to sometimes be left alone to do their mysterious guy things, whatever those may be.
All I know for sure is that my guy is really into fixing cars and our garage smells like a grungy mechanic’s shop. He likes to go in there sometimes and not come out until many hours later smeared with grease like a raccoon.
I secretly find it kind of sexy.
6) Tap into his driver’s manual
As humans, we all have thousands of years of evolution and prehistoric history in our bones.
Men are all different, but they also share something in common.
They’re all driven by a similar motivating force that relationship psychologist James Bauer calls the hero instinct.
This fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.
And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.
Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.
Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?
Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.
The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12-word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.
Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.
It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.
7) Surprise him out of the blue
Guys like fun and sexy surprises. I gave mine just last week and it was a very hot lingerie outfit with all sorts of lace and glossy red satin.
Surprise him out of the blue, he’ll love it.
Other ideas are sudden weekend getaways, tickets to the theater, or an event you’ve both been talking about for a while.
A surprise shows two things. It shows that he’s been on your mind and that you’ve really put some thought into picking a thoughtful and special gift for him.
Last month I surprised my boyfriend with a signed print of his favorite baseball player from when he was growing up.
He was over the moon.
8) Open up to him
I have an independent streak a mile wide and I like to handle my own business.
Still, making a concerted effort to open up more to my guy has been really valuable for our relationship.
I know that making him feel like a king has been a lot about showing him my softer feminine side and seeking shelter in his arms.
That feeling he can have of protecting me and being there for me really brings him closer, and he’s told me as much.
It makes me very happy to know that, which is why I continue to make an effort to open up to him and to be vulnerable with him about my hopes, fears, and life challenges.
9) Text him sweet little nothing
I’ve never been a particularly great texter. Maybe I was born just a bit too early behind the tech-savvy generation, but I find texting somewhat awkward.
Learning more about how to text my man in a flirtatious and appreciative way has been a godsend for me.
I have gotten pretty good at GIFs (which are moving short clip-type things) and at using emojis to communicate in a humorous and sexy way with him, and I know he likes it.
This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to feel truly appreciated and all in on a relationship.
And the best part is, that triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over a text.
You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
10) Seduce him
Men like to be seduced. At least they do if it’s by a woman they find hot.
I mentioned the lingerie I surprised him with recently, and that’s part of a longer pattern of some very steamy nights (and days, and showers…)
I like to seduce him, and I do it the right way.
Slowly, inch by inch…
With longing looks and subtle signals.
Getting him involved in the chase and then finally giving in.
They could film an adult film on an average day in our sex life, and that’s not bragging.
I really don’t worry about him cheating, because I know that he’s satisfied right at home.
11) Have his back
There’s nothing subtle about this point: stand by your man.
My boyfriend has a tough job and there are various conflicts he’s been having with management about his salary.
Sometimes he needs to vent and he needs to know I’m in his corner.
Not only because I love him, by the way. I actually agree that he’s being unfairly pushed around at his place of work.
Having his back is crucial if you want to make him feel like he’s king.
You should always be the number one cheerleader for your guy.
12) Take an interest in his passions
My boyfriend likes cars as I was saying. I couldn’t care less about a car unless it was about to run over me!
But I’ve taken to really appreciating his work, especially the way he likes to detail and customizes cards.
I admit it’s pretty, especially when he did up one in pink, which is my favorite color (cliche, I know).
He’s also into my growing passion for gardening, or at least he pretends to be, so it goes both ways I suppose.
The real core issue here is that I do my part to take an interest in his passions.
Even though I really find cars quite boring, I find his passion for the sexy.
At the end that makes my shared passion for his interests genuine in that sense.
13) Be strong but not bossy
Men like strong women. Contrary to popular opinion and some talk out there, I truly believe this.
However, there’s an attractive way to be strong and a bossy, pushy way.
Choose option one.
I’ve done my best to do just that and it’s worked wonders for my relationship.
I speak my mind and I tell my boyfriend what I like and what I don’t.
I have rules for our relationship and for our interactions. However, I’d like to think I’m not bossy in any sort of negative sense.
I give him his space
14) Collaborate on key decisions
When making decisions, it can be tempting to go over everything and then present your partner with your plan and wait for him or her to sign off on it.
Instead, I particularly recommend collaborating on decision-making from the very start.
Argue, discuss, compromise and elaborate in the ways that are meaningful to you, but do it together. Far too many couples end up at odds because they plan the future too much independently.
This is one of the top ways in which I have found to make my man feel like a king.
I collaborate with him on making decisions and I truly value his input.
15) Benefit from absences
As well as giving my guy space when he needs it, I’ve learned to profit from his absence. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and whoever they are, they are correct.
Taken in the right way, an extended time apart can be a real aphrodisiac.
It’s ironic to say that if you want your man to feel like a kind and see you as his queen, you sometimes need to stay away from him for a while.
But it’s true.
At least in my experience.
After a few weeks apart you’ll be shocked at the explosion of chemistry and desire that occurs.
Long live the king
My boyfriend deserves every bit of attention and affection I give him, and I truly want to be the kind of partner who makes him feel valued and great.
For me, he is a king.
By now you should have a better idea of how to make your man feel like a king.
It’s all about balance and letting him know you care without smothering him. So the key now is getting through to your man in a way that empowers both him and you.
I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.
And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change as early as today.
With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, be sure to check out the video now.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.