So you feel like your husband is falling out of love with you and you want to know what you can do about it.
Look, we all go through rough patches in our relationship. There are bound to be times when our marriages become stale, and it feels like your man might be falling in love with you.
The good news?
There are plenty of things you can do to reignite the passion and rectify the situation.
Trust me, many married women have been in the same situation before, and they’ve managed to successfully turn the needle of love in their favor.
When you understand male psychology and what makes men tick, it becomes a lot easier to make your husband fall in love with you all over again.
In this article, I’m going to go over everything that has worked for me and my clients in reigniting the flame in their relationship.
Remember, if countless other women can do it, then there’s no reason you can’t too.
We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.
1. Let him miss you
I know this sounds a little strange. Surely to get your husband to fall in love with you again, you need to, you know, actually spend time with him…but hear me out.
Having time apart is healthy for couples. It gives you time to live your life independently and grow as a person separately.
If you spend every waking moment with each other, then you run the risk of co-dependency and a toxic relationship developing. Trust me, that’s what you DON’T want.
When you get busy in other activities that don’t involve your husband, and he does the same, you also have more to talk about when you do spend time together.
The fact of the matter is this:
Spending time apart allows you to develop balance in the relationship.
What’s more, and most importantly, it gives you a chance to miss each other.
For most people, you find out how much you love someone when they’re not around.
When he spends time away from you, he’ll see how much he misses you, and if he misses you, that’s guaranteed to reignite the fire in his belly.
I learnt this (and much more) from Brad Browning, a leading relationship expert. Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving marriages. He is a best-selling author and dispenses valuable advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel.
Watch his excellent free video here where he explains his unique process for mending marriages.
2. Love yourself
Sounds lame? Sure. But if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect your husband to love you?
Think about it:
If you don’t love yourself, then you believe that you are not worthy of love.
And if you think that you’re not worthy of love, then you’re struggling to build a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
We’ve all heard it before. People who are confident in themselves and what they have to offer the world are more attractive to those around them. It’s no different for your husband.
It’s about ensuring that you’re lovable and showing your husband that you’re worthy of love and interest.
Think about your first forays into the dating world as a teenager.
At this age, most of us are nervous and unsure of ourselves. After all, we’re still figuring out our identity and place in the world.
While some lucky people are able to forge long-lasting relationships at that age, most people don’t. Why? Because they haven’t learned how to love themselves enough to be able to achieve it.
As we grow, we learn to love ourselves. Or at least, that’s the theory.
But loving yourself can be difficult to do, even for the most confident person out there.
We’ve grown up believing that loving ourselves is arrogant and narcissistic, but in fact, it’s the opposite.
Show your husband you love and care about yourself, and you’ll be giving him a road-map to loving you.
So, how can you learn to love yourself?
It’s definitely difficult, but what you need to keep in mind is that it’s all about what I like to call “radical self-acceptance”.
Radical self-acceptance means acknowledging that you are who you are and that that’s OK.
Can you do that?
3. Make time to do fun things together
When you’re getting deeper into your marriage, it’s easy to forget to have fun.
The more you mesh your lives together, the more time you seem to spend on chores and just generally mooching about, rather than on exciting dates and adventures.
This is, in part, an inevitable consequence of being in a marriage.
Being able to do boring stuff together as well as partying all night and swinging from the chandeliers is just part of creating a strong, long-term bond.
But unfortunately, this “boredom” can be a significant reason a husband can fall out of love.
So keep this mind:
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean that the fun’s over.
It’s vital that you don’t allow your relationship to end up being just about sensible nights in and saving for the future. This isn’t an either/or kind of choice at all.
You know that famous breakup phrase “I love you but I’m not in love with you”? What that often really means is “we don’t do fun stuff together anymore”.
Having fun together is part of the fabric of a relationship. It is a big part of what binds you together.
In the beginning, fun was what it was all about. Now, it can’t be anything. But you can make sure it’s still a pretty big feature.
The way you do this? It’s boring, but schedule in some fun time.
If it’s not happening naturally, then you need to take action to make sure it starts happening.
Maybe a regular Saturday night date, or a Sunday movie, or just a hot night in once in a while. Whatever works for you and your husband.
4. Show him how much he means to you
Forget what most people say. The little things DO COUNT.
You need to break out of your routine of saying “Good morning” when you wake up or “goodbye” when you leave for work. It’s a habit, it’s boring, it’s impersonal.
Instead, why don’t you surprise your husband with breakfast in bed on Saturday morning? Why not give him a long hug and steamy kiss when he comes home from work? Show him that you care, show him how much he means to you.
Did you know that research suggests that physical affection is directly related to greater satisfaction in romantic relationships? Use that knowledge to your advantage!
Take the time to show your husband how you feel about him, trust me, it will do wonders for your marriage.
And if you want some more tips on how to get your marriage back on track, I highly recommend watching this free video by relationship expert Brad Browning.
In his video, Brad reveals some of the biggest mistakes that people make in their marriages and gives some very helpful tips on how to save a marriage that’s in trouble.
If you still care about your husband, don’t give up on your marriage.
Check out this quick video – it could just be the thing that saves your marriage.
5. Learn to say thank you
It’s no surprise that we all love feeling appreciated, but when we get stuck in our routines, we tend to forget to thank our partners for the little things they do.
So put a stop to that and thank your husband whenever he does something for you.
It’s two words that will undoubtedly improve your relationship.
In fact, journalist Janice Kaplan wrote in “The Gratitude Diaries” about how she tried a yearlong experiment of being more grateful for everything in her life – including her husband.
She said that getting in the habit of thanking her husband for even small things improved their marriage a great deal.
After all, have a think about it:
I bet there are plenty of normal things your husband does for you, like drive you to work, or fix a leaky faucet, that you forget to say thank you for.
So see what happens when you get in the habit of appreciating what your husband does.
We spoke above about the importance of making your husband feel needed. This is exactly the same scenario.
If you learn to thank him and appreciate him for what he does, he’ll feel more valued, which is guaranteed to make him feel better in your marriage.
6. Make him feel needed
Look, I know that times have changed and independent women are all the rage these days… but men love to feel needed.
Chalk it up to men’s evolutionary past of being the protector and provider in the relationship. Men have an instinct to make you feel comfortable and secure.
But if your husband feels like he isn’t actively needed in your life, then he can lose confidence in himself and the relationship.
I know that you’ve probably got your own life on lock, but why not get your husband to do something for you?
That’s all. Just ask for help.
Not only will you give him a purpose (after all, he is your husband and he wants to provide for you) but you’ll also see how willing he is to help you out.
In other words, show your husband that he is the man you want to lean on.
The best bit is that this is exactly what he wants.
Because of his deep seated drive to be an every day hero…
That’s right, hero.
The hero instinct is a fascinating new concept that relationship expert James Bauer came up with that explains what drives men in a relationship.
It’s all about their primal instincts to protect their woman… Honestly, I think it’s better if you hear it from the man himself than have me explain.
7. Try the 10-minute rule
Ever heard of the 10-minute rule?
It’s a term coined by relationship expert Terri Orbuch.
In fact, in her book 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great, she says that the 10-minute is the single greatest routine a couple can get themselves into.
So, I bet you’re wondering: What the hell is this 10-minute rule?!
According to Orbuch, the rule is “a daily briefing in which you and your spouse make time to talk about anything under the sun – except kids, works, and household tasks or responsibilities.”
Of course, to engage in this activity you’ll want to have some pre-planned questions you can ask.
Here are some ideas:
– What is the one thing you want to be remembered for?
– What do you feel is your strongest trait?
– What do you think is the best song of all time?
– If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
The idea here is to chat about something that isn’t routine. Have a talk about something interesting!
You might think that you know what each other thinks about everything, but I bet you’d be wrong. There’s more to learn about everybody.
Heck, you could even chat about the past and all the good times you’ve had together.
That will guarantee to get his mind wandering on all the passionate and fun times you’ve had together.
8. Support your man from the sidelines
It’s not as easy as you might think to be a man.
They need the drive to become the provider in the relationship, while at the same time being the rock that the family can lean on in hard times.
Most men grow up being taught that they shouldn’t show any signs of weakness and that they’ve got to succeed in whatever they do.
And boy, is the competition fierce!
This is why some men can get irritable and annoyed.
And it is also why they need full support from their wife on the sidelines.
If he has his own personal dreams and aspirations, cheer him on. Be his number one supporter.
See it like it’s just you and him against the world, and you’re going to support him to help you both succeed.
This is actually one area that many couples struggle with, particularly relationships that are turning toxic.
They tend to put each other down without realizing it. This usually happens when there’s a level of competition in the relationship, and they’re constantly trying to one-up each other.
But you know what that leads to? Resentment and bitterness, which as you can imagine, are incredibly unhealthy for any relationship.
Don’t be one of those marriages.
A relationship where you support each other unconditionally is much more healthy and fulfilling. There’s way more room for both of you to grow as well.
9. Don’t try to change him
When you spend as much time as you do with your husband, then no matter who you are, you’re always going to find some things that are annoying.
This doesn’t mean that you should try to change every little annoying thing about him.
It’s really hard for people to change, and when someone keeps pressuring them to change, they’re even less likely to.
Men who are with women who constantly make suggestions about what they could do better tend to close off for them.
In fact, this is a common reason a man falls out of love with a woman.
So my suggestion?
Pay attention to what you’re saying to your husband. If you constantly telling him “You should…” all the time, you might want to pull back, or he might continue to fall out of love with you.
Now don’t get me wrong:
I’m not suggesting that you don’t mention something that he’s doing that’s seriously hindering your quality of life. Obviously, if it’s big (and could be a deal-breaker for your future) then you need to speak up.
But if they’re small (as in, slight “annoyances”) then try to look at them in a different light.
Accept and embrace his quirks. It’ll make life a lot easier and he won’t feel so pressured to change his behavior around you.
10. Be the woman he fell in love with
Look, it’s not easy to maintain a happy marriage, it takes a lot of work from both partners.
It’s actually quite common for the passion to fade with time and for both partners to start taking each other for granted.
So, if you feel like your husband has lost interest in you, one way to rekindle your flame is to remind him of why he fell in love with you in the first place.
Try to remember what attracted him to you back then. Was it your kindness, your love of adventure, or maybe your sense of humor?
It’s normal for people to change with time or to emphasize certain aspects of their characters less. That’s why you need to bring the qualities that made him fall in love with you in the first place back to the forefront.
Trust me, once he sees that the woman he fell in love with all those years ago is still there, he’ll fall in love with you all over again.
The bottom line
There are many reasons that people drift apart and fall out of love. But that doesn’t have to be the end, it’s possible to fall in love again.
If you still love your husband and you feel that for one reason or another he’s pulled away, you can make him fall in love with you again.
Start by watching this free video by Brad Browning – I mentioned him earlier. It will help you figure out why your marriage is falling apart and why your husband seems to have fallen out of love with you.
What’s more, he’ll give you concrete advice on how to take back control and save your marriage.
Here’s a link to the video again, trust me, you won’t regret watching it.