Jealousy is a very common emotion.
And if your ex is dating someone else, there’s a good chance you’re feeling it right now. And so you want them to feel it too.
Maybe it will make them regret losing you, or at the very least it will make you feel better.
This article will tell you how to make your ex jealous when he has a girlfriend.
How to make your ex jealous when he has a girlfriend
1) Look your best
If you want to make your ex jealous, it’s going to help if you can turn his head.
The research suggests that men, more so than women, rate physical attractiveness as important for them.
Making an effort with your appearance is going to help in a couple of ways.
Firstly, you remind him what he is missing. Whenever he sees you or watches you from afar on social media he notices how good you are looking.
This can be magnetic and make your ex instantly feel a bit jealous.
But it also works in another powerful way that has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you.
Dress your best, not for him or to get his attention, but do it to give yourself a little lift. Because the better you think you look, the better you are more likely to feel.
When you can look in the mirror and appreciate what you see, it will boost your confidence. Which is exactly what you need when it feels like your ex has moved on.
So get dressed up, feel sexy in whatever you wear, and make an effort to boost your mood by making the most of your appearance.
2) Be spotted out having fun
Do you know what really drives your ex nuts?
You going out and having a good time.
Most of us don’t like to think of our ex being happy without us. It not only bruises our ego but we don’t like to feel like we are so easily replaced.
Rather than sitting at home and wallowing, your ex will feel far more jealous if he knows you are out there living your best life.
He sees on social media that you’re doing loads of cool stuff. His friends tell him that they saw you at that trendy new spot in town. He hears on the grapevine that you have been looking good and getting out there.
In the very wise words of Beyonce in Single Ladies, nothing makes your ex jealous quite like seeing you do your own thing:
“Up in the club, we just broke up
I’m doing my own little thing
Decided to dip and now you wanna trip
Cause another brother noticed me
… I’m up on him, he up on me
Don’t pay him any attention
Just cried my tears, for three good years
Ya can’t be mad at me”
The moral of the story is that if you really want to make him jealous:
Act like you just don’t care, live your best life, and as part of that let your ex see that there are plenty of other guys out there who can take his place.
3) Keep your poker face
I’m all for honesty and vulnerability in relationships. But the reality is that you are not in a relationship with your ex anymore.
So it’s ok to have self-preservation by putting up a few boundaries. And one of those is not letting him see how you really feel.
I get it. Knowing that your ex has a new girlfriend is a huge slap in the face. In fact, thinking about it can drive you crazy. But you can’t let him know.
That means letting it out in private, venting to friends, and expressing your emotions behind the scenes.
But putting on a brave face in public or if you are ever around him.
The reality is that you want to seem like you are doing fine without him. Calling him up to cry and scream at him over how betrayed you feel clearly isn’t going to do that.
So be sure to keep your cool and keep it classy.
4) Don’t pay him any attention
Whatever attention you may have been throwing his way, either inadvertently or directly, it’s time to stop.
He cannot have his cake and eat it. That means, if he has moved on, let him move on. But he doesn’t get to keep you in his life as an emotional crutch whilst he does that.
Making yourself unavailable to him could involve cutting off contact so that he no longer has access to your life.
This in itself can trigger loss and jealousy in an ex.
Or it could mean treating him more like an acquaintance. Stop doing things for him or going out of your way for him. Don’t check in on him, text him, or reach out to him.
Sometimes we only start to see what we’ve lost when it fully sinks in that it’s gone. And if you are still hanging around and paying him attention, he won’t feel that loss.
5) Be polite to him and his new girlfriend
You could see this next point as an extension of the earlier one I made about keeping your poker face.
Part of making him jealous means not letting him see your jealousy.
Otherwise whatever you do will just look like the actions of a bitter and angry ex-girlfriend. And why would he feel jealous of that?
Show him that you are mature and dignified by keeping things cordial.
Particularly if he is looking for a reaction, that’s the best way of not giving him the satisfaction.
It’ll also leave him super confused about how you really feel.
Be polite to them if you see them around. Don’t bad mouth him or her to other people. And generally take the moral high ground.
6) Meet new people
If you want to make your ex jealous when he has a new girlfriend then you are going to want to bring some new and interesting people into your life.
Spotting you (either in person or on social media) with people who he doesn’t recognize is likely to spark some serious curiosity in him.
Up until now, he has been focused on his own life moving forwards. He perhaps hasn’t been confronted with the reality that you will also be moving on without him too.
Now it’s time to introduce him to some new faces.
It’s certainly not going to hurt if he starts to wonder who these people are and whether any of them has replaced him.
You can broaden your social connections by going to meet-ups, joining groups, or starting new hobbies and activities.
It’s also going to help you because you get a reminder that the world is full of new experiences and new people.
Your life is so much bigger than his.
7) Subtly post on social media, but don’t go overboard
Social media can be a great tool for creating some jealousy in your ex, but you have to be smart about it.
Go overboard and it’ll have the opposite effect. You’ll come across as attention-seeking and a bit desperate.
If as soon as you find out that your ex has a new girlfriend you begin to spam your followers with posts about how exciting your life is, he’ll likely suss what you’re doing.
Similarly, if you post a million and one snaps and selfies of you looking sexy, it’s going to lose its impact.
Because it seems like you are trying to get noticed.
Most of us when we’re having the time of our lives aren’t glued to our phones documenting every second of it.
So post those great pictures and fun activities to make him jealous, but do it sparingly. It will still have an impact.
When it comes to making an ex jealous on social media, less is more.
8) Let his rebound self-destruct
If your ex got with someone pretty quickly after you split, it is going to sting all the more. But the thing about rebounds is that they often fall apart on their own.
Right now he might be in that exciting stage of a new romance, where all seems fresh and full of possibilities.
But that stage fades in all relationships eventually. And when it does reality kicks in.
When he starts to realize that no relationship is perfect, he is more likely to think back to his relationship with you.
With a bit of time, exes can make themselves jealous by thinking about what you are up to now and whether they made a mistake.
You don’t need to do anything to orchestrate that, it just happens. It’s part of human nature.
Plus the research shows men are more likely to reminisce about the “one that got away” more so than women.
9) Show him you’ve moved on
The very best way to show your ex that you’ve moved on is to genuinely try to do that.
If only there were a jealousy pill that we could manufacture to get the desired effect. But there isn’t.
Unfortunately, actively trying to manipulate someone else’s feelings ends up backfiring.
Because we are so focused on them, we forget to think about what is actually best for us in the long run. We hold on to emotions that they are letting go of. And that keeps us stuck.
Not only is your ex going to feel most jealous if he thinks you have moved on from him. But that is the best thing to do for yourself right now too.
Focus on bolstering your self-esteem, doing fun things, and building your life back (even better) without him in it.
Because in the words of George Herbert:
“Living well is the best revenge”.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.