in ,

22 no bullsh*t ways to make him fear losing you

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

 

Let’s face it: some guys can get cocky.

They think that because you’re married/in a relationship with them, they won’t lose you.

They’re wrong.

And if your partner hasn’t realized this yet, then I recommend doing any (or several) of these 22 no-bullsh*t ways. Indeed, they’ll make him afraid of losing you!

Let’s begin.

1) Don’t be too available

Do you always respond to your man’s every beck and call? Well, it’s your constant availability that makes him think that he won’t lose you – ever.

So if I were you, don’t be too available.

For example, if he asks you to accompany him to do this or that, don’t ditch the plans you’ve made before he asked you (at the last minute.)

You’re being too available, too easy, as they say.

You have a life before you met him. Go ahead and live it!

See, once you make him realize that your world solely doesn’t just revolve around him, he’ll do everything he can to make sure that he won’t lose you.

2) Keep him waiting

I know how we girls want to eagerly answer our partners’ texts/calls right away. But if you think that this does your relationship good, that’s where you’re wrong.

In fact, it just makes your man cocky. Since you constantly prioritize his texts and calls, he feels that he won’t lose you – ever.

It’s just like being too available.

That’s why, in my own humble opinion, I say let him wait.

As to how long, etiquette expert Daniel Post Senning offers this advice:

“If you’ve dated someone for multiple months or a year, you should generally text each other back within the hour that you see the message.”

3) Don’t show too much interest in him

When a guy knows you’re super into him, he won’t worry about losing you.

Just like clinginess, clinical sexologist Kelley Johnson, Ph.D. has explained that too “much attention can be perceived as desperation or a lack of independence [on the part of the person showing interest]. It could mean that they’re a little more codependent than you’d like them to be.”

That’s why you need to scale your interest back, even if you’re head over heels in love with him.

Instead of making googly-eyes whenever he’s around, check your phone or do something else. But I don’t mean pulling all the way back and acting as if you don’t care a bit about him. I’ve done the latter in my past relationship, and it broke us apart.

What I’m trying to say here is that you should strive to show the right amount of interest. Let him know that you like him, but not too much. That’ll make him realize that he stands to lose you – even if you’ve been together for all these years.

4) Don’t be too clingy

Men, in general, don’t like clingy partners. As one user has explained in a Reddit thread:

“I have hobbies, I have a job, and I just need to get me some “me time” here and there… If she expects me to see her or talk to her on the phone every day, it’s just not going to work.”

In other words, if you’ve latched yourself to him like a leech, he’ll be super confident that you won’t leave him.

Imagine this: you can’t even let go of him right now, so in his mind, what are the chances you’ll dump him for good?

That being said, you should fight the urge to be clingy if you want him to worry about losing you. In fact, you should…

5) Be a strong, independent woman

If you’re a clingy, super-interested girl who relies on your man a lot, then don’t be surprised if he’s not a bit concerned about losing you.

That’s why it’s important to be a strong, independent woman – even if you’re in a relationship.

Take it from the male POV of writer David Mendez:

“An independent woman is strong and secure…

“Someone who is their own person is more interesting. They engage and challenge us in a multitude of ways.

“Men enjoy this because it keeps us from losing interest. Someone who can make their own decisions makes and allows her partner to do so as well, which makes for a much more fulfilling relationship.”

6) Trigger his inner ‘hero’

Men like to feel (and act) like heroes. So if you haven’t managed to trigger this ‘drive’ in him yet, he’ll act as if he won’t lose you.

You see, this ‘hero instinct’ is what really drives men in relationships. In fact, it is ingrained in their DNA, says relationship expert James Bauer.

That being said, you don’t need to play the damsel in distress just to trigger your man’s hero instinct.

All you need to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. Here, he shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12-word text that will trigger his hero instinct ASAP.

I tried this text myself, and it worked wonders! My husband definitely changed – and I can safely say that he’s deathly afraid of us parting ways.

So if you want your man to feel the same way, click here to watch the free video. I promise you – it can help you trigger your man’s hero instinct (and make him fearful of losing you) right away.

7) Make plans where he isn’t included (and push through with them)

Maybe your man is used to being included in all your plans – even if they’re months/years ahead in the future.

See, this is one of the reasons why he isn’t afraid of losing you.

So if you want to make a change, then it’s time to make some future plans where he isn’t included.

For example, you could sign up for an office trip – and go solo.

Well, not necessarily solo – for you’ll be there with your work friends if you get my drift.

He’ll be wondering why you haven’t included him. Sure enough, he’ll be paranoid that some of your workmates will come hit on you while he’s not there.

He’ll be so afraid to lose you that he may just come to the trip uninvited!

8) Show that you’re having fun without him

Let’s say you’ve made plans without him, and he is still unafraid of losing you. Well, the next thing you should do is show that you’re having fun without him.

Post pictures of the things you’ve done on your trip. Rave about them. In other words, you need to broadcast to the world that you could be happy without him.

This will make him realize that the world is your oyster – and you don’t necessarily need him to have a good time.

He’ll surely do better after this!

9) Be a little flirty to other guys

Your boyfriend probably thinks that you don’t have the guts to leave him. Well, by being a little flirty with the other guys, you’ll show him that you do!

As one poster commented in a Quora thread, men get jealous (and afraid you’ll dump them)  when “you’re flirting with someone else.”

They also get threatened when they see that “you’re emotionally more intimate with someone else or you’re paying more attention to someone else.”

In other words, sparking up some competition always works. It’s actually one of the points James Bauer makes in his video.

See, when a man feels useful – and needed – the immediate tendency is for him to commit better to his partner.

So if you want to unlock this ‘instinct’ that’ll make your partner afraid of losing you, then make sure to watch this helpful video by James Bauer.

10) Remain seductive

One of the best ways to keep your partner 100% interested is to remain seductive.

That means wearing sexy lingerie, no matter how comfy it is to just lounge in an oversized shirt and PJs!

You can also try acting out as strangers, or role-playing certain people to build up anticipation.

Speaking of being seductive, it also pays to…

11) Spice things up!

The first weeks/months in the bedroom are sure to be filled with sparks and butterflies. But if you’ve been dating for quite some time, then it may not be as ‘hot’ as it used to be.

So if the sex continues to be ‘meh’ for him, he won’t be that scared to lose you. Furthermore, he might go out and seek an adventure with someone else.

That’s why you need to spice things up!

Try new positions. Do it in the most uncanny of places. Use some ‘marital aids.’ The more novel the experience is, the better.

By blowing his mind, he surely won’t blow his chances with you!

12) Keep the mystery

Although it’s good to be 100% open with your partner, retaining an air of mystery wouldn’t hurt. If any, it’ll make your man more interested in you.

“We want to know what we do not know,” explains one Quora poster. “We like to imagine that there is more to another person than what we can see. When (or if) we find out that there is nothing more to be found out, we lose interest.”

I know how hard it is to keep some sense of mystery in a time when you can publish all your data on the world wide web. But if you want to make your man terrified of losing you, then try not to broadcast all of yourself for the world to see.

Keep it slim, as they always say.

13) Act a little distant

Just like being mysterious, acting a bit distant will make a guy fret about losing you.

See, when “your partner feels you’re too needy, they take an emotional step back. This makes you feel worried, rejected, or abandoned, and therefore needier.”

That’s why psychologist Guy Winch, Ph.D. thinks it’s best to “take a (temporary) step back yourself and ‘need’ your partner a bit less for a week.”

In other words, try to act a little distant from time to time.

By doing this, your guy will be more engaged, available, and hell-bent on NOT losing you.

14) Consult with a relationship expert

I know how frustrating it is to have a man who thinks he wouldn’t lose you. That’s why I decided to speak with the experts over at Relationship Hero when my relationship was on the rocks.

It’s a site where professional relationship coaches help couples embroiled in difficult love situations, such as this one.

And the best part? You get to talk with kind and empathetic coaches, unlike the ‘cold’ ones you’ll find on similar sites.

Connecting with these experts is quite easy, too. All you just need to do is click here. In just a matter of minutes, you’ll be in touch with a relationship coach who can help change your love life.

15) Focus on you

If you want your partner to fear losing you, then you need to focus on yourself. It’s all about self-care, baby!

Maybe you’ve been too focused on caring for him – or your children. Maybe you’ve been too busy with work that you’ve forgotten to pamper yourself.

So why should he be concerned that you’ll leave when you’re caught up with a whole lot of other things?

Basically, it’s one of the lessons I learned from my past relationship. I let myself go, so he just thought “why bother?”

It was a wake-up call that made me focus on myself. I started working out and dolling myself up.

Although at first, it was for him, I continued it for myself.

Before I knew it, he became clingier than usual. He became more protective to the point of following me everywhere!

It was annoying at first, but it did make him afraid of losing me!

16) Do what you want to do

If you keep on doing what your partner tells you to do, then he won’t worry about losing you. So if you want him to build a healthy fear within him, then start doing what you want to do instead.

If he tells you to do A, but you like doing B, do B.

Remember: don’t do this just because you want to antagonize him. Do it because it’s what you want.

See, nothing gets a guy more fearful than realizing that his girlfriend/wife is no longer the submissive woman that she used to be.

When he realizes that you’ll do what you want – and that includes the possibility of leaving him for another – he’ll try to be the partner you deserve.

17) Keep on pursuing your ambitions

As I’ve mentioned before, men love strong, independent women. And nothing screams these more when you keep on pursuing your ambitions.

See, when a guy sees that you’ve given up on your dreams, he’ll most likely give up on you as well.

Sure, some guys don’t like girls who do better than them. But that’s just a handful. Chances are, your guy likes you to be just as successful – if not more.
I mean, just put yourself in his shoes. Would you keep on dating a guy with no drive?

Let’s face it. We girls love guys with ambition. And yes, the same goes with men.

So go ahead, pursue that high-paying job opening. Take that post-graduate degree and get that Ph.D. Apply for that university scholarship abroad.

Remember: when a guy sees that you’re a high-quality girl, he’ll do everything he can to keep you in the fold.

18) Don’t let him treat you as a second option

If you want your guy to be afraid of losing you, then you shouldn’t let him treat you as a second option.

If he asks you out on a date because all his friends bailed out on him, don’t go.

See, this is similar to the availability issue I’ve mentioned prior. If you keep on letting him treat you like a second option, then he would fail to realize your worth.

You’re letting him walk over you, after all.

To this, I say: stand your ground.

Tell him and make him feel that you’re done being the second option.

If he wants your relationship to continue, then he should put you first. You’re entitled to be a top priority in his life.

19) Stop nagging him

Let’s face it: we ladies tend to nag.

The fairer sex often does this, explains experts, “Largely because they are conditioned to feel more responsible for managing home and family life. And they tend to be more sensitive to early signs of problems in a relationship.”

And it goes without saying: nagging is “the type of toxic communication that can eventually sink a relationship.”

Simply put, nagging will make your guy care the least about losing you. If any, it may actually prod him to leave you behind.

So if I were you, you better stop the nagging right now. Instead, you should try to do these expert-backed tips:

  • Limit your ‘reminder’ to one word.
  • Suggest tasks without words.
  • Don’t insist that the task be done according to your desired schedule.
  • Don’t push for the impossible!

20) Go somewhere/travel alone

Traveling alone comes with a lot of benefits. For one, it will make your guy (whether you’re official or not) realize what a gem you are.

It shows that you’re strong. Independent even. And, as I’ve mentioned above, guys like these qualities in a woman.

Personality-wise, it ‘forces you to grow.’ Explains Farah Chidiac of Ohio University:

“When you are traveling on your own, it is up to you to make difficult decisions pertaining to any faced challenges. This is ultimately and inevitably going to help you grow as a person.”

Furthermore, it can help you reflect on the current state of your relationship.

Is he worth dating – or keeping?

Since he’s not afraid of losing you, should you just continue meeting other people, which you’ll eventually achieve as you go gallivanting alone?

21) Don’t act like his girlfriend – if you’re not

Some guys will try to skate past the technicalities.

See, he’s not afraid to lose you because you’re giving him more than he’s entitled to. If he can get the girlfriend experience without the label, then why should he exert more effort?

That’s why you shouldn’t give him more than he deserves. And, if he demands it, then it’s time for you to talk about labeling the relationship.

As therapist Shena Tubbs explains in her interview:

“Labels should be put on the relationship from the beginning.  It is so important to be clear from the beginning to avoid any heartbreak, feelings of being used or misled, and to protect the nature of the relationship.”

22) Don’t be afraid to date around

Again, if he’s not your boyfriend, then make sure to date around. I guarantee you, he’ll be clamoring to win you back once he hears that you’re dating someone else.

More so if your new guy is hotter, taller, or more successful than he is.

This is what experts call mate-retention behavior. As the name suggests, it’s when a man does everything he can to make sure that his partner is his – only his.

So don’t be surprised when this guy of yours begins to compliment you more and give you gifts, among many other things. It’s benefit-provisioning mate-retention behavior.

And, according to experts, it has the “effect of making their partner feel more satisfied with their current relationship, possibly reducing the likelihood of infidelity or their partner leaving the relationship completely.”

Final thoughts

It’s a known fact that relationships can be downright frustrating. Such is the case with a guy who doesn’t fear losing you.

For situations like this, it’s best to get outside help.

And yes, I tried it out myself!

I’ve been in your shoes before, that’s why I got in touch with Relationship Hero.

For me, it’s the best place to get tailor-made advice for all love-related situations. The coaches here have seen it all, so they know what helps and what doesn’t.

It’s as if I was talking to a trusted friend. My coach was empathetic and kind, and she took the time to understand my unique situation.

Needless to say, she gave me life-changing advice – one that eventually resolved my relationship problems.

If you want to ‘fix’ your love life – just like I did – then I recommend connecting with a certified relationship coach.

Click here to get in touch with one today.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

Written by Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

You can reach me at [email protected]

16 things your husband thinks when he looks at another woman

12 signs a Libra woman is not interested