How to make her miss you: 14 tips to make her want you more

Why would you want your girlfriend or love interest to miss you? For starters, when they miss you, they appreciate you more when you are around.

When someone misses you, they tend to be more forgiving and happy to see you. If she misses you, she’ll give you her attention instead of just taking you for granted.

Making someone miss you is not about manipulation or getting what you want, it’s actually a great tool for making your relationship stronger and more vibrant.

We get tired of people when we see them too often and that’s when we start to see their flaws. Don’t fall into the trap of becoming bored with one another.

Make your relationship interesting with these ways to get her to miss you.

Here are 14 tips to make her miss you:

1) Decide your relationship is worth saving – if it’s in trouble

This is for everyone who is trying to figure out how to save a relationship by making her miss you.

If your relationship is on the rocks and you think that giving yourselves some time and space will fix it, decide if the relationship is worth fixing first.

Going through the trouble of trying to get her to miss you is a lot of work and takes commitment, so if you don’t think you want to carry on in the relationship, it’s best to call it quits instead of investing any more time or energy into it.

But if you decide that you are willing to invest the time and energy into the relationship, then you need to set a goal for doing so. The goal: go live your life and make her want you more.

2) Do things without her

Step one to get her to miss you is to make it your mission. Step two is to get out and do your own thing.

Don’t just sit around at home waiting for her to notice you or reimagine your relationship in a new way.

You might get a call from her asking where you are at and you don’t want to say you are up to your elbows in fries and sadness at the diner down the street.

You want to be able to say you are hanging out with friends at the park or going to a club for a show.

The more you are doing without her, the more she’ll miss you.

3) Flirt and tease her

Flirting is key to attracting a girl. If you can flirt successfully, she’ll miss the good-fun you have together.

Because the factor of the matter is this:

If you’re just a nice guy, then you might get stuck in the friend zone. And if you’re in a relationship already, she might start to think it’s boring.

You need to remind her that you’re attractive.

One easy way to flirt is to compliment them genuinely.

Don’t compliment them on something that’s everyone else notices. Focus on something you know they’ve put effort into, like their hair or their outfit.

The more unique and genuine your compliment is, the more they’ll notice.

Flirting can also be seen with body language as well. Make sure you smile and laugh. This is a great way to lift the sexual vibes.

While most guys focus on what they’re saying to a girl, few pay enough attention to their body language.

And this is a big mistake.

Because women are highly tuned into the signals a man’s body is giving off. And if your body language is giving off the right signals, she’ll more likely than not respond with an emphatic ‘yes’ to you.

If you want to learn a few simple “hacks” you can do with your body language to instantly become much more attractive to women, watch this free video from Kate Spring.

In this video, she also reveals the number 1 mistake men make when it comes to flirting with women.

4) Pull away (a little)

Messaging her a little less or some days not at all.

Say no to her once in a while.

Even when you are around each other, keep your distance from her. Don’t sit next to her on the sofa, take the chair across the room.

Research indicates that playing hard to get like this is a useful strategy…under the right conditions.


It’s a psychological fact that when we fear we’re going to lose something, we want it 10x more.

Humans hate losing shit. And when it comes to love, women are absolutely no exception.

This is where “nice guys” get it so wrong. Women have no “fear of loss” with a nice guy… and that’s pretty unattractive for them.

5) Look beyond what others see

If you want to have any chance in hell in getting a woman to fall in love with you, you need to look beyond what you see on the surface and be willing to see things about her that maybe she doesn’t even see.

You aren’t looking for flaws to point out, but rather wonderful things about her personality and interests that she might be too busy to think about or give attention to.

According to Hara Estroff Marano in Psychology Today, learning how to give compliments is “not only a powerful social skill; it is one of the most fundamental.” She says “they must be genuine” and that the “more specific, the better”.

If you point out how wonderful these things are and how they are an important part of who she is, she’ll be hooked on your every word.

6) Offer to help when you are around

Want her to miss you more? Make sure you are pitching in and helping out around the house when you are home.

Whether you are doing simple things like cleaning up after the kids or taking out the trash, when you aren’t there, she’ll notice.

Say nice things and pay her compliments and make sure she catches you looking at her.

When you aren’t there, she’ll notice how much different – and better – life is when you are there to make her smile and lend a hand.

7) Want advice specific to your situation?

While this article explores the main steps you can take to make her miss you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like how to make a woman miss you. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

8) Maintain your life

Whatever you do, don’t pick up and move to the other side of town while the two of you try to work things out. If your life seems to be falling apart, try to keep it as normal as possible and do all the things you normally do.

If she sees you going about your business as per usual, she may come to realize that your life’s better together.

If you are just dating and trying to get her to pay more attention to you, going about your business is the best way to do that.

Whatever the situation, getting her to miss you is about lack of attention. Out of sight is not out of mind when it comes to relationships. We think about the thing we love the most all the time.

RELATED: What makes an average guy instantly become “hot”?

9) Create a gap

Just because you could spend all day together doesn’t mean you should. Nor should you want to.

By creating space in your life and relationship (or potential relationship) you leave her wondering about you and wanting more.

This means you don’t pick up the phone every time she calls, don’t accept every invitation to hang out, and certainly don’t text back the nanosecond she sends you a message to check in.

It’s not about pulling the wool over her eyes, but making sure she longs for your company and attention so that when she gets it, it’s even better than anticipated.

10) Miss her

If you want her to miss you then you are going to have to miss her too. That doesn’t mean you suffer in silence: tell her how you feel.

Be honest about wanting to be together and how much your relationship means. Tell her you miss her.

It seems obvious but if you feel like things are slipping away and you don’t feel as connected as you once did, you can change that with some simple words and kindness.

Being honest about your feelings goes a long way to bringing the two of you back together and makes her think about the last thing you said instead of the 30 other things that she thought were stupid.

11) Make her laugh

Making a girl laugh is crucial if you want to attract them. There’s no getting around it.

And if you can make her laugh, then she’ll surely miss you more.

Researchers at an American university discovered that when two strangers meet, the more times a man tries to be funny and a woman laughs, the more likely she is to be interested in dating.

This doesn’t just mean telling witty jokes and stories, it also means being fun.

Keep the vibe relaxed: If you’re too serious or intense, you’ll kill the vibe.

Try to be relaxed and non-judgmental. If you make her feel comfortable, she’ll more easily be able to laugh.

Prepare yourself to laugh as well. If you smile and loosen up, it will enhance the vibe and you’ll become more attractive yourself.

Also, try learning how to be self-deprecating. This is the ability to laugh at yourself.

Gently mock yourself will show your sense of humor and that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

For example, you could talk about your poor choice of clothes or your terrible drinking skills.

Whatever is, lighten the mood and have some fun.

I learnt this from my favorite relationship guru, Bobby Rio. If you want your girl to become obsessed with you, then check out his excellent free video here.

What you’ll learn in this video isn’t exactly pretty — but neither is love.

12) Keep busy

If all of this talk of keeping away from your girl is hard news to hear, the good news is that you don’t just have to sit around doing nothing – get out and do lots of fun things so you also miss her.

If you are trying to get her attention and have hopes of a relationship together, make sure you don’t sit around waiting for her to notice you.

Get out and be yourself. Ironically, girls seem to like it when the guys they like don’t pay attention to them because it gives them something to strive for: your attention.

Research published in the European Journal of Personality says that playing hard to get (acting confident, talking to others, withholding sex) “may reflect…greater perceived mate-value.”

“It implies quality”, says Gary Lewandowski, professor psychology. “If you’re able to be picky, that means you have some options, and if you have so many choices, you must be a viable partner.”

13) Show up where she’s at on your own terms

As part of your “go out and do your own thing” plan, be sure to incorporate surprise appearances at places you know she hangs out.

Not only does this ensure you get to see her – and control the situation – but it ensures that she sees you having a good time without her.

Nothing gets a girl more interested than something she can’t have. Show her you are all about having a good time and she’ll want to get in on that pronto.

Plus, while you are waiting for her to decide she likes you, you might as well be having a good time.

If you are already in a relationship, getting out on your own will remind her of the reasons she liked you in the first place and help bring the two of you closer together.

When you are together, that is.

14) Don’t tell her everything all at once

If you want to keep her on the hook and wanting more, don’t spill your life story to her all in one night.

Leave something on the table and share bits and pieces as you navigate getting to know one another.

You don’t have to be totally closed off to gain her interest, but give her insights into your life and how you have experienced things so that she understands where you are coming from.

Save the hopes and dreams and ex-girlfriend talks for another time. Little-by-little, she’ll get to know you and want to know more.

When it comes to dating, even the best advice can fall upon deaf ears. If you are looking for a way to get her to notice you and want to be with you more, the best advice is to do the opposite of what you think you should do.

You think being around her more is going to make her want to spend even more time with you. The opposite is true: the less she gets to see you, the more she’ll want to be with you.

If she starts to miss you, now what?

Let me guess….

You treat her well. You’d do anything for her. And you try to show off the best side to your personality.

I used to do all those things. And I consistently struck out with women.

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being nice and treating a girl well. These are great qualities.

But if that’s all you bring to the table, you’re in big trouble.

As I have learned, women don’t choose the guy who will treat them the best. They choose guys they are deeply attracted to at a biological level.

It isn’t that women like assholes, because they’re assholes. They like assholes because those guys are confident and they give off the right signals to them. The sort of signals a woman can’t resist.

What if I told you that you could quickly learn the right signals to give to women—and you absolutely don’t need to become an asshole in the process?

Check out this free video by Kate Spring.

She reveals the most effective method I’ve come across to make women obsessed by you (whilst remaining a good guy).


Disclosure: This post is brought to you by the Hack Spirit review team. In our reviews, Hack Spirit highlights products and services that you might find interesting. If you buy them, we receive a small commission from that sale. However, we only ever recommend products that we have personally investigated and truly feel could be valuable to you. Read our affiliate disclosure here. We welcome your feedback at

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However, much more important is how you carry yourself around them. Because it doesn’t matter what you look like or how wealthy you are…

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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