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How to make her miss you: 13 tips to make her want you more

Why would you want your girlfriend or love interest to miss you? For starters, when they miss you, they appreciate you more when you are around.

When someone misses you, they tend to be more forgiving and happy to see you. If she misses you, she’ll give you her attention instead of just taking you for granted.

Making someone miss you is not about manipulation or getting what you want, it’s actually a great tool for making your relationship stronger and more vibrant.

We get tired of people when we see them too often and that’s when we start to see their flaws. Don’t fall into the trap of becoming bored with one another.

Make your relationship interesting with these ways to get her to miss you.

Here are 13 tips to make her miss you:

1) Decide your relationship is worth saving – if it’s in trouble

This is for everyone who is trying to figure out how to save a relationship by making her miss you.

If your relationship is on the rocks and you think that giving yourselves some time and space will fix it, decide if the relationship is worth fixing first.

Going through the trouble of trying to get her to miss you is a lot of work and takes commitment, so if you don’t think you want to carry on in the relationship, it’s best to call it quits instead of investing any more time or energy into it.

But if you decide that you are willing to invest the time and energy into the relationship, then you need to set a goal for doing so. The goal: go live your life and make her want you more.

2) Do things without her

Step one to get her to miss you is to make it your mission. Step two is to get out and do your own thing.

Don’t just sit around at home waiting for her to notice you or reimagine your relationship in a new way.

You might get a call from her asking where you are at and you don’t want to say you are up to your elbows in fries and sadness at the diner down the street.

You want to be able to say you are hanging out with friends at the park or going to a club for a show.

The more you are doing without her, the more she’ll miss you.

3) Keep your distance physically

Even when you are around each other, keep your distance from her. Don’t sit next to her on the sofa, take the chair across the room.

Sit at the other end of the table when you eat, and don’t make it a big deal to sit near her at the bar or show, especially if other people are around.

You can decide how much contact you want to have, and of course, respect her desire for less contact if that is the case, but the lack of contact between you will make you both wish you had more of it in no time.

Research indicates that playing hard to get is a useful strategy…under the right conditions.

Put simply, it may work when your potential partner is already interested and already thinks you’re likable and “nice” but not yet passionate about you.

In this scenario, being a bit of a challenge can improve their perception of your value as a lover and motivated them to chase you.

4) Miss her

If you want her to miss you then you are going to have to miss her too. That doesn’t mean you suffer in silence: tell her how you fell.

Be honest about wanting to be together and how much your relationship means. Tell her you miss her.

It seems obvious but if you feel like things are slipping away and you don’t feel as connected as you once did, you can change that with some simple words and kindness.

Being honest about your feelings goes a long way to bringing the two of you back together and makes her think about the last thing you said instead of the 30 other things that she thought were stupid.

5) Look beyond what others see

If you want to have any chance in hell in getting a woman to fall in love with you, you need to look beyond what you see on the surface and be willing to see things about her that maybe she doesn’t even see.

You aren’t looking for flaws to point out, but rather wonderful things about her personality and interests that she might be too busy to think about or give attention to.

According to Hara Estroff Marano in Psychology Today, learning how to give compliments is “not only a powerful social skill; it is one of the most fundamental.” She says “they must be genuine” and that the “more specific, the better”.

If you point out how wonderful these things are and how they are an important part of who she is, she’ll be hooked on your every word.

6) Offer to help when you are around

Want her to miss you more? Make sure you are pitching in and helping out around the house when you are home.

Whether you are doing simple things like cleaning up after the kids or taking out the trash, when you aren’t there, she’ll notice.

Say nice things and pay her compliments and make sure she catches you looking at her.

When you aren’t there, she’ll notice how much different – and better – life is when you are there to make her smile and lend a hand.

7) Maintain your life

Whatever you do, don’t pick up and move to the other side of town while the two of you try to work things out. If your life seems to be falling apart, try to keep it as normal as possible and do all the things you normally do.

If she sees you going about your business as per usual, she may come to realize that your life’s better together.

If you are just dating and trying to get her to pay more attention to you, going about your business is the best way to do that.

Whatever the situation, getting her to miss you is about lack of attention. Out of sight is not out of mind when it comes to relationships. We think about the thing we love the most all the time.

8) Create a gap

Just because you could spend all day together doesn’t mean you should. Nor should you want to.

By creating space in your life and relationship (or potential relationship) you leave her wondering about you and wanting more.

This means you don’t pick up the phone every time she calls, don’t accept every invitation to hang out, and certainly don’t text back the nanosecond she sends you a message to check in.

It’s not about pulling the wool over her eyes, but making sure she longs for your company and attention so that when she gets it, it’s even better than anticipated.

9) Make her laugh

Making a girl laugh is crucial if you want to attract them. There’s no getting around it.

And if you can make her laugh, then she’ll surely miss you more.

Researchers at an American university discovered that when two strangers meet, the more times a man tries to be funny and a woman laughs, the more likely she is to be interested in dating.

This doesn’t just mean telling witty jokes and stories, it also means being fun.

Keep the vibe relaxed: If you’re too serious or intense, you’ll kill the vibe.

Try to be relaxed and non-judgmental. If you make her feel comfortable, she’ll more easily be able to laugh.

Prepare yourself to laugh as well. If you smile and loosen up, it will enhance the vibe and you’ll become more attractive yourself.

Also, try learning how to be self-deprecating. This is the ability to laugh at yourself.

Gently mock yourself will show your sense of humor and that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

For example, you could talk about your poor choice of clothes or your terrible drinking skills.

Whatever is, lighten the mood and have some fun.

10) Flirt and tease her

Flirting is key to attracting a girl. If you can flirt successfully, she’ll miss the good-fun you have together.

Because the factor of the matter is this:

If you’re just a nice guy, then you might get stuck in the friend zone. And if you’re in a relationship already, she might start to think it’s boring.

You need to remind her that you’re attractive.

One easy way to flirt is to compliment them genuinely.

Don’t compliment them on something that’s everyone else notices. Focus on something you know they’ve put effort into, like their hair or their outfit.

The more unique and genuine your compliment is, the more they’ll notice.

Flirting can also be seen with body language as well. Make sure you smile and laugh. This is a great way to lift the sexual vibes.

Dr. Monica Moore, a psychologist at Webster University says smiling is among the best flirting tactics that signals interest.

Another part of flirting is holding eye contact.

A study published in the Journal of Reseach in Personality found that 2 minutes of direct eye contact resulted in increased feelings of attraction.

The longer the conversation goes, the more opportunity you’ll have to be playful. And a great way to show this person that you aren’t afraid to be playful is by teasing.

Studies have shown using humor in conversations makes a person appear as more likeable, and telling jokes can bring a sense of calm to the conversation during the flirting process.

Tease them about a silly joke, or about the drink they chose, or even about a story they just shared with you.

But remember:

There’s a very fine line between playful teasing and offensive teasing.

11) Keep busy

If all of this talk of keeping away from your girl is hard news to hear, the good news is that you don’t just have to sit around doing nothing – get out and do lots of fun things so you also miss her.

If you are trying to get her attention and have hopes of a relationship together, make sure you don’t sit around waiting for her to notice you.

Get out and be yourself. Ironically, girls seem to like it when the guys they like don’t pay attention to them because it gives them something to strive for: your attention.

Research published in the European Journal of Personality says that playing hard to get (acting confident, talking to others, withholding sex) “may reflect…greater perceived mate-value.”

“It implies quality”, says Gary Lewandowski, professor psychology. “If you’re able to be picky, that means you have some options, and if you have so many choices, you must be a viable partner.”

12) Show up where she’s at on your own terms

As part of your “go out and do your own thing” plan, be sure to incorporate surprise appearances at places you know she hangs out.

Not only does this ensure you get to see her – and control the situation – but it ensures that she sees you having a good time without her.

Nothing gets a girl more interested than something she can’t have. Show her you are all about having a good time and she’ll want to get in on that pronto.

Plus, while you are waiting for her to decide she likes you, you might as well be having a good time.

If you are already in a relationship, getting out on your own will remind her of the reasons she liked you in the first place and help bring the two of you closer together.

When you are together, that is.

13) Don’t tell her everything all at once

If you want to keep her on the hook and wanting more, don’t spill your life story to her all in one night.

Leave something on the table and share bits and pieces as you navigate getting to know one another.

You don’t have to be totally closed off to gain her interest, but give her insights into your life and how you have experienced things so that she understands where you are coming from.

Save the hopes and dreams and ex-girlfriend talks for another time. Little-by-little, she’ll get to know you and want to know more.

When it comes to dating, even the best advice can fall upon deaf ears. If you are looking for a way to get her to notice you and want to be with you more, the best advice is to do the opposite of what you think you should do.

You think being around her more is going to make her want to spend even more time with you. The opposite is true: the less she gets to see you, the more she’ll want to be with you.

In Conclusion

Whether you are trying to get the attention of a new love interest or you want to keep your current relationship interesting, making your girl miss you like crazy is a great way to keep the romance alive and also turn the odds in your favor if you are trying to win her over.

Making her miss you might seem like a backward approach to relationship management, but if you play your cards right, she’ll be knocking on your door sooner than expected.

A little time apart never hurt anyway, but it did make the heart grow fonder.

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Lachlan Brown

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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