Paul Brian
Only one or two relationships in this life will last the test of time.
Maybe they’ll be friendships, family ties, romantic relationships or professional collaborations.
When it comes to love, many of our high hopes often end up being dashed.
But sometimes they do come true!
Here’s how to know if the person you’re with is worth the grind or whether you’d best watch out for some warning signs that they’re not the right person.
15 definite signs someone is worth staying with (if you want to be happy!)
This article will go through the top hallmarks of a person who’s worth staying with if you want to be fulfilled and in a meaningful relationship.
1) You still love being close to them
One of the most important and definite signs someone is worth staying with is that you still love being close to them.
No matter how long you’ve been together, hearing their voice and seeing their face makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
You like being around them, talking to them, hearing about their day and their ideas.
You’re not bored of them, you don’t take them for granted, and they are special to you in a really fundamental way that’s not replaceable.
This is somebody that is worth sticking with for the long haul.
As relationship writer Allison Renner puts it:
“Sometimes hugging and kissing feels like an obligation, something you do on your way out the door. That’s understandable, because our lives are busy. But take time together…
“Do you still feel butterflies in your belly? Do you get goosebumps?”
2) You have a strong feeling they’re ‘the one’
The idea that there’s a “one” out there isn’t something that everyone believes.
Personally, I’m on the fence.
My view is that there are perhaps a few “ones” out there, and that varying connections and soul ties can lead to very romantic and fulfilling partnerships.
Still, I think we need to respect this deep gut feeling that somebody is the “one.”
That’s why it’s one of the definite signs someone is worth staying with.
However, it can be confusing to know whether you’re really sure about it!
This is why I recommend that you speak to an outside expert in situations like this.
The best place I’ve found in my own experience is Relationship Hero.
It’s an excellent site with fairly-priced and insightful relationship coaches who know what they’re talking about and don’t beat around the bush.
If you’re unsure about your relationship or just wanting more clarity, they can help you enormously.
I myself got in touch with Relationship Hero a few months ago with questions about the state of my relationship and was very enlightened my their advice.
To be honest:
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
3) You can trust them completely
Trust is so vital in a relationship.
You can have love, attraction and all sorts of huge chemistry, but without trust that’s likely to backfire right in your face sooner or later.
Being able to depend on someone to tell the truth and be real with you is irreplaceable.
If they lie to you or try to mislead and manipulate you, then this person is not going to be a long-term partner, at least not without major heartbreak and lowering of your personal standards.
How do you know if you can trust someone?
That, of course, is the million dollar question.
Sometimes you don’t know until it’s too late. The crucial thing here is to bail out ASAP if you receive strong warning signs that they aren’t trustworthy, such as lying, cheating or trying to mislead you in serious ways.
4) Your communication is clear and direct
How’s your communication with this person?
We all have different styles of talking and understanding each other, sometimes more non-verbal than verbal.
It all depends on each unique individual.
But as far as you can measure, you want to be in a situation where you can say that you have high confidence that your communication level is very good.
If you go days without communicating or expressing feelings or thoughts in any way then this may not be as a strong a relationship as you think.
Be honest about what’s going on.
Do you feel comfortable expressing what you really feel and think with this person, or do you hold back?
5) You know they won’t cheat on you
Are you worried your partner will cheat on you?
I suppose we all are in some respect.
Being single we may also worry that if we do establish something serious we’ll get cheated on, and this can also hold some of us back from giving our heart …
These kinds of doubts require serious consideration.
But if you want to know one of the top most definite signs someone is worth staying with it’s that deep down you know they won’t cheat.
The physical possibility obviously always exists.
But someone who’s worth your while staying with for the long-term is going to give you that unbreakable surety that they won’t cheat.
You won’t feel the need to monitor them in any way, check up on them or have that sneaking suspicion in your head…
6) You find their behavior inspiring and attractive
No couple is ever perfect, and there will obviously be times you find your mate very annoying or repulsive.
However, overall you’ll find them an inspiring person who motivates you to be better, stronger and see the beauty in life.
If this isn’t happening and you’re worried why it’s not, I totally get it.
Because the fact is that love is often so disappointing as I was mentioning at the beginning of the article.
I wish it weren’t so!
Have you ever asked yourself why love is so hard?
Why can’t it be how you imagined growing up? Or at least make some sense…
When you’re dealing with deciding whether someone is really your long-term mate or not, it’s easy to become frustrated and feel very unsure and confused.
You may just want to make a snap decision or flip a coin in the end!
Or stay with potentially the wrong person out of fear of the unknown.
I want to suggest doing something different.
It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.
As Rudá explains in this eye-opening free video, many of us chase love in the wrong way.
We get stuck in awful relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for and continuing to feel horrible about things like not being sure whether our partner is really the best match for us or not.
We fall in love with an ideal version of someone instead of the real person.
We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships.
We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find and nurture love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to finding “the one.”
If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.
I guarantee you will not be disappointed.
Click here to watch the free video.
7) You share similar goals in life
I don’t believe that long-term couples need to be 100% matched up.
Difference can be sexy, and you can have your own goals and paths in life, that happen to align.
Sometimes odd couples are the best couples!
That said:
Sharing totally divergent goals in life can sometimes be a dealbreaker.
What I mean is this:
Say you want to live in completely different types of places…
One of you wants a family and the other doesn’t…
One of you desires to focus mostly on your career, and the other wants to focus on travel…
This is eventually going to result in some real conflicts and potentially going your own separate ways.
It’s just the nature of wanting fundamentally different things out of life.
8) Your values and beliefs align in many ways
Core values and beliefs are very important.
Values are things like valuing honesty or loyalty.
Beliefs then stem from these values:
For example, if honesty is one of your core values then it’s likely you will prioritize telling the truth to yourself and others.
When your beliefs and values align with your partner in many ways, it’s one of the most definite signs someone is worth staying with.
You don’t need to be 100% lined up.
But knowing you have more in common than diverging is a great start.
9) They won’t give up on you
Another of the definite signs someone is worth staying with is that they won’t give up on you.
Even when you doubt yourself, they reassure and stand by you.
Life can have some very difficult situations, and if you are with someone who’s going to drop you during a struggle, they’re simply not the one for you.
Does this mean someone should write a blank check to take your shit, or vice versa?
Definitely not!
Codependency and expecting someone else to be responsible for your happiness is highly destructive and must be avoided.
However:
Being able to know that the real struggles of life won’t leave you stranded and back at square one is also very important!
Fairweather relationships aren’t real love!
10) You support each other through the good and bad
The last point leads straight into this one:
Another of the definite signs someone is worth staying with is that you support each other through the good and the bad.
The bad is something I talked about in the last point, but what does it mean to support someone through the “good.”
That’s easy, right?
Not necessarily!
Fame, fortune and great luck can destroy some couples.
Imagine your partner becomes extremely well-known and sought after for his or her opinions, such as becoming a bestselling author or a movie star…
They now have untold temptations to cheat and all sorts of other draws on their attention.
Your job here is to support and trust them. Their job is to the same with you, and also keep enough time for you.
Good times aren’t always good for couples! If you can survive them intact, then you are a long-term love worth fighting for.
11) They treat you (and others) with respect
Another of the crucial definite signs someone is worth staying with is that they treat you and other people with respect.
Respect isn’t quite the same as affection.
It’s about a standard that somebody treats everyone with unless they’re given reason not to.
In other words: respect for respect.
This isn’t the case with everybody, clearly.
There are some wonderful people out there, who unfortunately for one reason or another are very disrespectful of people.
Usually it’s because they’re not feeling well about their life.
But they make very difficult long-term partners.
Because how they treat regular folks they come across is sadly how they will treat you one day in the future once they are used to you and the romance and physical attraction has faded more.
“Regardless of who you are, nothing screams ‘I’m an asshole with self-esteem issues’ more than being condescending to service staff.
“Yet, most people are completely oblivious to it.”
Tip: go to a very everyday diner or restaurant and see how your partner treats the staff!
12) They leave you free to have your time and space when you need it
Freedom is very important in relationships.
Codependency and anxious or avoidant attachment styles tend to predominate in couples who don’t give each other enough freedom.
We all need time and space alone sometimes, even married couples or those who are head over heels in love.
If your partner gives you space and truly respects that need you have to sometimes be alone, it’s a definite sign that they’re someone worth staying with.
Looking down the road, you want to be sure that you’re linked up with a person who really respects you and your need for independence.
The best relationships happen when two whole individuals voluntarily come together and commit!
That includes plenty of space to still remain individuals.
Look out for this important sign.
13) You’re on the same page financially
Another of the definite signs someone is worth staying with is that you both are on the same page financially.
This doesn’t mean you both need to be rich or earning the same amount.
Not at all..
Instead, you want to be sure that financial issues aren’t hiding beneath the surface.
It may not be romantic or idealistic, but finances have torn apart many true love connections.
Sad as it is, fights over money and feeling like the burden is being unfairly divided can really rankle.
If you and your partner have a clear understanding of who does what financially and how things will be going forward, it’s a strong sign that you’re well matched for the long-term.
14) You laugh together
Laughter is the glue that holds so many relationships together.
Who doesn’t love laughing?
Some couples rarely do, and it’s kind of sad.
One of the best and most definite signs someone is worth staying with is that you can laugh together and find each other genuinely funny.
Imagine having to fake it…What a nightmare.
You need to be sure that you really find your partner funny and love their unique brand of humor.
Like dating expert Toria Sheffield says:
“If you can still make each other laugh, even after fights or several years of being around each other, that’s not something to take for granted.”
15) They like you for you
As the saying goes, it’s better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you’re not.
This is something many people only find out the hard way!
Avoid this mistake by simply being true to yourself.
Don’t apologize for who you are to anybody, not even once.
You deserve to be you, just like they have a right to be themselves.
If your partner loves you for you, then they’re a keeper.
Will this relationship stand the test of time?
If you are with someone and many of the signs above are true then you are in very good shape.
It is likely that this partner is worth staying with and your commitment is well-founded!
If you’re still having insecurities and doubts about it, I highly recommend once again talking to the folks at Relationship Hero.
They can help you out with many of these complicated and emotionally difficult issues that can be so hard to figure out alone.
