How to heal from narcissistic abuse

Imagine a life where you are in control; free from the cruel words and oppressive actions of another. You have space to let your identity shine through, no longer deflecting away love or validation as it was never true before.

Embrace this freedom and be liberated – it can be done!

Healing from narcissistic abuse is possible. All it takes is dedication and understanding of the 13 steps below:

1) Acknowledge that you were abused

More often than not, people who are abused deny that anything even happened. At times, they think that what their abuser did was normal and acceptable.

You see, domestic violence in any form is unacceptable. Recognizing that you were abused is the first step toward healing.

Nobody deserves to be treated with anything but the utmost respect. Showing sympathy and understanding for ourselves or victims of narcissistic abuse is an essential first step in finding peace from such a damaging experience.

Of course, this kind of unhealthy cycle can carry with you for a long time. The only way to break it is by recognizing the signs of abuse and understanding that you don’t deserve it.

2) Grieve your humiliation and losses

Death isn’t the only cause of grief. Any kind of pain or suffering can trigger it, including narcissistic abuse.

Grieving isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather an essential part of the healing process. It’s a journey that can help heal old wounds and guide you toward a better path.

What’s more, you can grieve with a trusted inner circle or strangers who have experienced similar challenges. They can offer emotional support along the way.

3) Practice self-care and affection

For someone who has undergone very heavy emotional and mental abuse from a narcissistic abuser, loving yourself may seem impossible.

But it isn’t.

I know it isn’t because I experienced this kind of abuse firsthand.

Overcoming the fear of self-love was a challenge. But I discovered how essential it was to practice kindness and compassion towards myself.

This opened up an amazing path for me – one filled with hope and healing.

I learned that from world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê in his masterclass, The Art of Love and Intimacy.

He goes deep into how toxic habits can hold me back from finding true and meaningful connections. I learned that I could break away from what I have been conditioned to think as normal and start loving myself.

You can have the same experience with his masterclass, too. Believe me,  when you start to practice self-care, it will make a world of difference in your road to recovery.

Check out his masterclass now by clicking here.

4) Set boundaries

If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, setting boundaries is essential in order to take back control and make healthier choices. 

Keep in mind that boundaries don’t mean cutting people off. It just means recognizing what will make you feel safe and respected. 

Just as the most beautiful gardens require pruning for new life to thrive, so too do we benefit from boundaries. They establish healthy relationships with ourselves and those around us, providing stability within our lives long-term. 

Take some time for yourself, and explore what boundaries you can create to safeguard against future hurt.

But you don’t have to do it alone.

5) Build a support network

Healing from an abusive relationship is no small feat. It requires strength and courage, but it isn’t something you should have to go through alone.

Surround yourself with relationships that nurture your soul. People who will listen to your story without judgment, offer support as well as remind you of how valuable and deserving of the love you are.

Don’t forget: the hurt inflicted by a past partner does not define or control your future.

Make sure there are people around to help bring out the fire in you so that healing can take its rightful place.

And when you need your “me” time, why not spend it where you can really take a breath?

6) Spend time in nature

Reconnecting with nature can be a powerful remedy if you’re coming back from the darkness of narcissism.

You know, nature’s an outlet where you reclaim your strength, break free, and practice self-love. There, you can acknowledge your own needs during this period of low self-esteem, sadness, and feelings of guilt.

A wave-filled beach stroll, a meditation session in your backyard, or a peaceful walk in your local park not only reconnects you to your own strength and resilience. It also helps cultivate an inner sense of peace, exploration, and self-love.

It’s one of those gifts most likely overlooked during this tough time but will always come around when we need it – like sunshine after rain.

This brings me to my next point:

7) Focus on the present

Healing from having a romantic partner with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves focusing on the present and shifting focus from the past.

Of course, the past has shaped who you are today. But what about the now?

You see, practicing mindfulness can help counteract negative beliefs or ruminations that may be triggered by past experiences. This allows survivors like yourself to focus on the present moment.

Allow yourself to be present and help mend your heart.

Appreciate the world around you; something small can bring immense joy if we just take a moment to acknowledge it.

Trust me – these little bits of joy can really add up, and help you stay on track with your recovery.

8) Practice gratitude

As you embark on the road to recovery from narcissistic abuse, don’t forget that cultivating an attitude of gratitude is essential. 

Instead of allowing yourself to dwell in a mindset where you feel like something’s missing in your life, take time each day to appreciate all that’s good and plentiful around you.

It could be your family members who care for you unconditionally or exciting opportunities at work.

It could also be simply feeling thankful for being alive! 

Give thanks for even little blessings. This can help open your heart up toward true abundance which will only support your healing process further.

9) Learn to trust your intuition

If you have suffered under the weight of narcissistic abuse, don’t be afraid to tap into your inner wisdom and find unconditional freedom.

Through a journey of self-reflection, discover what lies beneath all doubt and confusion – trust in yourself! 

Let this faith guide every important decision that comes as life unfolds before you.

In fact, this is what you’ll also learn in Rudá Iandê’s masterclass, The Art of Love and Intimacy.

Enduring a narcissistic relationship can leave you feeling shaky and uncertain about your trust in yourself. 

However, the best way to restore your faith is by reconnecting with those inner thoughts – your intuition. And learning how to access it will help you discern reality from fantasy and make decisions that are true for you.

I highly recommend Rudá’s course if you’re looking for an empowering and transformative way to begin healing from within. 

Check out his masterclass now by clicking here.

10) Discover your own authenticity

When you deal with a narcissist, you tend to lose your authentic voice. But it’s never too late to reclaim your true identity and find yourself again.

Break free from all that holds you back; discover the hobbies, passions, and pursuits that make YOU come alive.

A dance class for body-mind harmony? A blog where expression is key? Or immersing yourself in real estate deals as an empowering investment strategy? You decide! 

Liberate yourself from the judgment of others by stopping simply existing and start thriving instead!

Eventually, this step will build a sense of self-worth that is solid and immovable, no matter the circumstances.

11) Set realistic goals

Life after narcissistic abuse can seem daunting and it’s understandable to feel stuck – almost as if you’re caught in quicksand.

But with realistic targets, taking one day at a time, there is hope for progress!

One small step can lead to the big leap you’ve been dreaming of. Start by making achievable goals every day, and watch your dreams of healing and moving on to reality.

From taking walks at a nearby park twice a week to finishing two books in a month, these small accomplishments slowly add up making us stronger each day.

And the best part is you do can do it on your own terms.

No one else is there to dictate what you should do or how you should spend your time.

12) Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is a path that can be difficult to take when it comes to overcoming hurt and pain inflicted by someone else. This is especially if they are a narcissist. 

But this journey can end the cycle of anguish – your mental health ultimately deserves peace more than anything.

Choosing not to relive these experiences means you’re validating them rather than disregarding their importance. 

Don’t forget though: along with forgiving others, ensure self-forgiveness, too.

Remember, you’re human – no one is perfect and mistakes can be made. 

Learning how to do this will help you find the strength and courage to finally move forward with clarity. 

13) Learn to love yourself

The journey to self-love and acceptance is a beautiful one full of personal growth.

Now is the time to become reconnected with who you truly are and break free from any detrimental habits that have been trapping you in abusive cycles.

A good way is to acknowledge yourself with positive affirmations.

You see, loving yourself will help open doors for healthier relationships too.

So take a moment to envision the emotional contentment that dwells within you if only you allow it. Summon your courage and open yourself up.

You’ll see, in time you’ll be able to bask in the glory of self-love, and it will be worth every step of this journey.

How do you know if you’re in a narcissistic relationship?

In narcissistic relationships, one person holds the power and dominates their partner by disregarding feelings with utter disregard. It’s a breeding ground for psychological abuse – energy-draining tactics like gaslighting, verbal aggression, and guilt-tripping that strip self-worth from partners who don’t recognize it soon enough.

You may be thinking…isn’t this normal in all relationships, more so romantic relationships?

Unfortunately, the answer is no.

Relationships should be foundations for love, understanding, and support.

In a narcissistic relationship, however, the power is terribly unbalanced. That’s because their narcissistic traits try to dominate and manipulate you to obtain control.

What are the effects of being abused by a narcissist?

As you know, narcissists are experts at manipulation and control.

Unfortunately, this can have serious psychological repercussions on their victims as they’re left questioning their worth and value in the world.

Moreover, victims of narcissism are all too often left feeling lost and alone; robbed of their trust, and confusion reigning over the decisions they thought were theirs to make.

Sadly, the physical impacts of narcissistic abuse can be equally devastating.

You could experience an array of symptoms such as headaches, stomach pains, or insomnia because your body is overloaded with stress and anxiety from a toxic relationship.

No matter how deeply scarring the wounds inflicted by narcissists are, you can overcome your trauma with a brave heart and dedication to healing.

Go on…Take the first step toward healing

If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, take the courage to know that these stages of healing aren’t an impossible journey – they can be done!

Starting the healing process requires stepping out of your comfort zone and being open to tackling difficult emotions.

Rather than letting somebody else define who are, choose for yourself how you want to live and find joy in this life again.

With a little bit of patience and dedication from yourself, eventually, those bonds will start to disperse.

Soon enough, you will feel liberated once more, standing proud on two feet ready to embrace all possibilities coming your way with more confidence and self-love than ever before.

Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie was born and raised in Manila, Philippines. She is a graduate of Humanities from the University of Asia and the Pacific.

Frankie is a seasoned Customer Success and Human Resources professional. She is also a certified Life Coach and Career Strategist. She helps people young and young at heart to simplify their lives by creating emotional awareness. She also loves working with people who have a genuine interest in breaking their inner limits through their journey of self-discovery and authenticity in their personal and professional lives.

Frankie’s recent venture into writing is fueled by her passion for human connection and meaningful relationships at home, at work, and basically everywhere. She enjoys the research, discovery, and reflection that go into each article as much as she writes about them, in the hopes that her words resonate with, and give perspective to her audience.

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