There’s no pain quite like losing somebody you love.
It’s like a knife in the heart to know that someone you care about deeply is gone and won’t be back.
Here’s how to survive a breakup and come out stronger on the other side.
1) Become active and empowered
The most helpful tips to get over your ex-girlfriend are focused on your own personal development.
When life goes the opposite of how you hope and expect there are two basic options:
The first is to deny what’s happening, lash out and complain. The second is to accept what’s happening, empower yourself and drop any expectations for others to make you feel better.
Sometimes, part of life is feeling awful and let down.
Sometimes, the person you care about most really stabs you in the back or makes you feel abandoned.
Maybe you find it hard to think of anything but them.
But it’s exactly this time that you must try to do whatever you can to go through your grieving and still stay active.
2) Get your career on track
There is nothing wrong or “bad” about feeling crushed by the failure of a relationship.
Whether it was you or her who broke up, having someone you cared about deeply no longer be in your life hurts badly.
The idea of “getting over” an ex, does not mean that you no longer care or never feel sad.
What it means, principally, is that your life does not end and that you continue to have meaningful and worthwhile experiences despite the breakup.
That’s why one of the best tips to get over your ex-girlfriend is to focus on your career.
Instead of going on benders, sinking into extreme lethargy, or getting your entire body tattooed from head to toe (which is one very expensive option), focusing on a career is a double plus.
That’s because it gives you confidence and marketable skills while also distracting you very well from the heartbreak you’re going through.
As I said, there’s nothing wrong with feeling awful, it’s natural. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do something useful while your soul is feeling crushed.
3) Get her back
One of the best ways to get over your ex-girlfriend is to get her back.
I know it sounds like a joke…
But sometimes a breakup that looks final, is actually just a big bump in the road.
The best way to find out whether it’s really over is to think about how to get your ex back.
In this situation, there’s only one thing to do, re-spark their romantic interest in you.
I learned about this from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you again.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.
Here’s a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex back, this video will help you do this.
4) Try new hobbies
Another one of the most helpful tips to get over your ex-girlfriend is to try new hobbies.
This could be something as simple as taking up painting in your free time all the way to participating in airsoft battle tournaments or learning how to sail. The options are almost endless, and now that society is opening up again after several years of being closed down, it’s an exciting time to try a new hobby.
Here’s a list of ten great ideas to get your ex off your mind and try new hobbies that are a lot of fun:
- Take archery classes
- Get a pet dog or cat
- Learn a new language
- Try retiling your bathroom
- Repaint your bedroom
- Start taking guitar lessons
- Become a rare mineral collector
- Join a chess club
Those are just a few ideas for new hobbies to try.
I’m not saying you’ll forget about your ex
5) Focus on your family
Being newly single is an excellent time to get closer to your family.
Whether that means your kids, parents, extended relatives, or nieces and nephews, this is an opportunity to do that.
You can put the time into birthday presents and cards, social visits, and being there for your kin.
This is one of those tips to get over your ex-girlfriend that doesn’t sound glamorous but it really works.
As you reconnect and make stronger connections with the people you love and care about, you will find that even though the sadness of separation still lingers, there’s a new satisfaction deep inside.
You’re being there for your family members and it feels good. What’s more:
They may have missed you in ways you didn’t even realize when you were in the thick of your relationship and didn’t have as much time for them.
6) Make new friendships
When your heart is broken and you feel like curling up in a ball and cursing existence, it’s the last time you want to socialize.
Even if you go out to eat or sit at a cafe or bar, you’re that quiet guy with a thousand-yard stare who looks like he’s draped over the furniture.
But the exact moment when you’re at your lowest can also be an unexpected opportunity to really connect with people.
There’s no pretense and false positivity left. You’re at your lowest, and people can see it.
According to New Age gurus and the Law of Attraction, in this state, you’re going to attract totally toxic people who will drag you down dark paths.
The reality, in my experience, is actually a lot different.
Many of the most genuine and uplifting friends I’ve made were when I was at my lowest after a breakup and desperately trying to resist befriending anyone.
But they came along unexpectedly and we connected. I’m not saying I forgot my ex or just started grinning and loving life again, but I don’t regret the friends I made for an instant.
And looking back I can see how they helped me massively with moving on from painful breakups.
7) Stop relying on blind luck or ‘destiny’
One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made and seen other guys make when it comes to getting over an ex is to leave it to blind luck or “destiny.”
They start burning sage or listening to binaural beats on YouTube and think that “positive” energy is somehow going to bring back the one they love or get them over her.
But if you want actual useful tips to get over your ex-girlfriend, try to think about what went wrong and how you can actually repair it.
Just as business is all about providing value, so are relationships.
So what value do you bring to her if she gets back together with you?
Rather than leaving it up to fate to decide, why not take things into your own hands and find a way to get through to your ex?
I mentioned Brad Browning earlier – he’s an expert in relationships and reconciliation.
His practical tips have helped thousands of men and women not only reconnect with their exes but to rebuild the love and commitment they once shared.
If you’d like to do the same, check out his excellent free video here.
8) Go out with someone new
This step is not something that every guy will be comfortable doing.
But if you feel up to it, going out on dates with new people can be another excellent way to start putting some emotional distance between you and your ex.
Of course, it can also make you realize that you love her even more than you knew and make you feel like you’ll never meet someone new.
That’s why I recommend only going out if you’ve already been split up for at least a month or two.
Don’t rush yourself too much, but when you do feel like you’re ready, try meeting up for dinner or a coffee with a few ladies.
See if you can have a nice conversation even if you’re not feeling much of a spark.
Make it your goal to get out there and talk to someone new even if you have no intention of getting serious.
At least you will be doing all you can to move on.
And if your ex wants another chance, you won’t be sitting and waiting with your hand out.
9) Develop your resilience and toughness
Here’s the brutal truth about a large majority of people:
They deal with heartbreak, loss, and pain by running away from it.
That’s not even a judgment, merely an observation. I’ve done it myself numerous times in various forms.
But here’s the thing about running away from pain and disappointment:
And the more you try, the more that these problems will circle back and eventually stare you right back in the face again.
That’s why this time when it feels like everything is falling apart can be an excellent opportunity to grit your teeth and become tough as hell.
Here’s the thing:
I don’t mean to push the pain down, pretend to be fine, drink large bottles of whiskey while listening to death metal all day or things like that.
What I mean is to continue through the pain, rather than run from it.
Feel it, accept it, endure it.
You’ll come out the other side with some scars, for sure, but you’ll come out the other side.
And that’s the important thing.
10) Lesson your attachment to social media
Social media is an amazing tool and can be great for networking and sharing a laugh or an important discussion.
But when it comes to romance, social media can be a really nasty trap.
In order to avoid falling into that nasty trap full of big shiny spikes, you need to lessen your attachment to your social media accounts and smartphone in general.
One of the best tips to get over your ex-girlfriend is simply to reduce how much you use social media.
I’m not saying you have to delete all your accounts or stop scrolling Facebook or Instagram altogether.
Just do it less. A lot less.
If that seems hard, think about the last time your day was ruined since the breakup.
I would bet good money that sometime in that day you took a glance at social media and saw something from or about your ex that made you feel like crap.
11) Get a professional to weigh in
If your girlfriend is gone and you are feeling awful, you may get a lot of well wishes and advice from friends, family, and even strangers.
But how much is it really worth? Especially if they’re all just telling you their own subjective opinion?
Relationships can be confusing and frustrating. Sometimes you’ve hit a wall and you really don’t know what to do next.
Sure, you want to get over your ex, but part of you also wants to do everything to make it work still.
Somehow there has got to still be away, right?
Well, maybe. An expert could be helpful here.
I know that I was always skeptical about getting outside help until I actually tried it out.
Relationship Hero is the best site I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talking. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult situations like deciding whether to move on from an ex or try to get back together.
Personally, I tried them last year while going through a soul-crushing breakup that had me questioning my whole life from A to Z.
They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions that ended up getting through to my ex.
My coach was kind, they took the time to really understand my unique situation, and gave genuinely helpful advice.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
12) Set a disciplined daily regimen
One of the parts of learning from the pain and becoming stronger from it, rests in discipline and scheduling.
Growing up I always thought schedules for our lives and goals were for micromanagers or people who are overly controlling.
But they’re really not.
Scheduling your day down to every hour of the day can actually be very empowering.
Of course, unexpected things happen, but the point is that you can set a schedule and a daily regimen as much as possible.
This can list things like:
- Daily tasks
- Work commitments
- Haircuts and other appointments
- Personal meetings and dates
It sounds a bit detailed, but having your schedule down on paper can get you really focused.
It will also make the days seem a bit more manageable and proactive as you go through the aftermath of a painful breakup.
13) Exercise and eat well
What you put into your body and what you do with it matters a lot.
This is especially true when you’re in a stressful situation and going through significant emotional turmoil.
Eating well and getting exercise isn’t going to single-handedly get you over your ex and ready to face the world.
Nor will it necessarily make your ex want to get back with you.
But it certainly won’t hurt. And a sense of well-being in your daily life will go a long way.
I always used to underestimate the importance of exercising and diet, but my experiences showed me it can make a big impact.
I especially recommend seeing if your local gym has a group class, as this is even more motivational and is more helpful to get you disciplined and on schedule.
14) Express your emotions
As I’ve emphasized in this article, one of the things that many men try to do after a breakup is to white-knuckle it.
They grit their teeth, lower their head and try to push through.
Even when it works, it leads to you becoming a more repressed and miserable person: a more disempowered person.
It’s vital to express your emotions even if they’re very “uncomfortable.”
They’re going to come out in one form or another, so why not let them out in healthy ways?
Channel your frustrations into projects…
New friendships and hobbies…
And some of the other suggestions I’ve given here in this article.
Don’t do it because you “should” or because you expect results, do it because you can.
15) Write it down
Getting your thoughts down on paper can be one of the most helpful tips to get over your ex-girlfriend.
This is because it’s often hard to verbally express everything we’re going through after a breakup, nor do we necessarily want to talk to friends or a therapist.
Instead, you can get a pen and paper and just start writing down everything you feel, even if it’s stupid or enraged, or random.
You don’t have to ever show it to anyone.
Plus, it ensures that you won’t type it into a text message and hit send late one night while you’re feeling a bit reckless.
Writing down your thoughts in a journal, or on a computer, if you prefer can be a great way to vent and to get clarity and closure.
You may not feel “better” over your ex, but you’ll have a feeling that you’ve gotten blocked energy flowing again and are grappling with reality instead of hiding from it.
16) Let nature nurture you
There’s sometimes a no better place for a broken-hearted man than sitting under a weeping willow or going for a walk through the forest.
Nature has the ability to speak to us without words that nothing else in life can match.
Nature doesn’t judge, nor does it offer solutions.
It doesn’t demand that you “feel better” or do anything.
You can just exist and be, while surrounded by the whispering pines and a rushing brook.
You can feel the sun on your shoulders or the rain on your umbrella.
You can be you and slowly let the pain and frustration of the past work its way through you and become a part of you in a way that you can own and accept.
17) Have faith in the future
The best tip to get over your ex-girlfriend is to have faith in the future.
This doesn’t mean that you convince yourself everything is going to be fine or that you are fine.
What it means is to hold on to that small shred of optimism and resilience you still have somewhere inside.
Believe in it, demand it, know it. There will be love down the road. You will survive, and the heartbreak and disappointment you’re feeling now is part of life but not all of it.
If you’re looking for tips to get over your ex-girlfriend, you’ve taken the right first step.
You’re facing the current and sad reality and ready to take it like a man.
On the other hand, I want to encourage you not to give up all hope just yet.
If you want your ex back, you have to be ready to move on.
But there may still be some hope.
Part of the secret is that if you can resolve to truly overcome the despair you feel about the breakup, you can begin to become the kind of guy she’d consider getting back together with.
But if you really want to get your ex back, you’re going to need a bit of help.
And the best person to turn to is Brad Browning.
No matter how ugly the breakup was, how hurtful the arguments were, he’s developed a couple of unique techniques to not only get your ex back but to keep them for good.
So, if you’re tired of missing your ex and want to start afresh with them, I’d highly recommend checking out his incredible advice.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.