There’s a reason people say, “love hurts.” Because it does. Even when you are at your happiest in a relationship, the thought of losing someone can cause a sting of agony in your life.
Love certainly has its ups and downs, but one of the cruelest forms of love is when you express your love to someone and they don’t say it back.
It happens all the time. In fact, it’s the plotline of may romantic comedies where women pick themselves up and make drastic changes in their lives after falling flat on their faces.
But that’s Hollywood. So hat can you do, as a real person with real feelings, to get over a guy?
Here are 7 things you can do when you need to get over a guy who doesn’t love you back and you need to move on.
1) Give yourself time.
Even if you weren’t in a relationship with this person, it can hurt as much when someone doesn’t return your love and affection.
Often, we don’t get the answers we need to provide closure to our feelings and it can go on for a long time.
Being rejected is everyone’s worst fear. It stops us from doing all kinds of things in life.
But if you’ve been rejected in love, even after you mustered up the courage to say something, it can have a lasting effect on your life, and your love life later on.
Allow yourself some time to process what happened and don’t beat yourself up. You’ll need to be kind to yourself for a while if you want to get over this guy.
2) Feel the pain.
While it might seem counterintuitive to say “feel the pain,” it can actually help you make meaning of the situation faster and come to terms with it.
There’s no doubt that people hate feeling shitty, but sometimes, we need to feel that way to allow our brains and bodies to process what is happening.
At first, you’ll want to blame yourself and say it’s all your fault, but you really have no control over how others act and feel and so you can’t take that approach. Instead, focus on your feelings and sit with them a while.
You might find that they are just thoughts in your head that are upsetting you. Maybe you can replace those thoughts overtime and find a new focus in your life to get over this guy.
3) Get the girls together
Another great way to get over a guy who wasn’t really yours to begin with is to blow it all off and go out with the girls.
Your friends are your rock and your support network, even when you are facing lost love you never had. Let them do their job and take care of you.
Let them buy you a drink and tell you how awesome you are and let them remind you that it’s “his loss” if he doesn’t want to be with a rockstar like you.
Seriously, call the girls. It won’t be long before you start feeling better.
4) Find the bigger picture.
Sometimes it’s helpful to sit down and make a list of all the things you liked about a person.
While it might seem like you could just set yourself into a tailspin of depression, you might actually find that they didn’t have as many good things going on as you might have originally thought.
And if they do, consider that if one person on the planet has all of those amazing qualities, maybe other people do too! And you can certainly find someone else who is warm, caring, funny, smart, and owns a boat… right?
5) Look at the downside.
The easiest way to get over a guy who didn’t love you back is to look at their flaws. Instead of focusing on all that you are losing out on by not being with this guy, look at all you don’t have to put up with!
It’s easier to point out the flaws in someone because nobody is perfect, and you might just make yourself feel better in the process.
6) Do something for yourself.
If you feel like you need to hide away for awhile, do it. But book yourself a room at the boutique hotel down the street, order room service, and relax. Do something just for you.
You are your own best friend after all, and you need to be there for your broken heart just as much as anyone else. Consider a road trip, shopping trip, or just a walk in the woods to clear your head and focus on what you have that’s good in your life: you!
7) Try again.
If you really want to move on, consider going out with someone else to get over this guy. Lots of people date around and there’s nothing wrong with getting back in the saddle as soon as possible. There’s no rule about how long you need to grieve or nurse a broken heart.
If you feel like seeing another guy might make you feel better, then by all means, make it happen. And you never know what you might find. He might show up being warm, kind, funny, smart…and have a boat.