How to get a guy to like you: 18 no bullsh*t tips

Image credit: Shutterstock - By View Apart

When it comes to attracting a guy you like, I’m sure you’ve heard enough advice like “dress sexy” or “do your hair” for one lifetime.

But if you’re looking for some practical strategies that actually work, then you’ll love this post.

It’s an actionable 18 point cheat-sheet you can use to get any guy to like you and chase you.

Let’s go:

1) How to get a guy to chase you: Flirt…the right way

Image credit: Shutterstock – By View Apart

Sounds obvious, right? Some people are natural flirts who always seem to find it easy to make that instant connection with anyone, anywhere.

But most of us don’t always find it easy to flirt.

Have you ever been on a date, assuming that if the chemistry’s there for you, the flirting will come easily? And then you try and flirt and it just doesn’t work out?

You’re not alone, and the good news is that flirting is a skill that you can practice and get good at, just like anything else.

Nerves can make flirting difficult. And those nerves are more likely to kick in when you really like someone.

The killer here is that lack of flirting can come across as bad vibes. Your guy might be expecting a little playful flirting and when it doesn’t happen, he just assumes you’re not interested.

Don’t fall into the trap of expecting the man to do most of the flirting. Most guys love it when a girl gives as good as he does.

Think of flirting is a process of communication. It’s an opportunity for you to show him a little of who you are and open up your personality up to him in a way you don’t to other people.

By flirting, you’re giving him your full attention (and that’s hot).

Here are some tips for flirting:

1) Draw attention to your lips. Yep, this does actually work. Keep chapstick or lipgloss in your bag and get pouty.

2) If you’re in a group of people, say hi while looking at everyone but him. He’ll feel left out. Then include him in the conversation slightly later and it’ll make his day.

3) Do the bump-and-flatter. “Accidentally” run into him in a crowd or at a party and laugh and say: “Oh, sorry – I become a total klutz around cute people”. They’ll be immediately flattered and will want to get to know you.

4) Get eye contact with your crush. Instead of looking away like most people usually, look at him directly, smile and wink. It will show you’re incredibly confident and if he has any balls, he’ll then come talk to you.

5) Check out their clothes. Make a comment about them. This doesn’t usually happen to guys so you’ll appear interested and a conversation should ensue.

6) Playfully hit him. This should help him understand that you like him, and it’s fun!

7) Compare your hand sizes. “Wow, your hands are so much bigger than mine”.

8) Cold and hug. If it’s cold, ask for a cuddle to keep warm.

9) Use back-handed compliments.

For example, you could say, “Your nose is so cute. It wiggles when you laugh.” Or “You’re smile is cute. It’s a little crooked, I love it!”.

These aren’t insults, but they’re simply things that other females who are interested in him won’t say.

It’s like you’re negating your own interest, and making him wonder whether you like him or not. It’s a great, fun way to play “hard to get”.

Don’t use these too often, just occasionally. Remember, giving flat out compliments can make you appear a bit easy, and usually guys love a chase. But these “compliments” are different and will spark the “chase” in him.

Top tip:

If you’re finding flirting hard, try treating it like a joke or a game. Stop worrying about the outcome or whether you’ll get anything back.

It can be easier to make your flirting really obvious, rather than worrying about whether you’re being subtle.

So, if he offers you a drink, say something like “are you trying to take advantage of me?” in a laughing, jokey way.

He’ll get the message you’re interested and you’ll have given him the opportunity to say something flirty back. If he doesn’t, you can move on without being embarrassed, because it’s all just been a joke, right?

2) Trigger his hero instinct

If you want to get a guy to like you, then you need to trigger something deep inside him. Something he desperately needs.

What is it?

For a guy to really like you, he has to feel like your provider and protector. Someone that you genuinely admire.

In other words, he needs to feel like your hero.

I know it sounds kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

And I couldn’t agree more.

But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.

Men have a thirst for your admiration. They want to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives and provide for and protect her.

This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When it comes to a relationship, he needs to see himself as someone you genuinely want and need to have around. Not as a mere accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’.

There’s actually a term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the hero instinct.

Now, you can’t trigger his hero instinct just giving him admiration next time you see him. Men don’t like receiving participation awards for showing up. Trust me.

A man wants to feel like he has earned your love and respect.


There are phrases you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can use to trigger his hero instinct.

And because no man can resist a woman who makes him feel like a hero, it’s worth learning a few of these things.

If you want to learn more about this powerful technique (from the man who invented it), then check out his short video here.

Top tip:

If you can trigger this instinct successfully, you’ll see the results immediately.

When a man genuinely feels like your hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and interested in being in a committed relationship with you.

The hero instinct is a subconscious drive men have to gravitate toward people who make them feel like a hero. But it’s amplified in his romantic relationships.

That’s why I recommend watching this free online video where you can learn more about the hero instinct.

3) Be yourself to get a guy to like you

There is no point in trying to catch your man by pretending to be someone you’re not.

Sure, you might get that date and, if you’re willing to keep up the pretense, even a relationship.

But acting like someone you’re not isn’t easy, and it’s also a complete waste of time. If the guy you want doesn’t want to date you as you actually are, you’re setting yourself and them up for disappointment.

It’s also pretty likely that your guy will start to notice that maybe you’re not being yourself.

When you’re constantly pretending, you tend not to be particularly relaxed, even if you think you are, and that shows.

Nervousness can be cute for a while, but it’s not sexy. You want to be giving off those super-hot, strong-woman vibes. If you’re trying to be someone else, that won’t be happening.

But while it’s easy to say that you want to be yourself, doing it can be hard. Think about the way young kids are – or try to remember what it was like to be one yourself.

Small kids haven’t been around long enough to try and spend all their time people-pleasing or living up to some preconceived idea of who they should be.

The attitude of the average three-year-old is ‘take me as I am’.

Top tip:

Try and channel your inner child. That doesn’t mean you should be selfish or lack self-awareness. It just means you should try and get back to the essence of who you actually are.

Take a pen and paper and, without giving yourself time to think about it, write down words that you think describe your innate good qualities. Maybe you’re creative? Daring? Funny? Easygoing? Ambitious? What are the good things that make you who you are?

When you know yourself and you know how to bring out your best qualities, many guys will want to chase you.

(To learn how to discover the real you, check out our guide to being your true self here)

4) Hang out in the places they are

It’s an obvious one, but you’re not going to bag the man of your dreams if you’re not where they are.

But this doesn’t mean that you should pretend you’re into things that you’re not, just to get your guy.

Focus first on your own interests. What do you love doing? If you can meet the right guy doing something you both love, your shared interest will give you a great foundation for a relationship.

Some of your interests might seem solitary, but there’s often a way to make even solo interests social activities. So, if you run, join a running club.

Or perhaps you have some interests that are pretty social, but generally, involve going out with your existing friends.

That’s always fun, but it’s often hard to meet a guy when you’re busy with your friends. Try and expand your social circle beyond the people you usually go out with. Maybe there’s a Meetup group or similar that you could join.

Think about what’s important to you in a man. If you know that you really want to be with someone who loves outdoor activities, find groups going hiking or rock climbing. If you love good food and wine, look for wine tastings and gourmet food events.

Top tip:

If there’s someone you’ve set your sights on already, and you’re not sure if you have any shared interests, look for the common ground between you. It might not always be obvious what that is.

You should never pretend you like doing something just because they do, but it doesn’t hurt to stretch yourself a little either.

For example, if you know that they’re into kayaking, and you’ve never done it but you’ve always thought it would be fun to try, maybe now’s the time to give it a go.

And if you can’t find any common ground at all, think hard about whether they’re really the right one for you.

5) Don’t think too much about the next stage

Image credit: Shutterstock – By InnerVisionPRO

When you’re trying to set up those early dates with someone new, it can be hard not to get carried away with yourself.

It’s natural to want to daydream about future dates and plans, and there’s nothing wrong with a little dreaming. We all do it.

But getting too carried away with the future can kill any potential relationship stone dead.

Living in the future means you’re not enjoying the present. If you’re out to dinner and all you’re thinking about is what you’ll do for your next date, you’re not focusing on what’s actually happening.

That can lead to you seem distracted or uninterested (when it’s actually the opposite), and put your date off coming back for more.

It can also mean you give off vibes of being a little too heavy, even if you don’t mention the future at all.

It can seem like you’re making an assumption about what will happen next, and that’s off-putting for a lot of people.

Put yourself in their shoes: do you want a date that’ll assume he’s getting the next date? Or do you want them to just enjoy what’s happening, there and then, and worry about the next date, next?

In the early stages of dating, before you make any kind of commitment, most people want to feel like they can walk away without any drama if it turns out it’s not for them.

Top tip:

The early dating phase is your opportunity to size him up, so use it.

If you’ve already created a fantasy in your head, you might find it’s hard to see past that fantasy and read the signs that this isn’t the guy for you.

If you feel like you’re having doubts, don’t ignore them, but don’t act on them yet. Keep them at the back of your head, enjoy the moment and let it all unfold naturally.

If the doubts are still there after a few more dates, reassess.

6) Say the right things

Why do men fall for certain women but not others?

Well, according to the science journal, “Archives of Sexual Behavior”, men don’t choose women for “logical reasons”.

The truth is that trying to convince a man or show him how amazing you are always backfires. Because you’re sending him the opposite signals of what he needs to commit to you.

Instead, men choose women who they are infatuated with. With the right words, these women stir up a sense of excitement and desire to chase them.

Top tip:

Get yourself a relationship coach!

You see, relationships can be rather confusing and frustrating. Sometimes you’ve hit a wall and you really don’t know what to do next. 

I’ve always been hesitant about getting outside help, but I’m happy I tried it out. 

Relationship Hero is the best site I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult situations such as getting the guy you’ve always liked! 

Personally, I tried them last year while going through a love crisis. They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions. 

My coach was kind. They took the time to really understand my unique situation and gave genuinely helpful advice. 

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to check them out.

7) Feel and look good

strong woman
Image credit: Shutterstock – By Lipik Stock Media

There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who looks good, feels good, and knows it. It’s sexy as hell.

And when you feel good about yourself, you naturally project that feeling outwards. Others pick up on it, and their interest and desire is stoked.

What does it take for you to feel good about yourself? Only you know that. You’ve probably read loads of tips telling you to buy some sexy new lingerie, get a new haircut, or try a higher heel.

All these things can help, sure, but only if they’re things that mean something to you. If you’re just not a lacy lingerie and high-heels kind of girl, they’re not going to work for you.

They’ll just make you feel out of sorts and uncomfortable.

Think broader. Feeling amazing is not about other people’s expectations, it’s about you.

Maybe your route to feeling sexy is going for a run or spending time reading or listening to amazing music.

Maybe it’s beating your targets at work or going out for cocktails with the girls. It’s whatever it takes to feel you’re living life to the full.

The key thing here is that looking good and feeling sexy is about way more than just the clothes you wear or how you style your hair.

These things are great things to do, but unless they’re important to you, they won’t demonstrate that inner sexiness that men find really attractive.

Top tip:

By looking good on the outside, you’re showing your guy that you’re great to look at, but that’s all you’re really showing.

Find a way (your way) to let that inner, confident sexiness shine out, and you’re showing him that you’re going to be fantastic in bed, able to match him as an equal.

8) Be open to dating in various forms

Dating doesn’t all have to be about dinners out and cocktail bars. Those things are fun, sure, and probably near the top of most people’s dating to-do lists.

But they can also feel like a little bit of a performance, and it’s hard sometimes to really let yourself shine out on those kinds of dates, or to get a good idea of what your date is like.

There’s a lot of pressure to look perfect and be perfect, which means you’re not really being yourself. And, as you’re fabulous, you want them to know that, right?

Treat dating as an adventure, rather than a performance. Think of it as a chance to do things together, rather than just showing him what you’ve got.

First dates are often best as low-pressure drinks in a bar, somewhere you can relax and leave easily if it doesn’t go to plan.

If you’re relaxed, he will be too and the chances are, your ‘one drink’ will turn into a multi-bar crawl and a fantastic night.

After that, well, going for dinner is great. But think too about the other things you can do. What about going ice-skating, or taking a walk that ends in a lazy lunch, or doing an art class together?

Look for mutual interests and then find the dates that will suit you both. Doing things together (other than just drinking and eating!) gives you the chance to show off your passions.

It is a fantastic opportunity for all that inner confidence and sexiness to shine out.

Top tip:

Dating could be a great opportunity to try your hand at something totally new to both of you. Why not both put a few ideas in a hat, things you’ve always wanted to try, and pick out a couple at random. It’ll be a real adventure!

9) Don’t stop seeing other people

In the early stages of dating it’s all too easy to forget that the person you’re into right now might not be the person you want in a month’s time.

That’s just the nature of a crush. You like them, you want to spend time with them, and your brain just seems to naturally filter out everyone else.

It’s a mistake to let this happen too quickly. Because however right the guy in front of you now might turn out to be, you’re moving too fast if you start thinking of him as a certain bet too early.

If things work out, you’ve got the rest of your life to commit. This time, right now, is the time to allow yourself to dream and experiment.

It’s time to remind yourself that you might be wrong about the amazing guy you’re dating.

Tomorrow might be the day they tell you they still live with their parents aged 30 and have no plans to move out.

And you’ll be kicking yourself for turning down that date with the fun, interesting guy with a great apartment your friend introduced you to last week.

There’s also the fact that if your guy knows, or suspects, that you’re still seeing others, he’ll have to focus his mind on whether he really wants you or not.

If he runs just because there might be a little competition, maybe he just wasn’t that into you at all and you’ve had a lucky escape.

Top tip:

You never know what’s going to happen next in the early stages of dating. Keep reminding yourself of that and stop looking for certainty.

The beauty of this stage is the uncertainty. Embrace it.

10) Make him feel appreciated

For a man, feeling appreciated is often what separates “like” from “love”.

Don’t get me wrong, no doubt your guy loves your strength and abilities to be independent. But he still wants to feel wanted and useful — not dispensable!

This is because men have a built in desire for something “greater” that goes beyond love or sex. It’s why men who seemingly have the “perfect girlfriend” are still unhappy and find themselves constantly searching for something else —  or worst of all, someone else.

Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to earn your respect, and to be there for the woman he cares about.

Relationship expert James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. I talked about this concept above.

As James argues, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.

How do you trigger this instinct in him? How do you give him a sense of meaning and purpose?

You don’t need to pretend to be anyone you’re not or play the “damsel in distress”. You don’t have to dilute your strength or independence in any way, shape, or form.

In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step up to fulfill it.

In his new video, James Bauer outlines several things you can do. He reveals phrases, texts, and little requests that you can use right now to make him feel more essential to you.

Watch his unique video here.

Top tip:

Men thrive on solving women’s problems.

So, if you need something fixed, or your computer is acting up, or if you have a problem in life and you simply need some advice, then seek your man out.

A man wants to earn your respect. He wants to be the first person you turn to when you genuinely need help.

Although asking for your man’s help may seem fairly innocuous, it actually helps to trigger his hero instinct.

Here’s a link to the excellent free video again.

11) Show you care

As women, we often tend to fixate on getting compliments and appreciation from our date, and that can mean that we forget that maybe they’d like a bit of appreciation too.

We tend to be programmed to think that we should spend our time getting them to notice us, rather than the other way around.

It’s easy to buy into the myth that all men are cocky and over-confident, and don’t need our help to feel more confident.

But actually, while a self-assured guy is always a good thing, it’s great if they have a softer side too.

Someone who’s in touch with their emotions and able to connect with another person will also be someone who appreciates a compliment, or a thoughtful gift, or an offer to pay for dinner.

Showing your appreciation doesn’t have to be all about grand gestures (though they’re often pretty fun).

Little things like getting his favorite foods in when he comes over can make all the difference in the early days.

Small acts of kindness demonstrate that you’re thinking about his needs and that you’re the kind of person who’ll probably keep doing that if you move on to a full-on relationship.

Just treat him as you would like to be treated and you can’t go far wrong.

Top tip:

Plan a surprise date. Let him think you’re just going to the local bar, but having something much more impressive lined up.

Really use your creativity to think up somewhere amazing to go that you know he’ll really love.

He’ll be wowed by you taking the time and effort to find something special to do. Hopefully, he’ll return the favor sometime too.

Related: The strangest thing men desire (And how it can make him crazy for you)

12) Don’t talk about your ex

Image credit: Shutterstock – By Roman Kosolapov

Pretty obvious, right? But it’s surprisingly easy to slip into talking about your ex without meaning to.

Not many people plan to talk about their ex when they’re on a date, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. When you’re on a date, thinking about the possible future you might have together, it’s natural to let your mind wander to your last relationship.

You’re probably thinking about how this guy is different and how, if things work out, you’re not going to make the mistakes you made last time.

Thinking can slip into mentioning, and before you know it, you’re giving your date a full account of the ups and downs of your last relationship.

Don’t do it. No-one likes to feel that they’re being compared to someone else. This is especially true if your last relationship was pretty recent. If your guy knows this, he’s probably extra-aware of any ex-talk.

It doesn’t matter if you’re comparing the new guy favorably, saying things like “you’re so much better than him”. You’re still talking about someone else when you should be keeping your focus on the guy in front of you.

Ex-talk can also make it seem like you’re jumping ahead a little too fast. It can sound as if you think you’re already in a solid relationship (even if that’s not what you think at all).

Top tip:

If you find yourself talking about your ex on a date, or wanting to, maybe you’re not as over him as you thought you were. If this is the case, you’re going to find it hard to look forward and create a new relationship.

Get over your ex by writing down all the things that weren’t right. Be totally honest with yourself. If it didn’t work out, there was a reason for that (maybe lots of reasons). Identify those reasons so you can let go of them.

13) Don’t hide your flaws

It can be really tempting to only show your best self in those first few months when you’re trying to get a guy to like you.

It’s normal, we all have flaws and parts of our personalities which we don’t want to shout out about.

But if you really want a guy to like you, you need to be open and honest with him, about the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of you.

Hiding the parts of you that make you human, such as bad decisions or insecurities, will only stop him from knowing the real you.

And ultimately, you want a guy to like you for who you are, not who you’re pretending to be.

An interesting concept discussed by psychologist Edward Waring (featured on Medium) is the difference between ‘self-disclosure and self-exposure’.

‘Self-exposure’ is when you simply blurt out all the mistakes you’ve ever made, without really going deeper. This isn’t the best way to let someone know your flaws, and can be quite a turn off.

Instead, try ‘self-disclosure’. This is where you delve a little deeper, and share your thoughts or emotions behind bad decisions.

This shows your new partner that you’ve reflected on your flaws, and you’re mature enough to acknowledge them and potentially improve them.

Not only will you feel a weight lifted from not keeping up appearances, but he’ll appreciate that you’ve opened up and been honest with him.

It should help build a stronger connection, and make him feel more comfortable in sharing things with you in return.

Top tip:

You don’t need to share everything at once. Try setting some limits (for yourself) on how deep you want to go into certain topics, especially if it’s a sensitive subject for you.

This will stop you from becoming overwhelmed, and it will keep you in control over how much you feel comfortable sharing.

Your aim when being open and honest isn’t to pile on all your negative characteristics and mistakes, it’s to be real and authentic.

So, if something comes up in conversation and it’s natural to talk about it, go for it. Own your decisions, take responsibility and don’t be afraid to let him know that you’re human and you make mistakes just like everyone else.

14) Speak his language

Have you tried to talk to him about how he feels about you? And does he avoid the topic like the plague?

The thing is that it’s not easy for men to share their feelings with you. Because his biology is working against him.


Male and female brains are biologically different. For instance, the limbic system is the emotional processing center of the brain and it’s much larger in the female brain than in a man’s.

That’s why women are more in touch with their emotions. And why guys can struggle to process and understand their feelings. The result can be confusion about what each other wants.

If you’ve ever been with an emotionally unavailable man before, blame his biology rather than him.

The thing is, to stimulate the emotional part of a man’s brain, you have to communicate with him in a way that he’ll actually understand.

Top tip:

I learned about this from relationship expert Amy North. Click here to watch her excellent free video.

In her video, Amy North reveals exactly what to say to a man to make him want to commit to a deep and passionate relationship with you. These words work surprisingly well on even the coldest and most commitment-phobic men.

If you want to learn science-based techniques to attract men and get them to commit to you, check out her free video here.

15) Get to know his friends

This might seem obvious, but building a good relationship with his friends massively improves your chances of getting a guy to like you.

His friends are people who know him inside and out, and quite possibly they will have grown up together.

These people are important in his life, and their opinion probably carries a lot of weight.

With that being said, don’t let yourself be intimidated or reluctant to meet his friends. It can be a little nerve-wracking and you’ll probably be trying your best to make a good first impression.

But keep in mind that being yourself and being authentic will get you much further than putting on an act.

His friends will want to get to know the real you, the you who’s potentially going to date someone they care about.

By making a good impression on his friends, you’ll be confirming to him that you’re worth having in his life. If his friends like you, they’ll want you around and so will he.

Top tip:

If you’re not sure how to go about befriending his friends, try starting by finding out things you all have in common.

It might take a bit more effort on your part to ask questions and keep the conversation flowing, but in the end it’ll be worth it.

A great way to find out more about them and take (some) of the attention off you is to avoid talking about yourself too much.

If you’re really stuck for conversation starters, you can check out these questions to ask friends.

Keep the conversations light-hearted and fun, after all these are people you might be seeing a lot more of so there’s no rush to learn everything about each other in one go.

Good friendships take time to build, just as good relationships do.

Whilst you want to look interested, make sure to not come across as overly keen or trying too hard. It can be tricky to find the line between the two, so the best thing is to be calm and natural and go with the flow.

16) Compliment him

The majority of women enjoy getting a good, genuine compliment. It feels great to hear positive things being said about our looks or personality, and it’s the same for guys too.

If you really want a guy to like you, drop in a few compliments from time to time.

It doesn’t have to be every single time you speak to him, but when the chance comes up, don’t hold back on letting him know what you find attractive about him.

Psychology Today describes compliments as ways of telling a person that ‘they are worthy of notice’, so not only are you going to make him feel great, you’ll be letting him know that you see him as more than just a friend.

To get a guy to like you, think about complimenting more than just his appearance. Of course, if he’s got a cute smile or a cheeky sparkle to his eyes, let him know as it will probably make his day.

But when you compliment his personality or achievements, you’re showing him that you’ve been paying attention to what he has to say and that you like more about him than just his good looks.

Top tip:

Be genuine. If you’re genuine with your compliments, you can’t really go wrong.

There’s nothing worse than making up compliments just for the sake of it and the other person seeing through your words.

A part of being genuine also includes knowing when the right moment for a compliment is. Don’t force them into the conversation just because it’s popped into your head and you feel you have to drop it in randomly.

Take your time and wait for the right opportunity. This will make it seem much more natural and he will feel more comfortable about being complimented.

If you struggle to think of compliments, spend a few minutes after each date thinking about things that he’s mentioned and make a mental or written note on some areas which you could compliment.

It’s a good idea to pay attention to things that are important to him, as compliments about his passions or hobbies will be more meaningful.

The next time you meet up, you can casually work these topics into conversation and then, when the time is right, slip in your compliment.

Remember, it doesn’t have to be a long speech, keep it short, sweet and to the point.

17) Keep living your life

Those first few months of a new romance can be a whirlwind of excitement and emotions, but it’s always a good idea to keep living the life you had, before you started seeing someone.

Many people make the mistake of putting their hobbies, friends and routines on the backburner because they’re caught up with their new partner.

It might seem like all you want to do is hang out with your new guy and start making memories together, but in some cases this can work against you.

To build a good, solid connection with someone, you need to grow both together and apart.

An independent person often gives off the impression of someone who is confident and in control of their life.

So, it’s important that you have your own interests and hobbies to talk about. Not only will you naturally light up when you talk about things you are passionate about, but it’ll also give him more reasons to like you and find you interesting.

Guys appreciate a confident woman who has her own life, outside of him.

If you have always met your girlfriends on a Friday evening for cocktails, don’t start cancelling now to be with him.

If you enjoy going to the gym before work, don’t change your routine just because it doesn’t suit his routines.

Keeping up with your own life and friendships will make you a lot more attractive, as you’re showing him that you aren’t dependent on him.

Top tip:

Here are some things you can do to keep up with your personal life outside of him:

Try to keep your commitments with family and friends. There will be times where you have to change plans around because you want to spend time with your new guy, but don’t make a habit of doing this.

If you want him to really like you for you, he should know early on that you have a life and you need some personal time to spend with your loved ones. This will give him space, too.

Don’t let him distract you from your work or hobbies. Being able to share things with him about your passion or discussing new details of an upcoming project will keep your new guy interested and impressed.

Make sure to keep some time free just for yourself. You might not want to do anything, but having some peace and alone time is important for your mental health.

By working on yourself and keeping a good balance between your relationships, jobs and personal time, you’ll be a much happier and content person, which will in turn make you more attractive to him.

18) Show him your personal power

If you’re making the effort to be yourself, the confidence should start flowing. That feeling of being who you really are is pretty empowering.

But it doesn’t hurt to take steps to help your confidence levels along. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who is confident in their own skin.

People know that someone who’s confident will make a great date and potential partner. Think of the people you find the most attractive – aren’t they people who seem confident and happy?

But not everyone finds being confident easy. In fact, most of us find it difficult at times. Even the people who seem confident on the outside often aren’t, they’ve just learned to appear that way.

And by appearing confident, they become confident. Ever heard the phrase ‘fake it till you make it’?

Don’t be intimidated by someone else’s confidence. Don’t compare yourself to them. Doing that will only bash your own confidence levels.

Instead, keep reminding yourself that confidence is a choice that you can make, and that the more confident you are, the hotter you’ll be.

One of the biggest things that holds many people back is a feeling that they aren’t good enough..

So how can you overcome this insecurity that’s been nagging you?

The most effective way is to tap into your personal power

You see, we all have an incredible amount of power and potential within us, but most of us never tap into it. We become bogged down in self-doubt and limiting beliefs. We stop doing what brings us true happiness. 

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people align work, family, spirituality, and love so they can unlock the door to their personal power. 

He has a unique approach that combines traditional ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. It’s an approach that uses nothing but your own inner strength – no gimmicks or fake claims of empowerment. 

Because true empowerment needs to come from within.

In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of and increase attraction in your partners, and it’s easier than you might think.So if you’re tired of living in frustration, dreaming but never achieving, and of living in self-doubt, you need to check out his life-changing advice.

Click here to watch the free video.

Top tip:

There are things you can do to trick yourself into confidence. Try:

• Standing or sitting up straight and tall, no slouching.

• Avoiding fidgeting. It makes it look as if you’re nervous or have something to hide. • Making eye contact. This has the added bonus of being a vital way to try and gain someone’s attention.

• Approaching your man. You don’t have to wait for him to come and talk to you. Confident men – the ones you should be interested in – love confident girls who aren’t afraid to make the first move.

• Talking about the things you love doing. If you’re good at something, you’re probably good at telling people about it. That demonstrates confidence and gives you a fantastic conversation starter too.

The women men really fall for…

Common wisdom says that men only fall for exceptional women.

It could be that she has a killer body, the best smile out of all her friends, or maybe she’s a firecracker in bed. Whatever it is, you may feel that she simply has something you don’t have (and perhaps never will).

As a man I can tell you that this way of thinking is dead wrong.

None of those things actually matter when it comes to men falling for a woman. In fact, it’s not the attributes of the woman that matter at all.

What matters most is NOT what he sees when he looks at her… But how he feels about himself when he’s around her.

The truth is this:

Men fall for women because of how those women make them feel about themselves.

Make him feel like the man he wants to be

I’ve recently been introduced to a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology that explains so much about men: the hero instinct.

The hero instinct is the basic biological urge men have to provide for and protect women.

Simply put, men want to be your everyday hero. Not an action hero like Thor, but he does want to step up to the plate for the woman in his life. And to be appreciated for his efforts.

Relationship expert James Bauer’s new video will help you to really understand these natural biological instincts. He reveals what makes men tick, who they fall in love with, and how to make that woman YOU.

You can watch the free video here.


Disclosure: This post is brought to you by the Hack Spirit review team. In our reviews, Hack Spirit highlights products and services that you might find interesting. If you buy them, we receive a small commission from that sale. However, we only ever recommend products that we have personally investigated and truly feel could be valuable to you. Read our affiliate disclosure here. We welcome your feedback at

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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