How to get a girl to like you: 15 no-nonsense tips

When it comes to attracting a girl you like, I’m sure you’ve heard enough advice like “be confident” or “wear cool clothes” for one lifetime.

But if you’re looking for some practical strategies that work, then you’ll love this post.

It’s an actionable 10 point cheat-sheet you can use to get any girl to like you.

Let’s go:

1) Look neat and clean

As much as you might not want to admit it, physical appearance is undoubtedly essential.

Now it’s certainly not the be all and end all of attracting a woman, but if you look good, it’s going to make it a whole lot easier.

While you can’t change your genetics, you can make sure your well groomed and in shape.

This means wearing clothes that fit you properly, getting a haircut, shaving (or making your beard look clean), and showering.

Try to stay in shape too. Work out regularly by lifting weights, running and anything that works up a sweat.

You don’t have to look like the hulk, either. Most girls don’t like that anyway.

So try to get fit, not thick.

2) Let her talk

Rather than try to guess what’s going on with her, ask questions, and then listen. Really listen. Give her the space she needs to speak her truth and be interested in it.

She’ll know you’re for real because she’ll feel supported and she’ll feel like you are listening.

If you are someone who listens to her, you’ll never have a problem getting her to love you.

Women want to be with men who get them and listen to them.

And you have to be able to talk to her for you to get to know her.


You don’t have to try and pick her up right away. Getting a girl to like you can take time.

The bottom line is this:

If you try to become her friend, you’ll come across as less sleazy and more trustworthy.

Try highlighting your interests and hobbies and find something that you have in common. This is your gateway to rapport and building a friendship.

Girls don’t really fall for random strangers. It just doesn’t happen that often. This is why it’s much better to make an effort to be friends with them first.

3) No two women are the same

Stop believing everything you read about women in general and start paying attention to what makes her unique.

Generalizations, like many you read online these days, are dangerous ways to approach relationships and even people in general.

Because every single human on the planet is different – and in many cases, dramatically different – you can’t follow the advice that generalizes how to make people fall in love with you.

Instead, focus on her as her own person, and you’ll get much farther in a relationship than most people.

4) Look beyond what you see

If you want to have any chance in hell in getting a woman to fall in love with you, you need to look beyond what you see on the surface and be willing to see things about her that maybe she doesn’t even see.

You aren’t looking for flaws to point out, but rather wonderful things about her personality and interests that she might be too busy to think about or give attention to.

If you point out how wonderful these things are and how they are an important part of who she is, she’ll be hooked on your every word.

5) Make her laugh

Making a girl laugh is crucial if you want to attract them. There’s no getting around it.

This doesn’t just mean telling witty jokes and stories, it also means being fun.

Keep the vibe relaxed: If you’re too serious or intense, you’ll kill the vibe.

Try to be relaxed and non-judgmental. If you make her feel comfortable, she’ll more easily be able to laugh.

Prepare yourself to laugh as well. If you smile and loosen up, it will enhance the vibe and you’ll become more attractive yourself.

Also, try learning how to be self-deprecating. This is the ability to laugh at yourself.

Gently mock yourself will show your sense of humor and that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

For example, you could talk about your poor choice of clothes or your terrible drinking skill.

Whatever is, lighten the mood and have some fun.

6) Flirt

Flirting is key to attracting a girl.

Because the factor of the matter is this:

If you only focus on becoming her friend, then you might get stuck in the friend zone. You need to remind her that you’re attractive yourself.

One easy way to flirt is to compliment them genuinely.

Don’t compliment them on something that’s everyone else notices. Focus on something you know they’ve put effort into, like their hair or their outfit.

The more unique and genuine your compliment is, the more they’ll notice.

Flirting can also be seen with body language as well. Make sure you smile and laugh. This is a great way to lift the sexual vibes.

The longer the conversation goes, the more opportunity you’ll have to be playful. And a great way to show this person that you aren’t afraid to be playful is by teasing.

Tease them about a silly joke, or about the drink they chose, or even about a story they just shared with you.

But remember:

There’s a very fine line between playful teasing and offensive teasing. When you don’t really know the person yet, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

7) Impress her

In order for her to like you, you’re going to have to impress her somehow.

However, don’t automatically think that this means money and nice material possessions. Some girls simply won’t be impressed by that. They’ll think your lame, superficial and boring.

So the best thing you can do here is just to be yourself. Focus on improving yourself, from your skills to your personality.

She could be impressed by your honesty, your authenticity, or the fact you’re well-spoken.

Whatever it is, if you work on yourself and you’re happy with who you are, then it’s more likely she’ll be impressed with something about you.

8) Touch her…in a friendly way

You don’t have to be a sleaze about it, but if you can touch her in a friendly and comforting way, you’ll be far more likely to build rapport and attraction.

For example, you can offer a hand when she has to jump over a step, or you could give her a nice, warm hug when you meet her.

If she’s worried about something, you can put your hand lightly on her shoulder.

Keep the touching light and not too direct, and it’ll go a long way to building attraction and comfort.

9) Agree to disagree

When you are courting your love interest, it’s best to not upset the status quo with topics that spark fury or debate.

While it’s important that you are authentic and act like your true self, if your goal is to get her to fall in love with you, you want to appear as agreeable as possible to her.

That doesn’t mean you should let her walk all over you, but it does mean letting her have the odd (or majority) win in conversations where matters of the heart are concerned.

10) Give her space

Even though you are working hard to get her to fall in love with you, remember that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

If you want to find out how she feels about you, take some time apart and you’ll soon find out how she feels about you and your relationship.

If you are there all the time she can’t know what it’s like when you aren’t around.

Give her the chance to find out and then she’ll come around to the idea that she wants you around more often.

11) Take your time

While you might be dying to be in a relationship and to have a woman fall in love with you, take your time to choose the right woman.

The right woman will love you for who you are and for what you stand for. She won’t worry about the flaws and the things you worry about.

If you are trying to get a woman to fall in love with you, look for someone who compliments you and adds to our life, instead of taking from it.

Women, like men, are all different and not every woman is going to be a suitable match for you, your life, your goals, and your dreams.

12) You’re worthy

Remember that you are worthy of being liked and loved, and while it’s not something you might say to yourself on a regular basis, it is true.

Before you let a girl know how you feel, remember that she’s also probably nervous about talking to someone she likes and cut yourself some slack.

Everyone feels less than worthy when their pride is on the line.

Take a deep breath and ask her out. Instead of wondering what’s the worst that could happen, be brave and be willing to find out. You’ll be glad you did.

13) You don’t “need” her to be happy

Guys often feel like they need to showboat or get a woman’s attention in order to be able to make a move, but if you act like you don’t need her, or even see her, you are more likely to get her attention.

Women like it when people pay attention to them and if she’s got you in her sight and you aren’t paying attention to her, she’s more likely to come over and talk to you.

You might not have to do any of the hard work at all. Acting like you don’t need her or even want her is a way to get her to make the first move.

Are you the kind of guy that tends to fall into the “friend zone” a little too easily?

If you don’t have your own life, this could be a major culprit. After all, women are attracted to guys who have a sense of ambition and purpose.

And if you don’t have something going on in your life, you’re more likely to be needy.

Some girls like neediness – but they’re the type of girls who are insecure, or enjoy trampling over a “nice guy”. These are definitely girls that you want to avoid for a variety of reasons.

So, make sure you have your own life – friendships, interests, hobbies, purpose, goals, passion.

Otherwise, you’ll be way too needy.

So, keep this in mind:

Your outlook on life should be that you don’t “need” a girl to make happy. You’re happy with your own life. And that’s much more attractive anyway.

14) Be patient

Sometimes, it takes more than one try to get a woman to like you and if you are patient, it might pay off big time.

Proximity and familiarity have a lot to do with the men women choose to hang around with and thus fall in love with.

If you are there and she sees you on the regular, you’ll be more likely to be able to talk to her because she’ll feel familiar to you too.

15) Leave your expectations at home

One of the things that will kill a good buzz that you get going before talking to a woman is a giant list of expectations.

Don’t put too many expectations on yourself about how you should be or how you should act. Do the same for her: don’t apply too many expectations to your first few conversations because everyone is nervous and you’re just trying to get to the good stuff.

Expectations put a lot of pressure on things and make people feel strange so leave them at the door.


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Lachlan Brown

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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