Is there a guy you like but you aren’t quite sure if he feels the same?
If so then you’re probably feeling anxious, confused and unsure about what to do.
Based on the advice of dating experts and my own experiences as a guy, the below guide is for how to make a guy admit he likes you.
If you’re tired of waiting and always being unsure, this guide is for you!
1) Get to know him well
First off, I believe that no high quality guy is going to open up about his feelings for a girl he doesn’t know yet.
Getting to know him well is a matter of time and intensity.
Make it short and sweet, generally.
If you find that you have feelings for him and are not sure whether he’s on the same page, it’s not necessarily about spending more time with him.
Rather, it’s about spending more quality time with him.
This means doing fun activities together, having funny and interesting conversations and connecting in ways that are meaningful.
There is no formula for this, but the more you connect and get to know each other the closer he will be to opening up to you about how he really feels and whether he feels romantic potential with you.
2) Learn to be a great listener
Many of us guys will give out various clues about where we’re at in life and what we’re looking for.
It’s just a matter of listening.
Especially if you’re just getting to know this man it may be tempting to barrage each other with 100 questions each or talk a mile a minute.
Instead, I want to encourage you to leave that conversational space whenever possible.
Learning to be a great listener doesn’t mean that you stop talking or that you never interrupt or speak your mind.
It really is just a matter of leaving a fraction of a second more after someone says something to respond, in some cases, or asking a followup question instead of switching to talking about you.
Many guys, myself included, like to talk about ourselves.
Giving that opportunity to him is a way to get to know him better and move closer to getting him to finally admit his feelings (or lack of feelings) for you.
3) Remain a bit of a mystery
Attraction is built and heightened in mystery.
What I mean by this is that both men and women who tend to generate the most romantic interest also tend to be a bit mysterious.
They don’t necessarily wear sunglasses and have a cryptic grin, but they do have a demeanor of being slightly reserved and not trying hard to appeal or reach out to potential mates.
This lack of reaching out and self-sufficiency tends to draw people to them and heighten interest.
It’s something the Brazilian shaman Rudá Iandê talks about in his video on finding true love and intimacy.
As he explains, far too many of us end up going in circles or facing constant disappointment because we go after love in the wrong way.
Part of learning to find what we really want and love in an empowering way is learning not to reveal all of ourselves at once.
By holding something back and being patient and calm you end up drawing better love your way and having more success in life.
Click here to watch the free video.
4) Ask what he finds attractive
Another important step for how to make a guy admit he likes you is to bring up the subject of attraction and find out what he finds attractive.
If he’s smart he’ll catch on about what you’re getting at pretty quickly.
As for attraction, it’s an interesting thing…
Attraction has three categories: mental, emotional and physical.
People often fall in love on one or several of these layers and then develop the others later on.
Lack in one or two of the categories can lead to a lack of success in the relationship.
Mentally you want to engage him in interesting conversation, connect in your common interests and stimulate each other’s minds.
Emotionally you want to find out the ways in which you share common experiences or can empathize and sympathize with each other.
Physically you are trying your best to be attractive and present your best foot forward, including spending time with him when you are feeling high energy levels and in a decent mood.
5) Be patient and watch for IOIs
Getting a guy to admit he likes you can take time, but if he’s interested in you he’s eventually going to open up, make a move or wait for you to make a move.
That’s why it’s important to have an idea whether he really is interested to start with.
In this respect, you want to be on the lookout for IOIs (Indicators of Interest).
There are many IOIs which are likely for him to show.
Here are the various IOIs which I recommend to be on the lookout for:
- Orienting his body towards you and trying to be close to you
- Licking or biting his lips and looking at your lips
- Checking out your body
- Being short of breath around you
- Blushing and stumbling over his speech
- Trying to touch you whenever possible
- Being interested in your ideas and what shapes your life’s values
- Asking followup questions and choosing to converse with you
- Initiating conversations with you when he has free time
- Challenging and engaging with you on ideas and competing perspectives
- Caring about how you feel and asking if you’re OK
- Sympathizing and empathizing with your experiences
- Confiding emotions and experiences to you
- Appreciating your sense of humor and wit
- Mentioning what he appreciates about you and how you make him feel
If he’s showing many of these IOIs then he’s not far off from saying he likes you or hoping you ask.
6) Find out where he’s headed
What are this guy’s plans for the future?
Bringing up the topic of the future in a non-pressuring way is one of the best ways to get a picture of whether or not he likes you and how close he is to potentially opening up about it.
When you orient your interactions around ideas of what you both plan to do down the road, it brings up the obvious next question…
Who does he want to do it with?
Might it potentially be you?
Or is he into someone else?
Talking about the future and getting him comfortable with the subject is a good way to open up his mind to the idea of dating you.
If he likes you then he’s more likely to mention his feelings when you’ve planted the focus in him about the future.
Opening up about your plans going forward encourages him to tell you how he feels towards you, or at least what he thinks of your priorities.
7) Earn his trust
Earlier I wrote about getting to know him and seeing how you connect emotionally, intellectually and physically.
How attracted are you?
How are your conversations? Can you laugh at each other’s jokes?
A related part of this is how much you trust each other to confide in your true self, but also how much you trust each other to ask for favors and help each other out.
Can you ask for advice about something or get a hand from him when you need help?
What about him, does he feel comfortable asking for a ride from you in your car?
Building this trust isn’t only a matter of time, it’s a matter of how deep your connection is.
The more you feel like you really connect, the more that trust is likely to grow.
And once he trusts you, he’s going to be able to open up and admit he likes you without being afraid of what you’ll say.
After all, he may be worried himself and unsure whether you like him, too.
But knowing that he can trust you and that you won’t judge him for opening up is what will cause him to tell you he likes you and take the risk of putting his feelings on the table.
8) Don’t force it
If he’s going to admit he likes you, he’s going to do it on his own schedule.
You can’t force it, and attempts to pressure him or strongly declaring your own feelings for him are likely to push him in the opposite direction.
Even a guy who likes you is quite likely to get spooked if he feels under too much pressure to declare his interest in you.
Finding love and intimacy can feel so confusing sometimes, because the harder you push the more the other person runs.
The key here is to give him some space to explore his own feelings and come to you on his own.
Dating coach John Keegan has good advice on this:
“To get a shy guy to acknowledge his crush, you’ll need to build trust with him, listen to him, and take your time.
“If you give him some space to open up, he eventually will!”
This is definitely a good philosophy, because by showing him that he can move on his own time and when he’s ready, he’s more likely to feel braver to say how he feels about you.
9) Make yourself less available
The idea of playing hard to get is popular for a reason:
The reason is that it works.
But my caveat here is that it only works if you’re not playing. In other words, being actually hard to get is very attractive.
Because it is a surefire indicator of high value.
It’s not that you’re unavailable or uninterested, mind you, it’s just that you have a life and many priorities, not only him.
And that’s very attractive.
If you’re wondering when a guy will finally admit to liking you and feeling like people are always on the fence about you, it can be very frustrating.
Making yourself less available has a lot to do with changing how you think about love and attraction, which is something Rudá also talks about in his video on finding true love and intimacy.
I highly recommend checking out what he says there because I know I have found it very helpful in my own dating life.
Speaking of which…
10) Bring up the topic of dating
Bringing up the topic of dating is a good idea which can jumpstart a declaration of feelings for him.
But it also has the potential to go sideways if you’re too ambivalent about it or turn it into a friends-type conversation.
In other words if you start getting too specific and talking about your dating history or guys you might like, he’s going to think you’re friendzoning him.
But bringing up the topic in a more general sense in terms of how he feels about commitment and if he’s single is not a bad idea.
I know that the website Relationship Hero is the best place I’ve found for these kinds of questions.
They have certified love coaches that you can connect with really quickly and get great advice on subjects like this.
I personally found them extremely helpful in the past when struggling from my end to open up to a girl about my feelings for her.
So even though I was asking from the other side of this question, I saw how smart they were about understanding my emotions and perspective.
11) Put jealousy to work
Being less available can also entail working to stir up a bit of jealousy in him.
When a guy feels you’re definitely single and not dating much he’s much less likely to make his feelings known for you.
But when he feels a bit more like you could start up something serious with someone else, he’s much more likely to make a move.
Earlier I mentioned not to pressure him, but being aware that you may be causing him to feel a little jealous is not forcing him.
It’s just giving him the knowledge that you do have other options and that you’re not dependent on him.
This shows him that he can’t keep being indecisive or not saying how he feels forever, which in turn is much more likely to motivate him to admit that he likes you and make a move.
12) Ask his friends
Asking a guy’s friends can be like getting valuable intelligence on how he’s feeling and what his deal is.
Think of yourself a bit like a love spy here.
Although you don’t have to even be secretive about it either. Because the thing is that if he hears you’ve been asking more about his relationship status and whether he’s available or interested, this is likely to get back and reach his ears.
This, in turn, will prompt him to make his move.
If you’ve been asking about him and he hears about that, then he’s much more likely to reach out to you, since he now knows you’re into him.
13) Make a move
Making a move is sure to answer the question of whether he likes you and get him to finally admit it.
In blunt terms:
If he kisses you back he’s at least potentially into you, and if he wriggles away or acts uninterested then he’s not into you.
If you make a move a bit more subtly by putting an arm around him or holding his hand it can also be very clarifying.
How does he react?
Does he touch you even more or shy away from your touch?
This can lead directly to him admitting he has feelings for you, because he now feels reassured by your body language and affection that you will receive the news well.
14) Just ask him
Sometimes the direct approach is the best approach.
In other words:
Just ask him.
The most he can do is say he doesn’t like you, and if you come right out and ask then he’s likely to just up and say it.
What do you have to lose?
As Samarpita Yashaswini writes:
“You can always be direct and just ask him about his feelings for you.
“Be straightforward and come to the point and make him realize that he can be honest with you and express his feelings for you without being judged or critiqued.”
Levels of like
Of course if a guy says he likes you that’s great, but how much can you really bank on it?
Does he like you for one night or a whole lifetime?
Does he love your mind and personality or your body (or all three?)
Does he want something serious or is he going through a crisis and time of confusion that leaves him unready for a relationship?
A lot depends on the situation and also on how much he likes you.
If a guy has admitted he likes you that’s one thing, but what comes next and what will it lead to?
That is something that remains for the two of you to explore together.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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